Love Beyond Death
by zephyran
Summary: *COMPLETED* Our heroes have survived Time Compression, and are ready to move on. But the years ahead hold as much pain as they do pleasure. Squall/Rinoa and Quistis/Seifer. Language, some adult situations, and some violence. Please R R!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8 or any related characters; SquareSoft does. I'm making no money off publishing this story, so please don't sue.

  


Author's note: I've revised this chapter because, after looking at it again, I felt I could have done a lot better with it. I will probably revise the next few chapters as well. 

  
  
  


Prologue  
Scene: Balamb Garden Ballroom

  
  


The heroes of the world had just returned from Time Compression that afternoon. After such a mind-bending experience, it was difficult for them to accept that the world, indeed time itself, had been restored to normal. Such an experience would have caused weaker minds to break. Yet these two teenagers, who had seen more battles than most living adults, had returned with more mental strength then they'd ever thought they possessed. 

As they stood on the balcony, they decided to embrace this moment with each other and to make every second count. They didn't know when the next sorceress from the future, mad dictator, or omnipotent monster would appear and threaten their existence again. And being soldiers, it was their job to fight.

More precisely, it was _his_ job. Squall Leonhart, newly appointed SeeD and Commander of Balamb Garden, leaned on the balcony rail and smiled at his companion, Rinoa Heartilly. He felt so refreshed, being able to smile once again. His half-foot-long brown hair blew slightly in the breeze as Garden flew off into night.

Rinoa smiled back at him and pointed upward toward a shooting star. Her soft, feminine features seemed incapable of hate, anger, or bitterness. Her innocent smile did not betray the immense power held within her body.

As Rinoa gazed upon the SeeD, she felt everything was right with the world. All her worries, fears, and doubts melted away into the night. For the short time she'd known Squall, she found he'd brought out the best in her, mostly because she had to try so hard to get him out of his shell.

Squall remembered the night they'd first met, at the ball celebrating his group's graduation into SeeD. She'd caught his eye and pointed out a shooting star she'd seen through the ballroom's glass dome ceiling. At the time, Squall just looked at her, trying to understand why a perfect stranger was smiling at _him_, the only one at the party acting like he didn't want to be there. 

_I've sure changed since then,_ he thought.

He took Rinoa's arm and drew her to him, holding her in a gentle embrace. "Thank you," he said in his rarely-heard voice.

Rinoa, her eyes closed peacefully, asked, "What for?"

"For everything," replied Squall. "For coming up to that stoic guy in the corner and making him dance with you."

Rinoa chuckled a little.

Squall continued, "For believing in me even when I didn't. For depending on me and making me be dependable. And especially for saving my life. I wouldn't have made it out of Time Compression without you."

Rinoa sighed, and turned around in Squall's arms. She held his arms around her, holding her back against his chest. "You jumped out into space to save me, without even knowing if you'd survive. I wasn't going to let a little thing like the space-time continuum keep us apart."

They both chuckled for a second. Then, with a sigh, Rinoa said, "Squall, there's something I have to ask you. Something that kind of bothers me about what happened in Time Compression."

Squall mumbled an "Mm hmmm," his eyes closed with contentment. He dreaded any thought about Time Compression, but tried to soothe his discomfort through his embrace with her.

"Why did you get lost after we beat Ultimecia?" asked Rinoa. "Everyone else told me they just kind of wandered around, and found themselves at the orphanage. But you ended up in some desert and nearly died."

Squall sighed. "It's kind of hard to explain. I guess I was hoping I wouldn't have to explain it."

Rinoa loosened her grip on Squall's arms slightly. She felt her heart drop in her chest. _He's going to say he doesn't really love me. That's it. He's just trying to soften the blow._ Her head hung down. "You promised you'd meet me in the flower field. You didn't come."

Squall, feeling her trepidation, said in a soothing tone, "I wanted to be with you, with all of you. But there was something I had to do first. And I knew I wouldn't get another chance.

"I went back to meet Edea at the orphanage, at the time she accepted Ultimecia's powers. I tried to stop her from accepting them, but she wouldn't listen to me. But..." _you can tell her, Squall..._"that wasn't the real reason I went back there, because I knew I couldn't change the past. I...needed to go back and look at myself as I was before Sis left, before I shut everyone out. I couldn't remember it, so I had to see something with my own eyes, to let me know that I wasn't some machine, you know?"

Rinoa perked up when he said that. Squall, admitting that he's not a machine? That was something she didn't expect to hear. She pulled his arms in tight again.

Squall continued, "What I saw was a vulnerable little kid, crying because he didn't know how to deal with his feelings. Then I realized that was still what I was, just hiding behind an adamantine wall. And I never thought I'd admit that to anyone, even myself. I just don't know what it is about you, Rinoa, but you've brought out something in me I don't ever remember having."

Rinoa turned around in his embrace and looked deep into his eyes. No longer the cold, calculating eyes she'd looked into several times before, but inviting, vulnerable, almost naïve. She took his face into her hands and pressed her lips to his. She felt something wet touch her cheek, right where it met Squall's. She pulled back a little, touched the tear on his cheek, and looked at Squall with a slightly puzzled look. Squall's eyes were misty, and he was smiling.

"I'm just so happy to be with you," he said.

Without another word, Rinoa drew him in again and they kissed passionately.

*   


Ex-Instructor Quistis Trepe stood inside the ballroom, talking to Headmaster Cid Kramer and his wife, Edea. Even though Cid had demoted her to SeeD, she still saw him as a father to her. He hadn't told her it was a permanent demotion, but that he would give her a little more time to hone her skills, probably commanding actual SeeD missions. He didn't say it to her, but she knew he'd regretted having thrust her into the position of Instructor at such an early age. 

Right now, though, her pain of being demoted was all but locked away. She and Cid were reminiscing on the past, about when Cid and Edea ran the orphanage where Quistis, Squall, Seifer, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine had grown. Because Quistis had been using Guardian Forces for several years now, she'd sacrificed her memories of her childhood, whether pleasant or not. Edea helped fill in what she could, also making sure to point out how proud she was of the children she'd seen as her own. As they talked, Quistis saw the video camera pointed right at them. All three of them waved at Selphie Tilmitt, who was excitedly waving back and telling them to smile. Selphie then moved on to record some of the other partygoers.

Cid stifled a yawn, and Edea smiled. "I guess his old bones have had enough excitement for one night," she said. Quistis noted how soft and motherly her voice was now, and found it hard to imagine that this was the same woman who had viciously killed Galbadian President Vinzer Deling, and then nearly terminated her and her friends.

_No,_ Quistis corrected herself. _That wasn't her. That was Ultimecia, living inside her like a parasite and using her for her own evil desires._

"Yes, I think maybe I should turn in, so I don't spoil the young people's fun," smiled Cid. With warm goodbyes, Edea and Cid strode, hand-in-hand, toward the exit.

Quistis sighed. They'd been together so many years, and even after all that had happened to both of them, they were still together, and still very much in love. She wished she had someone that loved her like that. She feared it wouldn't be anytime soon.

Trying to get her mind off her loneliness, she walked over to the table where Zell Dincht, not surprisingly, was stuffing his face with his beloved hot dogs. She chuckled. Since he's missed them every time the cafeteria made them, he was probably trying to build up his supply now. The girl sitting next to Zell, whom Quistis guessed was his girlfriend, seemed to be trying to enjoy herself as her date stuffed himself silly.

Suddenly, she saw him grab for his throat. _Shit,_ she thought, _he's choking!_ She ran over to him, getting ready to perform the Jovsky maneuver on him to clear his windpipe. Instead, he coughed hard enough and dislodged the piece of food from his windpipe, also spewing out half-chewed hot dog onto the table and his friends. His girlfriend patted him on the back and asked him if he was all right. 

Irvine Kinneas, who now held the video camera for some reason, made some remark that included the word "wuss". Zell's eyes lit up like a Flare spell, and he overturned the table at which he'd been sitting.

"Irvine, I'm gonna kick your ass!" he shouted. 

"Zell, calm down!" said his girlfriend.

"Yeah, c'mon, he was just joking, right, Irvy?" Selphie looked at Irvine dangerously.

Irvine, fearing the smaller girl's wrath, just said, "Uh, yeah, just joking, man."

Instead of attacking Irvine, Zell stormed off, his girlfriend in tow.

Selphie and Quistis both shook their heads. Then, Selphie said, "Hey, look over there!" Quistis and Irvine both turned to see what she was pointing at. One of the balcony double doors was open, and they could see Rinoa talking to someone. 

There was no doubt in Quistis' mind who that someone was. She shook her head, trying to put him out of her mind. _Too late, Trepe,_ she thought sadly. _Maybe if you'd been more assertive..._

_What are you talking about?_ she asked herself. _You helped get them together!_

As she finished that thought, she saw Selphie and Irvine arguing about something. It seems the battery in the camcorder had died, and neither of them wanted to leave to get the spare.

_Yeah,_ thought Quistis, _they'll make the perfect couple._

She looked back to Rinoa out on the balcony. She walked slightly to the left, so she could see Squall. She then stopped suddenly when she saw him pull Rinoa into an embrace. Moments later, they were pressing their lips together. _Oh, God,_ thought Quistis. _They're kissing._ She would be the first to admit that she knew very little about love, but if there were ever a kiss of true love, she was observing it at that moment.

As much as she wanted to turn away, she continued watching, hoping they wouldn't see her. She saw Rinoa pull back from Squall and wipe a tear away from his cheek with her finger. _A tear. Squall never cries. Dear God in Eden,_ Quistis lamented, _he loves her. He_ trusts _her. What have I done? I let him slip away from me, and pushed him into her arms! _

She listened intently as Squall said, "I'm just so happy to be with you." Her heart shattered as she watched them kiss even more passionately than before.

Quistis turned away. She'd seen enough. Trying to maintain her public guise of confidence, she strode quickly out of the ballroom. Once she was clear, she broke into a run toward the elevator. She hoped she would make it back to her room before she started crying her eyes out.

_I took the one man I've ever loved, and literally pushed him into the arms of another woman. Am I insane?_ When she reached the elevator, she had a moment to remember the chain of events that had led to this pain.

_I told them all that my feelings for him were those of a sister, that I was trying to take Ellone's place. I almost had myself believing it._

She stepped in the elevator when it arrived, and rode it down. _I practically had to force him to rescue her, not once, but twice! How can he love her all of a sudden?_

When the elevator arrived at the bottom floor, she started running again toward the dorms. _Because I gave up on him. He treated everyone like dirt, even Rinoa. I gave up on him, but she kept pushing. How could I have been so stupid to miss it?_

"Dammit!" she shouted, getting a strange look from the Garden faculty member blocking the entrance to the Quad.

She tried not to think anymore until she reached her dorm. When she finally made it there, she locked the door behind her, kicked off her boots, and flopped down on the bed, face down.

_I love you Squall. Why did you never even_ like _me?_ She buried her face in her pillow and sobbed openly. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep.

*   


Squall and Rinoa finally returned to the ballroom from the balcony, to find many fewer people than they'd expected to be there.

"Huh, it must be late," said Squall

"I didn't notice," said Rinoa, clinging to Squall's arm.

He smiled. "Me neither."

They both saw Irvine and Selphie in a corner. Irvine was whispering something in Selphie's ear, and she was giggling.

"Irvy, stop it!" she said. "Hey, guys! Where have _you_ been?"

Squall and Rinoa both just looked away shyly. "Nowhere," said Squall, finally.

"Yeah, right," said Irvine. "We saw you both out there, you crazy kids."

"So what?" said Squall.

"Hey, easy big guy," said Irvine. "We're just glad you two finally hooked up for real, right, Sefie?"

"Yeah, it's so _exciting_!" squealed Selphie. "Squall and Rinoa, together forever!"

Squall looked away again and scratched the back of his head. Rinoa smiled at Squall's shyness, and hugged him closer. "Aw, guys, you're embarrassing him."

"Exactly!" said Selphie, giggling. 

Squall put his hand back down and grasped Rinoa's. "So...this place has really cleared out, huh?"

"Yeah," said Irvine. "Too much partying after too much fighting. Guess that's the way of SeeD, isn't it?"

Squall shrugged. "I wouldn't know. Haven't been a SeeD long enough."

Selphie slugged Squall in the ribs playfully. "Not that Mister Statue ever liked going to parties anyway." Squall placed his hand on the spot Selphie had slugged him. It was still sore from their battle with Ultimecia's GF, Griever.

"Even Zell and Quisty are gone already," said Rinoa. 

"Yeah, Zell was a little pissed," said Irvine. "Quisty just kinda left in a hurry right afterward."

Squall nodded slowly. "She's probably still taking her demotion from Instructor a bit hard."

"She told me about that," said Rinoa. "She sounded really sad about it."

"Well," said Squall, "I'm sure she'll be able to get it back someday. The Headmaster really likes her, and maybe now that NORG is gone, he'll have a better chance of running the place the way _he_ wants to."

Selphie sighed. "Listen to us, talking business when there's a pahhh-tay going on!"

Irvine, Squall, and Rinoa looked around. "Looks pretty dead to me," said Irvine. "Maybe it's time we all turned in."

As if in agreement, Rinoa barely stifled a yawn. Squall placed his hand on the back of her head and stroked her silken black hair lightly. "C'mon, Rin, I'll take you to your dorm."

"Whoa, tiger! You sure move fast, don't ya?" Irvine winked at him. Squall just glared back.

Rinoa giggled. "You've never called me anything but _Rinoa_ before. Guess you _do_ like me!" She cleared her throat. "I would very much appreciate an escort from the Commander of SeeD to my quarters."

Squall put his hand to his forehead in defeat. "See you two later," he said as he and Rinoa walked, arm-in-arm, out of the ballroom.


	2. Chapter 1: Frustration

Disclaimer:  SquareSoft owns Final fantasy and all related characters.  I wrote this for fun, and am making no money from it.

Chapter 1:  Frustration

Scene:  Balamb Garden

The Next Morning

Quistis woke up and found herself laying face down on her bed, which was still made, and she was still in her clothes.  Her eyes felt puffy, which told her she'd cried herself to sleep.

She turned over and sat up on her bed.  She remembered the dream she'd been having just before she woke up.  Squall was standing there, his arms open, waiting for her.  She was running to meet his embrace, her arms open.  But as she got closer, her feet began to stick to the ground, like she was running through mud.  She got close, so close, when Rinoa came out of nowhere and jumped into his embrace.

That was when she woke up.  She felt like crying, but she'd used up all of her tears just getting to sleep.  Instead, she stood up and checked the clock.  Oh-four hundred hours.  The party should have broken up by now, and everyone should be in their dorms.

Not caring what she looked like, Quistis scooped up her Save the Queen whip, attached it to her belt, and left her dorm room.  Maybe some training will do her good.

The halls were empty, all underclassmen dutifully resting up for the next day, and upperclassmen and partygoers sleeping off their hangovers.  She strode past the Garden employee blocking entrance to the cafeteria, toward the only open facility at this time of morning, the training center.  As she approached, she heard the cries of the various forms of wildlife living within.  The noise helped quiet her own thoughts as she geared herself up for survival.  If she didn't stay on her toes, she could very well be killed training.

Quistis spent several hours in the training room, and let her emotions boil over and feed her anger.  Very often, even without being injured, she felt herself able to use her Blue Magic.  She figured it was because she felt so hurt, so alone, so sad, and so angry all at once.  Every strike of her whip became more ferocious, and none of the monsters even stood a chance.  She either let a sob or a scream of emotional pain escape with every strike of her weapon.

She felt herself finally starting to get tired.  She checked her wristwatch, and noticed that it was twelve-oh-five.  She'd been in there for about eight hours, missed breakfast, and was now missing lunch, and yet she didn't care.

Just then, she heard a rustle behind her.  She spun around and struck hard with her whip, before she realized what, or whom, she was striking.  Fortunately for her guest, he had quick enough reflexes to block her blow with his gunblade.

"Squall!" Quistis shouted.  She dropped her whip and just stood there in silence.

"Not the kind of greeting I was hoping for," said Squall.  "You look like you've been busy."

Quistis realized that with eight hours of training came eight hours of sweat and tears.  Her hair was probably a mess.  Her face probably looked like she'd run all the way to Esthar and back, and her clothes were probably sweat-stained and disgusting.

"I..." she stuttered, "I've been training.  Don't want to, uh, lose my edge, you know.  Was planning to go for a couple more hours"

"No problem," said Squall.  "Though I thought it was against the rules to train alone, because of how dangerous it can be.  Would you mind partnering up?"

Quistis bent down and picked up her whip.  "Of course not, Squall.  You are Commander, after all."

Squall lowered his head and shook it a little.  "Still can't get used to that title."

Quistis smiled slightly.  "You will.  You wouldn't have it if you didn't deserve it."

Squall, like normal, gave no reply to the compliment.  Instead, he motioned for them to continue on.  They roamed together through the large multi-chambered room, dispatching various groups of monsters along the way.

After fighting and defeating one of the feared T-Rexaurs, Squall said to Quistis, "Just like old times."

Quistis knew what he meant.  The evening that he'd been promoted, and she'd been _de_moted, to SeeD soldier, they had fought their way through the training center to go to the students' late night hangout.  Quistis remembered the night all too well, and it opened another fresh would in her heart.

"I remember," she said.  "I told you that I had been demoted, and you told me to deal with my own problems, to go…"

"…talk to a wall," finished Squall.  He'd lowered both his weapon and his head, shamefully.  "Look, Quistis, I'm sorry about that.  I didn't intend to hurt your feelings, but… I just didn't want anyone getting close to me.  After Sis left us all those years…"

"What you said really hurt me, Squall.  You made me feel like a piece of buel guano you'd just stepped in."  She looked at him accusingly.

Squall walked up to her slowly, sheathed his weapon, and said, "I know, and I'm sorry."  

He looked her right in the eye with the most sincere look he'd ever given her.  She felt her anger begin to melt away.  If only this had happened a few weeks ago…

Squall broke the moment and said, "I hope I can make up for all that."

Quistis, trying not to get her hopes up, failed.  "Really?"

  
"Yeah.  You and Rinoa get along so well, and we've known each other longer than we remember, I mean, we've got a good foundation for friendship, right?"

Quistis almost grimaced at the mention of Rinoa.  She's allowed herself to get lost in her desire for Squall and forgot the reality that his heart belonged to her.  End of discussion.

"Yeah, you're right.  But I'm going to hold you to that, Mister Commander Sir.  By the way, where is Rinoa?"

"She's discussing her contract with Headmaster Cid," said Squall.  "Technically, Zell, Selphie and I are still under her command as our client until Timber is liberated.  They're probably talking about the political situation in Galbadia."

Squall chuckled.  He felt better.  He was going to try to make peace with everyone, now that he'd finally found peace with himself.  Most importantly, he'd wanted to make friends with Quistis, because he'd learned through Rinoa just how much the things he'd done had hurt Quistis.

_Funny_, thought Squall, _a few days ago I would never have cared what anyone else thought about me or if I hurt their feelings.  Rinoa really _has_ changed me for the better._

Quistis swiped her hand across her forehead, and felt a slight wave of dizziness and she staggered back a little. Squall rushed forward and caught her, one arm behind her back, the other grabbing her arm.  "Quistis!  Are you okay?"

Quistis shook her head to clear the cobwebs, and found that she was being held by Squall.  Her heart skipped a beat.  She didn't know if she wanted to faint or grab his collar and kiss him.  Instead, she just looked into his eyes and said, "Yes, I'm fine."

"I'm taking you to the infirmary," he said.

"I don't need to go to the infirmary, I'm perfectly all right."

"Just how long have you been training?"

Quistis thought for a second, and said "Oh, about eight and a half hours now."

"Eight and a half _hours_!  And you haven't eaten?  Come on, I'm taking you back to your room."

"No, I'm fine…"

"You won't be able to fight if you can't even stand up.  I'm taking you back, and I'll get you something to eat."  Squall picked her up so she was standing straight and put her arm around his neck.  He cast a Curaga spell to help give her enough energy to walk to her room.

"I can walk, young man.  Commander or not, don't forget that I'm still older and more experienced than you," she said in more of a condescending tone than she would have liked.  She took her arm from his neck and stood straight up, and managed to walk on her own.

They were fortunately able to avoid any battles on the way out of the training center.  Quistis and Squall walked side-by-side, with Squall ready to catch her if she had another faint spell.  Garden students and staff alike watched as the two highly decorated SeeDs walked together toward the dorms.  Squall looked normal, but Quistis looked totally disheveled, with her hair in disarray and her face ashen and eyes droopy.  None of them knew she'd spent all morning in the training center alone.

When they finally got to her dorm room, Squall saw her inside and sat her down on her bed.  He then left for the cafeteria, saying that the hot dogs were probably long gone by now, but they'd probably still have something good.

Quistis smiled and gave him a quiet thanks.  When he'd left and closed her door, she lay down on her twin bed and gazed at the ceiling.

_Squall really has changed_, she thought.  _Rinoa took the one part of him that nobody liked, his standoffish personality, and turned it around.  Everything else is the same, everything that I…_

She had to admit it to herself…

_… fell in love with._

She stood up reluctantly, her aching and tired body not wanting to respond.  She began to undress and prepare for a nice hot shower.  As she undressed, she looked outside.  Garden had returned to its original home, the fields of Balamb.  It must have landed while she was training; she didn't notice.

Sighing, she finished removing her clothes and headed for the shower.  As she cleaned up, she thought about everything that had happened, and she didn't know what to do.  She was madly in love with Squall, but she also helped get him together with Rinoa.  Why?  Maybe he just seemed…happier…with her, and she wanted him to be happy.

Quistis rolled around all sorts of thoughts through her head.  Suppose she just jumped into Squalls arms when he came with her lunch and told her how much she loved him.  _Yeah, that would be pretty pathetic._

_Oh shit_, she thought.  _He's probably back by now!_

She jumped out of the shower, quickly wrapped a towel around herself, and went to the door, hoping to see someone on the other side.  Instead, she saw a tray on the floor, with a potpie, some steamed vegetables, and a glass of ice water.  From the look of the droplets on the water glass, it hadn't been there long.  He hadn't waited for her longer than a minute.

_Oh, well.  He's busy, after all.  He is the Garden Commander.  Probably has some commanding to do._

She picked up the tray, brought it inside, and closed her door with a kick from her bare foot.  She was still dripping wet, so she decided to dry off a little before she ate her first meal of what had already been a long day.


	3. Chapter 2: Crazy Little Thing Called

Disclaimer:  SquareSoft owns Final fantasy and all related characters.  I wrote this for fun, and am making no money from it.  I borrowed the title from the song "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen (who may have licensed it from someone else, I don't know).  Again, I don't own the song, I just think it fit the chapter J

Chapter 2:  Crazy Little Thing Called…

Scene: Deling City

Two Months Later

Quistis sat in her room in the Galbadia Hotel.  She just sat there on the bed, looking in the mirror, and listening to the sounds of the city.  She looked tired.  Not necessarily physically, because she was at her peak fitness.  She was emotionally drained, however.

The past couple months had been whirlwind.  After the death of Vinzer Deling and the abdication of Edea, Galbadia had been left without a strong ruler.  There had been rumors of a military takeover, and that the military had broken off into several factions, taking control of Galbadia's different occupied territories.  The last part of the rumor, sadly, was somewhat true.

A Galbadian unit near Winhill had decided to attempt capture of the small, out-of-the-way town.  Squall and Headmaster Cid had decided to use it as a field exam, even though it was only a few weeks since the Dollet exam, because they felt there was a dire need for SeeDs in the wake of Galbadia's political chaos.  War could erupt any second, and every nation would probably be calling for SeeD's help.

It was shortly before that exam that Rinoa had decided to become a SeeD.  She was a little old to start, but she successfully argued with Cid that she had about as much, if not more, skill with combat, magic, and GFs.  He allowed her to take a written exam, for which she studied furiously and passed, and the latest field exam, which she also passed, with much higher marks than even Quistis expected.  Rinoa had become a SeeD.

Squall hadn't been too keen on the idea. Being the knight in shining armor that he is, he had wanted to keep her safe from all the dangers that SeeDs can face on a regular basis.  Hell, he'd spent the previous few weeks saving her life from Edea, Adel, and from floating away into space.  But he was as surprised as anyone how well she followed orders, faced danger with determination, and ensured the safety of her comrades.

_She's become a SeeD.  Perhaps she did it so she could be closer to him_, thought Quistis.  _Either way, she's damn good, and I feel comfortable putting my life in her hands._

Quistis adjusted her glasses.  Her eyes had gotten too tired of the contacts, so her optician had told her to keep them out for a week or so and give her eyes time to rest.  _You know_, she thought, _Irvine was right.  My glasses really do make me look pretty._

Quistis, Rinoa, and Selphie had spent the last week, from almost immediately after the Winhill exam, as diplomatic guards for the Southern Country ambassador, as she met with Galbadia's new interim president, General Caraway.  The negotiations were successful and finished early, so they were allowed to spend one last night at Deling City before heading back to Garden.  It had been an uneventful assignment, since Galbadia Proper had become pretty stable, and Cid probably thought they could use a nice, easy assignment to relieve the stress of the last few weeks.  He was right.

She heard a knock at her door.  She got up and padded over to it in stocking feet.  When she opened it, she saw Rinoa's smiling face and happily waving hand.  "Hey, Quisty!"  She had changed out of her uniform and was in her favorite cream-colored evening skirt, as if she'd planned to go out.

"Hey Rinny, come on in!"  As jealous as Quistis felt toward Rinoa, she couldn't help but love the girl.  She was always so happy and always had something nice to say.  She was a lot like Selphie, but a little less hyper and more adult.  

Rinoa came in and noticed Quistis' bag packed on the bed.  "Ready to go already?" she asked.

"Yeah, well, I didn't have much else to do besides watch TV," said Quistis.

"Aww," said Rinoa, "you sound tired.  Too bad, I was going to see if you and Selphie would want to go have some fun."

Quistis perked up at that.  She could use a good girls' night out.  "Why not?"

"Hee hee!  Great!  Let's get you into something nice!"  Rinoa went up to Quistis' bag and ruffled through it, disrupting Quistis' orderly packing.  Quistis just smiled, sighed, and shook her head.

"Here you go," said Rinoa, pulling out a knee-length blue and gold skirt with a strappy top.  "Good for a night on the town?"

"Sure, Rinny.  Forgot I had that in there.  But I didn't bring any evening shoes to wear, just my boots."

Rinoa pursed her lips and looked at Quistis' feet.  "Hmmm…You're about my size, I think, maybe a little bigger.  Hang on…"

Rinoa sprinted back to her room, and was back before Quistis could follow her.  "Here, try these on Quisty," said Rinoa, handing her a pair of gold strappy high heels.  "They always were a little big on me."

Quistis slipped off her socks and slid her bare feet into the shoes.  They felt great on her, and fit very well.

"What do you think?" said Quistis, modeling them.

"Perfect!" said Rinoa and Selphie at the same time.  Rinoa and Quistis both looked at Selphie, who had just come into the room.

"You guys were making so much noise I figured something was up.  You going out?" she asked.

"Yep, and we want you to come, if you want," said Rinoa.

"Really?!  Yaaay!!!" said Selphie.  "I'll be right back!"  She ran back to her room to change.

Rinoa then turned to Quistis and said, "Now we have to do something with your hair.  Right now it's saying 'schoolmarm,' but when I'm done with it, it'll say 'hunk magnet!'"

Quistis giggled in spite of herself. This was the kind of thing she'd never had the opportunity to do before, and she was having so much fun already.  Rinoa pulled Quistis' hair out of the bun she usually wore on top of her head.  Her normally straight hair came down in curls, and with a little of Rinoa's magic with the hotel shampoo, she'd given Quistis a hairdo that made her do a double-take in the mirror.

She quickly changed into her blue and gold skirt, and looked at herself and Rinoa in the mirror.  Just then, Selphie came in wearing her own red and black dress, and they all gave themselves a good look in the mirror.

"We're gonna knock 'em dead," said Quistis.

"Boo-yaka!" replied Selphie.  They all locked up their rooms and headed downstairs to start their fun evening.

*

The three SeeDs had a lot of fun.  They went to a few dance clubs, danced with a few of the good-looking guys that had come in to escape the real world for a short while.  Quistis was surprised to see Rinoa dance with a few of the guys, but she looked more into having fun than trying to pick any of the guys up.

_Good.  If she did anything to hurt Squall_, thought Quistis, _I'd kill her._

After a few dances at the second club, the convened at the bar to have a few drinks.  Since the drinking age in Galbadia was 16, they were all able to get drinks.

Quistis mentioned to Rinoa how much fun she was having, and noticed how much fun Rinoa seemed to be having dancing with _other_ guys.  Rinoa just laughed it off and said, "Sometimes a dance is just a dance, Quisty.  My heart always belongs to Squall.  He's a much better dancer than these guys, anyway."

Quistis gave a half laugh as she thought, _I wouldn't know_.  She started feeling a familiar pain in her heart again.  But instead of wallowing in it, she had a couple more drinks and allowed Selphie to pull her back out to the dance floor to hunt some more cute guys.

They spent the rest of the evening dancing and drinking, with Quistis doing more drinking than the other two.  When they'd finally decided they'd had enough (and only a few hours before they had to leave for their train back to Balamb), they said their goodbyes to the disappointed guys and headed back on foot to the Galbadia Hotel.  Quistis seemed to have slightly more trouble walking than either Rinoa or Selphie, but was able to stay on her own two feet.

When they finally got back to the hotel, they were all laughing, talking about the different guys and basically just reflecting on their good time.  They were shushed by the concierge as they approached the elevator, so they all shushed each other, then broke out into giggles.

When they got back to their rooms, Selphie said her goodnights and went into her room.  Rinoa helped Quistis, more than a little tipsy, get back into her room.

When they got there, Quistis stepped out of her shoes and glided (as well as a drunk person can) toward the bed and sat down.

"Y'ok, Quisty?" asked Rinoa.

"Ya, shur," sad Quistis.  Both broke out into another giggling fit.

Quistis lay back on her bed and sighed.  "Ya know, Rinny, thish is the mosht fun I've had in a looong time."

  
Rinoa walked over and sat on the bed with Quistis.  "Ya looked like ya needed it."  She grinned at Quistis, who turned her head to look at her.

Quistis sighed again, "Rinny, I love you.  Yer, like, the best friend I've evrr had.  I can just be myself around you, I don't have to be, like, Instructor Trepe all the time."

Rinoa smiled and said, "Yeah, you helped me a lot too.  I never got a chance to thank you for everything you did for me, even giving me a kick in the pants when I needed it."

They broke out into a quick giggling fit again.  When Quistis caught her breath, she said, "I really gotta tell ya something Rinny.  I say this because I love you so much: I hate you."

"Huh?" said Rinoa, her grin beginning to melt away.

"You took the only guy I was ever in love with, and made him open up for you.  He's only got eyes for you.  I love you so much for that and I hate you."  Quistis bit her lower lip, not surprised that it was numb.  She'd said it.  Couldn't take it back now.  She felt her eyes begin to water.

"Oh, Quisty," said Rinoa.  She didn't know what to say.  Quistis was her friend, and she was sure she didn't mean what she was saying, that it was the cocktails talking.

Quistis began to sob quietly.  "I j-just feel like I'm never going to find someone who loves me, not just like a friend, but someone that'll spend the rest of their life with me, make love to me, and have a family with me."

"Oh, Quisty," repeated Rinoa.  She wiped away a couple tears from Quistis' eyes.  

Quistis took her hand and gripped it firmly.  "Promise me," said Quistis, "promise me that you'll make him happy.  Please promise me."

Rinoa felt tears begin to sting her eyes.  She felt so sorry for her friend, the experienced soldier that was breaking down right in front of her.

"I promise," said Rinoa.  "I promise that you'll be happy too.  Someday you'll find the right man that'll sweep you off your feet.  Or maybe you'll sweep him off his, however you want it."

Quistis giggled and held Rinoa's hand to her cheek.  "Oh, Rinny, that's why I love ya.  Yer always so nice an ye jes…gr…fn…" Quistis faded off.

Rinoa shook her head slightly and smiled as her friend fell asleep.  She too her hand out of Quistis' soft grip, and tried pulling her friend further up on the bed, so she could tuck her in.

Once she'd gotten Quistis more or less tucked in for the night, she walked to the door and switched off the light.

"I promise, Quisty," she said quietly, as she left the room and latched the door.

*

The next morning the phone rang, waking Quistis up with a slight headache and a stiff body.  She remembered that they had gone out last night, and that they'd had fun, but no specifics came to mind.  She must have just stayed up too late.

She picked up the phone and heard the bored-sounding voice of a young man, "This is your 6 AM wake-up call."

Quistis looked at the clock by her bed.  6:30.  "Thanks" she said, and hung up the phone.

She got up out of bed, realizing that she was still in the skirt she wore last night.  She slipped out of it and slid into the shower, hoping it would help ease the ache in her head.  She turned on the water, got into the shower, and as she washed up, she tried to remember the evening.

She remembered a lot of dancing, and now that she thought of it, there was some drinking, too.  She'd never drunk that much before; that was probably why she felt hung over now.  She wasn't too sure how they all got back here, but she thought she remembered Rinoa being there in her room afterward.  They talked a little, and…

_Oh my God!_

Quistis burst out of the shower, her hair soaking wet and dripping as it hung from her head.  She threw a towel over herself and rushed out her door, over to Rinoa's room.

A couple that was leaving early saw her in her towel rushing to the other's room and knocking it frantically.  The male half of the couple especially had a hard time looking away from her, until his mate grabbed his ear and dragged him down the hall in the opposite direction.

"Just a sec," came a sleepy voice from inside the room.  When Rinoa came to the door, her hair was disheveled and eyes droopy, like she'd just woken from a deep sleep.

"Rinny…" started Quistis, trying to find the words to express her shame and sorrow.

"Quisty?" said Rinoa, dressed in a pair of satin pajamas, still disoriented from waking so suddenly.

"Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure," said Rinoa, just now realizing that her friend was dripping wet, wearing only a hotel bath towel.

Quistis stepped into the room and Rinoa closed the door.  Quistis stayed turned away from Rinoa as she tried to find the right words.

"Quisty, it's kind of early, isn't it?  Don't we have until oh-eight-hundred to catch the train back to Balamb?"

"Rinny, I…" started Quistis.  She felt so ashamed at this moment she felt she could curl up and die.  The hangover didn't help.

"Quisty, what?" asked Rinoa, somewhat confused.

Quistis turned around quickly and seized Rinoa in a tight hug.  She squeezed her eyes tightly as she, still soaking wet, held her smaller friend tightly.  Rinoa just grunted with surprise.

"Rinny, I am so, so sorry!  I didn't mean it!"

For a second, Rinoa wasn't sure what Quistis meant, until the last ten minutes before she had gone to sleep came back to her.  So that's what her dream had been about…

"Quisty, it's ok," said Rinoa.

"No, it's not, Rinny," said Quistis.  She loosened her embrace, but still held Rinoa close.  "I said some things I didn't mean, that I never meant to say to you.  I take it all back.  I didn't mean any of it."

Rinoa patted Quistis' back.  Sighing, she said, "Actually, I believe you did."

"Huh?" said Quistis, as she pulled away to look Rinoa in the face.

"At least the part about being in love with Squall, I think you meant it."

Quistis stammered for a second, trying to find the right words.  Then, ashamedly, she said, "Yeah, I guess I did mean that part."

"It's ok," said Rinoa, trying to soothe her friend.  "I mean, you guys have known each other for most of your lives, for longer than you can even remember.  And Squall is a very attractive man, and really loveable when you get past the chip on his shoulder."

"I guess," hesitated Quistis, "that I am a little jealous of you, because you were able to get him to do in a couple weeks what I'd tried to do for a couple years: get him to open up."

"Well," said Rinoa, "it wasn't that easy."  She let go of Quistis and went over to sit on the unmade bed.  She signaled Quistis to follow her and do the same, which Quistis did.

Rinoa continued, "I had some help from the fact that we were in an endless string of life-and-death battles, and the I saved him from dying somewhere lost in time."

Quistis crooked her head slightly, drinking it all in.  "Well, he did love you before that, he just couldn't admit it to anyone, especially himself.  He was so overwhelmed by it, but at the same time, trying to be the new leader of the people he'd known and followed his whole life, that I think it just put him into overload.  I saw the hurt in his eyes after he'd let you go to be sealed up by the Esthar soldiers, after the lunar cry.  But he didn't want to make your decision for you, and he thought whatever you decided was the right thing, even if it meant he'd never get to see you again.  When he realized that you had probably made your decision under duress too, he immediately rushed off like, well, like your knight."

Rinoa smiled at that, and felt her cheeks go a little flush.  She had tried to be normal after the whole debacle with Ultimecia, but the truth that she was now the sorceress had still haunted her.  Yet her friends never treated her any differently, even though, if she'd so chosen, she could destroy them all very easily.

She shook that idea out of her head, getting a slightly confused look from Quistis.  "Well, from what you've told me, he carried me, on foot, all the way from Fisherman' Horizon to Esthar.  But I think that if you were in that situation, Quisty, he would have done the same for you.  He may not have said it, but he cares a great deal for you.  Like a sister."

"Yeah," said Quistis.  She could remember once telling Squall how she felt like a sister to him.  Maybe that was why he was never interested in her.

"Anyway," said Rinoa, "I didn't take what you said seriously, so no apologies are necessary.  If you're really worried about it, you can get me some pain killer for this headache."

Quistis chuckled, then started laughing.  Rinoa joined in, but they both stopped and put their hands to their foreheads.  "I think I could use some too," said Quistis.  She broke open the sundries package that had been left on Rinoa's dresser, and tossed a small paper envelope to her, taking a second one for herself.

"One thing, Rinny," said Quistis.  "Please don't tell Squall."

Rinoa gave Quistis a sympathetic look.  "I won't.  I promise."

Quistis nodded and smiled.  "Time to get ready," she said as she headed back to her room. "Train leaves at oh-eight-hundred."


	4. Chapter 3: Reflections and New Beginning...

Disclaimer:  SquareSoft owns Final fantasy and all related characters.  I wrote this for fun, and am making no money from it.

Chapter 3:  Reflections and New Beginnings

Scene: Balamb Garden Chapel

One Year Later

Squall stood there at the front of the chapel, looking down the long center aisle at the white curtain drawn across the back.  He'd waited for this day for a long time, and now that it was here, he couldn't be more happy, or more nervous.

His face must have showed it, because he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders.  He looked back, and saw Zell, his best man, and Irvine, his groomsman, giving him reassuring smiles.  He gave them a half-grin, feeling kind of stupid to be so nervous, and did a thumbs-up before turning his attention back to the center aisle.

His thoughts drifted back over the past year.  Things had sure changed.

It wasn't even that long ago that Squall was considered the loner, the guy that everyone looked up to but never approached.  When he'd graduated as a SeeD, it hadn't surprised a soul, not even Seifer.

_Boy, Seifer_, thought Squall.  _I wonder where he is.  No one's seen him since the Ultimecia affair.  Headmaster Cid once mentioned him, but wouldn't go into details.  What would I do if I ever saw him again?  Is he still the knight that tried to kill us all, or was that just Ultimecia's control?_

Squall tried not to think about Seifer too much.  Though rivals their whole lives, they also each had had an understanding about each other, like comrades-in-arms, even though both had been, in the end, loners.

A musical flourish began playing.  Squall, Zell, and Irvine straightened up.  The curtain at the end of the aisle opened partway, revealing Selphie, who walked out in a wedding march, smiling more widely than he'd ever remembered.  Her bright blue and yellow dress matched the flower arrangements, and the small bouquet she carried, perfectly.

_Leave it to Selphie_, Squall thought.

Selphie hadn't been too upset at being passed over for maid of honor, because they'd promised her she could arrange the ceremony and reception.  Since throwing parties was her favorite pastime, she'd jumped at the chance.

Squall glanced over at Irvine.  He wore the same tuxedo that he and Zell had on, with a black tailcoat, but had still worn that stupid cowboy hat.  He had his hands crossed in front of him, and was wringing them slightly.

_Probably thinking about his and Selphie's wedding,_ thought Squall.  He remembered Irvine telling him last week that he intended to ask Selphie to marry him, but Zell and Quistis had convinced him to wait until after Squall and Rinoa's wedding was done.  _Didn't want Selphie getting distracted at the last minute, mused Squall._

As Selphie slowly made her way down the aisle in her wedding march, Squall reminisced about the past year.  Together, they had all fought monsters, demons, and the occasional poltergeist, and that sort of thing was almost becoming routine.

Almost.

Probably his biggest shock this past year was Rinoa enrolling as a SeeD candidate.  She had taken her case directly to Cid, and since Squall's position as Commander was only on an as-needed basis (for large SeeD deployments), he really didn't have a say.  He tried to convince her not to do it, but she, stubborn as ever, insisted.

Squall had sworn to Rinoa that he'd keep her safe, that he'd be her knight.  But he couldn't really blame her.  Here he was, out risking his life whenever SeeD deployed him, and she had to wait behind, hoping he made it back in one surviving piece.  

*

Rinoa impatiently paced the waiting room to Headmaster Cid's office.  Squall was out on another mission, killing the Demons of Bob's Cave or something.  And here she was once again, waiting on him and hoping he was ok.  _Not anymore,_ she thought.  _Things will be different from now on, whatever Squall says._

"Miss Heartilly," said Xu, sitting at her desk, looking up from her cadet rosters, "You're wearing a hole in our new carpet.  The Headmaster will be done with his meeting shortly."

Rinoa stopped and put her hands to her hips.  "Xu," she said impatiently, "you've known me for long enough now.  You can call me Rinoa."

"Okay, Rinoa," ceded Xu, "but if you keep pacing like that, you'll lose all the steam you've built up for this meeting."  Xu gave her a sly smile, which Rinoa couldn't help but return.  Rinoa had overheard that Xu was soon to receive some big promotion in the Garden network, and she was definitely getting bolder.

"You think you'll be able to convince him this time?" asked Xu.

"If there's one thing I've learned about…older adults, it's that eventually you will wear them down."

They both chuckled.  Xu, in her late twenties, had a bit of a ways to go before she considered herself anything but young.  Such was her determined optimism.

At that moment, the double doors to Cid's office opened, and out stepped three Garden Faculty members.  Rinoa strode into the office after they left, trying to avoid looking at them.  The Faculty members always wore a full robe and hood that completely covered their bodies, and that had always spooked Rinoa.  Especially considering that, at one time, they were involved in a coup to try to oust Cid from command of Garden.

She caught a glimpse of Cid shaking his head, with a frustrated half-smile on their face.  "Arrogant bastards," muttered Cid, after the Faculty members had disappeared into the elevator.  "One of these days I'll get rid of them all and put SeeDs I can trust in their place."

He gave a start as he pretended to suddenly notice Rinoa hearing him, but it was no secret to her that he didn't trust the cryptic Faculty.  After Cid had bought out the late NORG's claim to Garden, the Faculty seemed to treat Cid like a usurper of command.  She knew Cid would only keep them around until enough SeeDs had been commissioned to take over their functions.  She could only wonder what they'd do to try and stop him.

"Funny you should mention Seeds, Headmaster," said Rinoa, as the doors automatically closed behind her.

"Right, right," said Cid, gathering up his strength.  "I've gone over your petition again, and I can't say I approve of your desire to enroll as a cadet.  You know that you're still a client, don't you?"  He motioned for Rinoa to sit down in one of the plush leather seats in front of Cid's desk.  Seconds after she sat down, Cid settled into his own seat.

"Technically, yes," said Rinoa, "but it won't be much longer.  Since my…" _still can't call him Dad_… "Since Caraway took over the Galbadian government, he's pledged to liberate all of Galbadia's captured territories, including Timber.  He may have been a horrible father, but in matters of politics, he was always a man of his word."

Cid shook his head slightly.  He obviously did not have enough energy for this argument again.  "I still don't like it, Rinoa.  There are a lot of cadets that wash out of here with more experience than you in combat."

"But combat isn't everything," countered Rinoa.  "Quistis, Selphie, Zell, and Irvine can all vouch for me.  Besides, I've had more experience with GFs and magic than most of your final-year candidates.  Furthermore, Dr. Odine from Esthar has confirmed that my sorceress powers were sealed after we defeated Ultimecia.  So it's really a win-win situation for you and me.  You get a skilled fighter who already gets along with many of your best people, and I get a new home where I'm more than just a fifth wheel."

Cid rubbed his temples.  She had made several good points, and he did agree that she probably wouldn't leave Garden unless she were thrown out, which Cid wouldn't dream of doing.  Reluctantly, he sighed.

"Ok, Rinoa, ok," said Cid.  "You wore me down.  I'll have Angela in admissions get you the paperwork.  I want you to take some make-up classes in history, combat and ceremonies, calisthenics training, and I'll vouch for you to take the final written and field exams."

Rinoa jumped out of her chair.  If Cid hadn't been sitting down on the other side of his oak desk, she'd have hugged the middle-aged man.  "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!  I promise you won't regret it!"

"I'm sure I won't, my dear," said Cid.  "If you'll excuse me, though, I think I need a break.  Too much excitement for one day."

Rinoa cheerfully walked out of Cid's office, getting a congratulatory wink from Xu (who overheard Rinoa's excitement).  As she got in the elevator to go tell her friends the good news, Rinoa started humming to herself.

*

Squall smiled.  Cid had described the meeting exactly to him.  Although he disapproved at first, he decided that Rinoa really was qualified, and he had, in all honesty, hoped he could find an excuse to spend more time with her.

Selphie had reached the center of the aisle.  Irvine, trying not to miss a beat, started marching to meet her when she got three-quarters of the way toward the front.  As Squall looked at Selphie's slightly teary-eyes gaze at Irvine, he glanced around to see everyone that was there.  Most of Garden was in attendance, to see their beloved Commander's most important day since his SeeD graduation.

He noticed Headmaster Xu sitting near the aisle.  She wore her dress uniform, but her hair was done in fancy curls instead of the regular tight braid she usually kept tied around her head.  She'd been Headmaster of Trabia Garden for about seven months now, after the old Headmaster retired from too much stress during the rebuilding.  Now, Trabia Garden was probably the most advanced and luxurious Garden in the world.

Then his eyes fell on his father, Esthar President Laguna Loire.  Laguna had been watching Squall the whole time, and smiled when he saw that Squall had seen him.  Squall gave a small smile and nodded to him.  Although Laguna had worked to make amends with Squall, there was still a long way to go before Squall would truly accept him as his father.  He still felt the bitterness of being abandoned at such a young age, even though it had led to his meeting all his friends, and especially the woman he was marrying today.

Just then, he caught a flash of spiked blonde hair in the very back.  He looked again, but it was gone.  He shook his head slightly.  _No, couldn't be.  There's no way he could get into Garden_, thought Squall.  _Not after everything he did a year ago.  If he did come, it would probably be just to embarrass and try to fight me._

Squall kept looking, hoping for a better memory.  Instead, his eyes fell on President Caraway from Galbadia.  Even though Squall knew that Selphie and Irvine had decided to invite Rinoa's estranged father, he was hopeful that they'd asked him to stay out of Rinoa's sight.  Squall knew how much animosity she held toward the man, and didn't want anything to ruin this day for her.  With all the pain and tragedy she'd suffered since they knew each other, he wanted them to have just one day where everything was right.

Then, he saw Matron Edea Cramer, sitting very near to him.  She gave him a proud, motherly look and smile.  Squall returned the smile.  She had been the only mother he'd ever really known, even if he could only remember bits and pieces of the time she'd taken care of him and his friends.

Squall glanced back at Selphie and Irvine, noticing that they'd almost made it to the front of the chapel.  Selphie caught his eye, and winked at him before continuing on.  He had some trouble understanding why everyone was winking at him today.

The curtain at the back opened again, and Quistis, the maid of honor, appeared.  She, like Selphie, had on a blue and yellow dress, and carried a bouquet of yellow flowers.  Selphie had told him the name of the flowers, but he couldn't remember for the life of him what it was.  _A consequence of being a man_, he supposed.  Quistis' long golden hair was exquisitely done, probably by a professional hairdresser.  Rinoa had saved up almost all her SeeD salary since she graduated, wanting to spare no expense for their wedding.  Squall blushed slightly at the thought.

Quistis looked at Squall, not wanting to take her eyes off him.  She was so unbelievably happy for him and Rinoa that she couldn't stop the tears from filling her eyes.  And yet, she still felt that small pang every time she saw Squall, and wished for an instant that she were wearing the white dress and veil for this ceremony, with Squall as the groom.

_No_, she thought.  _This is their day_.  She would be happy for them, and do everything she could to make sure it was the best wedding such a cute couple could have, 

To Squall, Quistis looked to be even more teary-eyed than Selphie.  As she walked down the aisle, she never took her eyes off Squall.  Squall could only imagine that the woman who felt like an older sister to him was so happy for him.  For a fleeting second, he wondered what it would be like if the circumstances were different, and she were wearing the white dress and veil, with him still as the groom.

_No, Rinoa's my soul mate, and my one true love.  Besides, Quistis never felt that way about me._

When Quistis reached the center of the aisle, Zell took off, a bit too excited.  He reached her well before he should have (not that they hadn't seen him do the same at the rehearsal), and as her right arm took his left, he looked forward proudly with head held high.

Quistis shook her head slightly, rolled her eyes, and chuckled, despite herself.  Zell, Mister Energy himself, had probably worked up a nervous fury having to stand still with Squall.  Quistis looked at Squall, who was smiling at her.  He probably saw her reaction to Zell and got a kick out of it.  She gave Squall a wink, which caused a tear to roll down her right cheek.  She quickly swiped the tear away with her left hand.

Squall almost laughed out loud when he saw Quistis' reaction to Zell.  He couldn't stop smiling at it.  _If anything helped to break my tension today, that was It_, he thought.  As he thought that, Quistis winked at him, causing a tear to roll down her right cheek.  She quickly brought up her left hand to wipe it away.

_Why's everyone winking at me today_, thought Squall.  _Must be some wedding code or something.  Whatever.  Guess I'll figure it out._

As Quistis and the zealous Zell reached their places in front of the chapel, the musical flourish came to an end.  Squall waited patiently for the next movement, which seemed to take longer than needed.  _They're doing it on purpose_, he thought. _Building up the suspense.  Must be fun to torture the groom._

After what felt like an hour, the band began playing the wedding fanfare.  Squall straightened up.  This was it.

The white curtain opened.  At that moment, Squall's heart began to flutter, and his mouth dropped open.

There stood Rinoa, wearing a gown more beautiful than he could have imagined.  She told him he'd like it, but he'd never expected…

Her black hair was silky and sparkled, like the starriest of nights. In it, he could see the blue flecks of forget-me-nots, expertly adorning her.

_Something blue.  _

She carried a bouquet of pure white roses; so large it almost completely covered her hands and chest.  However, he could still see the necklace hanging from her neck, the only thing covering the skin above her dress' low bust line.  On that simple chain, she wore the replica Griever ring that Zell had made her, using Squall's own ring.

_Something borrowed._

Matron Edea had given her the veil she wore now.  The same one Edea had worn in her and Cid's wedding; it was adorned with shimmering white lace and preserved white daisies.  A thin white mesh only slightly covered Rinoa's face.

_Something old. _

On her ears, she wore the diamond earring Squall had given her last night, as an early wedding gift.  The diamonds caught the sunlight coming in from the huge windows of the chapel, and added to Rinoa's glowing radiance.

_Something new. _

Squall glanced at Headmaster Cid, whose left arm was held by Rinoa's right.  Cid had been honored to give the bride away; it was something he'd never thought he'd have a chance to do.  Squall felt a slight pinch of guilt, imagining how President Caraway would be feeling, seeing his daughter being given away by another man.  Then again, Caraway probably expected no less, as he'd resigned himself to being hated by his own daughter.

Squall's eyes went back to Rinoa.  Her eyes, also filled with tears, had never looked happier.  She gazed at Squall, and Squall swore he could hear her thoughts.

_This is the man I love.  We will spend the rest of our lives together.  God, I love him so much!_

Rinoa smiled even wider when she finished that thought.  She couldn't have imagined a happier time for her.  Squall had been so amazingly supportive of her, even when she became a SeeD against his wishes.  He had done his best to make her happy, to help her when she needed it, and to back off when she needed it.  He'd given her a sense of purpose, and a true reason for living.  She felt more tears in her eyes, and her smile widened even more, as she saw his gaze upon her.  She could almost hear his thoughts.

This is the most beautiful woman in the world.  I could never love another.  She is my life, and my reason for living.

And Squall meant it.  He swore that he would always be there for her.  He would die for her, but more importantly, he would _live_ for her.  His thoughts drifted back to the times they'd shared together.

Their dance just after his SeeD graduation.

The day they met, during his first mission, where she introduced herself to him.

How he had saved her from the lizard creatures after she'd been mesmerized by Edea, during their assassination mission.

The concert she and their friends had thrown him that night in Fisherman's Horizon.

His worry and fear for her as he carried her, unconscious, on his back for the daylong trip to Esthar.

How he had jumped out into space, without a second thought, to save her after she'd been released from Ultimecia's control.

The first time she sang to him, in the Ragnarok's cockpit.  _Eyes On Me_, by her mother, Julia Heartilly.

His rescue of her from the Esthar sealing chamber.

Their first kiss, that night after she'd rescued him from Time Compression.

His thoughts were interrupted as he realized she had reached the center of the aisle.  He started marching toward her and Cid, trying to keep an even pace.

Once he reached them, they all stopped.  Rinoa released Cid's arm as Cid gave Squall an excited handshake, with both hands.

"Congratulations, son," said Cid.  "I mean it.  I always thought of you as my son.  And I am so very proud of you."

Squall returned the double-handed handshake, and said, "Thank you, sir.  For everything."

Cid smiled and nodded.  "It's time, Squall."

Squall offered Rinoa his left arm, which she gingerly took in both hands, still supporting her bouquet in one of them.  Squall put his right hand on top of hers, and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes," Rinoa said, nodding lightly.  The couple continued down the aisle, Rinoa leaning her head against Squall's shoulder.  She had truly never been happier.

*

Twenty minutes later, they stood at the altar, having heard the chaplain's sermon about marriage, and the lifelong devotion married couples share with each other.  They had exchanged rings and vows, and were clasping each other's hands, gazing deep into each other's eyes. 

The chaplain continued, "If there is anyone that objects to the marriage of this man and this woman, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace."

No one spoke.

"Then by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss the bride."

That was the moment they'd been waiting for.  Squall and Rinoa drew themselves together in an embrace and kissed very passionately.  Their kiss was met by cheering from all corners of the chapel, especially from their friends standing with them at the altar.

After about twenty seconds, the couple separated from each other, again looking deeply into each other's eyes.  Again, they took each other's hands, and walked back down the aisle, as the chaplain said, "I now present to you, Mister and Missus Squall and Rinoa Leonhart!"

The two were met with more cheers and applause as they made their way down the aisle toward the back of the chapel.


	5. Chapter 4: Surprise Guests

Chapter 4: Surprise Guests

Scene:  The Balamb Garden Ballroom

Later That Afternoon

Zell stood up and held the microphone unsteadily.  Standing up at the head table in front of the dozens of tables set up in the ballroom, he felt quite awkward.  He just looked over the crowd, saying nothing.

"Jeez, I didn't think there'd be this many people here!" said the expression on his face.

Squall and Rinoa looked at each other with amused looks on their faces.  _Who'd have thought?  Mister Energy Zell has stage fright!_

After a few more seconds of silence, someone shouted from one of the tables in the back, "Speak up, we can't hear you!"

That caused nearly everyone in the ballroom to erupt in laughter.  Quistis, trying unsuccessfully to stop laughing at her friend, tugged on his arm and signaled him to give her the microphone.  Zell shook his head adamantly.

"Okay, okay, everyone, okay," said Zell.  "I, uh, wow, uh, anyway, I just want to say congratulations, uh, to Squall and Rinny, uh, Rinoa.  They, uh, really love each other…"

Quistis covered her face with her left hand as she tugged at Zell's sleeve with her right.

"No, Quisty, I can do this," Zell said, right into the microphone.   The laughter was starting to rise again, but Zell tried to speak over it.  "They're both really cool, and, us, we fought in a lot of battles together.  And I'd feel safe, uh, leaving myself in either of their hands, uh, not literally, of course…"

Squall rubbed the back of his head.  _You're dying up there, Dincht._

"Uh, anyway, I want to say, uh, congratulations, and, uh, lots of happy years together, okay?"  With that, Zell sat down quickly and handed the microphone over to Quistis.

A few people started clapping, then a few more, and seconds later, the entire ballroom roared with applause.  Zell turned to Squall and Rinoa and gave them a thumbs-up.

"Thanks, Zell," said Rinoa.

"You ought to try being a DJ on the side," said Squall.

"R-really?  Ya mean it?" asked Zell.

Squall and Rinoa just laughed and took each other's hand.

As Quistis finished clapping, she stood up and cleared her throat.  That brought silence to the ballroom.

Squall thought, _Hey, she can still quiet a room.  I ought to get Cid to reinstate her Instructor license._

Quistis smiled at the attention she'd gotten, and started, "Anyone who know Squall knows he's a man of few words, and doesn't like to talk about himself.  Fortunately, I'm up here to talk about him all you want."

That got some laughter from the crowd.

"I've known Squall for as long as I can remember.  In all that time, he's been like a little brother to me.  He kept to himself a lot.  Ok, heh heh," she chuckled, "he _always_ kept to himself.  But he was a role model for everyone that knew him, and he was dedicated and loyal to his friends and colleagues.

"Then, after he and Rinoa met, I started to see a change in him.  She brought out the best in our Squall, and seemed to fill a void he had in his life.  I can't think of a more perfect couple," Quistis' eyes started to tear, "and I'm very proud to be their friend.  Squall, Rinoa," she choked back a small sob, "I wish you all the best life has to offer, and many happy years together, building your family.  I love you both!"

Rinoa stood up and gave Quistis a hug.  "Thanks, Quisty.  You're the best friend I've ever had."

Squall stood and embraced her also, whispering to her, "Thanks, Quist.  You've always been a good friend, even when I wasn't."

That made Quistis smile even wider than she had been before.  She wiped a tear from her cheek and gave Squall a small kiss on his.

At that moment, Selphie stood up and cheered.  Everyone at the head table followed, shortly before the whole ballroom started applauding Quistis.  When the cheers died down, Selphie signaled to the DJ, "Let's boogie down!"

Suddenly, wild dance music began to blare over the speakers.  Selphie grabbed Irvine's arm and physically dragged him out onto the dance floor.  She started dancing, and poked him to get him to do the same.

As more people started heading for the dance floor, Squall said something to Rinoa.  She couldn't hear over the loud music, and said, "What?"

Squall said more loudly, "I said, isn't the dancing supposed to be later?"

Rinoa shrugged.  "I think Selphie decided to improvise!" she shouted.  "Come on, I guess this is our first dance!"

She grabbed his uniform sleeve and pulled him out to the dance floor.  They started fast dancing together, although neither really knew what they were doing.  SeeD training hadn't prepared him for _this_.

"Oops!" said Selphie.  She did the throat-slash gesture to the DJ, indicating she wanted the music stopped.

As quickly as the music had filled the ballroom, it disappeared.  People who were dancing stopped suddenly, sending questioning looks to the DJ.  The DJ just shrugged and gestured to Selphie.

Selphie said to everyone, "Sorry, tee hee!  I forgot, the first dance has to be slow and romantic-like."  She signaled the DJ again, who cued up _Eyes On Me_, sung by Julia Heartilly.

Squall and Rinoa smiled at each other.  He offered his hand, which she accepted.  They moved together, Squall's hands at Rinoa's waist, and hers at his shoulders.  They gazed into each other's eyes.

Gradually, other couples began to slow dance too.  Selphie and Irvine.  Zell and his girlfriend from the library.  Even Cid and Edea.  Soon, the dance floor was filled with couples, all making sure to give the bride and groom enough room for their first dance.

Quistis watched the dancing and suddenly felt very alone.  _Is this what Squall used to feel like, alone in a crowd?_

Quistis looked around for any guy that happened to be alone.  Dammit, she was going to dance with _somebody_.  As she scanned the sparse group of people that weren't dancing, she caught sight of a very familiar, very unwelcome face.

_What the…?  What the hell is_ he _doing here?_

Quistis strode off to the table in the back of the ballroom, near the exit to the corridor.  Sitting there, looking as smug as ever in his overcoat and spiky blonde hair, was Seifer Almasy, former SeeD candidate and Knight of Ultimecia.

Seifer saw her coming, and made no effort to stand up or otherwise physically acknowledge her.  When she got to him, she just stood there, her hands at her waist.  Seifer took a drink from the wine glass in front of him, but did not look at her.

Quistis said, in her sternest voice, "What are you doing here, Almasy?  Planning to cause trouble?"

Seifer just smirked and said, "Good to see you too, Instructor.  Looking nice today, I might add."

Quistis repeated herself, even more impatiently, "_What_ are _you_ doing here?"

Seifer looked in her eyes, showing that smug sense of victory he'd had every time he'd managed to push someone else's buttons.  "I have a right to be here."

Quistis narrowed her eyes.  "Like hell you do, traitor.  I swear to you, if you're here to cause trouble…"

"Stop sweating it, Instructor.  All Garden staff and students were invited.  That includes me."  He smiled at her and leaned back in his chair.  "Besides, I have a score to settle with Mister Commander."

Cid, who had seen Quistis approaching to Seifer, had walked up to them and overheard their conversation.  He put his hand on her shoulder and said, "He's right."  Quistis turned to him, a puzzled look on his face.  "Edea pled his case, that he was under Ultimecia's control, and not acting of his own accord.  Because Seifer still had six months left to graduate, I saw no reason to not give him one more chance," he gave Seifer a strict look, "_Provided he causes no trouble._"

"I won't let him ruin Squall and Rinoa's wedding, sir," said Quistis, gritting her teeth.

"You are right, of course," agreed Cid.  "Seifer, you should go back to your dorm.  I understand all students were invited, but because of your recent history with Squall and with this Garden, I think it best you not show yourself until tomorrow.  I'll have someone bring dinner to you."

Seifer's face went from grinning triumph to bitter anger.  Quistis, on the other hand, smiled in triumph at the cadet.

"Fine," said Seifer, standing up.  "Who wants to stay at this dull waste of time you call a 'party', anyway."  He stormed out in a huff, nearly knocking over a student loitering in the doorway.  

Quistis turned to Cid, who just looked down and shook his head.  "What was I thinking?  I should have talked to him about this earlier."

Cid and Quistis headed back to the dance floor, just catching the end of the first song.  When the music ended, everyone turned to Rinoa and Squall and clapped for them.  Rinoa waved a _thank you_ to everyone, and Squall rubbed the back of his head shyly.

Suddenly, the fast-paced song that had started playing earlier blasted from the speakers again.  Everyone laughed, and began dancing to it.  Squall and Rinoa danced together for a few moments, until she caught a glimpse of someone in the crowd.  

_Oh my God, _he's_ here.  They invited _him_?_  Rinoa wasn't sure what she should feel.  Should she be glad he came, or did he do it to further his political status?

_His daughter did just marry the Commander of SeeD, after all_, she thought.  She broke away from the dancing crowd and headed toward her father, President Caraway.  Squall followed, trying to keep up with her quick pace.

"Hello, Mister President," Rinoa said coolly.  "I'm honored that you could come to our humble ceremony."

Caraway smiled at her.  "Good to see you too, sweetheart.  Commander Leonhart."

Squall nodded at him and replied, "Mister President."  _Oh shit_, Squall thought.  _They were supposed to ask him to stay out of sight._

"How are things in Deling City, Mister President?" asked Rinoa.

Caraway nodded at her.  "Very well.  The citizens have been very supportive of our decision to withdraw from the territories we had invaded under Deling.  And, Parliament is pushing to rename Deling City back to Galbadia City.  Good for patriotism."

Rinoa could just hear trumpets playing "Cactus Jack", the Galbadian national anthem, behind Caraway's words.

"Well, enjoy yourself, and help yourself to some hors d'ouvres," said Rinoa, starting to turn away.

"Wait a second, Rinoa, please," said Caraway, touching her elbow.  Rinoa shook his hand off and turned back to him, waiting for his canned reply.

"Rinoa, the least you could do is thank me for being here.  I'm taking a risk, you know.  SeeD still isn't very popular with the people of Galbadia.  No matter how evil Deling was, they all still lost sons and daughters during the Second Sorceress War, in which SeeD was our enemy."

"Oh, I'm _sorry_, Mister President," said Rinoa sarcastically.  She took his hand and placed it on her forehead, as if asking for a blessing.  "Thank you _so much_ for risking your political career to come to our lowly Garden and see your only daughter be married to the Commander of the elite force that single-handedly saved the world a year ago.  The same force that _you_, by the way, hired to assassinate Galbadia's leader.  Is that adequate, your _lordship_?"  Her glare shot daggers straight into his eyes.

Caraway shook his head and sighed.  "Rinoa, you are my princess.  You always will be.  I came because I wanted to see you one last time, because I know you probably won't come to see me ever again."

"Probably right," said Rinoa.  "If you'll excuse me, Mister President."  She turned away again, but Caraway held onto her hand.

"Just one more thing.  I wanted to apologize for not being there when you needed me.  You've done very well for yourself, and I'm proud of you.  And, I wanted to wish you good luck and happiness in your life."  Caraway released her hand.  

Without turning back to him, Rinoa said, "Thank you…father."  Then, she walked away, back toward the dance floor.

Squall started to follow her, but Caraway grabbed his arm.  "Take care of her, you hear?" he said to Squall.  "She may not understand, but she's still my precious jewel.  Give her a good life."

"She and I will make one together, Mister President," said Squall.  Once Caraway released his arm, Squall followed his wife back to the party.

Squall caught up to her just as she reached the last table before the dance floor.  He took her hand, and she stopped walking, turned around, and hugged him.

"He does care for you, even though he has a funny way of showing it."

Rinoa looked Squall in her eyes, all the pain from them gone.  "I don't want to talk about my father, 'k?  This is our day.  Let's make the best one we can."

Squall definitely could not argue.  Rinoa led him back onto the dance floor, where they caught the last few seconds of the fast dance before another slow song started.

*

Several hours later, the reception was winding down.  Squall sat at one of the large round tables with Zell, Irvine, Cid, Laguna, Kiros, and Ward, discussing past events and plans for the future.  The mute Ward was able to join in the conversation using a vocoder, which Esthar's scientists had designed at Laguna's request.  Most of the guests, those not family or personal friends of Squall or Rinoa, had already left, so the ballroom was nearly empty of people.

As he listened to the conversation, Squall reflected on the day's events.  He was now married to the most wonderful woman he had ever known, or could ever hope to know.  She'd made him feel complete.  Yet now, after the spectacular dinner, cake cutting, gift opening, and photograph taking, he felt no different today than he had yesterday.  Marriage felt no different than being single.

_Maybe it's more of a gradual thing_, he thought.  _We'll probably both spend a lot of time getting used to parts of each other we don't usually see.  Like sleeping together every night.  Making meals for each other.  Having children._

He felt nervous about that last part.  He'd never really considered being a father before.  Then again, until he'd been with Rinoa, he'd never considered being a husband.  But being a father…

Would I be a good one?  I know I'm not really good at opening up to people.  Would my children love me, and would I remember to show them I love them?

"Squall?  Squall?  Earth to Squall?"  Zell snapped his finger in front of Squall's face,

Squall suddenly returned to the present.  "Huh?  What?"

"You've been sitting there for like ten minutes, not saying anything, man."  Zell looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"He's just thinking about later tonight, that's all," said Irvine, giving a wink.  Squall wasn't surprised to hear that comment come out of Irvine, but he just rubbed the back of his head with his hand.

That gesture got Zell, Irvine, Laguna, and Kiros teasing him about wedding night jitters and making other male sexual jokes.  Ward just laughed along, and Cid pushed his glassed up his nose and blushed slightly.

Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, Edea, and Ellone were sitting at another table, their shoes all piled up next to the table.  They were having a conversation similar to the one the men had originally been having, about where they'd been, and where they were going.  Quistis, Selphie, Edea, and Ellone talked a lot about the orphanage, with Edea and Ellone filling in most of the details for the two younger women.  Quistis and Selphie were very interested in filling in their gaps in memory.

Rinoa only half-listened to the conversation.  Instead, she watched Squall, sitting at the men's table.  The other men were talking up a storm, but Squall seemed to just sit there, staring out into space.  

_What are you thinking, dear?_ she thought.

She felt Squall's introspection into how he didn't feel any different being married than he did before being married.  She also felt his wonders about how good a father he'd be.

_Oh, Squall, you're going to be a great father_, thought Rinoa, wanting to send some more self-confidence.

Just then, she saw Zell put his hand in front of Squall's face.  Squall suddenly took notice of the other men.  She heard Irvine say something, after which Squall rubbed the back of his head, like he did when he was feeling shy and didn't know what to say.  That got most of the other men going.  She noticed Cid seemed to become as embarrassed as Squall, which she thought was funny.  She thought of Cid as kind of old school, and very reserved when it comes to sexual matters.  It wasn't her business, but she imagined that Edea had had a time getting him out of his shell.

"Oh, no, Rin, I'm sorry," said Quistis, as if she'd just realized Rinoa was there.  "Here we are talking like you're not even here.  This is your reception."

"Hmm?  Oh, it's ok, Quisty.  I'm just…thinking."

"Yeah, I see," said Selphie, giving her a wide, knowing smile.  "Thinking about your knight, huh?"

"Yeah," said Rinoa, smiling.  "I just can't believe that we're married.  It's a wonderful feeling."

"Well, don't forget there will be hardships, child," said Edea, "but I can tell how much you mean to each other, and your love is a bond that nothing can break."

"Yes, exactly," said Ellone.  "You found your soul mate in Squall, and I know you'll have many happy years together."

Rinoa gave her an anticipative look.  "Do you mean, you know…?"

Ellone held up her hands.  "No, no, I haven't looked at your future or anything like that.  I can just see it in the way you look at each other.  You're both in it for the long haul."

Rinoa placed her cheek in her left hand, her elbow resting on the table.  "Thanks, Elle.  I know that we're right for each other.  I've known it ever since we met, even though I had to nudge _him_ a bit.  Then nudge him a bit more.  And finally hit him in the head with a sledgehammer.  Then, he realized we were meant for each other."

The other women laughed.  Rinoa loved having such good friends.  She'd fought alongside them on the battlefield, shared the good times and bad, and they had come out on top.  She looked at Quistis for a second, and remembered how she had told Rinoa that she was in love with Squall.  It had been the better part of a year since then, and Rinoa was glad she had helped Quistis get over her crush.  After all, she wanted to be a good friend, but she didn't plan on sharing her man with anyone else, beyond friendship.  She knew she was allowed to be selfish about that.

Quistis still felt that slight pang inside her every time she thought about how she had never had the chance to be with Squall.  Yet she couldn't answer the one question that haunted her:  Was it a missed opportunity, or one that was never meant to be?  When she saw Rinoa and Squall together, she imagined she could se herself in the picture in Rinoa's place.  Yet, she couldn't realistically see how she and Squall could ever have gotten together.

Until Squall and Rinoa became a couple, Squall treated everyone like dirt.  He snubbed everyone, especially me.  God, I don't think he realizes how much he hurt me that night.  I'd lost my teaching license.  I thought my world was over, except for the faint glimmer of hope that Squall would see me in a different light when he and I were professional peers.  I'd hoped, maybe there was a chance I could get inside that guarded heart, and he would love me as much as I truly loved him.  But when I lost my higher rank, all he did was stop treating me with the respect one gives an upper-ranking officer.

_Why, Squall?  What had I done wrong to be hated so much by you?  Damn, I think I'm just lonely.  I shouldn't be thinking about his kind of thing today.  It's their _wedding day_!  I should be happy for them. I _am_ happy for them. But I can't help but feel sorry for myself._

"You two are a match made in heaven," said Quistis, giving Rinoa a slightly forced smile.  "I couldn't imagine either of you with anyone else."

"Yeah," said Selphie.  "You really turned Mister Doom-And-Gloom around!  You made him into a nice guy.  Who would've thought?"

Rinoa smiled at her friends.  She felt truly blessed.

A second later, she stifled a yawn.  "Oh my," she said.  "I think Squall and I had better get going.  We don't want to oversleep tonight and miss our train tomorrow."

"Yeah, it is getting pretty late," said Selphie.  "I think everyone else wandered home."

Rinoa stood up, found her shoes amongst the pile next to the table, and carried them in her hand as she walked stocking footed toward the men's table.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, but I must retrieve my husband.  We have an early train to catch tomorrow in Balamb."  Rinoa took Squall's arm and picked him up out of his seat.

"Well, guys," said Squall, "she's right.  We'll see you all when we get back."

The men all stood up, and were joined by a group of stocking footed women, all coming to see the bride and groom off.  They all exchanged hugs and handshakes, where appropriate.  When it came Quistis' turn to say goodbye to Squall, she hugged him tightly, and whispered to him, "Show her some real magic every day that you're together.  Not the stuff we draw from monsters.  I mean the magic of love."

Squall was slightly confused that Quistis was giving marriage advice, considering she'd never had a relationship that he could remember.  However, he attributed it to her being close to Rinoa, and to her understanding what a woman needs from a relationship.  "I will, Quist," he responded.

_I love you Squall_, she thought as she broke the hug.  _Damn me.  I really hate myself sometimes._

When Squall and Laguna shook hands, Laguna drew him into a hug.  Squall, surprised by the move from the father he'd never known, returned it as best as he could.

"I'm proud of you, son," whispered Laguna.  "I want to make things right between us, somehow.  I know I can't make up for abandoning you, but the fact that you've made so much of yourself shows how strong a person you really are.  I want to get a chance to be in your life, if you'll have me."

Squall patted Laguna's back lightly.  "We'll talk about it later.  But I…I'd like that…father."

Laguna's smile widened.  He'd prayed so hard his son would forgive him, even after all these years.  Now, it looked like that prayer would be answered.

"C'mon, guys", said Zell.  "Your bags should already be loaded in the car, and yours truly will be your chauffeur."

Quistis leaned over and whispered into Rinoa's ear, "Better make out your will before you go."  Rinoa giggled.

"Whazzat?" asked Zell.

"She told me your driving has improved a lot," lied Rinoa.

"Oh.  Hey, thanks, Quist!" said Zell.

Rinoa slipped her shoes back on, and took Squall's arm when he offered it.  They waved goodbye to everyone one last time before leaving the ballroom, with Zell following at an excited pace. 

"Clean up time!" said Selphie, starting to gather up the opened gifts from the main table.  "Let's put them in their new apartment!  Then tomorrow we can move in all their stuff from their dorm rooms!  Tee hee!  They're gonna love it!"

"Well," said Cid, taking Edea's hand, "Looks like we'll finally have some company in our section."  A new area recently added to the second floor contained apartments for married couples, and thus far had only been occupied by Cid and Edea.

"It will be nice," smiled Edea.  She scooped up an armload of gifts from the table and handed them to Cid.  He grunted slightly, not being quite as physically powerful as his sorceress wife.

"Yeah, we can fill it with flowers, and hearts, and little teddy bears!" said Selphie excitedly.

"Well, uh," said Quistis, echoing everyone else's reaction to Selphie's statement, "Maybe we'll let them handle their own decoration."

*

Squall, carrying Rinoa in his arms, stepped over the threshold into their suite in the Balamb hotel.  Although he was quite thin, Squall was very strong, and had no difficulty supporting the weight of the petite Rinoa.

When he reached the bed, he laid her down on the end.  She spread her arms and legs, getting comfortable, and closed her eyes, drinking in the full reality of it all

_We've finally done it!  We're married!  No matter what happens, we'll always be together!_

She then looked down and smiled as she felt her shoes being removed by gentle, tender hands.  As Squall removed each shoe, he caressed her calves, sending goose bumps up her legs.

"Now, now," she said, waving one foot in his face, "patience is a virtue."  She rolled over and stood up on the floor.  "You're going to have to wait, young man."

"Are you going to give me detention?" teased Squall.  _She's starting to sound like Quistis, of all people._

Rinoa started to undo her dress clasps behind her back, but she found them to be quite stubborn.  Squall, ever her knight in shining armor, walked up, wrapped his hands around her, and began to help her open the clasps.

"Hmm," said Rinoa, smiling seductively at him.  "You seem pretty handy.  Maybe I'll keep you around."

Squall responded by pulling her close, the back of her white gown half-open.  He said, "Not that you have a choice," and kissed her full on the lips.  She returned the kiss eagerly, slipping her tongue into his mouth.

Rinoa then slid her hands under Squall's uniform jacket and caressed his back with her hands.  As she did this, brilliant white angelic wings sprouted from her back, spreading across the width of the room.  The mystical wings wrapped themselves around Squall and Rinoa, holding them together in their warm, loving embrace.

Squall broke off the kiss for a second to look at Rinoa's daintily feathered wings as they surrounded the couple.  He smiled at her.  "I'll never tell," he cooed. 

As he said that, their clothes began to fall off of their own accord, without husband or wife even releasing their embrace.  And as their final articles of clothing hit to the floor, they began to float in the air, on waves of supernatural energy and love.

But that night, their love was the one true magic to behold.


	6. Chapter 5: Training

Chapter 5: Training

Scene: Outside Headmaster Cid's Office

The Next Morning

Quistis knocked on the large double doors to Cid's office.  The doors immediately opened, and Cid, seated behind his large oak desk, said, "Come in, Quistis, come in.  Please have a seat."  He gestured to one of the plush leather seats in front of his desk.  Quistis strode in and sat down at attention.

"At ease, Quistis," said Cid, "I'm not interrogating you."

Quistis relaxed her position slightly.  "What can I do for you, sir?"

Cid handed her a file, saying, "We have a new student here that I think could benefit greatly from your expertise. I'd like you to take him under your wing."

Quistis looked at the file's cover, and felt a shock up her spine.  _Almasy, Seifer._  "Sir, I…"

"Yes, Ms. Trepe, I know you're not currently an Instructor, but I feel your working with Mister Almasy could benefit you both," said Cid amicably.

"But, sir," said Quistis, "Surely there are other more experienced SeeDs or Instructors that could better help him."

Cid steepled his hands and leaned forward on his desk.  "Perhaps.  Then again, Mr. Almasy has a history of rebelling against authority, wouldn't you agree?"

Quistis stared at Cid for a second, then nodded once.  Cid's comment struck a chord inside her.  Seifer's bad behavior, when he was her student, was one of the main reasons Cid had revoked her Instructor's license a year ago.

"Good, I'm glad you agree," said Cid.  "So you see why I want you, personally, to work with him.  Barring your exemplary service level and A rank status, your SeeD status is only one step above his status as student.  That, coupled with the fact that you and he are the same age, may help you to reach him a little more easily.  

"He understands that this is his last chance.  And if he becomes too much of a problem, he will be cut loose.  However, if he chooses to behave himself and learn some discipline, he has six months to pass his field exam.  And," he lowered his voice, "to be honest, I'd much rather have him as our ally than our enemy.  He is quite a powerful fighter, and an accomplished mercenary, even after just one year.  If we can give him vindication, he can give us his skills and dedication.  And as you already know, we lost many SeeDs in the War that must be replaced, in case another war breaks out."

Quistis' eyes moved away from Cid, and she stared at the far wall.  She'd cared for Seifer, as a student, when she was his Instructor, but after he'd joined Ultimecia, she'd seen him as nothing but an enemy.  _But if Edea is right, and he was really just being controlled, maybe there _is _hope for him._

"Very well, sir," she said, looking at Cid again. "I'll do my best."

"I'd expect nothing less from you," replied Cid.  "You'll find his class schedule in the file, along with any other information you may need.   And, Quistis, one more thing.  In the past year I've seen a change in you.  You've become much more of a leader among your peers, and shown many of the qualities you didn't seem to have a year ago.  If you can turn Mr. Almasy around, and get him to become a SeeD, I think you will have proven yourself worthy of a second chance at being an Instructor."

Quistis' heart skipped a beat.  She opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't think of the words to express herself.

Cid smiled warmly and said, "No thanks necessary yet, my dear.  Just make sure Seifer stays in line, and that he passes his final exam within the next six months.  Dismissed."

Quistis stood up, saluted Cid, and left the office.  Once she was outside the room and the doors had closed behind her, she stopped and stared at the file in her hand.  She opened the front page and was greeted by the Garden ID photo of Seifer, wearing the same cocky look he'd always had.  His scar was in this picture, which means it had been taken recently.

_Dear God_, she thought.  _I've wanted nothing more for my career the past year than to become an Instructor again.  But to do it, I have to tame_ this _wild animal?_  _I may as well tell Squall to give up his gunblade and become a chef._

_Damn._  She shook her head.  _Why's everything always got to come back to Squall?  Why can't I just get over him?  He's off limits.  He was married yesterday, and I was his bride's made of honor for God's sake.  Get over him Quistis.  Find yourself a man.  Otherwise you'll go insane._

"Ms. Trepe?  Is there something you need?"

Quistis looked up, and realized she was still standing in front of Cid's office.  She looked at Cid's Administrative Assistant, new SeeD graduate Bowler Fisk.  Fisk was a handsome young seventeen-year-old man, who looked like he was much more comfortable behind a desk than out in the field.

"Uh, no, I'm fine.  Thanks."  With that, Quistis entered the elevator and headed for the second floor.  Seifer's schedule said he should be just getting out of his Junctioning class, so she decided now was as good a time as any to get their first official meeting over with.  She started looking through his file.

When she arrived at the second floor moments later, she saw Seifer holding another student by the collar, his face in the younger man's face.  Several students were congregated around them, hoping to see a good fight.

"Seifer!" she shouted, running up to him.

Seifer glanced at her, and smirked.  "Well, Instructor, this is a surprise.  I was just going to teach this punk why you shouldn't talk about people behind their backs.  Especially me."

"Put him down, Seifer.  Now," said Quistis, her voice low and threatening.  Seifer glared at her for a second, and released the younger student without looking at him.  The student immediately broke into a run and vanished down the hall.  "Everyone except Seifer, get out of here now, before I send you to Instructor Goldman for a few hours of PT."

The students didn't have to be told twice.  They disappeared almost as quickly as the first student had.  Quistis noticed an empty classroom just down the hall.  "Get in there," she said.

"Well, Quistis, I know you want to get me alone and all, but I do have a class in fifteen minutes.  We could meet later, say, in the secret meeting place at the back of the training center?"  He crossed his arms and gave her a devious smile.

Quistis was unimpressed.  "In there.  Now."  There was no mistaking the command in her voice.  Seifer, not caring enough to argue, just shrugged and followed her order.

Once they were inside, she closed and locked the door, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Seifer.

"Sit down," Quistis said, pointing to the student terminals.  Seifer, keeping an eye on the young woman, chose a seat and got comfortable.

Quistis slapped Seifer's file down on the front desk.  But instead of rifling through it, she walked over to where Seifer sat, her arms crossed and her eyes determined.  "Headmaster Cid has informed me of your, shall we say, 'special situation' regarding your return to Garden.  Quite frankly, I don't give a damn about your situation.  You are here now, and Headmaster Cid has ordered me to take you under my wing.  You _will_ learn discipline, Seifer Almasy.  You _will_ learn to respect authority, like it or not.  And you _will_ pass your SeeD field exam.  Any questions?"

"Yes, Ms. Trepe, I do have a question," said Seifer, his voice reflecting the poor attitude Cid wanted him to shed.  "I hear you're no longer an Instructor any more.  Let me guess, you quit so you could get closer to Squall, didn't you?  Or, were you just a failure?  You always were a second-rate instructor."

Quistis quickly reached her boiling point.  She'd never wanted to punch out a man as much as this moment.  She leaned toward him and stuck an accusing finger in his face.  "_You_ are the main reason I lost my Instructor's license, asshole.  _You_ had to go around with your disciplinary committee, acting like you owned the place, and then break every rule you could.  It's _your_ fault I lost my license, so I hope you're proud of that accomplishment."  Quistis immediately regretted having said that.  She didn't realize until too late that she couldn't guilt Seifer Almasy into behaving.

She crossed her arms again and turned away, disgusted with both herself and Seifer.  She waited for the insults to begin.

"I…I'm…sorry, Quistis.  I didn't realize that would happen to you because of me."

Quistis slowly turned around.  Had another student entered the room?  No, Seifer was the only one there.

"What…what did you just say?" she asked, incredulous.

"I didn't mean for you to lose you job over me.  I…I did respect you."

Quistis suddenly felt a years' worth of pent up rage explode forth.  "You're _sorry_?  Oh, that just makes it all right, doesn't it?  The great warrior, Seifer Almasy, who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.  Then, after he's stepped on everyone's toes and screwed things up for everyone else, he's sorry!"  She turned away again, shaking with anger.

"Hey, look, what do you want from me, huh?" asked Seifer.  "I've spent the last year trying to make up for the things I did under Ultimecia's control.  You want me to get on my knees and beg for forgiveness?  Well, forget it!"  He stood up, pointing a gloved finger at Quistis.  "You have to stop dwelling in the past, just like the rest of us.  Because today's all some of us have…" he trailed off, surprised he has opened up so suddenly to anyone.  He sat back down again.

Quistis turned to look at him again.  He was sitting, but looked a little more uncomfortable than before.  "I'm sorry, Seifer.  I didn't mean to snap at you.  My job is to help you shape up so you can become a SeeD.  All I need to know is if you're dedicated to actually graduating.  Because if you're not, I want you to leave now and not waste your time, or mine."

Seifer stayed put.  "I'm going to become a SeeD.  As glamorous as the life of a mercenary seems, sleeping in the dirt and eating forest shrubs and wild animals isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Fujin and Raijin seemed to get a kick out of it, but I wanted back here.  I intend to graduate."

"Good," said Quistis, her voice low and monotone.  "Go ahead to your next class.  We'll be meeting in Room 203 tonight at 1700 hours to begin your mentoring."

Seifer stood and saluted Quistis, obviously out of sarcasm.  "Yes, ma'am," he said, and strolled out of the classroom.

Quistis moved around the front desk and sat down heavily.  _What have I gotten into?_

*

Quistis sat in the cafeteria, her coffee growing cold as she leaned over the table, her forehead in her left hand.  Her right hand flipped through pages of Seifer's file.

"Hey, Quisty!"

Quistis looked up.  She gave a tired smile and closed Seifer's file, pulling it under the table onto her lap.

"Hey, Selphie, Irvine.  Still attached at the hip, I see."

Selphie giggled, and Irvine tipped his hat.  "Can't let the pretty lady roam around Garden with all these undersexed males around, can I?" said Irvine.

Selphie leaned toward Quistis and said, in a stage whisper, "He's been following me around a lot.  I think he can't get enough of me."

Irvine wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.  "Maybe so."  He kissed the back of her neck.

"Tee hee…stop it, Irvy!  That tickles!"  Selphie squirmed out of his embrace and sat down next to Quistis.  "Weren't Zell and his girlfriend supposed to join you for lunch?"

"He had to help train some students in the Training Center this afternoon.  I think she went with him just to watch him during her lunch break," answered Quistis with a sigh.

"Well, _we're_ here now, so enough with the long face," said Irvine, sitting down and putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Thanks, Irv," said Quistis.

"Hey, whatcha working on?  I saw you hide it when you saw us," said Selphie, trying to get a peek at the file in Quistis lap.

"I can't show it to you, Sefie.  Official Garden business."

"Ohhhh, official _Garden_ business," mocked Selphie, giggling.

"But, maybe I can tell you this, since you'll find out anyway," started Quistis, taking a deep breath.  She knew she wouldn't like their reaction.  "There's a new student here at Garden, and the Headmaster has made it my job to make sure he passes his field exam within six months.  His name is…"

"Seifer," said Irvine, facing the cafeteria entrance.

"Uh...uh, yeah," said Quistis.  "How did you know?"

Irvine pointed to the entrance.  There stood Seifer, scanning over the cafeteria as if he owned the place.  When he laid eyes on Quistis, Selphie, and Irvine, he strutted over to them like royalty.

"Well, well, if it isn't the dear Instructor, the hyper chick, and the cowboy," he said.  "Where's the Chicken-Wuss?  Aren't you all a posse?"

Irvine lowered the brim of his hat and looked away from Seifer, nonchalantly.  "He has work to do.  As do the rest of us, but we're on break right now.  Something you want?"

Seifer audibly smirked.  "Think you're cool, don't you?"  Then, to Quistis, "I'm looking forward to our little 'meeting' later, Quistis."  He winked at her, and stalked out of the cafeteria.

Irvine and Selphie looked at Quistis, who sighed and closed her eyes.

"You have to shape _him_ up?  Good luck, Quisty," said Selphie.

Quistis shook her head slowly.  "No, I won't need luck.  I'll need a miracle."

*

Quistis sat behind the Instructor's desk in Room 203, drumming her fingers impatiently.  She checked her watch again. 17:10.  She straightened her uniform top for the tenth time, and adjusted her glasses.

_If I'm supposed to be teaching Seifer discipline, looks like I have some way to go._  She shook her head and glanced at the material she'd gathered with her.  _Guess we won't get to this tonight._

Finally, Seifer strode into the room.  "Sorry I'm late, Quistis.  Dinner time, you know."  He sat down at one of the student terminals.

"Did I tell you to sit down?" asked Quistis calmly.

Seifer sighed, rolled his eyes, and stood up.  "This part of my discipline training?  Do I now have to wait for permission to sit down?"

Quistis stood up.  "Follow me."  She walked out the door.  Seifer gave her back a confused look, and then followed her out into the corridor.  As he walked to her rear, his eyes couldn't help wandering down to her behind.  _Man, I forgot what a hottie she is! _ He kept following her from behind, admiring everything from her butt down her legs.  He thanked God the female SeeD uniforms had skirts instead of the loose slacks men's uniforms had.

"Seifer, quit staring at my ass and walk alongside me," said Quistis, as smoothly as if she'd asked him how his classes were today.

_Damn, how did she know?_  Seifer hurried up and joined her, walking on her right.

"Wrong side, Seifer.  The highest-ranking personnel walk to the right."

Seifer rolled his eyes.  He crossed behind her, glancing down at her ass once more, before reaching her left side.

Quistis turned toward the elevator, Seifer rushing to match her gait.  When they reached the elevator, they had to wait for a second while the elevator returned from the first level.

"So tell me, Quistis," said Seifer, wanting to get on Quistis' good side.  "What have you been up to this past year?"

Quistis didn't answer.  When the elevator finally arrived, several students exited for their evening classes.  One of them, a Trepie that Quistis recognized, stared at her for a second as he walked past.  She ignored him completely and stepped into the elevator.  Seifer followed, and turned around when Quistis did.

Seifer was now on Quistis' right.  She looked at him sternly, and gestured with her head for him to get to the correct side of her.  Seifer sighed, shook his head, and muttered a complaint.

"What was that?" Quistis snapped.

"I said, nobody ever follows the stupid 'Position of Honor' rule anymore.  It's just a formality that looks good in the regs."

"You will learn to follow regulations Seifer.  Whether everyone else does it or not, _you will_."  She pressed the button for the first level, and the doors promptly closed.

The elevator deposited them on the first floor.  Groups of students and SeeDs hung around chatting, while others were rushing to their destination.  Several were jogging around the concourse in a group.  Quistis ignored all other people and marched off the elevator platform.  When she reached the concourse, she turned sharply right.  Seifer uncharacteristically rushed to follow her.

Several students noticed the popular, blonde former Instructor marching like a machine with the large, menacing man that many had recognized as their enemy since one year ago.  Seifer just glared at anyone who looked, nonverbally threatening them to look away.  Most did.  Seifer made mental notes to beat up the ones that didn't.

Quistis turned right when they reached the corridor to the Quad.  Seifer followed, spreading his hands slightly in a questioning gesture.   Whether Quistis saw it or not, she didn't react.

"Hey, if we were going to the Quad, why didn't we just meet here?  Wouldn't it have been easier?"  His question was met with cold silence.

Once inside the Quad, Quistis led Seifer to the basketball court.  It was regulation length, and was often used for calisthenics by some Instructors.  Quistis had reserved the court for the two of them this evening.  She had a feeling he'd be late, and would have to be trained.  She was prepared.

Quistis pointed out to the court.  "Go."

_Huh?_ "Go what?" Seifer asked.

"Start running laps," answered Quistis calmly.

"But…how many?  Can't I change into…?"

"No.  Go."

When Seifer didn't move, she gave him the fiercest look he'd ever seen in any woman, especially Quistis.

"_Now_."  

Seifer started running.  Quistis crossed her arms, and simply stood there, watching him.  When he reached the other end of the court, she shouted, "Faster!"

Seifer picked up the pace, irritated at this stupid game.  _This is the kind of thing Instructors do at Galbadia Garden when they're breaking in new students.  Or punishing them._

"Faster!"

Seifer started running harder.  He really wished he'd thought to take off his overcoat.  He shouted back to Quistis, "Can I take off my…?"

"No.  Faster!"

Seifer shifted up to his top speed.  He started getting tired, after only the second lap.  _Damn, I'm getting out of shape.  Is _that_ what this is about?_

He could see Quistis watching him, scowling as she did so.  _Man, I must have really pissed her off earlier.  Guess my charm didn't cheer her up at all. _

Quistis' scowl lightened slightly.  She wished she didn't have to do this.  _But it's the only way he'll learn, _she thought_.  I only wish I'd learned this two years ago; I may never have lost my license._

Finally, at about the tenth lap, Seifer started dragging.  His pace had slowed greatly, and he was bobbing his head slightly from side to side.  He was getting exhausted quickly.  Several students had stopped to watch, but a look shot at them from Quistis had been enough to convince them to leave.

As Seifer continued running, Quistis walked over to a vending machine and bought two bottles of water.  She brought them back to the court and set them down at her feet.

At fifteen laps, Seifer had slowed to a medium jog.  Sweat poured down his face, soaking his hair and clothing.  "When you reach me," Quistis called from the opposite side of the court, "you can stop for a minute and drink some water."

Seifer felt a slight smile tug at his tired mouth.  _She can't stand to see me do this.  I know her too well, even after all this time.  She's a softie at heart._

When he finally reached Quistis' end of the court, he slowed to a stop.  He bent down, leaning on his knees with his arms.  He then took one of the water bottles in his gloved hand, opened it, and chugged the contents in a series of quick gulps.  He tossed the bottle aside into the gravel

"Take off that stupid coat and those gloves.  It's eighty degrees out here," said Quistis, no less sternly than before.  She looked at her watch.  "You're not passing out yet."

Seifer gladly threw off his coat and gloves.  He was glad he hadn't tried to sneak his gunblade with him, because he knew Quistis was being enough of a bitch to punish him for it.  Weapons were not permitted in classrooms, or in the Quad.  

"And…go." Quistis said, her eyes on her watch.

"W-what?" said Seifer.

"I said a minute.  You've had more than that.  Now move your ass!"

"But…?" Seifer started.

"You want to leave Garden for good tonight?" asked Quistis impatiently.

Seifer sighed, and started running again.  He still felt tired, but was glad she'd made him shed his coat and gloves.  _How the hell long is this going to go on?_

By the tenth lap, Seifer was dragging again.  Quistis ordered him to stop and drink the other bottle of water.  He gladly complied.  Once he was finished with the water, he started to run again.

"Hey!" shouted Quistis.  "When did I tell you to start running again?"

Seifer came to an exhausted stop.  He spun around and walked toward her, exasperated.  "Was it not a minute yet?"

"Yes, it was.  But you're done running for now.  Get on the ground.  Push-ups.  One hundred of them.  Move it, Almasy!"  Quistis slightly relished in her domination of the cocky Seifer.  _I wish I could say this will be the last time we do this, though._

Seifer fell to the ground and started doing tired push-ups.  Fortunately, he had more upper-body strength than lower-body, so he was pretty sure he could make it to a hundred.  At some point this evening.  _God_, he thought, _what the hell is this?_

After the twentieth push-up, Quistis kneeled down closet to Seifer.  "How do you feel?"

"Tired," was all Seifer could muster.  _Jeez, this is harder than I thought._

"Do you realize, Mister Almasy, that I could have been attacked and killed by a herd of grats between the time you were supposed to meet me and the time you actually arrived?  Or that I could have been kidnapped without a trace, taken to the Fire Cavern, and thrown into the magma lake?  Or that I could have gone to the cafeteria, made myself a _three-course_ _dinner_, eaten it, and had it fully digested?"  Quistis had spent Seifer's running time coming up with various scenarios to throw at him.

Seifer knew he was in enough trouble already.  "Yes, ma'am," he said between grunts.

Quistis stayed kneeled over him, making sure he knew she was there.

About ten minutes later, after the fiftieth strained push-up, Quistis said, "All right, this is pathetic.  Stop."

Seifer collapsed onto the ground.  He swore at that moment that he'd never be late again.

"Get up," said Quistis.  "I notice you decided to throw your water bottles on the ground when you were done.  There's a recycling bin right next to me that you could have used.  I'd say it's time you do a little cleaning out here.  Pick up every piece of trash, every cigarette butt, every weed, off the ground in the entire Quad."

Seifer, still trying to catch his breath, stood up.  "But…we have custodians to do that kind of thing!  Isn't that what they're paid for?"

Quistis smiled evilly.  _I knew you'd say something like that, Seifer_.  "Glad you see it that way, because afterward, you're going to help in the cafeteria kitchen for the rest of the night.  And if I hear one more complaint out of you, you'll be scrubbing toilets after that.  Understood?"

Seifer closed his eyes, wishing this were a nightmare.  He opened them again.  _Nope, I'm still here.  Damn. _ "Yes, ma'am."

Quistis handed him a trash bag she'd grabbed from the nearby custodian's closet earlier.  He took it and started wandering around the Quad, picking up every piece of litter and every weed he could find.  He didn't want to be out here longer than he had to.

Quistis watched him, not moving from her spot.  She was enjoying this.  She finally had a chance to teach Seifer some respect.  He may learn to hate her, if he didn't already, but he sure as hell would _respect_ her.

She found herself looking at his body as he bent down to pick up each piece of litter.  Under his tan trench coat, he had been wearing a black t-shirt, tight against his muscular upper body, and relaxed-fit black jeans.  Each time he bent down, she looked at the contours of his butt.  She smiled slightly.  _Too bad he's got such a bad attitude.  He's always been somewhat of a hottie. Muscle headed, yes, but a hottie._

She shook her head and chuckled at herself.  _This is interesting. I can't have Squall, so I start ogling his rival.  Isn't _that_ ironic?  _Still, if she could teach Seifer to be a little more considerate of people…__

No, Quisty, now you've completely lost it.

After a half hour of searching and picking, Seifer returned to Quistis, bag in hand.  "That's everything I could find, ma'am."  He rubbed his back with his free hand, trying to force it straight.

"You should bend with your knees, not your back," scolded Quistis lightly.  "And, you missed one."

"Huh?  What?  Where?"  Seifer looked around, trying frantically to find the errant piece of litter.

"Here," said Quistis.  She moved her foot, and revealed she'd been standing on a gum wrapper.  "Well?  Pick it up."

Seifer shot her an angry look, bent with his knees, and snatched the gum wrapper.  Placing the wrapper in his bag, he asked, "Is that satisfactory, ma'am?"  His voice was laced with razor blades.

"Yes, Seifer, that will do.  Toss that bag in the trash bin, and go to your dorm and clean up.  I want to see you in the cafeteria in ten minutes.  _No later._"  With that, she walked past Seifer and headed out of the Quad.

Seifer clenched his fists, and slammed the bag into the trash bin.  Cursing up a storm, but quietly enough for Quistis not to hear him, he grabbed his coat and gloves and started jogging out of the Quad to get to his dorm and wash up.  He was afraid to think of what she'd make him do if he was late again.

He ran past Quistis, making sure to do so on her _left_ side, and bolted for the dorms, nearly bowling over a jogging student.  Quistis laughed slightly, covering her mouth.  "I bet Seifer didn't expect _this_ when he finagled his way back into Garden." 

"What'd you say, Quisty?"

Quistis turned to see Zell standing next to her.  "And wasn't that flash I just saw Seifer?  How's his 'training' going?"

Quistis smiled at her friend.  She just had a really _great_ idea.  "Say, Zell, have you eaten dinner yet?"

"Yeah, about an hour ago."

"Do you know if Selphie and Irvine have?"

"Uh, I think they were on their way a minute ago, why?"

Quistis grinned.  "Could you please grab them and all of you wait to go there for about ten minutes?  When you get there, I want you to buy something.  I don't care if you're not hungry, I'll pay you back for whatever you buy.  Will you do that for me?"

"Uh, sure," said Zell.  "I'll go find them."

After Zell left, Quistis started walking calmly toward the cafeteria.  _He may hate me after this, but a little humility will do him good._  

*

Just under ten minutes later, Seifer arrived at the cafeteria, struggling to catch his breath.  He had quickly showered and changed into another black T-shirt and pair of black jeans.  He'd left his coat in his room to be cleaned later.  Quistis checked her watch when she saw him, and said, "Right on time.  Excellent.  Follow me, please."

She walked him behind the counter and stopped to speak to Mrs. Greely, the cafeteria manager.  "Mrs. Greely, I have a helper for you."

Mrs. Greely, who had been fiddling with the grill flame, looked up to greet Quistis.  She had a disproportional large nose, a round face, and a hairy mole just above her lip.  When she smiled, one could see her mouthful of crooked, rotten teeth.

"Why Quistis, this is a pleasure," she said.  "Did you get your Instructor license back?  I don't recall you ever bringing students here before to help out."

Quistis smiled at the older lady.  Mrs. Greely had a reputation for being strict to students that were being "taught lessons" by helping out in the kitchen, but extremely nice and friendly to everyone else.

"He needs to learn just how hard Garden's staff works, and how important their work is," replied Quistis.

"Ah, I see.  I remember this ruffian.  Seifer, right?"  She walked up to Seifer and looked him in the eye.  "I'm in need of a good grill scrubber tonight."

"Whatever you need him to do," replied Quistis.  "One thing, though.  Could you please have him serve for the next, oh about fifteen minutes?  After that, he's yours until closing."

Mrs. Greely smiled widely, exposing her bad teeth.  "You got it, dearie."

"Do whatever she tells you, Seifer," said Quistis.  As she started to head back toward the front of the counter, Mrs. Greely handed Seifer an apron and a small fabric mesh object.  "Put these on, son."

Seifer looked at the objects with disgust.  They looked clean, but the great Seifer Almasy had never stooped to being kitchen help.

"_Do it_," said Mrs. Greely, emphasizing each word.  Seifer, not wanting to get in any more trouble tonight, reluctantly put on the apron.  He then examined the mesh object, and, realizing what it was, tried to protest putting it on.

"Everyone that works behind the counter has to wear one.  Garden rules, you know," explained Mrs. Greely.

A few minutes later, Quistis had found a seat at one of the tables.  Zell, Selphie, and Irvine entered, and she could immediately hear Selphie's complaints.

"Now I'm reeeeealy hungry!  There better be a good reason for waiting!"

"Hey," said Zell, "relax Sefie.  Quistis needed it as a favor.  Now lets just go to the counter and…and…uhhhh…"

The three of them stopped dead in their tracks.  There was Seifer, standing behind the counter, wearing an apron.  And a hairnet!

Zell was the first to start laughing.  He fell to the floor, clenching his stomach, his face turning red.  Selphie and Irvine's laughter followed, although they were both able to keep their footing.  They jaughed for a good minute, before they all looked back at Seifer again.  They then laughed for another few minutes.

Seifer was totally furious.  Here were the Chicken-Wuss, the cowboy, and that ditzy girl laughing at him!  He nearly snapped his serving spoon in half, before noticing Mrs. Greely staring at him menacingly.  He closed his eyes for a second, the frown on his face deepening, and continued to serve dinner to the students in line. 

Finally, Zell got enough of his senses back to get in line.  Selphie and Irvine followed.  When Zell finally reached Seifer, he asked, "Excuse me, miss, could you…Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice it was you, Seifer!"  He started laughing again.

Seifer gritted his teeth, ready to grab the smaller man and throw him onto the grill, just to see him fry.  But he then noticed _Quistis_ staring at him, so he instead clenched his teeth tightly and said, "Would you like some beef stew, sir?"

Zell couldn't stand it.  He got out of the line and headed back out of the cafeteria, laughing so hard he could barely walk.

Selphie wanted to say something funny to him as well, but she felt a little sorry for him.  She'd heard how proud he was, and this must be the most humiliating thing he'd ever had to endure.  Still, he probably deserved it.  She just asked for a chicken salad sandwich and a can of root beer between stifled giggles.  Irvine got a steak hoagie, fries, and a cola.  He watched Seifer closely, making sure he didn't spit in them, or do something else gross with his food.  When Seifer gave him the meal, Irvine just bit his lip, trying not to burst out with laughter again.

Selphie and Irvine joined Quistis at her table.  Quistis, looking very satisfied with herself, said, "Thanks, guys.  I know this is one lesson he won't soon forget."

As she started to stand up, she saw Cid enter the cafeteria.  She sat back down, waiting to see his reaction to her new teaching method.

Cid had his nose buried in a report.  He got in line, and didn't look up until he reached the counter.

"What can I get you, sir?"

"Yes, I'd just like a…"  He suddenly noticed it was Seifer who was serving him.  He continued, "a…cup of tomato soup, please."

Seifer poured the soup for him, being careful to not get any on the outside of the cup.  "Here you are sir," Seifer said.  "Anything else I can get for you?"

"Uh, no, no thank you Seifer.  Keep up the good work."

Cid paid for his soup, and then saw Quistis sitting at a table with Selphie and Irvine.  She was staring intently at Seifer.

He walked up to her and said, "Ms. Trepe, Seifer…?  Is this part of your mentoring?"

"Well, sir," explained Quistis, "Seifer is learning a very important lesson right now.  Not to be late."

Cid nodded.  "Ah, I see.  Well, keep at it, Quistis.  I'm sure he'll learn quickly."  Cid then walked quickly toward the exit.  Once he was out of sight, they could hear the laughter of a deep male voice coming from the exit.

Quistis covered her smile.  She looked at Seifer, who had obviously heard Cid's laughter.  He seemed ready to punch his fist through a steel wall.  _Okay, it's been long enough_, she thought.  She stood up and walked over to him, cutting in line.  She'd cut in front of one of the Trepies, though, so she heard no complaints.

"Well, Seifer, have you had enough?"

He looked her square in the eye, absolute rage emitting from them.  "Yes, ma'am, I have."

"Will you ever be late again?"

"No, ma'am, I won't."

"Good," replied Quistis.  "Mrs. Greely, I'm sorry, but I forgot that this student has an appointment with the Headmaster now."

"Ah, darn it," replied Mrs. Greely, who had been emptying the dishwasher.  "Oh, well, maybe next time."

"There won't be a next time, you old hag," mumbled Seifer.  Quistis heard it, but fortunately, Mrs. Greely did not.

"Come on, Seifer.  Let's go."  Quistis walked around to meet him as he came out from behind the counter.  Seifer took off his apron and hair net, and hung them back up where Mrs. Greely had taken them.  He then joined Quistis in walking, on her left side, out of the cafeteria.

When they reached the concourse, Quistis stopped.  She looked at him, her eyes the least cold they had been all night.  "Well, Seifer, this has been a lesson hard-learned for you, hasn't it?  What did you think of it?"

Seifer glared at her.  "Permission to speak freely?"

Quistis thought for a second, and said, "Sure."

"I think you're a bitch," replied Seifer.  _I've been holding that in all night.  She at least owes me that release._

He expected her to turn angry and order him to clean toilets, or worse, go back into the cafeteria and serve everyone dinner.  Instead, her expression softened as she let out a small laugh.

"You, know, Seifer, you're right," she said.  "I can be a bitch.  That means I won't put up with your bullshit like I did when you were my student.  You're going to pass that SeeD exam, and I'm going to help you make that happen.  Now, do you have any more free speaking to do?"

"Just that I'm frigging tired and I want to go to bed," he replied.

Quistis nodded.  "Go ahead.  And I'll see you promptly at 1700 hours tomorrow, Room 203."

*

The next day, Seifer showed up five minutes early.  Quistis was glad that he'd taken her lesson to heart, and hoped he wouldn't slip into his previous routine.  If he did, she'd give him a night that is even worse.

Thirteen days later, Quistis stood in Room 203, a few minutes before 1700 hours.  She smiled when Seifer entered the room and saluted her.  She returned the salute.

"Cadet Almasy reporting as ordered, ma'am," said Seifer.  Quistis couldn't get over how out-of-character it was for him to be showing respect to anyone like this, least of all _her_.

"Take your seat, Cadet," said Quistis, returning his salute.  Seifer dropped his salute and headed promptly for his seat.

"Seifer," she said, walking over to him, "You've improved admirably in the past two weeks.  Not only have you been on time every day since the first day, but you've learned to show respect without making it look or sound sarcastic."

Seifer looked up at her.  "I've got too much riding on this, ma'am.  I can't afford to be expelled or fail."

"Well, your Instructors have also come up to me and told me how much better you're doing.  Not just in completing the coursework; you already did that well.  But you're finally acting like a SeeD.  So, I'm going to give you a gift."

Seifer's eyebrows furrowed.  _A gift?  Is that appropriate?  What could it be?_

"From now on, you don't need to salute me any more.  Or call me _ma'am_ or _Ms. Trepe_.  Unless, of course, you want to," she smiled.  "You can call me Quistis, and you don't have to walk on my left side any more."  She continued smiling, much more warmly than she ever had to him before.  "Provided," she continued, her smile fading, "that you don't abuse this gift, and start turning into your old, disrespectful self.  Because if you do, I promise you much worse evenings than our first one, and many more of them."

Seifer raised his eyebrows.  _Is this a sign of weakness, or is she trying to be my friend?  I better not worry about it.  Don't want to let myself slip again._  "Ok, Quistis.  Whatever you want."  Quistis chuckled, covering her mouth.

"What's so funny?" asked Seifer

"Listen to you, Seifer.  A year ago, when you were my student, you'd have never given me any respect whatsoever.  And here you are now, saying 'whatever you want, Quistis.'  I just think it's a great change in you."

Seifer hung his head.  "Well, if you'd been through what I've gone through, you'd probably understand why."

Quistis nodded apologetically.  She could tell how ashamed he was of his actions during the Second Sorceress War.  _Maybe,_ she thought, _he's actually ashamed of _what he did_, instead just of losing control of himself._  "I am kind of surprised, though, that Fujin and Raijin didn't come back with you.  They didn't seem to be able to do anything on their own, yet they're out there, on their own, without you."

Seifer's expression grew darker.  "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Ok, I won't press," said Quistis.  "Anyway, let's get on with today's session.  I want you to take a quick quiz of common courtesies offered superior officers and members of other Gardens.  After these past weeks," said Quistis with a slight smile, "you should ace it."


	7. Chapter 6: Old Friends

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and all related things belong to SquareSoft.

Author's note: I fixed the formatting problems in both this and the next chapter. Sorry about that :) 

  
  
  


Chapter 6: Old Friends  
Scene: Passenger Train En Route to Balamb  
The Next Day, Mid-Morning

  


Squall sat on the plush sofa of the SeeD drawing room, Rinoa lying with her head in his lap, asleep. _It was nice of Cid to let us use this room, since they didn't need it right now,_ he thought. Squall had dimmed the lights so Rinoa could sleep, but he could still clearly see her face. He put down his book and stroked her black, silky hair with his left hand, playing with a few of the gold-highlighted strands. He gazed down at her closed eyes. He could see them moving under her eyelids, telling him she was dreaming. His right hand lay on her stomach, and, though she slept, both her hands had found their way onto his. 

They both wore their normal outfits for their homecoming: Squall wore his black leather pants, white shirt, and boots, and Rinoa had on her black bodysuit and long blue jacket with matching forearm warmers. Squall's fur-collared leather jacket was lying on top of their luggage in the far corner.

The intercom chimes sounded, and the conductor's voice came over the speakers, _"Ten minutes to Balamb station. Ten minutes to Balamb station. All passengers disembarking at Balamb please ensure you have all your belongings."_

The chimes woke up Rinoa. She opened her eyes slightly and saw her husband looking down at her. She smiled and said, sleepily, "Hey there, love. How are you?"

"Being alone with you, could I be anything but great?" he said, smiling. Rinoa took his left hand from her hair and pressed it to her cheek. He loved the feel of her soft skin against his. "We're ten minutes from Balamb."

Rinoa grumbled and pursed her lips. "Ten minutes until we have to go back to the real world, and I have to go back into hiding. I guess nothing lasts forever."

"I can think of one thing that does." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. Then, he kissed her lips. She tenderly returned the kiss.

Rinoa sat up on the couch, and then stood up on the vibrating floor. She headed over to the bags. "You know," said Squall, "you don't have to hide if you don't want to. Quisty, Zell, Selphie, Irvine, they all love you. They won't hate you or be afraid of you if they know."

Rinoa lowered her head slightly, but didn't look back to Squall. "I know. I'm not worried about them hating me." _That's a lie,_ she thought. _All the pain and suffering they endured at Ultimecia's hands, I just don't want them to be afraid I might do that to them someday. _ "I'm more worried about protecting them. There's a lot of people out there that hate even the idea of a Sorceress. Only you, our close friends, and those yoyos in Odine's secret lab even know that I ever _had_ the powers. But if it somehow gets out that I'm still a Sorceress, I want to be able to say they didn't know, so they wouldn't be in danger."

Squall stood up, walked over, and embraced her from behind. "Do you regret telling me?"

Rinoa squeezed his hands in her own. _God, he's so soothing._ "No. Yes. I...sometimes, I don't know. I mean, when we make love, I let my powers flow out and around us, because it's who I am and I know you love me for it. But, sometimes I do worry that you'll have to give up everything that means anything to you, because of me. Or worse, your life."

"Hey," said Squall, turning her around. He lowered his head until he was looking into her eyes. "The only thing that truly means anything to me is you. If it came to that, I'd walk away from SeeD and take you far away where no one would ever hurt you. I swore I'd be your knight, and I vowed to be your husband. And I'll honor those, not just because I promised I would, but because I love you more than life itself."

Rinoa gave him a slightly sad smile. Squall pulled her into his chest, where she snuggled her head. "I love you so much, Squall. Sometimes you're the only thing that keeps me from going insane with worry."

Squall rubbed her back. "I promise that I'll never leave your side. I'll keep you safe, even from your own worry-wart self."

Rinoa laughed and shoved one of his arms away. "Well, then," she said, her mood noticeably lighter, "is everything still packed?"

"It was a couple hours ago that we put it all there, and it hasn't moved an inch."

Rinoa took Squall's jacket off their luggage and examined the various bags and suitcases on the floor. They had Squall's one and her three suitcases, and two bags full of souvenirs and mementos from their trip around the world. "Looks like it's all ready to go. Just hope someone's there to pick us up."

Squall absent-mindedly played with her hair from behind her. "When I called Selphie before we left Deling, she said someone would be there. But if they're not we can just rent a car. No big deal."

"Ah, always the problem solver, Mister Leonhart?"

Squall bent over and kissed the nape of her neck. "Always, Missus Leonhart." Rinoa turned around, stood on her toes, and kissed Squall, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

The intercom chimes sounded again. _"Five minutes to Balamb station. Five minutes to Balamb station. All passengers debarking at Balamb please be ready."_

Five minutes of kissing later, the train ground to a halt. They opened the door for the porter, who loaded their bags onto his cart and wheeled them onto the train platform. There to greet them was none other than Irvine Kinneas. 

"Irvy!" said Rinoa, running up to him and giving him a hug, "How are you?"

"Doin' just fine," said Irvine. "No conquests recently though. Slow time for the ol' cowboy."

Squall gave Irvine a skeptical look. _Aren't you supposed to have proposed to Selphie?_ Irvine caught his eye and winked.

"Well, let's get your stuff into the car and get you both home. Garden just hasn't been the same without you." Irvine grabbed two of the suitcases, grunting under the weight. He hauled them up to the Garden car and tossed them in the large passenger compartment. Squall carried two more of the bags into the car, and then seated himself and Rinoa inside.

Irvine placed the last two bags in the car, commenting, "Jeez, did you guys buy the whole damn planet?"

"No, but if we'd known it'd be you carrying the bags, we'd have gotten more rocks." Squall gave a sly half-smile to the cowboy.

"I'm surprised Zell let you pick us up. I figured he'd have been here since first thing this morning," said Rinoa.

"Well, ah, that's something I, uh," stammered Irvine, "Oh, hell. I didn't want to tell you until we got back to Garden, but Zell wrecked two cars last week. One that he was driving, and the other that he hit, parked in the lot at Garden."

Squall's head dropped into his hand. _I can guarantee you'll never get to fly the Ragnarok now, Zell,_ he thought.

As Irvine drove them back home, he filled them in on the events of the past two weeks, leaving out everything having to do with Seifer. Quistis had told them all not to say anything to them about Sefier returning to Garden; Headmaster Cid had told her _he_ wanted to break the news.

When they arrived at the Garden Parking area, they saw their friends all waiting for them, and a banner across the wall that said: "WELCOME HOME SQUALL AND RINNY!"

Squall and Rinoa got out of the car, and were greeted by the fiercely excited form of Selphie rushing up at them. She gave them both hugs and kisses. "How are you two? We missed you sooooooo much!"

"Hey, Sefie!" said Rinoa.

"Guess what?" Selphie said, hiding her left hand behind her back.

"What?"

She whipped her hand out and showed them her new ring. It was a golden dolphin holding a diamond with its snout. "We're getting married!"

"Oooohhh! I'm so happy for you Sefie!" Rinoa hugged her tightly. 

"So you finally asked her, huh?" Squall asked Irvine.

"Yeah, I just couldn't wait any longer. I wanted to see her jump up and down for joy. 'Course, I could have just given her a balloon and she'd have been bouncing off the walls, but the ring was more fun," Irvine quipped. "She's shown it to just about everyone in Garden, except for S..." he stopped his mouth dead in its tracks.

Squall gave him a questioning look, but was distracted by Zell's slap on his shoulder. "Hey, man! How was the trip?"

"It was good," said Squall, not really wanting to go into details.

"'It was good,' he says. You're too much, man!" he put an arm around Squall's shoulder, which Squall tried desperately not to shake off. As much as he'd opened up, he still wasn't too keen on interpersonal contact. With anyone but his wife, that is. "C'mon, let's get your stuff to your new room! You guys'll love it! It's huge compared to the dorms, and you even get your own kitchen!"

"Hold on, Zell," said Quistis. "Sorry to come to you with this so soon after you get back, Squall, but Headmaster Cid needs to see you right away."

Squall's face suddenly went serious (more than it was, anyway). "Do you know what about?"

Quistis shook her head. "All I know is that he wanted to see you as soon as you got back."

Squall nodded. He put an arm around Rinoa's waist and kissed her cheek. "Like you said, back to the real world."

She smiled at him. "I'll see you when you get out."

As Squall headed toward Garden proper and the elevator to Cid's office, everyone else gave Rinoa a hand in taking the bags out of the car. As they carried them through the corridor toward the elevator, Selphie was gushing. "You're gonna loooove what we did to your apartment! It's the perfect little love nest for SeeD's favorite lovebirds! Well, after Irvy and me, that is."

Everyone else avoided commenting on that. _She'll find out soon enough,_ thought Quistis.

When they reached the second floor, they took an immediate right, off the bridge leading out from the elevator. This led to an inner circular corridor that was lined with relatively large suites. They stopped at the third door down. 

"As you know. the walls and door are soundproofed, so you don't have to worry about loud students in the hall waking you up, if you decide to sleep in. Or, if you don't want anyone outside to hear you, you know..." Irvine winked at her. Selphie elbowed him in the ribs, and Zell and Quistis both rolled their eyes as Quistis opened the door with Rinoa's new card key.

They stepped inside, and Rinoa stopped dead in her tracks. The walls were covered with images of teddy bears, doves, and pink hearts. There were pink and purple balloons tied to everything, including Squall's five-foot-long, Griever-adorned gunblade case.

"Whadda ya think, Rinny?" said Selphie. "Isn't it so _cute?_"

Rinoa looked at Quistis, who shrugged and tried to suppress a smile. "It's...it's...great, Selphie. Really. I don't know if Squall will go for it, though."

"Ah, he needs to lighten up," said Selphie, throwing herself onto the couch against the left wall.

Rinoa leaned toward Irvine and whispered, "Did she do this after you proposed to her?"

Irvine nodded. "Why do you ask?"

Rinoa pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. "No reason."

*   


Moments earlier, Squall arrived at Cid's office. He opened the door and walked in. Cid was sitting at his desk, located to the right of the bridge platform.

"Squall, my boy!" said Cid, standing up excitedly. "How was the honeymoon?"

Squall scratched the back of his head. _How does everyone expect me to answer this?_ "It was...good."

"Hah," said Cid, motioning for Squall to sit. "Sorry, I shouldn't pry into your personal affairs. Anyway, why did I bring you here, hmm?"

_Is he asking me or is it a rhetorical question?_ Squall just kept silent.

"I have some good news for you, Squall. Because of our increasing number of students, and our projected increase in worldwide contracts, I am hereby making your position of SeeD Commander full-time. Effective immediately. I don't have the time to administer Garden and SeeD myself anymore, and I know you're up for the job. You'll be sent out on very few, if any, missions, and you have a new office just outside mine."

Squall was somewhat surprised. He'd just been promoted, but he didn't know what to feel. He'd be able to spend more time with Rinoa, when she wasn't out on missions, but he knew the amount of paperwork that Cid did on a regular basis. _I should be thankful, I guess, _ he thought. _This is a really great honor._

"I...thank you, sir," he managed.

"You've more than proven yourself, and since you've begun to open up more to people recently, I decided you would be able to handle really being the leader."

"I'll do my best," said Squall.

Cid smiled. "My boy, I don't doubt that in the slightest. Now, there's something else that I hesitate to mention to you, you having just returned from your honeymoon. But, I'd better tell you now before you find out on your own."

Squall knitted his brow. He was afraid of this. _Every time things start looking up, there's always something to bring you down._

"Of our many new students here, we have one in particular that is a former...acquaintance of yours."

_No,_ thought Squall. _It can't be..._

Cid took a deep breath. "Three months ago, Seifer Almasy petitioned Galbadia Garden to admit him as a student. Because he had led their entire Garden once, and because Edea testified that he was not in control of himself during the whole Ultimecia affair, he was allowed to enroll. I believe he also paid a handsome amount of gil to Headmaster Martine, but I can't confirm that.

"He then applied as a SeeD candidate. Since he had been cleared by Galbadia's court of any wrongdoing, and because he still had six months to graduate before he was...possessed, I saw no reason not to allow him to return."

Squall started to argue, but Cid waved his hand. "I know of your personal feelings in this matter, and I can't blame you. But he promised that he would not cause trouble, and that he would do his best to graduate as a SeeD within six months. If his being here is a problem for you, the best I can say is to avoid him. Let Quistis deal with him."

"Quistis?"

"Yes," said Cid. "I assigned her to be his personal mentor, to make sure he graduates, or at least stays out of trouble. And she's been doing an admirable job. Also, you may not know this, but as SeeD Commander, it is now your business: when I revoked Ms. Trepe's Instructor license a year ago, Seifer's behavioral problems were one of the main reasons. I also felt I'd made her an Instructor too early in her life, and that she hadn't had enough command experience or maturity to handle the job. She's changed much since then, and I feel that if she can turn Mister Almasy around, she is more than qualified for another chance at being an Instructor."

Squall nodded. "One of her biggest regrets that I remember was losing her Instructor position. I think she'll be a lot happier being one again. And as for me and Seifer, I can't avoid him forever, but I can promise that I won't cause any trouble between the two of us."

Cid smiled and nodded. "If I had any doubt about that, you wouldn't be Commander. Anyway, I know you'd like to get settled in your new apartment with your wife, so I won't keep you. Tomorrow morning I'd like to meet with you at oh-nine hundred hours to get you oriented in your new office with your new duties."

Cid stood up, and Squall followed, saluting him. Cid returned the salute, and shook Squall's hand. "Welcome home, Squall."

*   


Selphie and Irvine had finally left the apartment, and Zell had gone to help teach a combat class. Zell had become somewhat of an icon at Garden, being the best hand-to-hand fighter anyone at Garden had ever known. It had given his ego a boost, but he was still bearable.

Quistis and Rinoa were left to make some attempt to clean up the apartment and make it look less sickeningly sweet. The balloons were the first things to be removed; they just had to decide what to do with them.

"You know, I feel bad about this," said Rinoa. "I mean, Selphie _did_ go to a lot of trouble."

"Yeah, but would you be able to keep your meals down, having to look at all this every day?" asked Quistis, giving a half-smile.

"Good point," said Rinoa. "We'll just have to do something for her to make up. Hey! I have an idea. Let's have Squall decorate their apartment after _they_ get married."

Quistis started laughing. "Yeah, sure. The walls will be plain white with assorted weapons and Griever emblems."

"And don't forget...he'll have a needlepoint just inside the door that says 'Whatever...'"

The women laughed, not noticing that Squall had just entered.

"Or, we could put up a sign on the door that says 'No Meanies Allowed'," Squall said dryly. When Rinoa gave him a hurt look, he started chuckling. Quistis laughed at his joke, and received a smack in the face with a balloon.

Squall looked around the room. _Teddy bears, birds, and pink hearts. I wonder who did this?_ "You sure this isn't Selphie's apartment?"

"Well, she _was_ trying to be nice," said Rinoa. "But I think we'll have to change a little bit of the decorations. Or a lot." She stood up and wrapped her arms around Squall, giving him a quick kiss. "So, how was your meeting with Cid?"

"Well, I have some good news and some bad news," Squall said. "The good news is that I've been promoted to full-time SeeD Commander, mostly I think to help Cid with paperwork. But that means I'll rarely be going away on missions."

"Really? That's great!" said Rinoa, giving him another kiss.

"Congratulations, Commander," said Quistis, standing up. She shook Squall's hand. "It's about time they permanently put you in that position. Cid's been pulling a lot of all-nighters doing paperwork and stuff."

"Great," said Squall. "Now there'll be _two_ of us pulling all-nighters."

"But at least you won't be out on missions all of the time," said Rinoa. "And I can come see you when you're busy."

"Unless you're out on missions..." said Squall.

"Oh, stop it," said Rinoa. "You just got a big promotion, and we're going to be happy, 'k?"

Squall smiled and said, "Ok. How about lunch? My treat."

"Sure!" said Rinoa.

"Yeah, that sounds great!" said Quistis.

"And then we can come back and do something about this, uh...this," said Squall, gesturing to the apartment's decorations.

The three of them left the apartment and headed for the elevator. As they waited for the lift, Rinoa asked, "So, what's the bad news?"

Squall sighed and said, "I heard about the new student that Quistis here is watching over."

Quistis bit her lip. She wasn't looking forward to this. "Yeah, that's right. And he's doing really well, surprisingly."

Rinoa looked at Squall, confused. "Who's the new student? Quisty?" She looked at Quistis.

The elevator arrived, and after the students inside of it left, the three of them entered. Another student tried to get in with them, but Squall held up his hand. The student stopped and nodded, obeying Squall's unspoken order. He stood at attention until the lift doors closed.

"Headmaster Cid told me that Seifer was allowed back into Garden," said Squall. Rinoa looked at him, shocked.

"Seifer? But...he betrayed Garden, tried to kill us all, and then gave me to Adel as a sacrifice when we confronted her! _And they let him back in?_" Her feelings of distrust against Seifer were strong, but she still felt a little conflict, remembering how much she used to care for the young man. She knew that the Seifer they had confronted was not the same Seifer she'd known two summers ago. _But people change, just look at Squall._

"Cid knows," said Quistis. "But Seifer was actually put on trial in Galbadia, and with Edea's testimony that he was under Ultimecia's mind control, he was acquitted. He spent time in Galbadia Garden, then transferred here to get his SeeD. And...he's changed. He still acts cocky and overconfident in himself, but having worked with him the past couple weeks, I think the whole Ultimecia affair changed him. I think he's started to finally grow up."

The elevator reached the first floor, and the door opened. There, standing in front of them, was a trio of Treppies. Quistis put her palm to her forehead, waiting for them to start gushing at her.

"Hey, Ms. Trepe! How are you?"

"Will you have lunch with us, Ms. Trepe?"

"You're looking so _beautiful_ today!" 

Squall glared at the students, stepping between them and Quistis. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Uh, no, sir, we don't," said the female Treppie. "Would it be okay if we...?"

"Ms. Trepe , Mrs. Leonhart, and I are going to an important meeting. Don't disturb us and don't follow us. Is that understood?" Squall's voice sounded as cold as it ever had.

"Y-yes, sir!" said all three.

Squall then escorted Rinoa and Quistis away from the trio, watching them with a stern eye.

Once Squall, Quistis, and Rinoa were out of earshot, the female Treppie said, "You know, Commander Leonhart's really dreamy. It's too bad he's married now."

"Yeah," said one of the male Treppies. His companions gave him a surprised look. "What?"

"Boy, Quisty," said Rinoa. "Must be nice to have a fan club. I usually get glares from female students who think I stole their man from them." She cuddled Squall's arm.

"Whatever," said Squall. "I catch male students checking you out often enough."

Quistis chuckled lightly. "You want my fans? You can have them. Sometimes, they get downright creepy the way they follow my every move."

Rinoa sighed. "At least you don't have to worry about lynch mobs."

Quistis put a hand on Rinoa's shoulder. "Rinny, no one outside of a select few of us knows what you once were. And that's not even an issue now, right?"

Rinoa refused to meet her gaze, but gave a depressed smile. "Hey," continued Quistis, "you're one of us, and we all stand up for each other, right?"

"Right," said Squall.

"Thanks guys. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Probably starve," said Squall, "without your husband there to buy you lunch."

Rinoa and Quistis laughed. They both enjoyed the fact that Squall actually felt comfortable cutting jokes.

_How much he's changed,_ thought both women at the same time. _He really is an amazing man._

_I love him so much,_ thought Rinoa.

_He's a really great friend,_ thought Quistis. _They both are._

*   


"Commander, welcome to your new office." Cid escorted Squall into his new workspace the next morning, a relatively small office located to the right of Cid's office on Garden's third floor.

Squall scanned the room over. Cid had gone to some trouble to have it decorated comfortably, and to have large bay windows installed. _I have a feeling he expects me to be practically living in here,_ thought Squall. _At least the room looks tolerable._ He noticed a door on the right side of the office and walked over to it. Opening it, he saw a modern, professional washroom, complete with shower, toilet, sink, and medicine cabinet. _Good Lord, he _does_ expect me to live here._

"That's just for the long nights, or in case you decide you need a quick shower to freshen up during the day," said Cid. "Just remember, it's not for...you know..." he winked. Squall's cheeks turned red as he looked back at the office.

His eyes fixed on the mahogany desk sitting parallel to the windows at the back of the office. On it were a computer terminal and several stacks of papers. He walked over to the desk, and examined the papers.

"Yes, your duties for today," said Cid, following Squall to the desk. "At first, I'll leave you things to do in the mailbox on your door, or on your desk. As you get more comfortable in the position, I expect you'll be able to keep yourself busy. One thing, though...I'd like you to check the sheet on top of the pile to your left."

Squall picked up the sheet and looked at it. It was entitled "Assistant Instructor Assignment Order". The level circled was "3", and under the "Assignee" header was written "Rinoa Leonhart", with Rinoa's Garden serial number.

Cid smiled when Squall looked back up at him. "You know she's been pestering me about wanting to get training to teach the children here at Garden. Even though she's only been a SeeD for less than a year, I've seen how she deals with children, and she reminds me an awful lot of another ex-sorceress, to whom I am closely acquainted."

_Edea,_ thought Squall. _Cid just gave Rinoa a great compliment._

"Therefore," said Cid, "I've decided to post her as an Assistant Instructor, to give her a feel for the job. If she likes it and does well, I'll send her out for official training at Trabia."

"She'll be...she'll be thrilled," said Squall. "Thank you, sir."

"Well, I just approved it," said Cid, humbly. "You, Commander, are to assign her to an Instructor."

"Do you have any recommendations?" asked Squall.

Cid shrugged. "I think you would know better than I whom she can best work with. I'm sorry to cut your orientation short, but I have to meet with the Finance Director in a few minutes. If you have anything else you need my help with, just punch up my extension, send me an e-mail, or come on in. Good to have you aboard, Commander." With a smile and a nod, Cid walked out of the office.

Squall looked down at the paper in his hand, sighed, and sat down at his desk. He activated his terminal, and punched in his access code. Instead of the standard "Welcome/News" screen that most students and SeeDs see when they log onto the network, he saw a plain gray screen with a function menu on the right. For curiosity's sake, he touched each menu option with his finger, and looked at the many functions that were now available to him.

_SeeD Ranking. Guardian Force Assignment. Disciplinary List._

Squall punched up _Disciplinary List_. The menu shifted out of sight, moving the _Disciplinary List_ title to the top of the screen. Then, a spreadsheet dropped down from the title. In the leftmost column, there were names of various SeeDs, cadets, and faculty. Other columns, further to the left, had titles such as "Referred by Headmaster", "Referred by Garden Master", "Referred by Faculty", "Referred by Instructor", "Referred by Disciplinary Committee", "Infraction", "Recommended Disciplinary Action", and "Action Taken".

_So, this must be the list Seifer was always referring to,_ thought Squall. He scanned the names, and saw a few familiar ones.

_Dincht, Zell_. There was a date under "Referred by Faculty", and he recognized it to be the day after they'd all graduated as SeeDs. Under "Infraction", it said, "Using T-board on Garden grounds (Reg. 86-1A)". "Action Taken" said, "T-board confiscated by Faculty."

_Poor Zell_, thought Squall. _They never gave that back to him._

He scanned further down the list.

He noticed his own name, with one entry. The date was a few months ago, under "Referred by Faculty". "Had a Garden student of opposite sex in his dorm room after hours (Reg. 5-2C)." _Huh? That was one of the first times Rinoa spent the night in my dorm room with me, I think._ "Recommended Action": "Disciplinary probation and loss of rank by three levels". "Action Taken": "Unfounded charge, per Headmaster Kramer. No further charges of this nature will be accepted for this student".

_Huh,_ thought Squall. _They knew she was spending the night with me, not that I care what they thought. Guess Cid decided to give us a little leeway. Looks like we owe him even more than we thought. _

"Enough of this," said Squall to himself. "Time to find Rinoa an Instructor."

*   


Later that evening...

"Well, Seifer," said Quistis, "I just want to let you know you're doing extremely well, and, at this pace, I'm confident you'll pass the field exam with flying colors."

Seifer gave her one of his trademark half-smiles. "Told you I could do it." 

"Just don't get too cocky. Remember how hard a lot of people work to get their SeeD positions."

"I know, I know." Then, changing the subject, "I hear Squall and Rinoa are back, and Squall's Commander now. Wasn't that his position a year ago?"

"Yes, it was," said Quistis, "but he was scaled back to regular SeeD for most of the time because we lost so many battling...Galbadia." _Led by you,_ she barely avoided saying.

"Hm," replied Seifer. "Guess you got a reprieve, Squall."

"What?" asked Quistis.

"If I know Squall, and I do, he hated having to worry about anyone else. He's content to take care of himself, and let everyone else handle their own problems. He only worries about protecting someone that can't fend for themselves, like children or weaklings." Seifer crossed his arms, and looked off into space. "He didn't want to be responsible for leading anyone to danger."

Quistis walked up to where Seifer was sitting, and sat down beside him. "You know him pretty well," she said. "You actually sound like you admire him. I don't understand why you two never got along."

Seifer sat silently for a minute. Then, he simply said, "You wouldn't understand."

Quistis gave a small laugh. When Seifer looked at her questioningly, she said, "In some ways, you two are exact opposites. But in a lot ways, you're just the same. Neither of you like to share your feelings with other people. You both like fighting, and others may not believe this about you personally, but you both have a sense of honor."

_Huh,_ thought Seifer. _If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was attracted to me. Like _that_ would happen._ He stayed silent.

Quistis stood up and turned away from him, realizing how she'd just sounded. _Are you gushing at him, Quisty? Stop it. You _can't_ be attracted to him. He's your student, for all intents and purposes. And he's...well...Seifer._

Finally, Seifer spoke up. "Sounds like you're starting to like me, Quistis," he said. "Who'd have thought?"

Quistis crossed her arms, still turned away from him. She felt her cheekbones grow warm. _Damn, why the hell am I blushing?_ "Don't read too much into it, Seifer. I find you more tolerable now than you were before. Anyway, time's up for tonight. You're dismissed."

Seifer stood up, and said, "Good. It's about time I went to see our illustrious Commander, got a few things straight between us."

Quistis whipped around and stuck a finger in his face. "Seifer, you will _not_ confront Squall! I'm not going to have you throw away your only chance here at Garden so you can resume your petty squabble with him!"

"Hey, calm yourself, Quistis," Seifer said smoothly. "I told you before, I won't do anything stupid. But I still have to settle the score with Squall, and I'd rather do it sooner than later." With that, he walked out the door.

Quistis started to follow, but stopped herself. _No, I can't protect him from himself. If he's determined to get himself thrown out, he'll do it one way or another. Squall can handle him._

*   


When Seifer arrived at the third floor, he stepped out of the elevator and scanned the small lobby area. The large, ornate oak doors ahead of him obviously led to Cid's office. He saw another door to the right of Cid's, and decided to try it.

"Hey, y-you can't come up here without permission!" said Bowler Fisk, from behind his desk. He stood up, but decided not to confront Seifer, who was a head taller than the younger.

"I want to see Commander Leonhart," said Seifer evenly. "You going to stop me?"

For a second, Bowler looked he might try to do just that. Instead, he beeped Squall's desk phone.

Squall was filling out a duty roster sheet. His jacket hung on the back of his chair, and his hair was tousled. _I've seen enough paperwork on just my first day to last me a lifetime,_ he thought. _I need to get out of here._

Just as he finished that thought, his phone rang. _Figures,_ he thought. He hit the speakerphone button and said, "This is Squall."

_"Sir, there's a Mister..."_ started Bowler.

_"Seifer,"_ came another, familiar voice.

_"...Seifer here to see you. He refuses to leave unless he can speak to you."_

Squall put his palm to his forehead. _Great, just the thing to wrap up a wonderful day._

"Bowler," he said, "Please tell Maintenance we need the elevator's third-floor lockout fixed. As for Seifer, let him in."

The door opened, and in strode Seifer, as cocky and condescending as ever. "Well, Commander Leonhart," he said, walking over to Squall's desk. Squall stood up, not sure what to expect from his one-time rival.

"Buried in paperwork, huh?" asked Seifer. "The great Squall Leonhart, world-acclaimed soldier and fighter, is stuck behind a desk. How ironic."

"Seifer, it's late, and I'm tired. Just get to the point or go away."

Seifer smirked. "You never could back down from a challenge."

Squall straightened up, adrenaline beginning to fill his veins. _Don't have my gunblade or GFs with me, and doesn't look like he has his. Is he here to fight me hand-to-hand?_

"I have a score to settle with you, Squall, and I've been waiting a year to do it." With that, Seifer shot out his hand, causing Squall to flinch as tried to dodge the imminent blow. Instead, he saw Seifer's hand was out, palm open. He looked at Seifer's hand, surprised.

"Well, you going to shake it, or just stare at it all night?" asked Seifer. Squall reached out and shook his hand firmly.

"Thanks," said Seifer.

_Thanks? For what?_ "For what?" asked Squall.

"For stopping me before I did something even worse than I'd already done. And for not killing me when you had the chance."

_Kill him?_ thought Squall. _At the time, I had considered the possibility that I would have had to kill him, but I never wanted him dead. True, we thought he'd betrayed us all, and he and I were at each other's throats before that, but I never _actually_ wanted him dead._

"I...I never wanted to kill you, Seifer," said Squall, as the handshake dissolved. "I just wanted you stopped."

"Well, whatever you wanted, you did good," said Seifer, trying not to sound too doting. "That's why I'm here now, and I'm going to earn my SeeD rank, whatever I have to do. Even act like _you_," he smirked again.

"You've changed, Sefier," said Squall. "You never would have talked to me like this before."

"Well, you try going through what I did, and you'd be surprised what changes inside you."

Squall thought about that for a minute. _That's a good point. Could it have as easily been me taken by Ultimecia to be her knight?_ "It's...good to have you on board again, Seifer."

"Thanks," said Seifer. As he started walking out, he said, "But let's not start getting all chummy-chummy. I want a rematch, Leonhart. I think you'll find I've gotten quite a bit better in the past year." With that, he left Squall's office and headed for the elevator.

Squall sat down in his chair for a minute, thinking over Seifer's change, and realizing for the first time since he'd heard Seifer was back at Garden, that Seifer was dead serious about finishing his studies here.

_If he's loyal to us, he could be one of our best allies,_ Squall thought. _Hell, too late to be thinking about this. I'm going home for the evening._ He got up, grabbing his jacket, and left his office, locking the door behind him.

_Seifer or no Seifer, I'm going to try to enjoy my life._

  
  



	8. Chapter 7: At What Cost?

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and everything related is property of SquareSoft. So there.

Author's note: Sorry about the formatting problems...I'm not sure what happened. I hope this looks better!

  
  
  


Chapter 7: At What Cost?  
Scene: Headmaster Cid's Office  
Five Months Later

  
  


Squall stood in his SeeD uniform next to Zell, whom he'd recently appointed his Deputy Commander. Zell, also in his SeeD uniform, fidgeted uncomfortably. _I can't believe we're here for this. I honestly never thought I'd see this day._ He glanced at Zell, who snapped back to attention, waiting for the short ceremony to begin. _Even though they're not at each other's throats anymore, Zell still isn't too keen on Seifer. Some wounds heal slowly._

He then looked over at Quistis, on the opposite side of the office. She stood at attention, but had the proudest smile that he had ever seen her wear. Of course, he knew exactly why she was so proud. At the end of this ceremony she would be receiving her Instructor's license again.

He then looked at the line of six SeeD graduates that stood before them. They had quite a varied crew this time. A good, well-rounded skill set, which would help in continuing to restore SeeD's ranks.

Cid stood proudly in his white shirt, slacks, tie, and red vest, his hands clasped behind his back. He adjusted his small glasses, spread his arms, and said, "On behalf of myself and all SeeDs worldwide, I wish to welcome you all to the ranks of SeeD, the elite mercenary force of the Gardens! From here on out, you will be dispatched all over the world, defending the people from oppression and fear. It is with great honor that I present your final grade reports and SeeD ranking."

Squall moved to Cid's side, carrying six ornate blue binders. They approached the first graduate in line, a tall young woman of seventeen with a calculating look on her face.

Squall handed him the top blue binder, and Cid handed it to the young woman, saying to her, "Remember to trust your instincts as well as your intellect." The woman nodded.

Cid and Squall went across the line of students, Cid handing them each their grade report as he offered them words of advice and encouragement.

"Don't forget that you rely on your teammates as much as they rely on you."

"Your father must be very proud of you."

"I can't wait to see your planned improvements to the computer system."

"Never be afraid of fear, just remember that you can control it."

Finally, they reached the last student in line. He stood out from the rest of the group, being the tallest and most muscular of them. He also looked to be the most mature, and was certainly the oldest of the six. However, he had chosen to leave his tan trench coat in his dormitory, opting to look as official as possible for his field exam. His last chance at redemption, he had told Quistis.

Squall handed Cid the final grade report, and Cid in turn handed it to Seifer, with much relish. "I knew you could do it, son. Just remember to keep yourself disciplined, and you will go far."

Seifer smiled and nodded, and glanced at Squall. Six months ago, he'd have expected the Commander to be glaring at him, unbelieving of Seifer's success. However, he saw a small, satisfied smile on Squall's face. _I guess time changes everybody,_ he thought.

Cid and Squall walked away from Seifer and returned to the center of the office. Cid said, "I would also like to take this time to recognize Quistis Trepe. Ms. Trepe, front and center."

Quistis marched around Cid and stopped in front of him, facing the older gentleman. She saluted him, and he returned the salute.

"For excellence in her actions, bravery and cool-headedness in battle, and compassion for her colleagues, I hereby present Quistis Trepe with her Instructor's license." Cid handed her a framed document, grinning proudly at her. "Instructor Trepe, congratulations."

"Thank you, sir," she said saluting him again. When Cid returned the salute, she turned to her right and returned to the spot where she'd been standing before.

Cid addressed the graduates again. "I wish to once again congratulate you all for your hard work, dedication, and perseverance. As you know, the Graduation Ball starts in a few hours. We would like for you all to attend, enjoy yourselves, and get a chance to meet your fellow SeeDs. Now, though, it's time for you to join your former classmates, where you will tell them about what it's like to be a new SeeD. It won't be long before some of them are standing here, receiving this honor. Once again, welcome! Dismissed."

The graduates, including Seifer, all turned around and left the office. Once they were gone, Cid closed the doors using the remote control on his desk.

Squall and Zell went over to Quistis, giving her warm handshakes and hugs. "Congratulations, Quisty," said Squall. "You've definitely earned it."

"Yeah," said Zell. "I still can't believe you got Sefier to behave himself."

"Well, if anyone could, it's this young woman," said Cid. "Now, I'm sorry to push you out, Zell and Quistis, but I need to discuss some business with Squall. A new mission that should be perfect for some of our new SeeDs."

"Yes, sir," said Zell and Quistis, who exited the office a second later.

"'Perfect for some of our new SeeDs?' Sounds like you mean Seifer," said Squall.

Cid shrugged. "He's been cooped up in Garden for a long time. I can tell he's itching for a mission, and this will let him stretch his legs a little."

Squall gave a small smile. "I have a feeling he'll like it."

*   
  


That evening, Quistis entered the Garden ballroom. She wore a red knee-length skirt with silver trim, somewhat revealing at the bust, with cross straps in the back. Her hair was down below her shoulders in flowing golden curls, thanks to the visiting Rinoa.

Just after she entered the room, she saw her friends congregating near the refreshment table. She strode across the room and joined them.

"Hey, Quisty!" said Zell, holding a glass of champagne. 

"Come on over, Instructor!" Zell's girlfriend, Christine, looked over at her and smiled.

Quistis smiled back at her. Christine was a shy young lady who had graduated a few months ago. Before that, she and Zell had been dating since just after he himself had graduated. She was very nice to Zell's friends, but was too shy to let them really get to know her.

"Hey, Quisty," said Rinoa. "Like the hair."

"Thanks," replied Quistis. "It's one of the things I've missed about you since you've been gone."

"It's only for another month, thank God," replied Rinoa. "When it's over, I will be a full-fledged Children's Instructor. And speaking of which, congratulations on your promotion!"

"Now we have to get used to calling her 'Instructor Trepe' again," said Squall. He took a sip of the champagne in his glass.

Quistis' eyes traveled down to Rinoa's stomach. Rinoa had done a good job of selecting a gown that all but made invisible her swelling abdomen. "How's little Alexa doing?"

Rinoa smiled and placed a hand on her stomach. "She's doing fine. Luckily, she hasn't started keeping me up late at night yet. But, there's still four months left for that." She sipped from her water glass.

"I'm surprised Selphie and Irvine aren't doing that. Were they able to come back from Trabia with you?" asked Quistis.

Rinoa shook her head. "Selphie's working on getting her Instructor's license, and Irvine got sent out on a mission a couple days ago. But they seem to be enjoying the time they do have together. They miss us all a lot, but they're pretty happy living there. Selphie loves being able to spend time with the friends she'd left behind."

Quistis nodded. She started scanning the ballroom, looking for someone. _Where is he? I'm kind of surprised he isn't here. At the very least, to gloat to everyone that he made it._

"Looking for Seifer?" asked Squall.

"Yeah, I figured he'd be here. I haven't gotten a chance to congratulate him in person."

"He'll show up, if I know Seifer," said Squall. "At least to show off."

Quistis' eyes stopped when they reached the doors to the balcony. The doors were mostly closed, but she could just see a familiar figure outside, wearing a tan trench coat.

"I think I see him," said Quistis, quietly.

"Come on, Squall," said Rinoa, grabbing his arm. "'Waltz for the Moon' is coming on. Let's dance."

"Wait, let me put down my...whoa!" he nearly dropped his champagne glass on the floor as Rinoa signaled Christine.

"Oh, oh, yeah, I see," said Christine, starting to pull Zell toward the dance floor. "Come on Zell, we should go dance, too."

"Hey, don't have to twist _my_ arm!" said Zell, putting down his glass and letting his girlfriend pull him out onto the floor. 

Squall was able to hand off his glass to a waitress before they reached the dancing mob.

"Just like our first dance," said Rinoa.

"Yeah, I just hope you don't run off to talk to Cid halfway through."

Rinoa laughed as she wrapped her arms around Squall's neck and they started swaying to the music. "Nah, you're much cuter than he is. Besides, you're dancing much better this time."

Quistis walked around the dancers, milling SeeDs, and lone wolves, until she reached the balcony. Instead of opening the door and going outside, though, she stood and waited. _Is he talking to someone?_ she thought. She decided to listen for a minute.

Seifer leaned on the balcony railing, looking out at the night sky. He'd gotten himself a small glass of whiskey, but hadn't touched it. Drinking wasn't fun anymore.

Instead, he scanned the Alcauld Plains around Garden. He could see the silhouettes of some roaming monsters on the snow-covered ground below, none venturing too close to Garden's protective rings. He sighed. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be a monster, roaming free, just attacking anyone who comes close, and not caring whether or not your comrades die, so long as you survive.

He shook his head. "Yeah, right," he said out loud. He didn't imagine that he could ever _not_ care. _Everybody thinks of me as this callous, overbearing jerk. Not that I really care what they think. No,_ he corrected himself, _that's a lie. I do care what some people think. Is that weakness? Or am I just tired of being alone?_

_That's your own fault, Seifer,_ he thought. _You got too cocky, and the only ones that mattered to you, to whom you mattered, paid the price._ Now here he was, doing what he had thought impossible less than a year ago. Living a life that he thought was better than he deserved.

"I made it, guys," he said. "I wish you could be here to see me." He looked down at his glass again, and decisively swallowed the contents in one gulp. _At least they bought good whiskey for this party,_ he thought, setting the glass down on the floor. He wouldn't go back for seconds.

"Seifer?"

Seifer turned around slowly and saw the most gorgeous creature standing before him. Wearing a slightly revealing red dress with silver accents, and with her hair flowing gracefully in golden curls, she looked to him to be an angelic cruise ship stewardess.

He chuckled at himself. _That's the worst analogy you've ever come up with, Seifer,_ he thought.

"What's so funny?" asked Quistis.

Seifer's smile faded. "Nothing. I'm just...thinking."

Quistis approached Seifer, warmly looking into his eyes. "Someone else I know used to do too much thinking. All that does is make you sad, and keep you from enjoying life."

Seifer turned away, leaning on the railing again. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind, Instructor."

Quistis walked to the railing beside him, pushing aside his glass with the toe of her strappy shoe. "Seifer," she said, "I never got a chance to congratulate you. You did extremely well in the exam today. I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks," replied Seifer, not looking at her. "And, congratulations on your promotion."

"Thanks," replied Quistis. "I have you to thank for it."

Seifer shook his head. "I'm the one that got you fired, remember?"

Quistis sighed. "Seifer, I shouldn't have put that on you. I was angry with you, and I did blame you some for it, but it was really my fault. I was too young and inexperienced to be a good Instructor. In a way, _your_ not making it was _my_ fault."

Seifer waved his hand, but still didn't look at her. "We could go on like that all night, and I don't really want to do the blame game thing."

Quistis nodded and leaned onto the railing, looking out at whatever Seifer was watching. She shivered slightly when some cold winter air slipped through the heat shield that protected Garden's balcony. _The thermal shield glitched again,_ she thought. _I hope they remembered to close the door to the Quad, so the cold doesn't get into the corridors._ The shield was supposed to prevent the open-air sections of Garden from freezing up, but it blinked out often.

Seifer saw her react to the cold. In a gentlemanlike manner, he removed his trench coat and placed it around Quistis. She wrapped it around herself, absorbing the little bit of Seifer's warmth that had stayed in the coat. She looked at him inquisitively, asking silently if he would be cold. He shook his head. Wearing his new SeeD uniform, he figured he'd be warm enough if the heat shield failed again. They both looked back out at the snowfields.

Silence passed for a few minutes. Then, Seifer snuck a look at Quistis. _God, she's gorgeous. I'm really starting to think she likes me. Who'd have thought that? I don't know. It would be nice not to have to be alone anymore. I mean, Squall and I seem to be getting along okay, but I don't think he'd ever accept me as a friend. Zell probably still wants to cold-cock me. And Rinoa...she's nice, but she should hate me for everything I did to her. Plus, she's so wrapped up in Squall and becoming a teacher, she probably doesn't have room for an old friend._

Quistis turned her head slightly, and caught Seifer looking at her. He quickly turned his head away, forcing a small smile onto Quistis' lips. _He was looking at me. What does that mean? I'm attracted to him, but I don't want to make the same mistake I did with Squall._

_Don't forget,_ she replied to herself, _Seifer actually treats you like a person, not as an annoyance, like Squall used to._

Quistis sighed. "I heard you talking a few minutes ago. I figured you were with someone else out here."

Seifer hesitated for a second. Then he said, "Nope, just me and the night out here."

"I heard you say 'I made it guys. I wish you could be here to see me.' Were you talking to Fujin and Raijin?" She turned to face him.

Seifer still leaned on the railing, but lowered his head and shut his eyes. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

"I think you do," said Quistis. "Seifer, you're lonely. I know what it looks like because I know how it feels. Please. Please tell me what you've been hiding inside."

Seifer sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "All right, Quistis. Fine. You wanna hear my sob story? After you guys saved the world from Ultimecia, I felt control of myself return. I realized what I'd done, what I'd been manipulated into doing, and I hated myself for it. I nearly turned myself over to the authorities, wanting to be executed to put an end to my misery. Instead, though, I met back up with Fujin and Raijin in Balamb. They didn't care what I'd done, and they believed me when I told them I couldn't stop myself from doing it. We became a posse again.

"I had some money left over from when I...when Ultimecia made me the General of the Galbadian forces. It wasn't a whole lot, but enough for us to get started on a new life. We started traveling to small countries around the world, working as mercenaries. Galbadia had a bounty on my head, but none of the places we went to wanted to do them any favors, no matter how much money they'd get for turning me over. 

"We did small jobs for Dollet, Winhill; you name it, we went there. We worked out how to live off the land, and believe it or not, Raijin actually learned how to catch edible fish." He laughed. "So we were able to save up a lot of money, which those two goofballs insisted we'd use on my defense if and when we returned to Galbadia.

"Well, a couple months after we started on our own, we were hired by Timber to hunt down a dangerous guy by the name of Marv Oberlin. The guy was a killer and a rapist, basically a really bad guy. Raijin was kinda nervous about going after a guy like that, no matter how high the bounty was, but I told him we could handle it. Fujin, she just said 'FOLLOW' and came with me. Raijin came too.

"We hunted this guy for about two days in the woods around Timber. Finally, we spotted him trying to get up a steep hill, probably trying to cross over into Galbadia. Between the three of us, we were able to chase the guy down and subdue him pretty easily, or so we thought.

"What we didn't know was that he was a master of concealed weapons. We got his shotgun from him, but he had these knives built into the toes of his boots. He took a swipe at me, cut my leg, and sent me falling down the hill. When I stopped from falling and got back up, I saw him pull a small gun from his sleeve and shoot Fujin and Raijin dead."

Quistis gasped and brought her hands up to her mouth. _My God!_ she thought. She hadn't much cared for Seifer's posse when they were at Garden, but she never wanted them to die. And she could see how much their deaths had torn Seifer apart, down to his very soul. 

Seifer continued, "He...he started to run back up the hill, but I was furious that he'd hurt them. I took a small dagger that I had on me, and threw it at him, hoping to hit him in the leg or something to take him down. My aim was too good. It hit him right in the back of his head, at the base of his skull. Killed him instantly, and he went down the hill too.

"Fujin and Raijin both got caught up in some trees when they fall, so I had to go back up the hill to reach them. Raijin...Raijin h-had..." He stopped for a second, trying to strengthen himself. "Raijin had been shot right between the eyes, and he'd died instantly. Fujin, though, took it in the chest, right through the heart. She lived for a few minutes longer. I tried to stop the bleeding, even tried Curaga spells, but no matter what I did, I saw her get paler and weaker. Before she..she died, she said to me, 'It was fun, Seifer.' She closed her eye, and she was gone. They were all I had left, and they were _gone!_"

Quistis nearly melted with sorrow for the man that stood before her. She'd had no idea of the pain he was carrying through him.

Seifer continued, his voice as devoid of emotion as he could muster, "It took me two whole days of digging with my gunblade to make their graves on top of that hill. After that, I carried Oberlin to Timber's authorities, dropped him on their doorstep, and left. I didn't want the bounty. It was meaningless to me after I lost my posse...my friends. I went back to Galbadia and gave myself up for trial. I hoped it would be a quick trial, and that they'd execute me for crimes against the state. But Edea somehow heard about the trial, and came to testify on my behalf. I don't know how, but she got them to acquit me.

"I could have gone and cleared my name weeks before that, and Fujin, Raijin, and I would still be together. Maybe we'd all be here tonight, all graduated as SeeDs." He shook his head. "I took all the money we had saved up and bribed Headmaster Martine to let me come back. He said he would have done it without the bribe, but took the money anyway, calling it 'tuition'. I think he pocketed it. Anyway, this is what Fujin and Raijin wanted for me, to get into SeeD. So here I am now."

Quistis' heart bled for Seifer. All the pain, all the loss, how could he have kept it inside all this time? She moved closer to him and took his hand into hers. He was turned away from her, but she could see tears running down his cheek. She raised a hand, wiped away some of them, and turned his head to face her. She then kissed him on the forehead, and looked into his eyes with sympathy. _Am I feeling what I think I'm feeling?_ she asked herself.

Seifer looked into her eyes. _She...kissed me? What does it mean? I've been so alone...I don't know...Does she...?_

Seifer placed his hand on her cheek. Her eyes closed, and she leaned into his touch, enjoying it. His other arm went around her waist, and she ran her hands up to his shoulders. She now saw not the cocky young man that had betrayed them all, but a vulnerable, lonely man who needed love. Her love.

Seifer, for the first time, saw her not as his superior officer, but as a woman that needed love as much as he did. He felt her tremble under his touch, and knew at that point what they both needed.

They drew each other together, and kissed gently. Quistis suddenly felt fear. Fear of loving this man. Fear of herself. But instead of breaking the kiss, she wrapped her arms around him and held him tighter.

Seifer's heart skipped a beat as he felt her squeeze him tighter. He crossed his arms around her back, holding onto her for dear life, afraid to let this moment slip away.

_Quistis, what have you done to me? I feel so...so alive, like I never have before._

_Seifer, how did I never know you were such a tenderhearted man? I must have been blind all the time I knew you._

_Is this a dream? Then I never want to wake up._

_Is this a dream? Then I want to sleep forever._

They kept their lips locked together for what seemed like an eternity, not wanting to separate, even to breathe. If they did, they were both afraid that the dream would end.

*   


Quistis awoke in her bed the next morning, feeling refreshed and alive like never before. She got out of bed, her silk nightgown brushing sensually against her skin. She clasped her hands against her chest and closed her eyes, reliving last night.

After they had finished kissing, Seifer had shyly turned away from her. Concerned that he regretted their kiss, she asked him what was wrong. He looked at her, and said he'd never been so happy in his entire life. She told him the same thing and, arm-in-arm, they went back into the ballroom to dance away the few remaining hours of the evening. She was the envy of every woman at the Ball.

That had been her dream. In reality, after their kiss ended, Seifer walked away from her. She tried to stop him, asking him what was wrong. He stopped for a second, and without looking at her, told her that he couldn't, that it wouldn't be fair to _them_ if he were happy after he caused their deaths. He ran off, leaving her alone on the balcony. She just spent the next few minutes out there alone, crying, still wearing his coat. Finally, she left the ball, ignoring her friends' inquiries as to what was wrong.

She went to his dorm and knocked on the door, hoping to get him to talk to her. When he didn't answer, she hung his coat on the doorknob and headed for her own room. When she'd gotten here, she decided to relish the moment she'd shared with Seifer, instead of the pain of his leaving so suddenly. She'd put on her silk nightgown and fantasized about how the night could have gone.

Quistis looked at herself in her vanity mirror. She felt tears try to push themselves out of her eyes, but she forced them to stay put.

_Seifer does love me,_ she thought. _A man can lie with his words or his touch, but not with his kiss. He does love me. And I love him._

That thought made her shiver. She'd said those words about Squall before, but it had only ended up causing her more heartache than she'd had the strength to bear. _But Squall never returned my love,_ she thought. _Seifer did. I_ know _it._

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. Today was her first day as an Instructor again, and she would be receiving her assignment this morning. She wanted to make sure she was on the ball, because this time, she was going to stay an Instructor for good.

*   


Seifer sat in the SeeD car on the train bound for Dollet. He played with his Hyperion gunblade, constantly loading and re-loading it. One of his companions, Gelessa Coltrain, who'd been a SeeD for nearly a year, was their squad captain, but she seemed a little uneasy with the job. The other, Bradden Finch, leaned back with his hands behind his head. Bradden had graduated with Seifer just yesterday, and seemed pretty sure of himself.

_He should,_ thought Seifer. _This is a cake mission. Probably just to break in two new SeeDs, and one new Captain. Can't complain, though. At least it got me out of Garden so I can think._

He still didn't know what to make of his encounter with Quistis the night before. He'd started gushing, partly because he was tired of her hounding him about Fujin and Raijin, but mostly because he wanted to finally get that all off his chest. He'd embarrassed himself so much when he started crying. _Seifer Almasy never cries. Especially not in front of a woman._

_Then again,_ he thought, _would I have cried like that if she were Rinoa? Or any other woman? I doubt it. Quistis and I grew kind of close while she was getting me ready for graduation, but I didn't think we'd gotten that close. But that kiss, that was something. While we kissed, I could have sworn I heard a voice in my head say 'You love this woman.' But I can't...I mean, she's...Quistis. She was my Instructor. But...she's my age. Would it be so bad for me to be in love, I mean _really_ be in love?_

Seifer decided to stop thinking for a while. _Quistis was right, all that does is bring you down._ He set his Hyperion down on the couch and leaned back, mimicking Bradden's position.

Gelessa had been wringing her hands in her lap, as if she was about to make a speech to the entire world. This was her first SeeD mission as Captain, and she wanted to do her best. She moved closer to Seifer, hoping a little conversation would ease her nerves.

"Hey, Seifer," she said, her voice slightly shaky. "So, I hear you're friends with the Commander, right?"

Seifer ignored her and shut his eyes. _This isn't what I need right now. Some babbling bimbo trying to make small talk._

"You know," Gelessa continued, "I took the field exam with his wife, Rinoa. She was my Squad Captain. I don't think I would have passed without her help."

"Mm-hmm," said Seifer, finally acknowledging her presence. He hoped that his response would get her to go away, but it seemed to actually empower her more.

"So that scar you have, Commander Leonhart gave that to you, didn't he? And then you, like gave him one?"

Seifer rolled his eyes under his eyelids. _This kid won't go away, will she?_ "No, I gave him his scar, and then he gave me mine. Not that it's your business."

"Oh," said Gelessa. Then, changing the subject, she said, "So, they're having a real problem with monsters in Dollet, huh? A lot of Anacondours and stuff they want cleaned out of the communications tower?"

"If that's what it says in the mission profile, then that's it," said Seifer. He finally turned away from her, determined to ignore any more attempts at conversation.

Gelessa, finally getting the message that Seifer didn't want to talk, moved back to her end of the couch. She inspected her gauntlets and shin guards, making sure they were secure. As a hand-to-hand combat expert, she needed the guards to make sure she didn't destroy the skin on her hands and legs when she attacked any foes. When she was satisfied they were secure, she stood up and started to perform a kata, trying to focus herself in her form and not in her first-command jitters. 

Seifer caught a glance of her taking swings in the air, and he just shook his head and sighed. _Great, another Chicken-Wuss that swats at flies all day. I just can't win, can I?_

*   


Quistis walked into Cid's office, having showered and dressed. She wore her Instructor's uniform, and her hair was bound in a bun at the top of her head, as usual.

"Good morning, Instructor," said Cid, standing up behind his desk. "I'm sure you're eager to get started with your classes."

"Yes, sir, I'm very excited about it," Quistis said honestly.

Cid motioned for her to sit, and then sat down after she did. He handed her a class roster. "Your first sessions will be GFs and Junctioning. Your class will be first-year candidates, within the 14- to 15-year-old range. Most of them have had practice with basic junctioning of GFs, but don't have any magic to their names. Will you be able to start teaching them tomorrow morning at oh-eight-hundred?"

"Yes, sir!" said Quistis enthusiastically. She was extremely excited to begin teaching again.

"Excellent. By the way, I'd just like to congratulate you once again on how you've turned Seifer around. I've gotten so many comments about how much more well behaved he is toward his fellow students, and toward his superiors. He definitely earned his graduation yesterday."

"Thank you, sir," said Quistis. "Actually, I do have a question about Seifer. When is his first mission? I would think it'd be appropriate for me to see him off."

Cid tilted his head, "Oh, I'm sorry, Quistis. He already left early this morning with Gelessa Coltrain and Bowler Finch on a mission to Dollet. I didn't think to tell you so you could see your student off."

Quistis head dropped slightly. "No, it's all right, sir. He doesn't need me holding his hand all the way. I know he'll do well."

*   


Rinoa stood in the living room of her and Squall's apartment, folding her last pair of pants. She placed it in her daypack and sighed. _Can't believe I have to go back already. I really miss everyone here. At least I get to see Selphie and Irvine when they're not busy._

There was a knock at the door. "Come in," said Rinoa. To her delight, Quistis entered the room. "Hey, Quisty! Come to see me off?"

Quistis walked over to her and gave her a hug. "I've hardly gotten a chance to see you while you're here."

Rinoa sighed again. "I know. They could only give me a couple days to come back for the Ball. But I had to come. After all, every Ball is kind of like an anniversary for Squall and me."

Quistis smiled and looked at the floor. "Yeah, I remember you dragging him onto the dance floor, kicking and screaming all the way, that first time."

"I've almost broken him, though. Not much kicking and screaming last night."

They both laughed for a second. Then, Quistis said, "Where's Squall?"

Rinoa sighed. "Oh, he's getting me some lunch from the cafeteria. He doesn't want me to do any unnecessary walking, so I don't strain my back or anything. I think he's afraid that because I'm pregnant I'm suddenly made of glass."

"He just loves you a lot, and wants the best for you. And for Alexa. Besides, I hear that husbands often baby their wives when they're pregnant."

"Well, he doesn't have to. After all, I'm..." she stopped just short of saying 'I'm a sorceress'. Instead, she said, "I'm in tip-top shape, and I have to handle Trabia's winter for the next month, which is way worse than Balamb's."

Quistis nodded. "So you'll be back for good in about a month, right?"

"Yeah," said Rinoa. "Training is fun, because I get to work with so many different kids, but I'll be glad when I can come back home. Selphie and Irv will miss me, though."

"Well, we miss you here. When you're gone, it's just me, Squall, and Zell. Not much of the old crew left."

_What about Seifer?_ thought Rinoa. "How's Seifer enjoying life as a SeeD?"

Quistis crossed her arms, and her expression grew a little darker. "Don't know. I haven't seen him. He left early this morning on his first mission. With your friend Gelessa, by the way."

Rinoa tilted her head. "Oh, Gelessa! She's a little nervous sometimes, but she's a good kid. He's in good hands."

Quistis sighed and sat down on the couch. Rinoa's face turned into concern, and she sat down next to her friend. "Quisty, what's wrong?"

"I...I don't know how to tell you this, but it's tearing me up inside. I'm in...love, Rinny." Quistis brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"Oh, congratulations, Quisty!" said Rinoa, trying to lift her friend's mood. "Who is it? Is it Nida?"

Quistis frowned for a second, and then let out a chuckle. "No, it's not Nida. I don't think he's into...you know...women."

"Ah," said Rinoa, nodding understandingly. "Zell?"

"C'mon, Rinny, I'm being serious," said Quistis, trying to suppress a giggle. _I knew she'd help cheer me up._

"Well, I never thought I'd see you fall for Seifer, but even I've noticed a change in him since he came back. And I don't see him very much," said Rinoa, as if she'd planned this statement ahead of time.

Quistis looked at her friend, surprised. "Is it that obvious?"

"Come on, Quisty. You've spent practically every evening for the last five months with him. You started out hating his guts, but by the time his field exam came around, you were telling everyone about how well he was doing, how respectful he'd gotten, how hard he was working...I knew you were getting a crush on him." Rinoa put her arm around Quistis and pulled her friend over to lean on her shoulder. 

"I...I just don't think it's a crush, Rinny," said Quistis, her lower lip trembling slightly. "I mean, I think he cares for me, too. I guess."

Rinoa brushed some errant strands of golden hair out of Quistis' face. "I think there's something between you two. Last night, we all saw him storm from the balcony out of the ballroom, like he was about to cry. Seifer, about to cry. It would take an act of God, or of love, to do that to him. Then, a few minutes later, we saw _you_ practically run out of there, crying."

Quistis let out a small, embarrassed whine. Rinoa continued, "The guys thought Seifer said something snide to you, and they were going to go tell him off. It was all I could do to get them to cool it. I was actually hoping I'd get a chance to see you before I left today, so we could talk about it. So, what happened?"

Quistis sighed. "Well, the whole thing was almost surreal, like Seifer was a whole different person. He was out on the balcony, talking to himself, when I went out to meet him."

"Seifer talks to himself?" asked Rinoa. _Wow, he and Squall really _are_ a lot alike._

Quistis nodded, then continued, "He'd only had one drink, as far as I could tell, so I know the whole thing wasn't because of the booze. We congratulated each other on his graduation and my promotion, and then just kinda looked out into the night for a little while. Then I asked him who he'd been talking to, and he just said it was nobody.

"I'd asked him before that night about why he came back, but Fujin and Raijin didn't. He just avoided the question, very Squall-like. Last night, though, I pushed him for an answer, and he told me how he met up with them after Ultimecia's control over him was released. They worked as mercenaries for a lot of the smaller nations. Then, when they were in Timber, about nine months ago, they took a job to hunt down this one really dangerous guy. When they found him, he knocked Seifer down and shot and killed Fujin and Raijin."

Rinoa brought her hands to her mouth, much as Quistis had done when she'd first heard the story. "Oh, no!"

Quistis nodded. "Seifer killed the guy, and buried Fujin and Raijin out there. Then he turned himself into Galbadia for trial, hoping they'd execute him. Instead, thanks to Edea, he was acquitted, and he decided all he had left was to come back to Garden and try one more time to graduate. He said that's what Fujin and Raijin would have wanted for him."

Quistis crossed her arms around her chest, suddenly feeling cold. "After he told me that, I just felt so sorry for him, for carrying around that guilt with him, on top of the guilt for everything he did under Ultimecia's control. I took him in close, and I kissed his forehead. I don't know if it was just to give him sympathy, or if it was more than that, but we ended up kissing each other, holding on for dear life to each other. It was..it was magic. You know how they say you can tell if a man loves you by how he kisses you?"

"Yeah," said Rinoa, thinking back to her and Squall's first kiss, about a year and a half ago.

"Well, he loved me. I don't have a doubt in my mind about it. I've kissed other guys before, but this one was totally different, like our souls connected. But then, he just...he just ran off, saying it wouldn't be fair to them if he were happy after he caused their deaths."

"He blames himself," said Rinoa. "But, it wasn't his fault, I mean, Fujin and Raijin were followers, but they were adults. They could fend for themselves. Seifer shouldn't blame himself because they were devoted to him."

"I know it, Rinny," said Quistis. "But how do I let him know that? I can't make him be happy, and I can't take another heartbreak, but I also can't deny that I'm in love with him."

Rinoa sighed. Her heart ached for her friend, but she didn't know what she could do. "Maybe you already took the first step, and got him to open up to you. If you build on that, maybe he'll learn to let you help him be happy and move on with his life."

Just then, the door opened. Squall carried in a tray loaded with hot dogs and chicken sandwiches. He also carried two bottles of water under his arm.

"Hey, Quisty, what's up?" he asked, setting the try down on the coffee table. "Want to have lunch with us?"

Quistis smiled. "Thanks, Squall, but I really should get going. I have my first class tomorrow, and I need to get ready for it." She got up and walked past Squall toward the door. She stopped for a second, and turned around toward Rinoa. "Thanks, Rinny, I really appreciate it. I'm going to miss you so much."

Rinoa smiled. "If you ever need to talk, just call me, or come and visit if you can. I'll always be here for you, Quisty."

Quistis smiled, turned, and left the apartment. Squall looked at Rinoa and asked, "Is Quisty okay? Did you find out what happened last night?"

"Yeah," said Rinoa, taking a chicken sandwich off the tray and examining it. "But I really can't talk about it. Girl stuff, you know." She winked at Squall as she took a healthy bite of the sandwich.

Squall crossed his arms and shook his head. _Women,_ he thought.

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 8: No Man Is An Island

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and all related things belong to SquareSoft. As if you didn't already know

  
  
  


Chapter 8: No Man Is An Island  
Setting: Balamb Garden Classroom 204  
Nine Days Later

  


"Class, our time is up for today. I want you to study your notes on using the Draw ability, and meet me in the Training Center corridor tomorrow morning at oh-eight-hundred. You'll be practicing what you've learned by drawing some basic magic from some of the weaker monsters in the Training Center. 

"But I want to make one thing crystal clear," she said, glaring at each of her 11 students to make sure she had their attention. "You will _not_ go to the Training Center tonight and try to Draw your own magic. I don't care if you've gone in there and fought them before, drawing magic leaves you vulnerable to attack, and you _will_ be hurt and _can_ be killed if you don't know what you're doing. And any part of you that survives will be punished severely. Understood?"

She was satisfied to see the understanding gazes of her students. "Good. Then I will see you bright and early tomorrow morning. Class dismissed."

The students all got out of their seats, grabbed their books, and filed out the door. As they worked their way out of the room, Squall walked in.

"That was a little harsher than I remember you being, Quist," he said, leaning against one of the student terminals and crossing his arms.

"Maybe," said Quistis, sitting down behind her desk. "But then again, I remember a young future Commander that went off to practice Drawing some magic from a herd of Grats, when he was about their age. And if I recall, he spent a week in the infirmary. If there's one thing I learned from teaching you and Seifer, it's that you can never put enough stress on being careful with your life and the lives of your companions."

Squall nodded thoughtfully, stroking the diagonal scar that crossed his brow. _That's a lesson that Seifer and I never learned very well._

"Speaking of which, he's due back from Dollet today." Squall uncrossed his arms and rested his elbows on top of the terminals behind him. "They think they've eliminated all the nests. But the Dollet army plans to take over the cleanup job, I think mainly because they didn't want to pay us any more money."

Quistis was absentmindedly flipping through her lesson planner, ignoring Squall's summary of the mission. _I know he'll be back,_ she thought. _But I don't know what I'll do when he gets back._

"Quist, I know something happened between you and Seifer at the Ball last week. I have a feeling you told Rinoa, but she wouldn't tell me anything about it before she left for Trabia. As SeeD Commander, I need to know if it's something that will interfere with either of your duties. But," he said, walking over to her and kneeling down to meet her at eye level, "as your friend, I want to know if there's some way I can help you. You watched out for me all these years that we've been at Garden together. At least let me try to pay you back for it."

Quistis sighed. "Squall, that's the kind of request I'd wanted to hear from you for years."

Squall lowered his head. He felt returning pangs of guilt for how much he'd hurt Quistis when she'd needed his support a couple years ago.

"You're probably the closest thing Seifer has to a friend, Squall, but if I tell you this, you have to promise never to tell him."

Squall nodded. _Seifer and me, friends? Don't know if I'd go that far. We've learned to tolerate each other, and actually have occasional conversations without hurling insults._

"The night of the Ball, Seifer and I kissed," said Quistis. "We'd been growing closer the more time we spent together, and I saw how much he had matured. I thought it was just a crush at first, but after we kissed, I wasn't so sure. But then…after we kissed, he just walked away. The problem is, I never saw him after that, before he left on his mission, so I don't know if it meant anything to _him_ or not."

"Do you know why he walked away?" asked Squall.

"I think he's punishing himself because he thinks it's his fault that Raijin and Fujin are dead." Quistis shivered lightly, remembering her reaction when Seifer had told her.

Squall twitched when he heard that. _Dead? I never heard anything about their deaths! _"My God," said Squall, "I didn't know they were dead! I…I never liked them very much, but…did he tell you how they died?"

Quistis sighed again. "Yes, he did. I'd rather not tell you, because I don't want to think about it. But, you need to know."

She told Squall the whole story Seifer had told her. As she did so, Squall looked away, obviously very distressed. He was now starting to understand why Seifer had humbled himself so much over the past several months, to make sure he made it to SeeD.

"And then after he finished," Quistis continued, "I kissed him. The first kiss was on his forehead, because I wanted to let him know how sorry I was. Then, we just looked at each other for a minute, and we kissed. I mean, it wasn't the kind of thing I could mistake. It was real, and I felt it down to my soul. And I felt his soul pouring out through his touch. Do you understand what I mean?"

_That sounds an awful lot like the first time Rinoa and I kissed._ "Yeah, I think so," he replied.

"But," continued Quistis, tapping her fingers on the desk, "Then he just walked away, saying he didn't deserve to be happy. That's just before you all saw him leave the ballroom."

Squall stood from his kneeling position, his knees protesting the sudden movement. He ignored the aching, though, and said, "Would you like me to talk to him when he gets back? Let him know it's not his fault?"

Quistis brought her palm to her forehead and said, "No offense, Squall, but that could only make things worse. I need to talk to him myself, and I'll do it as soon as he gets back."

Squall nodded slowly. "Their ETA is 1915 hours today. He probably won't come see me, since only the Captain needs to make the team's report, but I'll let you know as soon as they arrive."

Quistis smiled. _You're a good friend, Squall. If only you'd been like this two years ago, when I really needed you._ "Thanks. What are you doing for dinner tonight?"

Squall's eyebrows went up. "Uh, I was going to go back home and make a couple sandwiches."

"Would you like some company? You seem to be pretty lonely in your apartment all alone, without Rinny around."

_Damn, this woman can read me too easily._ "Uh, sure."

"I'll make you a little dish I learned from one of the delegates on my last mission to the Galbadian peace talks. You'll like it," Quistis smiled at him, standing up. "Besides, it'll help me pass the time before Seifer gets back."

_The ulterior motive,_ Squall thought, amused. _At least I'll get a dinner out of it._

*   


Seifer, Gelessa, and Bradden entered the front gate of Garden, stomping the snow off their boots. The sun had already sunken below the horizon, painting a red twilight glow in the western sky. All three of them, no matter what they had to face here, were glad to be home.

"I have to go make my report to Commander Leonhart," said Gelessa. "You guys are free to go do whatever you want, unless the Commander calls you."

"Finally!" said Bradden, sprinting off toward Garden. Seifer, however, just stood and stared at the blue and white building, which was illuminated both by the golden red sky and the bright blue and white lights surrounding Garden.

_Well,_ he thought, _she's probably in there waiting to talk to me. But I have no clue what to say to her._

"Seifer?" said Gelessa. "Are you all right?"

Seifer snapped out of his trance, and glared at Gelessa. "I'm fine," he said, before walking proudly toward Garden.

Gelessa shook her head, and followed. During this mission, Seifer had justified his reputation of being a stuck-up show-off. _I really don't like him,_ she thought. _I don't see how anyone can get along with him._

*   


Quistis and Squall both left his apartment when he'd received the call that the Dollet team had just returned. While he headed for his office, she took the elevator to the first floor.

Squall had been very impressed with the meal she'd made: Sautéed Fastitocalon fillets with curried rice. She'd never actually had a chance to make it before, but had committed the recipe to memory, hoping one day to impress her boyfriend/fiancée/husband with it. However, she was not too disappointed that Squall was the first man she'd ever made it for.

He seemed to actually enjoy her company. She'd recommended that he invite his friends over more often, so he wouldn't always have to return to the empty apartment while his wife was away. Squall had commented that if he started doing that, everyone would think he was dying. She'd laughed at the comment, but realized he wasn't too far from the truth. Although he was much more open with his friends than she could ever remember, he always kept his private life to himself. Even when he and Rinoa had their occasional arguments, he'd never asked his friends for help in resolving them, whereas Rinoa always came to Quistis or Selphie.

_Maybe, someday, he'll trust us all enough to let us in._

The evening had been fun for both of them. She and Squall had talked about times past, and their gradually returning memories of their childhood in Edea's orphanage. She could tell how much her visit had helped Squall relieve some of his loneliness, but it had also greatly helped her get past the stress she'd been feeling, in anticipation of the confrontation she planned to have with Seifer shortly.

Now that she knew he was back, she decided she had no choice but to hunt him down and make him talk to her. She decided he would most likely be in the Training Center. _He loves fighting. And if he's as nervous about seeing me as I am about him, then he'll be there working it off._

As she rode the elevator to the first floor, she began reciting, to herself, what she would say to him to break the ice. She figured she would wing it after that.

"'Hey, Seifer! How was the mission? I bet you did well'…no, that's too lovey-dovey… 'Seifer, we need to talk'…no, men always go on the defense when you say that…'Seifer, we have to talk about our kiss that night'…no, too direct…ah, hell…"

The elevator door opened with a small bell's ring, and she stepped out, her arms crossed as she thought.

_"How was the mission?"…yeah, that's good to start. Let's see, umm…"There's something I have to tell you about the night of the ball"…maybe I should do that. Do I tell him I love him? No, bad idea. Maybe I should just say we ought to consider being more than friends…Are we even friends now?_

Quistis arrived at her dorm. She quickly changed into her standard combat outfit and grabbed her Save The Queen whip. She then lost herself in thought as she made her way down to the Training Center.

Before she knew it, she was at the Training Center's entrance. She shut her eyes, took a deep breath, and started walking down the hallway. 

_Okay, Quisty, here goes nothing._

Just after she had that thought, she passed one of her students, who jumped when he saw her. She stopped, placed her hands on her hips, and said, "Just what do you think you're doing here, Jon?"

"Uh, I'm just…uh…collecting leaves for my leaf collection," answered the teenager.

Quistis shook her head. "Get out of here now, unless you want to spend all day tomorrow doing calisthenics."

"N-no, ma'am! I mean, yes, ma'am!" he said. He immediately started running out toward Garden proper.

_Kids,_ she thought. _They may get younger every year, but they never change._ She continued walking down the hallway.

Once she felt the hard steel of the Garden hallway give way to unsteady dirt, she stopped and considered her options. The entrance area was heavily foliated, but monsters were not allowed in there. She could choose either the door directly ahead of her, or the one to her left, to enter the monster-infested semicircle. She noticed a set of size 13 bootprints in the dirt leading up to the left door, so she guessed that was where Seifer had gone.

Sure enough, once she opened the door, she saw him strike down a group of grats. _I'd bet a thousand gil he's looking for a T-Rexaur to beat up._

"Seifer," she said. Seifer whipped around, readying to strike with his Hyperion. When he saw who his visitor was, he lowered his guard slightly.

"Quistis," said Seifer. "I'm kind of busy right now." He turned away, scanning the area for more monsters to kill.

Quistis walked up to his side and said, "You know, you're really not supposed to train alone. It can be dangerous." _Great, way to go Quistis,_ she thought. _Just start acting like his instructor._ To try to save herself, she said, "Would you like a partner?"

Seifer prepared to refuse, but instead shrugged and said, "I can't stop you." He continued hunting for another kill.

Quistis followed him, trying to decide what to say next. Finally, she fell onto her default question: "How was your first mission?"

"Dull," said Seifer. "They didn't need SeeD to clean the monsters from the communications tower, they needed an exterminator."

Quistis nodded and said, "Mmm hmm". She didn't necessarily agree with him, but she wanted to keep him off the defensive, if possible. "I'm sure you did an excellent job." _Stop trying to flatter him, Quisty, he'll see right through it._

_She wants to talk, I know it,_ thought Seifer. _If this has been tearing her up the whole time, like it has me, then it looks like I won't be able to get out of this conversation without hurting her. I don't want to do that._ "Yeah, I'm sure I did," Seifer said, not really listening to what he said.

Quistis gripped her whip tightly. _This is it. I have to get this out now._ "Look, Seifer, we have to talk about something." She reached out and grabbed his arm lightly. Seifer finally turned to look at her, gently removing his arm from her grip.

"Quistis, I really don't…"

"No, Seifer," said Quistis. "Something happened between us the night of your graduation and we need to talk about it. Because I can't put it out of my head, and I can't let it wait until you think you're ready." _Too forceful, Quisty. You're going to scare him off._

Seifer sighed. _She's really gotten aggressive recently. One of the qualities I've really started to like about her._ "All right, then. Talk."

Quistis led him back to the Training Center entrance, so they wouldn't be stalked by any monsters as they tried to have their conversation.

"Seifer, I need to know what you think about what happened that night."

Seifer shook his head. "I don't know. I just figured you were feeling sorry for me." _Bad reply, Seifer._

Quistis crossed her arms, lowered her head, and turned partly away. "Is…is that all you think it was? So, were you just accepting my sympathy when you kissed me back?"

"No…I…look, Quistis, I'm not really good at this kind of thing. I don't know how to say what I felt." Seifer crossed his arms and lowered his head, unintentionally mimicking Quistis.

"It was…more than that for me, Seifer. I'm afraid of saying this, because I'm afraid of how you'll take it. But I…I feel like I've grown so close to you in these past five months. I admit, at first, things were kind of rocky, but I felt like we were becoming friends. Then, it started to feel like a little more."

Seifer shook his head. "You sure you want to be my friend? Just look where that gets you. Shot in the head or in the chest…"

"Stop it, Seifer," said Quistis, turning to face him. She tilted his head up so she was looking into his eyes. "You're not the only one that's ever lost someone important to them. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened to them. They made their own choices, they were adults. How did you know that would happen to them?"

Seifer closed his eyes. "I don't want to have this conversation." With that, he turned and started walking toward the exit.

"Seifer. Seifer, stop. Stop, please!" Seifer ignored Quistis' pleas. Finally, she pulled out her whip and struck out at him.

The whip wrapped itself around Seifer's waist, bringing his exit to a halt. He turned, putting his hands on the whip, and said, "What the hell? What do you want from me?"

Quistis walked up to him, the hilt of the whip in her hand, and said, "I want you to stop acting like a martyr and start acting like a human being. If you have feelings for me, then tell me. If you don't, I want to know, and I will never trouble you again."

She tugged on her whip, giving it a quick twist. The whip released itself from Seifer's waist and fell limply to the ground. She wrapped it back up and hung it at her waist.

Seifer stood there for a moment, staring into her baby blue eyes. He'd longed to look into her eyes like this ever since he'd left, but he wouldn't admit it to himself. _I could say I don't have any feelings for her, but that'd be a lie. And I'd end up regretting it and feeling guilty. Damn._

"I…I do have feelings for you," he said finally.

Quistis pursed her lips. _Why was that so hard for him to say? Is he lying to make me feel better, or does he just have as hard a time expressing himself as Squall does?_

Seifer waited a moment for her response. When she said nothing, he said, "Well?"

Quistis nodded slightly, as if responding to an unspoken question. "Then kiss me."

Seifer looked at her for a second, trying to decide if it was such a good idea. He was afraid that if he kissed her, and she felt it was too forced, she'd think he was lying about his feelings for her. _But I wasn't lying, I just don't know how to show it._

Seifer took Quistis' upper arms in his hands, and kissed her on the lips. At first, he felt a little stiff, making her stiff. Then as the kiss continued, he felt his worries and concerns melt away into her, and he relaxed, enjoying this contact with her.

Quistis was worried for a moment when she felt how stiff his kiss was. She was afraid that she was right, that he didn't really feel for her. But then, she felt him begin to loosen up, and she responded by loosening herself up. She began to drink fully of this man that embraced her, letting him release his pain, his tension, his doubt, into her. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her.

Seifer felt her arms around his waist, pulling them closer together. He responded by locking his hands at her back, between her shoulders.

When they finally released their kiss, they looked into each other's eyes. After a few seconds of silence, Seifer said, "Thank you. I do feel better."

Quistis smiled. "That what I'd hoped. I do care for you, Seifer."

Seifer's eyes moved away from her face, toward the far wall beyond her. "I don't know if I can let my guilt for Fujin and Raijin go, though. I mean, I see them almost every night when I go to sleep."

"Well, we can work on getting you through that," said Quistis, placing a hand on Seifer's cheek. She felt the rough bristles of his five o'clock shadow under her slightly-calloused fingers.

Seifer closed his eyes, enjoying the soft, warm touch of her hand on his cheek.

"We, as in you, me, and our friends," finished Quistis.

Seifer opened his eyes. "What? _Our_ friends?"

Quistis nodded. "Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine. Believe it or not, they care for you, too. I think that if you open up to them a little more and try to be friends with them, they'll be happy to have you."

Seifer backed away, breaking their embrace. "I don't know about that, Quistis. Zell's always hated me. Squall never much liked me, especially after I gave him his one of these." He touched the scar on his brow. "I don't even know Selphie or Irvine, beyond what happened when I was Ultimecia's knight. And Rinoa…I gave her up as a sacrifice to Adel, and nearly killed her more than once. I just don't think they'd want to be that close to me."

"Oh," said Quistis. "So you know my friends better than I know them, huh?"

Seifer crossed his arms and hung his head. _That's not what I meant, I just…feel guilty…_

"None of them blame you for the things that happened under Ultimecia. And from before that…we understand that people change. Believe it or not, we're all still teenagers, and we're at that time in our life where we just have to accept that we'll soon be totally different people than we are now. I've seen you grow up a lot recently, Seifer, and so has everyone else." She took his hand into hers, and stroked his leather glove.

Seifer sighed. _Never imagined I'd actually be trying to make friends with the Chicken-Wuss and Puberty Boy. No,_ he corrected himself, _Zell and Squall. I need to stop putting people down. It's no wonder nobody liked me before._ "Ok," he said. "Why not? It's not easy spending all your time alone."

Quistis smiled again. She drew his arms apart, and held both his hands in hers. "That would make me very happy, Seifer."

Seifer gave the first real smile he could remember having in many months. _I make her happy,_ he thought. _All that time I was searching for my dream, I never realized the answer to all my dreams were right here, in her eyes._

"Why don't we get something to eat? You're probably starving, and I'd be willing to bet you came right here after you got back."

Seifer nodded. "Yeah, you're right, on both counts." With that, he led her out of the Training Center toward Garden proper.

As they walked down the hallway together, they received many questioning glances and stares from students as Seifer and Quistis talked about his mission and her teaching. Several Trepies looked jealously at Seifer, with whom their beloved Instructor Trepe seemed to be having a good time. However, they decided that, based on Seifer's reputation, they should not confront him. 

When they arrived at the cafeteria, several conversations stopped as students and SeeDs alike watched Quistis and Seifer enter together, get in line together, and get their food and walk away from the counter together.

Quistis spotted Zell and Christine in one of the tables in the far corner. She motioned for Seifer to follow her to their table.

Christine was eating a chef's salad, and was the first to notice Quistis and Seifer approach them. She smiled at them and motioned to two free chairs at their table. Zell, who was busy eating a chili dog, didn't notice Quistis and Seifer approach, and only looked up when he saw Christine out of the corner of his eye, motioning to someone.

He looked up, and nearly choked on his mouthful of hot dog and chili. "Seesssfurr?" he said, before swallowing his mouthful.

"Hi Zell, Christine. May Seifer and I join you for dinner?" asked Quistis.

"Uh…?" was all Zell could muster.

"Of course," said Christine. "This must be Seifer."

Seifer nodded as he sat down. "I don't think we've met."

Christine said, "I'm Christine Everest, Zell's girlfriend." Zell coughed at that part, either because he'd swallowed his food too fast, or because he still wasn't used to Christine being described as his girlfriend. 

"Nice to meet ya," said Seifer. "As you seem to know already, I'm Seifer Almasy, gunblade expert and…"

Quistis cleared her throat. Seifer realized he was starting to show off, and continued "…I've, uh, known Zell here for some time. Right?"

Zell just glanced between Quistis and Seifer. He didn't quite know what to say. He'd never thought Seifer would sit down to dinner with him, and not use that time to hurl insult after insult at him.

"Zell and Seifer were in the same class for a while," said Quistis, trying to break Zell's stunned silence. "They worked together during Zell's field exam."

Christine finally elbowed Zell, which startled him into speaking. "Uh, uh, yeah, yeah we did."

"So I hear you're Deputy Commander of SeeD now, huh?" asked Seifer

"Yeah, uh, Squall thought I did a good job leading the mission in Centra last month. He, uh, wanted someone here to run the show if he ever had to go." Zell crossed his arms and sat back in his chair, relaxing slightly.

"Well…congratulations," said Seifer, a little forced.

"Thanks…Seifer," said Zell.

For the next half hour, Quistis and Christine did their best to keep the conversation going. After a while, Seifer and Zell started talking normally, first to the women, and then to each other. Quistis was especially pleased that she'd proven herself right; Zell and Seifer would actually be able to get along without wanting to kill each other. She chuckled inwardly as she remembered how Zell had used to refer to Seifer as his "archenemy", and how Seifer would relentlessly tease Zell, even when they were all children.

Then a thought came to her. _Does Seifer know we all grew up together? I can't believe it, but that never occurred to me until just now._ She looked at Seifer, who was actually starting to smile as he described his latest mission to Zell, who was also smiling a little. _Maybe I should wait to bring it up until things are a little more patched between Seifer and everyone else._

After a while, Zell remembered he needed to go handle a few tasks Squall had asked him to do tonight. He stood up, said his goodbyes to Quistis and Seifer, and he and Christine left the cafeteria.

Once they were gone, Quistis turned to Seifer and said, "Wow. I'm very proud of you, Seifer. Not one crack or insult, and you and Zell actually had a normal, adult conversation."

"Yeah," sighed Seifer, "but I didn't get much chance to eat. My food's cold."

Quistis smiled and shook her head. "One of the few perils of having friends, I suppose. If you can get along with Zell, I think you can get along with anybody."

*   


The next noon, Seifer returned to his dorm room just in time to hear the chirping of the new phone on his desk. After he'd become a SeeD and had gotten his own room, he'd been given his own phone. _A SeeD privilege, I suppose,_ he thought. _Being on-call, even when you're supposed to be relaxing._

He picked up the receiver. "Yeah?"

_"Seifer, this is Squall. If you have some time, I'd like to see you in my office."_

What does Squall need to see me for? "Uh, all right. When?"

_"Just when you have some time. Have lunch first, if you want."_

Seifer shrugged. "All right, I'll be there in about a half hour."

_"Thanks."_ The phone clicked as Squall hung up. Seifer ran his fingers through his hair, trying to get a small amount of sweat out of it.

_What does he need to see me for?_ he asked himself again. Sighing, he got ready to take a quick shower.

About twenty minutes later, Seifer arrived at Squall's office. He'd eaten a quick lunch, being very curious as to why Squall wanted to see him.

Bowler Fisk, ever-present on the third floor of Garden, buzzed Squall to let him know that Seifer had arrived.

_"Tell him to come on in,"_ came Squall's voice.

"Go ahead, he's waiting for you," said Bowler. Seifer opened Squall's door and stepped inside.

He saw Squall sitting behind his desk, looking at something on his computer terminal. "Come on in," he said. "Have a seat."

Seifer walked up to the desk and sat in one of the chairs. Squall typed a little more on his terminal, and then finally turned toward Seifer. "How was your first mission?"

Seifer crossed his arms. "Boring as hell. They needed an exterminator, not elite SeeDs."

Squall shrugged. "Hey, they hired us to do the job. You got paid, and actually went up a couple rank levels."

Seifer let out a small "humph". Then, he said, "Thanks."

They sat there silently for a minute. Then, Squall said, "So, what did you think of Gelessa?"

Seifer's eyebrow went up. _Is he trying to trick me into putting down a superior officer?_ He just shrugged.

"I need a little more than that, Seifer. I'm trying to evaluate her command performance, and since you have more field experience than she does, with how many times you've taken field exams…"

Seifer's frown deepened.

Squall continued, "…I wanted your opinion on how well she did as a Squad Captain."

Seifer seemed lost in thought for a minute. He was trying to decide how best to answer the question. Finally, he said, "She did ok, for a first command. She was nervous, but she got the job done, and kept us focused on the job at hand."

Squall waited for more, and tilted his head when he decided Seifer was finished. "That's all?"

"Yep," said Seifer, standing up. "If I knew I'd be evaluating her, I'd have taken notes." He started to leave.

"Wait, Seifer," said Squall. 

Seifer turned to face him again, looking irritated. 

"That's not the only reason I wanted to talk to you."

Seifer sighed and crossed his arms. He went back and sat in his chair. Squall came around from behind his desk, pulled up the other chair, and sat facing Seifer.

Squall started, "Look, I know that you and I never got along too well. I'm not going to say why I think that is, because I'm probably wrong. And I know that lately, we've been getting along a little better, at least not trying to kill each other."

Seifer chuckled slightly at that.

"But, I want to try to bury the hatchet," continued Squall. "Both of us have done a lot of growing up over the past year or so." Squall hesitated, trying to find the right words. "But all through the years, even though we always fought, we had an understanding. I think we'd be more constructive as friends rather than enemies."

Seifer turned away, suddenly embarrassed to be in the room. _I can't believe Squall's reaching out to me! This is something I'd never expected to see. Not in a million years. Unless…_

"Quistis put you up to this," Seifer responded.

"Huh? Put me up to what?"

Seifer looked him square in the eyes. "She told me that all of you guys wanted to be friends with me, but didn't know how to say it. She's probably here now. Listening." He scanned the room, and focused on the washroom door. He stood up, walked silently to the door, and thrust it open.

The room was dark and empty. No one was inside. Seifer looked back at Squall,accusingly.

"Seifer, she didn't put me up to anything," Squall defended himself. He stood up and walked over to Seifer. "I just think that we're both adults, and we can get past our childhood differences and try to get along."

Seifer crossed his arms and lowered his head, thinking. _Is he serious? I've never known Squall to not be. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't rather be friends than enemies with him, but this just seems too…strange to be happening all of a sudden._

Squall watched Seifer intently. _Come on, Seifer. Quit being suspicious for once. You know you and I are more alike than we'll ever admit. We don't really want to be enemies anymore. At least _I_ don't._

"All right," said Seifer. "You're right. I guess I'm tired of being at odds with everyone. As fun as it used to be, it's gotten kind of old."

Squall stuck out his hand. Seifer accepted it, and they had a hearty handshake. "I'm glad to hear it. Really, I am. I'd like to get a chance to catch up with you on things sometime. I can only imagine what you'd been up to before you got here."

_Yeah, really._ "Well, if you'll excuse me," said Seifer, "I have to go report to Instructor Vicks for a live gunblade demonstration."

Squall nodded. "See you around."

"Yeah," said Seifer as he left the office.

When Squall was satisfied that Seifer had left in the elevator, he said, "Ok."

"Dispel," said a female voice, from thin air. Suddenly, Quistis popped into existence, the Vanish spell she'd cast on herself now broken.

Squall walked up to her. "I told you he'd be suspicious."

Quistis shook her head. "It's for his own good. I don't want him turning into you, after all." She smiled.

"Whatever…" said Squall.

"Seriously, though, what Seifer needs now are friends. I wouldn't have come to see you if I didn't know you wanted to be friends with him."

"You love him, don't you?" asked Squall suddenly. He expected Quistis to be taken aback by the question.

Instead, she nodded. "Yes, I do. That's why I want the best for him. We can all help him get over the guilt he feels over losing his posse, and he can finally be able to be happy again. All I want is for him to be happy."

"Well, don't forget that you need happiness too," said Squall. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Quistis shook her head. "I won't I promise. I know he loves me. Maybe he doesn't know it yet, but I can just tell."

Squall nodded. "Well, you know him better than any of us, at this point. Now, don't you have a class to get back to?"

"Yes," said Quistis. "They're probably all done with lunch and itching to get their hands on more magic." She shook her head. "Hard to believe that was us, just four to five years ago."

She walked out of Squall's office as he went back to sit down at his desk. She rode the elevator down to the first floor.

Once she arrived and stepped out of the elevator, she heard a familiar voice say, "Done with your little meeting, Quistis?"

She turned sharply to see Seifer, staring at her accusingly.

"Seifer? I was just, uh…"

"Putting Squall up to trying to make friends with me," said Seifer, more than a little angry. "Just what are you trying to do?"

"Seifer, Squall wouldn't have talked to you unless he'd wanted to. You know that much about him." Quistis tried to touch Seifer's arm, but he stepped away.

"Dammit, Quistis," said Seifer. "You're trying to run my life!"

"I am not!" said Quistis. "But you just won't admit to yourself that you need other people! I'm trying to help you help yourself. I don't want to see you destroy yourself because of the guilt you've placed on yourself. What I told you about everyone wanting to be friends with you was true. They just didn't think you'd be open to it."

Seifer prepared to tell her to go to hell, and then storm off. But when he tried to say the words, he found he couldn't. _Dammit, she's right. I do need friends. And, like it or not, Squall's probably the best one I could find._

"Ok, fine," said Seifer, conceding defeat. "But you need to promise me you won't do any more behind-the-scenes shit, okay? I don't need someone setting me up every step I take."

Quistis smiled, relieved. "I promise. Look, I have to get back to my class, but I'd like to meet you later to talk. Would that be okay?"

Seifer nodded. "How about the 'secret area' behind the Training Center, at seventeen-thirty hours?" she proposed. Seifer raised his eyebrows. "Hey," Quistis continued, "It's probably the only place where we can talk privately. And I don't think it would be…proper…for us to meet in each other's dorms."

Seifer thought about the possibilities of what could happen if they _did_ meet in each other's dorms, and a slight smile appeared on his face. "Hey, none of that, Almasy," said Quistis, trying not to think of the possibilities herself. "See you then." She walked away toward the Training Center.

Seifer watched her leave, admiring her lean figure and flowing grace as she strode away from him. Then, he got back into the elevator, headed for the second floor classrooms.

_Well, Quisty,_ he thought. _This is something I'm_ definitely _looking forward to._

  
  
  



	10. Chapter 9: Parenthood

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and everything related belong to SquareSoft.

Author's note: I re-uploaded this chapter to fix a few spelling errors. *sheepish grin*

  
  
  


Chapter 9: Parenthood  
Setting: Balamb Garden Infirmary  
Four Months later

  


Zell paced the waiting room impatiently, his hands at his lower back. Quistis, Seifer, and Christine were all sitting down, chatting with Selphie and Irvine, who had just arrived from Trabia.

Selphie and Irvine had changed somewhat since they'd last been in Balamb. She'd grown her hair a little longer, but still curled the ends of it up. Irvine had grown a beard, claiming it helped him keep warm in cold Trabia. However, their personalities hadn't changed a bit; Selphie was incorrigibly cheerful, and Irvine was flirtatious but thoughtful. He had his arm around Selphie.

"What's takin' so long?" said Zell. "There's gotta be something wrong!"

"Hey, calm down, Zell," said Selphie. "Be happy! Everything's ok, you'll see!"

"Yeah, Zell," said Seifer. "You're making me seasick with all that pacing. Just relax and stop worrying."

Just then, the door to the infirmary's back section opened. Squall stepped out slowly, with a grim look on his face. Everyone stood up slowly, hoping everything was all right.

After keeping them hanging for a few seconds, Squall gave a big smile. "I'm a father."

Zell shot toward him like a flash, giving him a huge hug. Everyone else jumped out of their seats, and gave him their congratulations.

"Squall, ya big _meanie_! Making us worry like that!"

"How is she doing?"

"Did everything go ok?"

"Are you excited?"

"Can we see them?"

Squall backed off slightly and held his hands up defensively. "Calm down everyone. Rin and Alexa are all right; everything went fine. You can see them for a few minutes, but Rin's very tired and needs to get some rest, ok?"

"Yeah, sure! Just let us in!" said Zell.

"C'mon, let us see the new mommy!" said Selphie. 

Squall led them into the rear chamber of the infirmary, which housed a surgery room, intensive care unit, and new maternity ward. Rinoa had the honor of being the first Garden student to make use of the third.

When they reached the maternity ward, they saw Rinoa, her face flushed, simultaneously smiling and crying. She held something in her arms against her chest, wrapped in a small infirmary blanket.

"Hey guys," she said, with only a little weariness, "Come on over and meet little Lexie."

Doctor Kadowaki looked questioningly at the large group of SeeDs swarming around Rinoa's bed, then smiled. "You can all say hi, but I need you all to leave in a few minutes. Rinoa's extremely tired and needs her rest."

No one except Squall acted like they heard her. They all were talking to Rinoa and trying to see the little baby she held, wrapped in the blanket. Squall nodded to her, indicating that he'd make sure they cleared out, and the doctor left to take care of some paperwork.

Rinoa opened the blanket, so everyone could see. She held an adorable little infant with raven black hair, like her mother. The child's face was pink from the exertion of birth. Her eyes were closed, but her fingers opened and closed, as if the child were trying them out for the first time.

"Awww, she's so _cute_!" said Selphie. "She looks just like you, Rinny!"

"Actually, I think that's Squall's nose," said Irvine.

"She's absolutely precious," said Quistis. "I'm so happy for you both."

"Me, too," said Seifer. "Won't be long before you have this little rugrat running around, keeping you busy."

"So, her name's Alexa?" said Zell. "I know I've heard that name before."

"That's because they told us five months ago," said Quistis.

"Oh, yeah!" said Zell, scratching the back of his head.

"It was my grandmother's name," said Rinoa. "But we're going to call her Lexie for short."

"Hey, that's a cute nickname!" said Zell.

"Would you like to hold her?" asked Rinoa.

"Huh? Me? Uh, I don't know. I mean, what if I hurt her?" Zell stammered.

"You won't," said Rinoa. "Just support her head, and don't let her go."

"Uh, okay, I'll try." Rinoa handed Alexa to Zell. He seemed a little unsure of himself at first, but soon realized how successful he was in holding the baby.

"Wow, she's just _amazing_," said Zell.

"Ooh, I wanna hold her, too!" Selphie squealed. Zell carefully handed the baby over to Selphie. She rocked Alexa gently in her arms, as Irvine looked at the baby over Selphie's shoulder. Alexa started to cry, and Selphie gave a pouty face, saying, "Awwww...you scared her, Irvy!"

"It's that beard of his," quipped Quistis.

"You can all have a turn, but I want her back eventully," said Rinoa, smiling widely. Squall, standing at her side, brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. She looked up at him, and held his hand tightly, the IV in her arm clicking against the bed rail.

_I love you_, she mouthed.

_I love you too_, he replied silently.

Selphie handed Alexa to Quistis, and Alexa's crying started to soften. Quistis seemed on the verge of tears when she realized she was holding a newborn baby. She'd never seen herself as a mother, but now that she was holding Rinoa and Squall's baby, she started hoping that she could be a mother one day. _Maybe if Seifer and I get married_, she thought, daydreaming.

She turned to Seifer. "Would you like to hold her?"

Seifer raised his eyebrows. "I-I don't know. I mean..."

"Go ahead, Seifer," said Squall. "She's a baby, not a tonberry."

"Ok," said Seifer, accepting the baby into his arms. He held her perfectly, with his hand holding her head, and supporting her body between his arm and his chest. To the surprise of everyone, he seemed a natural at holding a child. He rocked Alexa gently, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. A second later, Alexa stopped crying. That added to everyone's surprise.

He looked at Christine, who looked as if she desperately wanted a chance to hold the Alexa. He walked over to her and gave her the baby, almost reluctantly. Christine clutched Alexa close, cooing at her.

All eyes were on the baby. Rinoa looked at Irvine. "Irvy, you wanna hold her when Christine's done?"

"I'd love to, but I hurt my arm last week. I wouldn't want to chance dropping her." Irvine gave a half-smile.

Rinoa nodded. After another minute of everyone flocking around Christine and the baby, Squall said, "Okay, everyone, Rin and Lexie both need some rest now." He walked over to Christine, who gave Alexa to him. "You can come back later, after Doctor Kadowaki has run some tests, and they've had a chance to sleep."

Everyone moaned, but said their goodbyes and congratulations. Quistis and Selphie each gave Rinoa a hug and a kiss, and they all left the room. When everyone was gone, Squall started talking, "They're all our family, Lexie. You're gonna see a lot more of them. Welcome to Garden."

Rinoa watched Squall with Alexa, and felt a warmth in her heart like never before. _He really will be a good father_, she thought. _We're going to be such a happy family._

"Can I hold her?" Rinoa asked. Squall gently placed Alexa into Rinoa's waiting arms. 

"She does look a lot like you," said Squall. "Two perfect angels in my life. I couldn't have asked for anything greater."

Rinoa smiled at him. "Sorry for what I said to you when I was in labor. You know I didn't mean it, right?"

Squall nodded, smiling. "I'll try to pretend I've never heard some of those words before. You're a lot stronger than I am, to go through all that."

"It was a little tough," said Rinoa, "but looking at our daughter, _our daughter_, Squall, I just know that it was all worth it."

Just then, Doctor Kadowaki entered. "I'm sorry to have to intervene, but I need to run those tests now just to make sure everything is okay with you and the baby. Afterward, both of you should sleep, Rinoa. Squall, you can stay, if you want."

"I wouldn't dream of leaving their side," said Squall, beaming. 

*   


Several hours later, Rinoa slept soundly in her bed in the infirmary. At her side, reading a book, was Squall, and on his other side was the hospital crib where Alexa slept.

Squall looked up from the novel and gazed at Rinoa. _She's worked so hard. She is just absolutely amazing._

_Squall..._

He wasn't sure, but he thought he just heard her say his name. "What?"

_Squall, take care of Lexie..._

He'd heard the voice not with his ears, but in his _head_. He responded, Rin? Is that you?

_I'll always love you Squall..._

He was surprised by this sudden communication. He'd been able to sense Rinoa's feelings before, but never her actual thoughts. _She must be dreaming...I wonder what about?_

Just then, he looked up, and saw a very familiar face in the window on the door. Waving, he put down his book and quietly crept up to the door. Silently exiting the room, he greeted their new visitor.

"Hi, Matron."

Edea smiled at him. "Hello, Squall. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier, but I figured all your friends would have mobbed you, and that you wouldn't have time for me."

"Matron, we always have time for you."

"Thank you, Squall. Cid said he planned on coming shortly, but I wanted to talk to you about a couple things in private."

"Sure. Doctor?"

Doctor Kadowaki looked up from her terminal. "You can use the room over there. It's about as private as things get here."

Squall and Edea entered the small sick room and closed the door. _This room always gives me chills_, thought Squall. _I was here after Seifer scarred me. Rinoa lay here when she was in her coma. A lot of bad memories in this little room._

"What did you want to talk about?" asked Squall, with some foreknowledge of what she wanted to say.

"It's about Rinoa, her powers, and your daughter," said Edea.

Squall crossed his arms and looked down. _I was afraid this would be coming._

"You know that it is rare for a Sorceress to be able to conceive and carry a child. She must be very powerful, and have a determined will."

Squall nodded. "Rinoa's very strong, a lot stronger than even _she's_ given herself credit for."

"I've done my best to help you keep her powers a secret, even from my husband. But as Alexa grows, it will be more difficult to hide the signs of the power she had inherited from her mother." Edea sat on the bed and invited Squall to sit beside her.

"What signs?" asked Squall, sitting down.

"Well, she will become mentally and emotionally mature quite quickly, as compared to...typical children." Edea placed her hand on Squall's. "She will be extremely intelligent, and will probably be speaking quite clearly by her second year."

Squall looked away. "Well, everyone knows how smart Rinoa is, even if they don't know it's augmented by her powers. And for some reason, they think I'm intelligent too. That'll probably be enough to keep them from thinking anything's too strange with Lexie."

Edea sighed. "What I haven't told you is that it's an extremely rare occurrence, in history, for a Sorceress to give birth to a child. To be honest, I was surprised you were able to conceive."

Squall looked at her suddenly. "You've been helping us every step of the way since we beat Ultimecia. Why didn't you tell us _that_?"

"Because I saw how much you wanted a child after you were married, and I didn't want to dash your hopes."

Squall's mouth fell open. He was utterly speechless. Standing, he paced the room. He tried to ask some kind of question, but could only stutter as his brain processed this new information.

"I know this comes as a shock to you, but I felt you should know it," Edea placed her hand on Squall's shoulder, stopping his pacing. "Rinoa is more powerful than I ever was, possibly more so than any other Sorceress that has existed to date."

He turned to her and asked, finally, "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because your child is very special," she said in a soft, motherly tone. "She has inherited some of the power from Rinoa. Now there are two Sorceresses, one being your newborn daughter, and the other being your wife. You, being Rinoa's knight, needed to know this."

Edea looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Squall. I don't wish to alarm you, but I wanted you to be prepared."

"Prepared for _what_? Now I not only have to keep my wife safe from mobs of people that would want her dead, I now have to protect my daughter from the same thing?" He opened the door to the small room, stepped halfway out, and turned back around. Pointing a finger at the ex-Sorceress, he said, "My family will have a normal, happy life. I'm not going to let this damned Sorceress thing ruin our chance at happiness!"

He stormed back into the maternity ward, where Rinoa and Alexa still slept soundly. Edea watched him through the window, her eyes filled with sorrow for the pain she was causing her child. The young man she had raised almost from birth. Finally, a tear in her eye, she started to leave the infirmary.

As she left, she met Cid, who was on his way with a bouquet of flowers. "What's wrong, dear?" he asked, placing his hand on her arm.

Edea could not tell him what had happened. She forced a smile, and said, "I just can't believe the little boy from our orphanage is a father now."

Cid smiled, kissed Edea's cheek, and placed his arm around her waist. "They've all grown up so fast, haven't they?" They walked out of the infirmary together, planning to visit the new mother later.

Meanwhile, Squall sat down in his seat again. He took Rinoa's hand and held it tenderly. Rinoa sensed his touch, and rolled over onto her side, snuggling his hand under her cheek. 

_I love you Squall._

Squall smiled. He was starting to understand now why he was hearing her thoughts. If she were as powerful as Edea said, then telepathy should be no difficulty for her. Squall looked over at Alexa in her crib. He wheeled the crib closer to Rinoa's bed, and grasped his daughter's hand.

_I love you both, my angels. No matter what, I promise we will have a happy, full life._

*   


Zell sat in Squall's office later that day, working his way through the stack of paper that had magically appeared on the desk since earlier that morning.

_Jeez, Squall,_ he thought. _No wonder you drink so much coffee now. I didn't think there was this much paperwork in the whole Garden network._

He came across one document, entitled Esthar Garden Project. His eyebrows arched, and he scanned the document intently. _So they really are going to build one in Esthar! Cool!_

He checked the next paper in the stack, entitled "Esthar Garden Mission Profile." On it was a list of names, only one of which he recognized. "Christine Everest." _Aw man!_ he thought. _They're sending her to Esthar! And she's leaving in...two days! That sucks!_

He decided he should tell her himself, tonight, so they'd be able to enjoy each other's company one more time before she left. _Hey,_ he told himself. _It's just a regular mission, right? She'll come back eventually, won't she?_

To avoid answering that question, he continued digging through the papers, signing and completing them where appropriate. After a few minutes of this, his phone rang.

He punched the speakerphone and said, "Yo, this is Zell."

_"Hey, Zell, it's Selphie!"_

"Hey, Selph! What's up?"

_"I wanna throw Rinny and Lexie a homecoming when they get out of the infirmary, and I need your help!"_

"Sure, whaddya need?"

_"Well, I need you to let us into their apartment to decorate it..."_

_Oh, no,_ thought Zell. _This is what happened when we let her in their apartment after their wedding._

"Selph, I..." he started.

_"...and then we need lotsa teddy bears and balloons and cute little bunny rabbits!"_

"Uh, you mean _stuffed toy_ bunny rabbits, right?" Zell scratched his head.

_"Oh, hey, yeah! That would work too! I also want you to get a _biiig_ cake with writing on it!"_

"What kind of writing?"

_"Think of something, Zell! Come on!"_

Zell groaned inwardly. "How are we gonna pay for all this?"

_"I got a pay raise when I made Instructor, so I'll pay you back!"_

Zell sighed. Money wasn't really an issue, since he earned a top salary, being an A Rank SeeD. He was actually trying to get her to tone it down a little, but realized he wouldn't win an argument with Selphie about any kind of party. He didn't even want to waste the energy trying. "Okay, I'll go to Balamb tonight after I'm off-duty."

_"Woo-hoo! Thanks, Zell!"_ The line clicked.

Zell stood up, stretching his arms and legs. He stayed behind the desk and started shadow boxing. _It's gonna be a long couple of days,_ he thought.

*   


Squall awoke with a start. His breath quick and shallow, he looked at the bed beside him, seeing it was empty. He stood from his chair and scanned around frantically for her.

_My God, where is she?_

He looked in the crib, and saw that Alexa was missing as well. "Rin? Lexie!" he shouted, his voice echoing in the dark, empty infirmary room. He ran to the door and tried to open it, but it stuck closed. Feeling a rush of adrenaline, he pulled with all his might, tearing the door from its hinges.

He was now standing in the main room of the infirmary, the lights bright, nearly blinding him. When his eyes adjusted, he saw everyone standing there. Quistis. Zell. Selphie. Irvine. Cid. Doctor Kadowaki. Xu. Nida. Everyone looked at him with sorrowful expressions, except for Cid. Cid's eyes burned with betrayal and fury at Squall.

Everyone pointed to the small room Squall hated, the one to his left. He turned, and saw Rinoa laying there, with Alexa in her arms. He rushed to them, trying to stir them from their slumber. 

_They're cold. They're_ dead!

He turned to everyone, who shook their heads at him.

"It had to be done," came a cold voice from behind him. He turned to see Edea, dressed in the full ceremonial garb she had worn while possessed by Ultimecia. She then walked toward him, walked _through_ him, and joined the others.

They all stared at him for a second, and then turned away.

Squall wrapped his arms around his dead wife and daughter. "Rin! Rin, speak to me!"

Only silence emanated from the cold bodies.

"No!"

Squall awoke in a flash, jumping out of his chair. He instinctively grabbed for his gunblade, suddenly realizing he wasn't wearing it. He was still in the infirmary.

He looked down at the bed beside him, but it was empty. He frantically searched the crib, but it was also unoccupied.

"Rinoa!" he shouted.

"What?"

He spun around. There stood Rinoa, holding Alexa, at the window. She walked over to him, trying to soothe the infant that was now crying, startled by her father's sudden outburst. 

Squall jumped over his chair and took Rinoa in an embrace, being careful not to sandwich the fragile Alexa between them.

"Squall, are you okay?" Rinoa asked, her voice filled with concern.

"I...I...yeah, I'm fine," stammered Squall, as he began to reorient himself to reality. _It was a dream, thank God. I was afraid I'd lost them. _

"Are you sure? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Yeah," said Squall. "Bad dream, that's all." He stroked Alexa's head. The infant's cries died down as she felt her father's touch.

"Sorry if I scared you," said Rinoa. "I woke up and heard her crying. You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to wake you. I fed Lexie and brought her over to the window to show her the beautiful scenery."

Squall, now satisfied that his family was alive and well, walked them over to the window. From there, they could see the town of Balamb, and the ocean beyond it. It was a soothing view.

"Can I hold her for a while?" Squall asked.

"Sure," said Rinoa. She placed Alexa in Squall's arms, and as she did so, she could see the infant's eyes open for the first time. _What gorgeous little blue eyes,_ thought Rinoa.

Squall placed his free arm around Rinoa, who leaned into him. Gazing at his wife, and then down at his daughter, he took a silent vow.

_I swear to you both that I will never leave your side._

*   


Three days later, Squall zipped up Rinoa's knapsack, checking the room to make sure they had everything they needed.

As he did that, Doctor Kadowaki spoke to them both. "I know that, at times, things may get a little overwhelming for you, but believe me, that's nothing new for first-time parents. If you need advice, or need to talk, for whatever reason, you can always call me. But I also want to give you this, which has a lot of good advice for new parents." She handed Rinoa a small book with a pink cover. Rinoa glanced through it, and placed it in the baby bag.

"Thanks, Doctor. For everything." Rinoa gave her a hug. "You're really a gift to Garden."

Kadowaki smiled and patted Rinoa on the back. "Just don't forget to call on me, day or night, if you need me." When Rinoa released the hug, Kadowaki left the room.

Squall gathered up a collection of papers, colored in crayon. "Where will we put these, you think?"

Rinoa looked through the pictures again. "It was so sweet of my students to make these for me," she said. She stopped at one picture, and smiled at the red drawing of two legged creature, smiling with its fangs showing. "This one's Ifrit," she said. "I think their feelings would be hurt if we didn't put them up on our wall at home, at least for a little while."

"Ok," said Squall. "We can dedicate a wall to stuff from your class. It'll look better than if we let Selphie decorate it." He gave a half-smile.

"Oh, Squall, be nice to her. She loves us both a lot." Rinoa slid the papers into a pocket of her knapsack. "Well, are we ready?" she asked. 

"Looks like we have everything. You have your necklace?"

Rinoa lifted her necklace from her chest, showing Squall the platinum and Griever rings attached to it. "Would you mind carrying the bags? I want to carry Lexie home."

"No problem," said Squall, lifting the baby bag. _This is heavier than it looks,_ he thought. _Just what did they put in it?_

Rinoa picked Alexa up from her crib. She was dressed in a pink flowery dress, matching bonnet, and white booties. "Ready to go home, sweetie?"

Alexa looked up at her with her innocent little eyes and smiled. Rinoa's smile widened when she saw the infant's toothless grin.

"Oh, speaking of the devil," said Squall, "I heard Selphie did some...decorating in the nursery. I think I'll be spending the rest of my paternity leave making it look semi-normal."

Rinoa laughed. "Maybe we could just leave it like Selphie did it. Lexie won't mind, will you?" She turned to Alexa and kissed her forehead.

"Well, I think we're ready," said Squall. "Let's go."

With the baby bag in his right hand and Rinoa's knapsack slung over his shoulder, Squall opened the door to the infirmary main room. There stood their friends and Headmaster Cid, waiting for them.

"Ready to go home, guys?" said Selphie. 

"Yeah," said Rinoa. "It'll be nice to be back in my own bed again. No offense, Doctor."

Kadowaki smiled. "None taken."

"Hey, lemme help you with that," said Zell, grabbing the baby bag from Squall.

"Yeah," said Irvine, taking Rinoa's pack from his shoulder.

"Hey, I'm not the one who gave birth, here," joked Squall. They ignored him and started carrying the bags into the hallway.

"Well, shall we go?" asked Cid.

As they all walked together to the elevator, Squall said to Zell, "I heard about Christine's mission. If it makes you feel any better, she shouldn't be gone more than a few weeks, until after they've broken ground and gotten the monster shield up."

"Yeah, I know," said Zell. "Besides, I'm gonna take a trip out there to see her soon."

The rest of the way to the elevator, Selphie talked bout how everyone needed to go to Trabia sometime and visit them. "We've done so much with it, you wouldn't even recognize it! It's so totally awesome now, even more than it was! And it can fly too, just like the other Gardens!"

They rode the elevator up to the second floor, and headed toward Squall and Rinoa's apartment. They all went inside and followed Rinoa to the nursery. 

She stopped once she got to the nursery, and couldn't keep from smiling. The room was filled with stuffed animals and pink and white balloons, and the walls were covered with teddy bear wallpaper.

"Wow!" said Rinoa. "I wonder who did this?"

She walked up to Selphie, then walked past her toward Cid. She gave the Headmaster a peck on the cheek. "Thanks for decorating, Headmaster."

Cid's eyebrows arched, and he rubbed the back of his head, his cheeks turning red. "Uh, I didn't..."

"Hey!" said Selphie. "We all helped, ya know!"

"I know, Sefie," Rinoa said, smiling widely. She gave Selphie a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, everyone. It's lovely, and I know Lexie loves it." She walked over to the crib and lay Alexa inside. Alexa, fascinated by the new environment she could barely see, was wiggling and squirming, trying to see more.

"This is your home, little girl," said Squall in a tender, fatherly voice, as he stroked Alexa's head.

"Well," said Irvine, stroking his beard. "Look at you, Squall. Mister Stoic going gaga over a baby!"

Squall scratched the back of his head, and said, "What..."

"...ever," finished Rinoa. She covered her mouth to try to hide her laughter. Everyone else, though, did nothing to contain their laughter.

"It's a conspiracy," said Squall, shaking his head.

Seifer went up to Squall and slapped him on the shoulder. "Nah, we're just proving that you're human."

"Oh, hey," said Zell. "Like, we almost forgot! C'mon!" 

Rinoa picked Alexa back up into her arms, just in time for Zell to push everyone into the dining room. Part of the room was concealed behind what appeared to be a hastily hung blanket. When everyone was in position, he whipped away the blanket, revealing a large cake on their table. Written in icing on the top was: 

_"Squall, Rinoa, and Alexa, the Leonharts. Congradulations!"_

Quistis took a close look at the cake. "Hey...they misspelled 'congratulations!'"

"What?" Zell looked at the cake. "Aw, man! I should have known better than to get the cake somewhere that Big Bad Rascal worked!"

"Oh, it doesn't matter, right guys?" said Selphie. "What matters is that we're all here today to be with Squall, Rinny, and Lexie!"

She received unanimous agreement from the group. Then, she started handing out filled wine glasses to everyone, saying, "I wanted to say a few words to you all." Rinoa passed on the wine, not wanting to take a chance on transferring the alcohol to Alexa during a feeding.

"I know that Irvy and I don't get to see you all much anymore, since we're living in Trabia now, but you guys will always be our family. It won't be long before Irvy and I are married, and have kids of our own..."

Irvine fidgeted a little when she said that. Selphie continued, "...and I just wanted to say that no matter how far away we all may end up, we're always gonna be a family. And it'll be so much fun watching our kids grow up together, just like we all did...oops, sorry Rinny..."

"It's ok," said Rinoa. "You know, even though I didn't grow up with you guys, and I've only known you for a few years, I have to say you're the best friends, and closest family, I could have ever hoped for. Ever since I met you all, I had a sense of purpose in my life like I never did before. When I ran the Forest Owls, yeah, we had a mission, but they kinda put me on a pedestal like a statue. You guys, though, took me in like I'd always been one of you, and made me feel so welcome."

Her eyes started to tear up as she smiled. Squall held her close and stroked her hair as she continued, "I just want to say that I love you all so much!"

"Aww," said Selphie and Zell, simultaneously. They both gave Rinoa a big hug, and were joined by Irvine, Quistis, Seifer, and Cid.

After a few minutes of these displays of friendship, Squall spoke up. "I, uh, I'm not too good at this kind of thing, but, uh, I want you all to know how much I appreciate you all, too. I used to act like a real jerk, I admit it. But you all stuck with me and gave me a kick in the rear when I needed it." He gave a sidelong glance to Seifer. "I just, uh, wanna say thanks."

"Aww," said Selphie and Zell again, giving Squall a hug. Quistis, Irvine and Cid joined in on the hug. Squall tried not to be uncomfortable with the close contact. After everyone let go, he looked at Seifer.

_He looks a little uncomfortable,_ thought Squall. _I wonder what..._

Seifer walked over and hugged Squall. Nobody held in their surprised gasps, especially Squall. Seifer just said, "You're a good man, Squall. A real friend." He released the hug, looked at everyone else, and crossed his arms. "Hey, can't a guy give another guy a manly hug?"

Zell snickered. _"'Manly hug...'"_

Seifer sneered at him. "You wanna try me, kiddo?" Quistis covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.

Squall put his palm to his forehead. _At least Seifer doesn't call him "Chicken-Wuss" anymore._

"Hey, enough you two!" scolded Selphie, stepping in between them. "This is Squall and Rinny's party, and you won't mess it up!"

"Hey, we're only messing around, right Zell?" said Seifer.

"Yeah, chill out, Selph," said Zell. "We don't fight like that anymore. Not since I kicked his..."

"Hey!" said Seifer. "There are children present!"

"Tch," said Zell. "Can't take a joke."

Selphie sighed. "_Annnyway_, I want to propose a toast. That we'll always remain a family."

"Cheers!" said Irvine.

"Cheers," said Quistis.

"Ditto!" said Zell.

"Salud," said Seifer.

"Amen," said Cid.

"Cheers," said Squall and Rinoa in unison.

A few minutes later, Rinoa and Squall had cut the cake, and Selphie and Irvine were serving it. As they did that, Squall went up to Cid and asked quietly, "Sir, where's Matron? I...I need to talk to her."

"She said she had some things to take care of," said Cid. "She was hoping she'd get here in time for..."

"I'm here," came Edea's voice, as their matron glided into the room. 

"Hey, Matron!" said Selphie. "Glad you could make it!"

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," she answered. "No pun intended."

Her joke elicited a few uncomfortable laughs. As much as they loved their Matron, the memory of her being forced to fight against SeeD, and vice-versa, still blemished their minds.

"Matron," said Squall, walking over to her. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course, Squall," she said. Squall led her into the living room and motioned for her to have a seat. She sat gracefully, as if floating in the air.

Squall sat opposite her and marveled for a second. Matron, the woman that had brought them all up almost from birth, now looked only a few years older than the rest of them. _A side effect of being a Sorceress,_ thought Squall. _I wonder how old she_ really _is._

"Matron, I'm sorry for blowing up at you the other day. It was uncalled for."

Edea shook her head. "No apologies necessary, Squall. You are serving three important roles: husband, father, and knight. All are very stressful ones, but you are more than prepared to fill them. You only want the best for your family, just as I want the best for mine. All of you. That was why I sent those of you that hadn't already been adopted here to Garden, to spend the rest of your growing years. I knew what was coming, and needed to protect you all and Ellone. I may have told you before, but I'm very, very proud of how you have all turned out. You have all enriched my life."

Squall looked at her for a second. Then in a rush of emotion, he hugged her. She wrapped her arms around him and returned his embrace.

"We couldn't have asked for a better mother," said Squall.

At that moment, Quistis popped into the room. Seeing Squall and Edea embracing, she watched in amazement, surprised to see him showing his affection so tenderly to anyone other than Rinoa.

Squall let go of Edea, and, noticing Quistis staring at him, said, "What?"

"Uh, nothing," said Quistis. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, it's okay, Quisty, dear," said Edea, standing up. "We were just...talking. Shall we rejoin the party, Squall?"

Squall nodded and stood up. All three returned to the party in the dining room, where Irvine was trying to hand Rinoa a piece of cake. 

"Have some cake, Rin. I'll hold her for a while." Squall held his arms out.

"Ok, sweetie," said Rinoa, handing Alexa to him.

As Squall held her, Alexa looked up at him, and he could have sworn he sensed a thought from the child. No...more of a feeling.

_What is this place? It's so new. Will you protect me?_

Squall looked into her little blue eyes and smiled. 

_I'll always protect you,_ he replied.

  
  
  



	11. Chapter 10: New Lives And Old Pains

Chapter 10: New Lives And Old Pains  
Setting: Squall and Rinoa's Apartment  
Two Years Later

  
  
  


"Mommy! Daddy!"

Squall and Rinoa stirred from their sleep. "Mommy! Daddy!" the little voice cried again.

Squall glanced at the clock. _Twenty-three fifty. I just got to sleep, too._ "I'll go," he said sleepily. "You have to meet Quisty early in the morning."

"Okay," yawned Rinoa. She rolled over as Squall got up out of bed and padded on bare feet to the nursery.

He walked up to the crib and looked down at their daughter, Alexa. She looked at him with sad, frightened little hazel eyes. Her hair, jet black like her mother's, was tousled and clung to her scalp. 

"What's wrong, Lexie?" he asked, picking her up and cradling her in his arms.

The little girl just sniffled and snuggled her head in the crook of her father's arm. "Bad dream?" he asked.

"Uh huh," she said. He looked down at this little person. His daughter. His and Rinoa's daughter. For a child of two, she was very intelligent. Their friends had just attributed it to her parents' genes, but only Edea, Squall and Rinoa knew why she was _really_ so mature at such an early age.

"You gonna tell me about it?" he asked her, wiping a tear from her cheek. He held her upright, against his shoulder, and rocked gently.

"I saw...meen lady, she said I messed up time come-seshun. Then she made yoor lion fight me."

_Did...did she just say Time Compression?_ "It was just a..."

"Then Mommy waz in bed. Yoo tawkd to her, but she din't say ennything. Yoo were sad." The little girl looked ready to burst into tears again.

"Shh, shh," said Squall. "It was just a dream, sweetie. Everything's okay."

"I scared, Daddy."

"Okay, well, you can sleep with Mommy and me tonight, okay?"

The little girl smiled a little. "Okay."

He carried her back to their bedroom, laid her down in the middle of the bed, next to Rinoa, and then he lay down on his side of the bed.

_I heard what she said,_ came Rinoa's voice in his head.

In the two years since Alexa's birth, Rinoa and Squall had learned to speak to each other telepathically. Because of Rinoa's powers and the strong bond they shared, they were able to link minds. At first they'd only sensed each other's emotions, but they had eventually taught themselves how to speak without any audible conversation. It had been an immensely useful skill for when they wanted to have a private conversation in a crowded room, or if they didn't want their daughter to hear what they were saying.

_Sounds like she had some kind of flashback to our battle with Ultimecia, and then to the time you were in the coma,_ replied Squall.

_I'm really starting to think she inherited some of my memories when she got my powers,_ thought Rinoa, feeling her heart ache with guilt. _She's told me about these dreams before. None of them have been pleasant ones._

Squall, sensing her pain, reached over and took her hand. _You didn't know, Rin. Neither did I. But, would you have changed your mind about having children if you had known?_

_No, I wouldn't have,_ she replied, without hesitation. _I love Lexie too much, and I couldn't imagine life without her. She makes our family complete._

_And you both make my life complete,_ thought Squall. He felt Rinoa's pain lessen as she gripped his hand.

_Thanks, Squall. For always being there for me._

_We'll get through this all, I promise. Sweet dreams, my angels._

*   


The next morning, Squall shot awake, his heart beating rapidly and his breath shallow. Rinoa, who'd just been getting out of bed, turned to him with a start.

"Squall? What's wrong?"

Squall looked at her, his eyes wide with fear. He looked at her for a second. _She's...real? She's still alive? _ He sighed with relief. _Only a dream..._ He ran his fingers through his hair.

Rinoa circled the bed and knelt at his side. "Nightmare?"

Squall nodded.

_Will you tell me about it?_

He looked at Alexa, still soundly asleep next to him. _You sure you want to know?_

_Yes,_ replied Rinoa. _Whatever it was, I can tell how much it upset you._

_Okay..._

Squall took Rinoa's hand and squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to summon up the fleeing memories of his dream. As he did so, he invited Rinoa's consciousness into his mind to view them, as if they were a slide show.

Rinoa's breath quickened. _I looked so...dead...when I was lying there in that coma. I didn't realize how brokenhearted Squall was. I was so scared then, but so was he._

Then, she saw images of herself, lying in the same bed, but covered in blood. Her skin was pale white, and not even the movement of breath was visible in her chest.

The slide show faded away as Squall's memories of the dream dissolved into his conscious mind. Rinoa gripped his hand tightly. _Squall, it was only a dream. I'm here now, and I'm alive._

_And I thank God for that,_ said Squall. _I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you._

Rinoa smiled at him. _You won't. I promise._

Squall smiled at her, the sweat on his cheek catching the morning light from the window. _I'm gonna go make us some breakfast._ Before Rinoa could argue, Squall got up out of bed and headed for the kitchen.

Rinoa took a breath, trying to clear her mind of the disturbing images of herself that she's seen in Squall's dream. She headed for the vanity and started to get dressed.

Rinoa was buttoning her blouse when Alexa jumped off the bed, very much awake.

"Hi Mommy!"

"Hi, sweetie!" said Rinoa. "Go into the kitchen. Daddy's making you breakfast."

"Where ya goin', Mommy?"

"I'm going to meet Aunt Quisty soon," replied Rinoa. She took her brush and smoothed out her hair.

"Why?"

"Because her wedding's today, silly," said Rinoa. She glanced around the floor and found her brown slip-on sandals. She walked over and slid her bare feet into them.

"Wat's a wetting?" asked Alexa.

"_Wedding,_ Lexie," corrected Rinoa. "You were just at one a few months ago. It's, uh...ask Daddy. I have to go."

At that moment, Squall walked in, still wearing his pajamas. "Do you want something to eat before you go, Rin?"

"No, thanks," she replied. "Quisty and I are going to grab a bite in Balamb before our appointment."

"What's a pointmint?" asked Alexa's little voice.

"That's when you have to be somewhere on time, or you get in trouble," explained Squall.

"Ohhh. Don' want Mommy in twuble."

Squall smiled and picked their daughter up in his arms. "Have a good time," said Squall, giving Rinoa a kiss. "See you later. I can't wait to join you in the aisle again." He winked.

Rinoa kissed Alexa on the cheek. "Bye Lexie. Make sure Daddy behaves, okay?"

"'K," said Alexa. "Bye Mommy!"

Rinoa quickly went out the door, tucking her white blouse into her jeans as she walked.

"Ok, little one," said Squall. "We have to hurry up and eat so I can get you to Aunt Selphie and she can dress you up and do your hair."

"Oh, 'k." said Alexa. Squall set her on the floor and she scampered into the kitchen.

_What a little bundle of energy,_ thought Squall, heading toward the kitchen. _She reminds me of..._

"Unca Zell!"

"Hey, kid! How ya doin'?"

Squall turned around to see Zell, who had just come into the apartment.

"Hey, Zell. What's up?"

Zell shrugged. "Not much. Got a lot of nervous energy I'm trying to work off."

Squall smirked. "It's not even your wedding."

"I know, I know, but it's just so exciting, man! Quisty's getting married! And to Seifer, no less! Think you'd have guessed _that_ three years ago?"

Squall shrugged. "You hungry? We have extra, since Rin had to run out to meet Quisty."

"All right! Don't mind if I do!" Zell rushed over to the table and plopped down into the chair right next to the beaming Alexa.

Squall smiled and shook his head. _Zell will never change._ He walked up to the table and started placing the slices of French toast on Alexa's, Zell's, and his own plates. "How are you holding up with, you know...?"

Zell hesitated for a second. "Ok, I guess." His head drooped.

When Christine was sent on her mission to Esthar Garden two years ago, it had only been for a few weeks. However, that Garden's new Headmaster offered her an Instructor's position if she stayed there. As much as she missed Zell, she had to take the job. She and Zell had been having a long-distance relationship, and trying to visit each other when they could, but as time went by and they both got busier, they drifted apart. They had mutually decided to break up just last week, and it was still hitting Zell hard.

Alexa stopped eating her breakfast long enough to make a pouty face at Zell. "Unca Zell sad? I make yoo feel better?" She made a funny face.

Zell looked at the toddler, and couldn't help but smile. He ruffled her hair with a gloved hand and said, "Thanks. Lexie. I needed that. You excited about the wedding?"

"What's a wetting?"

"Oh, well, it's like..." Zell tried to search for the right words to describe it. "When you and someone else are in love, you decide to spend the rest of your lives together and have a family, you know? So you get married at a wedding. Like your mom and dad. And Aunt Selphie and Uncle Irvine."

"Oh," replied Alexa. "Daddy, yoo and Mommy have a wetting?"

Squall swallowed a mouthful of French toast and said, "We sure did."

Alexa gave him a pouty face. "I din't go."

"We had it before you were born," said Squall. "You weren't even conceived yet."

"What's kinseev?"

"It's...ah...I'll tell you when you're a little older," said Squall.

"Oh, 'k!" Alexa continued digging into her breakfast, getting most of it into her mouth.

Squall just watched her for a second as she ate. _Man, Edea was right. She's only two and she's already like a five-year-old. What will she be like when she's a teenager? I hope we can give her a chance to have a childhood before she grows up._

"Hey, Squall. Earth to Squall."

Squall snapped out of his thoughts. "Huh?"

Zell had already finished eating. "I said, thanks for breakfast. But you'd better hurry up and get dressed, so you can get Lexie over to Selphie's."

Squall looked at the wall clock. "Oh, yeah." He got up and went into the bedroom, closing the door.

"Unca Zell, yoo gonna have a wetting?"/p> 

Zell looked at the child, unsure what to say. _She's only two. She doesn't understand what I'm going through._

"Probably not for a while, kid. There's nobody I'm in love with."

"I luv yoo," said Alexa, giving him a big smile.

Zell returned the smile. "Thanks, but I don't think your dad would like that."

As if on cue, Squall emerged from the bedroom, wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and black sneakers. "C'mon, Lexie. We gotta get you cleaned up so you can see Aunt Selphie."

Alexa, her face smeared with maple syrup, slid out of her high chair and ran toward her bedroom cheering, "Yaaaaayyy!"

"Hey, little girl," said Squall. "The bathroom. I gotta clean you up first."

"'K!" said Alexa, switching directions and scrambling excitedly into the bathroom. Squall smiled and shook his head. "Your uniform ready?" Squall asked Zell.

"Yeah," Zell replied. "I'm kinda glad they decided to go with uniforms for both the ceremony and the reception. That tux I had at your wedding didn't fit right."

Squall shrugged. "You should have said something about it."

"I did. That psycho you guys found to do the tuxes threatened to hang me from the roof with his tape measure."

Squall laughed, in spite of himself. As he walked into the bathroom to clean up Alexa, he said, "You could have taken him."

Zell shook his head. "Hey, I'll see ya later. I'm gonna go help get the ballroom ready for the reception. See ya, Lexie!"

Squall was wiping his daughter's face clean with a wet washcloth. "Bye bye, Unca Zell," said Alexa through Squall's scrubbing.

"You must have liked your breakfast," said Squall. "You're wearing half of it."

Alexa just gave him an innocent smile. _She looks so much like Rinoa, it's uncanny,_ he thought. _She's even got the cute little grin down pat._

"All right, let's go get some clothes on you so you can see Aunt Selphie."

*   


"Heeeeey! How are ya Lexie?"

Alexa ran into Selphie's waiting arms. Selphie scooped her up and lifted her high above her head.

"Hi Aunt Sefie! Hi Unca Irvy!" Alexa waved her hands excitedly. Selphie spun her around in the air, giving her butterfly kisses. 

Irvine stepped out of the bathroom in his pajama pants and muscle shirt, with a towel around his neck. "Hey, kid! How are you doing?"

"Good!" said Alexa. She grabbed Irvine's beard and gave it a little tug. Irvine responded by making a funny face. Alexa giggled at him. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Huh," said Squall. "Don't remember you ever getting that excited about seeing _me_." 

"Oh, sorry," said Irvine. He walked over to Squall and tried to kiss him. Squall just backed away, defending himself with his hands.

"Don't even think about it, Cowboy," said Squall.

"Hah! Still the same old Squall!"

"Whatever."

Irvine laughed, and headed back for the bathroom. Selphie had ignored the exchange, and was instead talking with Alexa.

"So, are you ready for the wedding?"

"Yah, I ready! What I gotta do?" asked Alexa.

"You're gonna be the flower girl! You get a basket full of pretty flower petals, and you get to throw them on the floor of the chapel, like this!" Selphie pranced across the room, pretending to hold a basket in one hand and toss flower petals in the other.

"Like this?" Alexa tried to copy Selphie, dancing and skipping across the room.

"Yeah!" Selphie continued doing her "flower girl" dance, inciting Alexa to continue copying her. They both giggled at their own silliness.

"Hey Irvine," said Squall. "You better come out here and check on your wife. I think she's lost it."

Selphie, not wanting to give Squall the satisfaction of stopping, stuck her tongue out at him. "You're just jealous. You oughta try this! It's fun!"

Squall put his hand to his forehead. "You're gonna teach my daughter bad habits, Instructor. I can't imagine what _your_ kids will pick up!"

Selphie just smiled and kept prancing around the room with Alexa, now holding her hands. "Well, I'm only a few weeks along, so I gotta practice with Lexie. Right?"

"Right!" said Alexa.

Squall sighed. _This is a conspiracy against me._ "Lexie, I have to go take care of a few things. I'll see you just before the wedding, okay sweetie?"

"'K, Daddy!" said Lexie, running up to him. Squall kneeled down, and she hugged his neck tightly. "See yoo later!"

*   


Seifer stood in his dorm room, staring himself down in the mirror. He had on his trousers and favorite dark blue shirt with the white cross, emblazoned on the front.

_This is the last time I'll be living in this room,_ he thought. _After today, I'll be married. Married._ He shook his head. _Man, this is just crazy! Never thought I'd actually be married! _

He studied himself in the mirror. _Is this right? Should we be getting married? I mean, what if..._

There was a knock at his door. Seifer stepped over and opened it. "Hey, Seifer," said Squall, his visitor. "How you doing?"

"Oh, just great," said Seifer, trying to put on his normal confident tone.

"Sounds like the wedding day jitters," said Squall. He spread his hands. "Normal, trust me." He closed the door behind him.

"I just can't believe it," said Seifer, shedding his haughty air. "I'm gonna be married. Mister and Missus Almasy. This is just...too much." He sat down on his bed, looking at the floor.

"Hey," said Squall, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder, "try not to worry about it. Everything will be fine. Everybody knows you and Quistis are perfect together, and I bet you're gonna grow old together in Balamb with lots of grandchildren."

Seifer snorted. "That supposed to make me feel better?"

Squall gave a half-smile. "Not really. But if it _does_ make you feel any better, I went through the same thing the morning of my wedding."

Seifer looked up at him. "You did? That kinda surprised me. You and Rinoa were always...you know..."

Squall raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. "Ask Zell. He practically had to drag me out of bed that morning. Don't tell Rinoa about that. But seriously, let me ask you a question. Are you sure you still want to do this?"

"Well, yeah, I'm sure! Pretty sure. I guess..."

Squall sat down on the bed. "Well, if youre not sure, then I guess I should go tell Quisty the wedding's off."

Seifer shot up and towered over the seated Squall. "_What?_"

Squall looked up at him calmly. "You obviously don't want to marry her, so it'd be better to tell her now, instead of at the altar."

"Don't you _dare_ tell her that! I love her, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her!" Seifer stopped as he realized what he'd just said. _I love her? Yes, of course I do!_ "I...love...her. I want to...spend the rest of my life with her."

Squall stood up, facing Seifer. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it? Can I assume the wedding is still on?"

Seifer looked off into space for a second, then turned to Squall and nodded. "Yes, it's still on."

Squall smiled. "Zell pulled the same trick on me when I was in your position. I said about the same thing you just did."

Seifer looked him in the eye for a second. Then, he laughed and said, "Damn, Squall, when did you get to be a psychologist?"

"Just after I finished puberty." They both laughed.

"Come on," said Squall, "you should start getting ready. I'll meet you in the back of the chapel in about an hour."

*   


About four hours later, Quistis stood in the vestibule at the back of the Garden Chapel, chewing nervously on the inside of her cheek. She looked at herself once again in the mirror, drinking in her full image. She wore a lacy white gown that seemed to shimmer in the light. The hem at the front stopped mid-calf, while the train dragged a foot behind her. The bouquet in her hands, consisting of bright red roses and bold purple violets, brought brilliant color to her ensemble. Her hair and makeup, professionally done in Balamb that morning, accentuated her natural beauty and gave her the air of a goddess. A single tear ran down her cheek as she contemplated what she was about to do.

"Quisty, you okay?" asked Rinoa, stepping up beside her. Rinoa wore a shiny purple gown that stopped just above her ankles. Red frill at the bottom hem, sleeves, and bust line contrasted sharply with her fair skin. She also held a bouquet, but this one was smaller and consisted of red and purple carnations. Her hair, normally straight, had been curled, and her bangs had been teased so they stood out from her forehead.

"Yeah, I'm fine," replied Quistis, wiping the tear away with a lacy-gloved hand. "She said the makeup is waterproof, right?"

Rinoa chuckled. "Yeah. I think every bride cries on her wedding day."

Xu stepped up to the bride. He also wore a purple bridesmaid dress, nearly identical to Rinoa's. Her dark hair had been released from her normal tight braid and flowed down half the length of her back. "Nervous?" she asked.

"A little, Headmaster," replied Quistis, giggling slightly.

"Oh, stop it, _Instructor_," said Xu, unable to contain her smile.

Edea and Ellone both walked up to them, admiring Quistis. Both wore formal attire, but were not part of the ceremony. "You certainly are beautiful, Quisty," said Ellone. "When Seifer sees you, his heart is going to stop."

"Everything will be fine, Quistis, dear," said Edea. "This will be the happiest day of your life, and you'll always remember it fondly."

Quistis smiled. "Thanks, Sis, Matron. I don't know what I'd do without all of you."

At that moment, Selphie rushed into the vestibule, with Alexa in tow. "C'mon, Lexie! It's almost time!"

"Hey, Mommy, look what _I_ got!" Alexa ran up to Rinoa to show her the basket of petals.

"They're so pretty, Lexie!" said Rinoa.

"Aunt Quisty, Aunt Elle, Matron, look what _I_ got!"

"Oh, they're so beautiful, Lexie," said Quistis.

"Are you going to be the flower girl, Lexie?" asked Ellone.

"Uh, huh," said Alexa. "I gonna throw _all_ the flowers on the floor!"

"That's great, Lexie," said Edea. "Just remember to save some for after the ceremony."

Alexa looked at Edea quizzically. "What's a sare...moe...nee?"

"The wedding is a ceremony," said Edea.

"Oh. I don' get it." Before anyone else could explain further, Alexa skipped happily away toward Selphie.

"Five minutes, ladies!" said Selphie, her voice brimming with excitement. She wore a purple gown, very similar to Rinoa's but her hair was done in her normal fashion. Since she was directing the ceremony (as usual), she had opted to spend the morning preparing the Chapel instead of going with Quistis and Rinoa to Balamb. "Everyone ready?"

The women all replied affirmatively. Quistis walked up to Selphie. "Thanks, Sefie, for doing this all for us."

"Hey, no prob, Quisty!" replied Selphie. "Least I could do for my bridesmaid!"

Quistis' thoughts flashed back to a year ago. Selphie and Irvine were married in the Trabia Garden Chapel, and Selphie had wanted it to be the biggest ceremony anyone had ever seen. She had five bridesmaids, Rinoa, Quistis, and Ellone being three of them. It truly had been the biggest bash any Garden had seen, and it had cost Selphie and Irvine their entire savings. _Oh, well,_ thought Quistis. _Guess you only get married once. Hopefully._

"Okay, everybody get into position," ordered Selphie "Sis, you have to go sit down now! Matron, Nida will be here in a second to escort you to your seat."

Ellone gave Quistis one last kiss on the cheek before heading into the Chapel. Edea put her hand on Quistis' shoulder and said, "Enjoy your day, Quistis. And congratulations."

Quistis reached out and hugged Edea. "Thanks, Matron,"

At that moment, Cid arrived in his tuxedo. "Sorry I'm late," he said. "They gave me the wrong size jacket."

Edea stepped toward Cid and said, "They gave you the right jacket. You just put it on with the wrong body." She patted his belly.

"Hey, that's not fair," said Cid, blushing. The women all laughed. Alexa joined in the laughing, although she wasn't sure why. 

Just then, Nida popped his head through the white curtain covering the doorway. "Ms. Kramer, are you ready?"

"Yes, Nida, I am." Edea walked up to him as he emerged from the curtain. He held out his arm, and she took it.

"Wait a second..." said Selphie. "They're supposed to start the music any time now..."

They waited, but only heard the lull of hundreds of quiet conversations in the Chapel. "Come on..." said Selphie, starting to stomp her feet. Her high-heeled sandals clacked against the tile floor, more loudly that anyone wished.

"Selphie, calm..." started Rinoa.

The music started suddenly. The Chapel organ, accompanied by a harpsichord, played a surprisingly cheerful medley.

"Go go go," whispered Selphie.

Nida and Edea stepped through the white curtain, as the conversations in the Chapel ceased.

"Okay, Xu, get ready!"

Xu stepped in front of the curtain, waiting for the "Procession of Witnesses" to begin. She looked over at Quistis and gave her a quick wink. "See you at the altar, Quist."

At the front of the Chapel, Zell, Irvine, Squall, and Seifer stood straight and proud in their SeeD dress uniforms. Seifer had opted not to wear his signature trench coat, but Irvine (as always) wore his hat. Seifer seemed the least comfortable of the four; he was wringing his hands and cracking his knuckles. Squall looked back at him. "You okay, Seifer?"

Zell and Irvine looked back at Seifer as well. "Yeah, fine," Seifer said, a little quickly. "It's just my wedding, after all." He hoped no one besides his four friends could hear him over the music.

Squall gave a half-smile and pounded lightly on Seifer's shoulder with his fist. "Relax. Before you know it, it'll be over."

"Yeah," said Irvine in a stage whisper, "and then it'll be wedding night..." Seifer and Squall both shot him a look. "Jeez," Irvine sighed. "You guys have no sense of humor."

"Yer one to talk," said Zell. "Remember the night before _your_ wedding, you got so nervous that you..."

"Okay, I surrender!" Irvine interrupted, raising his hands in defeat. "Ganging up on me," he muttered.

"Ssh," said Zell. "Matron just sat down. Our part's coming up!"

Just as he said that, the music ceased and the Chapel fell silent. After a few moments, a flowing melody swept through the Chapel. The white curtain in the back opened, revealing Headmaster Xu. She started walking down the aisle in an even wedding march.

"Damn," whispered Zell. "She's _hot_!" 

Seifer had to admit Zell had a point. They'd never before seen Xu without her SeeD uniform. They'd figured she slept in it. _Man, I wonder how many Trabia students will be ogling her after this,_ he thought.

When Xu reached the halfway point, Zell started marching toward her. This being his third time as a groomsman in only a few years, he'd finally learned to keep a steady pace during the procession. Once he reached her, he offered his arm, and she took it with a smile. Returning the smile, Zell walked with her toward the altar.

"Hey, I just had a crazy idea," said Irvine. "Zell and Xu, whaddaya think?"

Seifer made a face, but then furrowed his brow as he considered the pairing. "You know...that might not be a bad idea."

"You sure?" asked Squall. "They're complete opposites."

"Hey, opposites attract," said Irvine. "Look at you and Rinoa."

"Cowboy's got a point," said Seifer.

"Hmm...maybe..." said Squall.

"Selphie and Xu have gotten pretty close, and..." 

"Shh!" said Squall and Seifer. Irvine looked in front of him just in time to see Zell and Xu walk past. Xu looked at the gentlemen and smiled, and Zell gave them a questioning look.

_He knows we were talking about him,_ thought Seifer. _With any luck, he'll forget by the time the ceremony's over._

The white curtain opened again. This time, Selphie stood there, beaming with pride and happiness. Happiness for Quistis and Seifer, and pride that the ceremony she'd arranged was already going so well. Irvine gave her a goofy smile, admiring her gown.

Seifer, noticing Irvine's expression, rolled his eyes and smiled. _Those two should be the mascots for Garden. They're like human caricatures._

Once Selphie reached the midway point, Irvine started marching toward her. When he reached her, she took his arm excitedly, and he whispered something at her. She covered her mouth, but wasn't able to silence her giggles.

"I don't even want to know what he just said to her," said Squall.

"Likewise," said Seifer. _Knowing him, it was either something sickeningly mushy or too dirty to be said out loud in public._

As Irvine and Selphie passed them, she winked at Seifer. Squall turned back to Seifer and said, "I forgot to tell you, there's a lot of winking that goes on at a wedding. I've never figured out why."

Seifer chuckled. He remembered being in the back of the Chapel during Squall's wedding, and the funny looks he'd given each of the bridesmaids as they walked past him. 

The white curtain opened a third time. Out marched Rinoa, her hair curled and teased like none had seen before. Squall gasped when he saw this. _I...I've never seen her with curly hair! It's kind of...sexy!_

_I heard that,_ replied Rinoa in his head.

_Am I not allowed to say you're sexy?_ asked Squall.

_Are you saying my hair isn't sexy when it's straight?_

_What? No, that's not what I meant! I was just saying..._ Squall tried to find the right words to keep himself out of trouble.

_Hee hee hee,_ said Rinoa. _You're too easy._

Seifer watched Squall as he stared at Rinoa. _Man, he must be ultra-in love with her to be staring at her like that,_ thought Seifer. _He almost looks like he's talking to her. Must come from being together so long._

Seifer looked away and lost himself in his own thoughts. _This is it, Almasy. After today, you can't just think about yourself anymore. Not that you've been doing a whole lot of that lately._

_Are we gonna have kids, like Squall and Rinoa?_ Seifer chewed on his lip. _We never even talked about that. But she loves Squall and Rinoa's kid so much and she loves it when I help her baby-sit Alexa. No, I can't be a father. That's not something I'd be good at. I couldn't even look after two grown adults._

He sighed. He acted like he no longer blamed himself for Fujin and Raijin's deaths, but deep inside, he knew it was his foolishness that got them killed. _There's no way I could protect a helpless baby._

He snapped out of his trance when the music stopped once again. He looked up at the altar, and saw that Squall and Rinoa had already taken their places with everyone else.

_Wake up, Seifer. This is it._

The Wedding March, masterfully rendered on the pipe organ and harpsichord, filled the Chapel. He watched the white curtain at the opposite end of the aisle. The curtain pulled back at either side, and Seifer gasped.

There stood the woman of his dreams. Even though Seifer knew that comparing a woman to an angel was an overused cliché, he couldn't help but think, _She is an angel. I must have done something really good to deserve her._

Her honey-colored hair surrounded her head like a halo, spreading its golden light down her shoulders over the back of her gown. And the gown...the purest white he had ever seen. It was as if the gown drew its brilliance from the pure soul wearing it, and projected it for all the world to see. 

The only disruption of her bright, pure appearance was the bouquet of red and purple flowers she held in one hand. He didn't really care what kind of flowers they were, but at this moment, they reflected the passion he'd seen in her eyes and in her heart. His bride was a strong woman, yet so delicate in appearance. Once again, she stole his heart. This time, it was from across a crowded chapel.

He finally noticed, in his peripheral vision, that Headmaster Cid was escorting her. _Cid must give away every SeeD bride,_ thought Seifer. _Then again, the only SeeD brides have been Selphie, and Quist, who are orphans, and Rinoa, who hates her father. I guess he's the closest thing any of us have had to a _real_ father._

As Cid and Quistis marched down the aisle, Cid looked at Seifer. "He can't believe how beautiful you are," he said quietly to the Instructor. "You know, when I told you to take Seifer under your wing, I didn't necessarily mean this."

Quistis laughed. The quick show of emotion forced out tears that had welled in her eyes. _This is the happiest moment of my life. I finally have someone that loves me for who I am, and that I can love back. _

Seifer saw her laugh, and smiled. _Cid must have told her some joke. He always throws out jokes in serious situations. Maybe that's why everyone likes him so much._

Suddenly, he realized that he needed to start heading toward them; she'd so captivated him that he'd forgotten. He gazed at her, mesmerized, as he made his way down the aisle toward her.

Once he reached Cid and Quistis, he just looked at his bride. She was crying.

"Are you ok?" Seifer asked.

Quistis nodded, flashing a bright grin. "I'm fine."

"Seifer," said Cid. Seifer took his eyes off Quistis for the first time since she'd appeared. Cid was giving him a proud smile, and, if Seifer wasn't mistaken, had a tear in his eye.

"Seifer, I am very proud of you. I want you to take good care of her. You make each other happy."

Seifer nodded, and the men shook hands. "Thank you, sir. I will."

Seifer offered his arm to Quistis, who gladly took it. She gazed at her groom. _Seifer, I was so lost before I found you. Let's make it us, together forever._

They continued walking toward the altar, amidst the smiles of their friends. Quistis came to a realization at that moment. _The old crew is together again. It's been such a long time. Friendship is such a wonderful thing. Almost as wonderful as true love._

The ceremony itself was rather short. The SeeD Chaplain, John Victor, gave a very concise, yet very moving, sermon on the love between two people and how love was what kept the world alive. Seifer and Quistis gazed at each other throughout almost all of the ceremony, both thanking God that, no matter how cruel fate had been, it had eventually brought them together.

Once they'd reached the end of the ceremony, the couple didn't even wait for the chaplain's permission to kiss. The chaplain merely smiled and said, "I would like to present to you all, my friends, Mister and Missus Almasy-Trepe!"

The crowd roared with applause.

*   


Hours later that evening, the wedding reception had dwindled down to a handful of people socializing in the Garden Ballroom. As always, Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine would be the last ones to leave. Headmaster Cid and Edea had turned in an hour before, and Quistis and Seifer were on their way to their honeymoon, being flown by Nida in the Ragnarok. Ellone had taken Alexa to a seat in the corner, and both were fast asleep.

Rinoa gazed at her daughter, sleeping on Ellone's lap. "Ellone would make such a good mother," said Rinoa.

Squall nodded. "Wonder if she's seeing anybody in Esthar."

"She's a very pretty, very wonderful woman," said Rinoa. "I can't imagine any man that wouldn't want to be with her."

"Yeah, but she's kinda famous for having the time-travel powers, you know," said Zell. "I'd bet a lot of guys are scared of her."

Rinoa had no answer. Squall squeezed her shoulder. She looked at him, and took his hand in hers.

"Rinny, you okay? I say something wrong?" asked Zell.

"No, Zell," said Rinoa. "I just...feel sorry for her. All the tragedy she's had to live with since she was almost as young as Lexie, and it doesn't look like it'll ever end for her."

"She'll be okay," said Squall. "She's strong, to have made it through all that. Plus, Laguna loves her a lot. Knowing him, he's probably working on getting her blind dates left and right."

Rinoa gave a small laugh. Looking around, she decided to change the subject. "Looks like we're the last ones here. Guess that means we should probably turn in."

Irvine wrapped his arms around Selphie's waist. "Everything turned out great, Sefie."

"Tee hee," giggled Selphie. "It was great, wasn't it? Guess we have to clean up now."

"Nah," said Squall. "Do it in the morning. I'll get the custodians to help out, too. I think it's time we all turned in."

"I hate to disturb them, though," said Rinoa, gesturing toward Ellone and Alexa.

"Ah, why don't we just leave them there? They look comfy enough," said Zell, smirking.

"Yeah, until Lexie wakes up and thinks she can have the leftover cake over there for breakfast," said Rinoa.

"Hey, what's wrong with cake for breakfast?" asked Selphie. "I like cake for breakfast! All that sugar gives me energy!"

Squall coughed. _So that explains it. _

Rinoa yawned. "Come on, honey. Let's get Lexie and go home. See you guys later!"

The group all said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Squall and Rinoa walked up to Alexa and Ellone, and studied them for a second.

_It's ironic,_ thought Squall to Rinoa, before he realized what he was doing.

_What is?_

_Huh? Oh, uh...sorry,_ replied Squall. _I didn't mean to think that out loud._

_Well, what did you mean?_ insisted Rinoa.

Squall sighed. _It just kinda popped in my head how Lexie, the second most powerful sorceress in the world, has done what Ultimecia failed to do. Get close to Ellone._

Rinoa sighed. _That's not something I really wanted to think about tonight._

_Sorry,_ said Squall. _You asked._

_Remind me not to ask next time._

Squall wrapped his arms around Rinoa. She shut her eyes, a pained expression on her face. _I wonder what the future holds for our daughter. She has some of the power that once existed inside Adel and Ultimecia. I've learned to deal with it, and I was so lucky to have you and Edea to protect me. But, what will happen when Lexie decides to go out on her own? She won't be a child forever._

Squall leaned his head into Rinoa's, and breathed in the scent of her hair. _Lavender, so soothing,_ he thought privately. Then, to his wife, _No, she won't be. I think the best we can do is try to give her a normal childhood, but teach her about who she is and what she can do, so she won't be surprised when her abilities manifest themselves. And then just do our best to keep her safe._

Rinoa tilted her head, feeling Squall's warm breath on the back of her neck. _Let's take her home,_ she thought. As Squall released her, she put a hand on Ellone's shoulder. Ellone's eyes opened slowly, and she smiled when she saw Rinoa and Squall standing over her.

"It's way past her bedtime," said Rinoa. "Thanks for watching her."

"No problem," whispered Ellone. "She's really an amazing little girl. I'm glad I get to stay for a few more weeks, so I can see her. And all of you."

"You're welcome to stay as long as you want," said Squall. _I want to get to know you again, Sis,_ he thought.

Rinoa gently lifted her daughter from Ellone's lap, being careful not to wake her. "We're both working tomorrow, but you can see her in Child Care. She'd love to see you."

"I think I will. Thanks."

Rinoa smiled. "Good night, Elle." Squall gave Ellone a smile.

"Good night, guys."

Squall and Rinoa walked out of the ballroom, Rinoa carrying the slumbering Alexa.

_We're going to do everything we can to give her a normal life, right, Squall? Not like either of us had, but a normal, happy life, with a mom and a dad. I want her to be happy, Squall._

Squall squeezed her arm. _She will be. I promise._

  
  
  


Author's note: I revised the Prologue, and plan to do that same to the first couple chapters. After finishing Chapter 9, I went back and re-read everything, and realized that I could have done much better with it. I hope you like it!


	12. Chapter 11: Heaven's Gain

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and everything related belongs to SquareSoft, because they're really cool. 

  
  
  


Chapter 11: Heaven's Gain  
Setting: Squall and Rinoa's Bedroom  
One Year Later

  
  


Squall awoke with a start. His sweat-soaked hair clung to his forehead as he looked around the room, trying to remember where he was. His breath came in quick gulps and his heart fluttered.

He looked at Rinoa, who had awakened at almost the same second. She was also coated with sweat, and looked at Squall with shock. As their minds reoriented themselves to reality, they grabbed each other in a tight, desperate embrace.

_Thank God you're alive,_ he thought to her. _These dreams are driving me out of my mind._

_Was that your dream or mine?_ she asked.

_I think it was mine, Rin. Just like always._

Rinoa squeezed him tightly. _You have to see somebody about these dreams, Squall!_

_I promise I'll talk to Doctor Kadowaki after the mock battle tomorrow,_ said Squall. _It was bad enough when I was the only one having them, but now that they're passing on to you..._

_How long have you been having that dream?_ She rubbed the back of his head, trying to soothe her husband's fear.

_Since just after Lexie was born,_ Squall replied. _I didn't have them very often at first, and they didn't start out that graphic, but..._ Squall inhaled deeply and did his best to control his emotions. He felt like crying, but refused to allow himself to do it.

_Squall, I'm here. Everything is okay. You can let it out if you need to. I'll always be here for you._

_I'm ok, I promise,_ said Squall, summoning up his strength. _I'm your knight. I'm supposed to protect_ you.

Rinoa pulled away from him just enough to look him in the eyes. Despite the darkness in the room, she could see the embarrassment in his eyes. _Squall, it's as much the Sorceress' job to protect her knight as it is her knight's job to protect her. We both need each other. We always have. Being afraid for each other isn't a weakness, it can make us stronger when we protect each other._

Squall blinked for a second, and smiled at her. _You're right._

Rinoa smiled back. _Of course I am._

Squall sighed, and gazed into her eyes. After a few moments, he thought, _We both have big days tomorrow and we need our sleep. My heart's moving at a mile a minute. How are we gonna get _back_ to sleep?_

Rinoa shrugged. _You sure you_ want _to go back to sleep? _

Squall nodded. _I have to. How about a couple Sleep spells, my Sorceress?_

Rinoa smiled. _Your wish is my pleasure._ She then whispered, "Sleep". Magical energies surrounded Squall, and he collapsed, suddenly relaxed, onto his pillow. Rinoa watched him sleep for a few minutes, then kissed a finger and pressed it to his lips. _Sleep well, my knight. No more dreams for you tonight._

She looked down at her abdomen and said, "You gonna let me sleep the rest of the night, Jett?" She sighed and rubbed her hand on her stomach. _Our son,_ she thought. "Sleep," she said again. The supernatural waves surrounded her, sending her into a deep, dreamless slumber.

*   


"Ok, class, what is this?" Rinoa held up a placard with a drawing of a car on it.

"Car!" said her students.

"And how do you spell it?"

Rinoa smiled as the entire group of twelve children replied, not quite in unison, "C...A...R."

"Very good! Now who can tell me which of these pictures is not car?"

All the children raised their hands at once. As Rinoa was deciding which to call on, the loudspeaker emitted three cycles of a klaxon alarm. Then, Squall's voice filled the room: "Attention Balamb Garden staff and students, attention. We have detected a hostile force approaching us from bearing sixty-two at one hundred kph. All crews to battle stations, code orange. All non-essential personnel to bunkers, code orange. Garden will be lifting off in two minutes. That is all."

_Code orange. So the "war games" with Trabia Garden are finally getting started. I thought they were supposed to be here this morning._ Rinoa shook her head. "All right, class, everybody line up at the door, single file. We're going to go to the emergency stairway and down to the bunker at level B, just like we practiced. Remember to walk and be calm, but move quickly."

When the class was lined up, Rinoa opened the door and led them out into the corridor. The other classrooms were clearing out, and all students not assigned to a battle station were proceeding, single file, toward the emergency stairwell.

Her students, although only five-to six-years old, behaved very well and calmly walked down the stairs to the B level. The floor formerly occupied by the late Garden Master NORG had been refitted as a reinforced bunker to house Garden's non-combatant residents, in case of attack. Squall had wanted to ensure that, if Garden were ever forced into direct battle again, that those not actively fighting would be as safe as possible.

Rinoa led the students into the cavernous room and to their seats. Several long, high-backed, padded benches were installed in the room, creating several aisles down the length of the room. The benches were also fitted with seat belts and chest restraints, to protect those inside in case Garden were struck by heavy artillery, or if it were rammed.

As Rinoa finished strapping her students in, she heard another Instructor's frantic cry. "Oh, no! Michael? Where's Michael?" Rinoa ran over to the woman, who looked only a couple years older than she.

Rinoa tried to calm her down and said, "Are you missing a student?"

"Yes! He must have wandered off on the way down here!" 

Rinoa nodded. _I have to remember most of the staff doesn't know this is just a drill._ "How old is he?"

"Uh, a-about e-eight," stammered the Instructor. "His name's Michael Raventrap." 

"I'll go find him for you. Stay here."

"W-wait, Instructor Leonhart, don't! It's too dangerous!" The Instructor stepped in front of Rinoa.

"It'll be ok, trust me!" said Rinoa, lightly pushing the woman aside. "Stay here and watch over my kids, okay?"

The other Instructor, now beginning to hyperventilate, said, "Okay."

Rinoa put her hand on the woman's shoulder. "Everything will be okay." She then squeezed her way back through the door into the bunker, past a protesting SeeD guard.

Once back in the stairwell, Rinoa worked her way through the last few queues of students and arrived on the first floor. After a quick look around her, she cast a wide-range Scan spell. Even though it would not be as precise at wide range, she knew she could use it to detect an out-of-place eight-year-old boy in a nearly empty Garden.

She jogged around the first floor ringway, scanning the entire area. "Michael? Michael Raventrap? Are you here?" Her Scans returned nothing. _He's not in the ringway, and the SeeDs guarding each sector wouldn't let an 8-year old kid run around in an emergency situation._ She ran back to the stairwell and hurried up to the second floor.

*   


On the bridge, Squall studied the rapidly approaching Trabia Garden in his binoculars. "Weapon status?"

"Missile banks...one, three and four are loaded and ready. Two is coming up," said Nida. "Gatling guns are primed and set. Countermeasures are charged and ready."

Squall nodded. "Set countermeasures on auto-launch, and wait on my order to fire. Rule of engagement for this practice: they need to make the first move." Nida nodded and relayed the commands to the weapons crews through his headset.

"All right!" said Zell, jumping in the air. "We're gonna kick their butts!"

"Don't get too confident," said Squall. "I hear they have some excellent tacticians over there. What's our readiness?"

"Hang on," said Zell. He keyed his headphone mic, and said, "What's our battle readiness?" He nodded as he listened to the report. "Okay, everyone's in the bunkers...except...say that again? Ah, hell. One of the Instructors lost a kid, and another Instructor is out trying to find him."

_Dammit, what the hell is that person doing? For all they know, this is a real attack! _"Great. Tell the sector guards..."

Zell held up his hand. "Repeat that last part...? It's _who_?" Then, to Squall, "It's Rinoa, chasing down one of Laceel Markson's students."

Squall sighed and put his hand to his forehead. _I told her she has to treat this like a real attack._ "She knows it's a drill, Zell, but knowing her, she'd probably do the same thing even if the attack were real. Let her go." _If I send any SeeDs to stop her, she'll probably scratch them to death._

Zell nodded. "She'll be okay," he said into the mic. "We'll sort everything out after the exercise is over."

*   


Quistis arrived with her students a few minutes after Rinoa had left. After she finished her headcount, she said, "Is there anyone missing?"

The SeeD guarding the door said to her, "Looks like only two are, Instructor. The rest are present and accounted for."

"Why are two people missing?" she asked. Then, quietly enough for only him to hear her, "Everyone is supposed to think this is a real attack."

"Uh, Quistis?" said a petite read-headed woman wearing an Instructor's uniform. "One of my students got away on the way down here from the second floor. Instructor Leonhart went after him."

Quistis closed her eyes and sighed. _Squall's going to have a fit when this is all over. _"Okay, I'm going to go get her," she said to the guard. 

"What? No, ma'am, I can't let you do that. I have to make sure everyone stays here until an all-clear is issued." The SeeD straightened up, but looked nervous to be facing off with the well-respected Quistis Trepe. "I-I have to k-keep everyone here for their own safety."

_I don't have the time to argue about this._ "I'm pulling rank on you. Let me go, or you'll be back to Rank Level 1 before you know it."

"Uh...uh..." stammered the SeeD. Finally, he stepped aside and let Quistis open the bunker door.

Quistis sprinted up the stairs, hearing the bunker door slam shut behind her. When she reached the first floor, she heard a faint voice echoing through the door.

"Michael? Michael, where are you? We have to get to the bunker!"

Quistis continued up to the second floor, intending to use the high vantage point of the upper ringway to search the first level. When she arrived, she heard the voice calling again:

"Michael Raventrap, can you hear me? This is Instructor Leonhart! We have to get to the bunker!"

_She's on this floor,_ thought Quistis. Then, she heard another voice:

"I...I'm here, Instructor! What's going on? I'm scared!"

_He's on this floor, too. At least I won't have to go far to find them._ At that moment, she heard several loud whumps, as if a set of air cylinders had been forcefully activated. _The countermeasures,_ thought Quistis. _The attack is starting. Squall's_ really _going to be upset._

*   


On the bridge, Nida said, "Attack detected. Countermeasures have auto-launched."

Squall and Zell both watched the missiles fly out from Trabia Garden, which was growing closer with each minute. As the missiles approached, each one struck the floating countermeasure spheres. Instead of exploding, however, they popped, releasing a colored gel that sprayed out in all directions.

"Awesome!" shouted Zell. "They worked!"

"Second volley on its way," said Nida. A second set of missiles could be seen heading from the other Garden. This time, however, instead of hearing the pneumatic rush of the countermeasure launching system, they only heard the din of Garden's levitation system. "Squall...the launching system has a fault...the countermeasures are still in the tubes!"

"Evasive!" said Squall. "Launch our missile volley, and let's hope they intercept some of those."

"Hey, Squall...now Quistis is out of the bunker, looking for Rinoa!" Zell said, throwing his arms up in frustration.

"Dammit!" shouted Squall. "This war game is already turning out to be a big mess!" He grabbed the bridge railing as Nida steered Garden to the right, trying to avoid Trabia Garden's attack.

"Hey," said Zell, looking through his binoculars. "That one got past our missiles...and it's contrail doesn't look right!"

*   


"Michael!" Rinoa ran around the ringway, homing in on the spot where she'd sensed the young student. She finally found him sitting on the floor, his knees huddled to his chest. "Hey, Michael, are you okay?"

"I'm scared," said the little boy.

"It's okay, everything will be okay," said Rinoa, pulling the young boy into a hug. "Come on, we have to get to the B level." She took his hand, and the young man stood up.

"Rinoa!"

Rinoa looked behind her, and saw Quistis running toward her.

"Quisty!" Rinoa waved to Quistis. Then, to Michael, "Run to Instructor Trepe, okay? I'll be right behind you."

Michael nodded and started running to Quistis. Quistis shouted, "Let's get a move on, we have to get back to the bunker! The attack's already happening!"

Rinoa nodded, and started jogging toward Quistis. She heard several "plops", as dummy missiles struck Garden. _Looks like this'll be quite a fight,_ she thought. 

As Rinoa neared an open classroom door, she heard a high-pitched whistle. _That's...not right, is it? It doesn't sound like a practice..._ She looked into the empty classroom, and her eyes widened when she realized what was about to happen.

The classroom's window exploded with a deafening blast. The force of the sudden explosion propelled razor-sharp shards of glass and metal into the classroom, and through the open door. The shards struck Rinoa an instant before the shockwave did, and she was thrust toward the opposite wall of the hallway. She screamed in pain as the pieces of shrapnel either embedded themselves inside her body, or flew right through her. When she struck the wall, her vision began to fade. Just before she lost consciousness, she heard Quistis scream her name.

"Squall..." said Rinoa, before she went limp.

Quistis turned to Michael. "Get to the bunker! _Now!_" She then ran over to Rinoa and pulled her away from the shrapnel. _My God, they're really attacking us!_ She checked Rinoa over, and could see blood oozing out of countless small wounds. She checked her magic, and realized with a shock that she only had a single Cure spell with her.

"Cure!" she shouted. Small magical tendrils leapt from her body into Rinoa's. Rinoa stirred slightly, but moaned in pain and went limp again.

"Dammit!" Quistis shouted. Without hesitation, she picked up her friend and ran to the stairwell. _Kadowaki should still be in the infirmary,_ thought Quistis, as she started to become soaked with Rinoa's blood. _I have to get there now!_ "Haste!" she shouted. The world around her seemed to slow as the spell doubled her running speed. _Hang on, Rinny. Please hang on!_

*   


On the bridge, one second after the explosion rocked Garden, Squall fell to the floor, clutching his head in pain. "Rinoa!"

Zell quickly took charge. "Nida, tell them they've hit us with live rounds! Cease attack! Cease attack!" Nida frantically relayed Zell's orders to Trabia Garden on the emergency channel as Zell knelt down at Squall's side.

"Squall, you okay?"

Squall was dazed, and only dimly aware of where he was. He looked up at Zell and said, "She's...hurt! I have to get to her!"

"Wait, Squall!" shouted Zell, too late. Squall was already on the lift, on his way down to the third floor.

He rushed down the main stairs to the second floor, where he had felt Rinoa to be during the explosion. He ran around the ringway, and saw shattered glass, soaked with blood, scattered across the floor.

_Oh my God!_ he thought. He then saw the drops of blood leading to the emergency stairway. He broke into a run, desperate to find Rinoa before it was too late.

*   


Quistis arrived at the Infirmary and saw Kadowaki and her medics carrying their emergency kits, getting ready to go find anyone who'd been hurt. When Kadowaki saw the bloody Rinoa in Quistis' arms, she immediately said, "In there!" and pointed to the small room across from her desk.

Quistis rushed Rinoa into the room and lay her on the bed. As she did so, Kadowaki appeared with her kit. Suddenly, Rinoa's eyes opened, and the muscles in her body clenched. Her back arched off the bed, and her teeth ground together. Quistis grabbed her hand, and felt Rinoa's crushing strength as the injured woman squeezed. 

Rinoa's eyes focused on Quistis. Quistis looked into her friend's desperate eyes as she heard Kadowaki say, "Quistis, you have to..."

Suddenly, the Infirmary vanished. As did Rinoa.

*   


Quistis looked down at her hand, but it was empty. Instead, she was surrounded by a strange white fog that clung to her like a spider's web.

"Rinoa!" she shouted. "What...what is this?"

"Quisty," came a voice behind her. Quistis spun around, and saw Rinoa there. She was clothed in a brilliant white robe, and carried a white bundle in her arms. Quistis ran up to her, and saw what it was that she held.

_It's a baby,_ she thought. _Is that...their son?_

"Quisty," said Rinoa again, "I don't have much time. Jett and I have been called. It's too late to stop this now, so I have to ask you to do something very important for me."

"Rinny...what's happening? Where are we?" Quistis tried to touch Rinoa, but her hand passed right through, as if Rinoa were an apparition. Quistis gasped.

"I'm about to die, Quisty. This is the crossroads into the afterlife."

Quistis stared at Rinoa in shock. "No, wait! Please, hang on, Rinny! Doctor Kadowaki's here now, and she can help! Please, don't leave us!"

Rinoa pursed her lips. "I've been lying to you all, Quisty. My powers...weren't sealed up after we beat Ultimecia. I've had them inside me, and I've been hiding them all these years." Rinoa hung her head in shame.

"W-what?" asked Quistis. "You...but...why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want you all to be in danger, in case the world turned against me for who I was. I wanted to know that you could all say you _didn't_ know I was still a Sorceress."

Quistis felt her eyes begin to fill with hot tears. "But...but, Rinny, we're you're friends! We'd do everything we could to protect you!"

"I know," said Rinoa, sadly. "That's why I wouldn't let Squall tell you. I cared about you all too much to put your lives in danger. Only Squall and Edea knew. But now...you have to keep the secret. I must pass my powers on to you."

Quistis stepped back in shock. "Me? But I...I don't know anything about being a Sorceress! What if I...no, I'm sorry, but I can't accept them."

Rinoa shook her head slowly. Her voice began to grow faint as she said, "I can't stop it now. It's a reflex. You're the closest one to me, and they will jump to you whether I want them to or not. I wish I didn't have to pass them on, because I wouldn't willfully curse anyone with them. Especially not you."

Quistis tried again to touch Rinoa, but could only make contact with the thick white fog.

Rinoa continued, "You've been my best friend for so long. I can't leave this world in peace unless I pass my powers on, but I can't stay in this world, because my body's been so badly damaged."

Quistis stared at Rinoa for what felt like an hour, tears pouring down her cheeks. "It's my fault, Rinny. I should have had more curative magic on me."

Rinoa shook her head again. "It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be lying there in the hallway, dying alone."

Quistis collapsed to her knees. Finally, she said, "Okay, I'll accept them. If you have to go, I want you to be able to go in peace."

Rinoa smiled sadly at her friend. "Thank you," she said. "There's one more thing I have to ask, Quisty."

"Anything, Rinny," replied Quistis, fighting to keep her throat from seizing up.

"Please watch over Squall and Lexie. Lexie will need guidance when I'm gone, and Squall...Squall..." Rinoa's voice became more faint as a white glow from behind her began to envelop her body. "Don't let Squall close himself off. He'll need all of you, but especially you. You've loved him more than you think, and he loves you, more than he'd openly admit. Please, be his strength."

Quistis, still on her knees, looked up at her friend. Rinoa was almost totally gone now, with only her head visible. "I will, Rinny. I promise."

"I'll miss you, Quisty."

"I'll miss you too, Rinny..."

*   


"...get out of the way!" finished Kadowaki.

Quistis suddenly found herself back in the Infirmary, still clutching Rinoa's hand. "Huh...what?"

Suddenly, Rinoa's body began to glow with a bright blue light. Electricity jumped around her body, and shot quickly up her arm, into Quistis. Several spheres of light jumped off Rinoa's torso and embedded themselves in Quistis'. Quistis yelped out in pain, and fell to her knees.

"Someone help her!" shouted Kadowaki. One of her medics rushed in and helped Quistis to her feet, pulling her out of the room. Quistis, her face soaked with Rinoa's blood, and her own sweat and tears, just watched as Kadowaki frantically, and vainly, tried to revive Rinoa. 

Quistis covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed as she saw Kadowaki's repeated attempts fail. Finally, Kadowaki hung her head. She checked her watch, noting Rinoa's time of death.

At that moment, Squall rushed into the Infirmary, having followed the trail of blood to this room. He saw Quistis, covered in blood and crying, and rushed up to her. "Quisty, are you all..." He looked over and saw Rinoa's body, lying on the bed in the small room.

His jaw fell open, and he rushed to Rinoa's side. Kadowaki attempted to pull a white sheet over Rinoa, but Squall grabbed her arm. "No! She's...she's not dead! She can't be!" He put his hands on Rinoa's shoulders, soaking his gloves with blood. "Rinoa? Rinoa, say something! Full-Life!"

White magical energies leapt from Squall's body into Rinoa's, but nothing happened. Squall ripped off his leather gloves and placed one hand on her forehead, taking her hand in his other. "Come on, Rin...Full-Life!" The spell was cast again, but to no avail. _She's so cold... My God, this is my nightmare..._

"No..." he said. He looked up at Kadowaki. "Our...our son...?"

Kadowaki shook her head, placing her hand on Squall's arm. "He was only four months along, Squall. Even if he hadn't been mortally injured, he wouldn't have been able to survive outside her womb."

Squall's head dropped. Tears flowed freely out of his eyes and dripped onto Rinoa's chest. Quistis walked up behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder. She wasn't sure if Squall was ignoring her, or if he didn't notice her, but he simply stood over his wife's body, weeping silently.

Then, he grabbed Rinoa's shoulders again. "Rinoa, come on. Say something to me. _Please._ Anything! I want to hear your voice. Don't leave me again! Please God, please _no_!" He sobbed harder with each word, and eventually fell to his knees. "Rinoa...God, please no. Please God, no. Don't leave me, Rinoa. I can't go on without you. I need you. Lexie needs you. I love you so much. Please!"

Squall buried his face in Rinoa's bloody chest and cried. He no longer cared if anyone saw or heard him. He had lost the one woman that he'd ever truly loved. Between cries, he continued begging her to speak to him. As Quistis watched him, her heart was torn in two.

Kadowaki walked up to Quistis, and put her hand on the Instructors shoulder. Quistis nodded, and Kadowaki left the room. Quistis closed the window blinds, blocking Squall and his beloved from view. Then, she closed the door to the little room and said, "Silence."

Gentle mystical waves flowed off her skin onto the door and walls of the room. The sound of Squall's sobbing and pleading ceased immediately. Quistis hugged herself tightly. As long as she left the spell active, Squall would have total privacy to mourn. _He would want it,_ she thought. 

She started walking toward the Infirmary's exit, when her legs collapsed underneath her. She fell to her hands and knees, but instead of trying to stand up, she stayed down and cried. The floor soon became soaked with her river of tears.

Seconds later, the Infirmary door opened, and several SeeDs entered. They all saw Quistis on the floor and tried to help her, but Kadowaki stopped them. She shook her head, and said, "Are there any more injuries?"

"No," said one of them. "We fortunately only got hit on one of the classrooms by a small sniper missile. Nobody was stationed in that area. The exercise has been stopped."

At that moment, Zell burst into the Infirmary. Seeing Quistis on the floor, he knelt down and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Quisty, are you okay?"

Quistis shook her head. "Rinoa...she...she's..."

She didn't have to finish the sentence. Zell's eyes went wide. "Oh my God," he said. "Where...where is she?"

She pointed to the small room behind her. Zell stood up and reached for the doorknob, but Quistis grabbed his leg. "No," she said, standing up. "Squall's in there. Please...just let him have some privacy."

Zell stared into Quistis' eyes. He had never seen her this distraught, and it shattered his heart to see it now. He staggered over to the bench in the waiting area and collapsed onto it, his face in his hands. He said something into his headphone mic, and then pulled it off his head. The other SeeDs just looked at each other, unsure what they should do next. They finally decided to leave the high-ranking personnel alone to grieve.

Moments later, Seifer ran in. When he saw Quistis, covered in blood and clutching her chest, he ran up to her and shouted, "Cura!"

The spell surrounded Quistis, but had no effect. Quistis shook her head. "No, Seifer, I'm not hurt. It's...it's..."

Seifer grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace. "What?" he said. "Did someone else get hurt?"

Quistis nodded, her face buried in the crook of Seifer's neck. "Rinoa...she's...she's...gone." She wrapped her arms around Seifer and held tightly. 

Seifer was dumbstruck. _Rinoa's...gone? No, can't be._ He looked to Kadowaki, who simply nodded grimly. _Oh, no. Squall, Lexie...what'll they do? Rinoa, I'm...I'm so sorry...I did those things to you. I'm sorry I...betrayed you..._ He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. The guilt of his actions, years ago, rushed to the surface again.

The room seemed locked in time, everyone afraid to move. After what felt like hours, the door to the small room opened. Squall stood there for a second, looking directly forward. Everyone looked at him, both sympathetic and worried for their friend. 

Squall's expression was neither one of despair nor of shock. It was simply...detached from existence. He walked around Quistis and Seifer, past Zell, toward the Infirmary's exit.

"Squall..." said Zell.

Squall ignored him, not missing a beat. He left the Infirmary and headed toward the elevator. The elevator arrived with the normal "ping", and he stepped inside. After he pressed the button for the second floor, he nearly collapsed into the wall. Leaning on it for support, he stared blankly into his own reflection in the metallic bulkhead. He then shut his eyes and stood up straight, waiting to reach his destination.

When he arrived at the second floor, he walked calmly toward his and Rinoa's apartment. Once inside, he closed and locked the door. He sauntered, like a zombie, toward the vanity mirror in the living room and studied his reflection.

His eyes were red any puffy from crying, and his face, hands, and fur-collared jacket were stained red with the blood of his wife. His hair clung to his face, having absorbed his sweat and tears.

Squall looked at the wall beside the mirror, and saw his gunblade case. Slowly, he ran his hand along the right side of the case. When his fingers reached the combination lock, he slowly punched in the 12-digit code.

The lid clicked as the lock was released. He pulled the lid open, revealing his shimmering-white Lionheart gunblade. He grabbed the hilt and gently lifted the weapon off its hangers. When the sword was free, he examined its flawlessly polished surface with glassy eyes. Then, he closed those eyes, turned the gunblade on himself, and stuck the point into his chest, directly over his heart.

He tensed his grip on the blade, and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. _I can't live without you, my angel,_ he thought. _ I'm coming to be with you._

*   


Seifer and Quistis were now sitting on the bench next to Zell, their silence the only testament they could give to their lost friend. As Seifer sat and thought, a disturbing possibility sprang into his mind.

"Squall...he wouldn't do anything...anything...crazy, would he?" he asked.

Quistis looked at him, her eyes tired and burning. "I don't...he...I don't know." Then, when she realized what Seifer meant, she said, "No...he wouldn't, would he?"

The two of them suddenly sprang up off the bench and broke into a run out of the Infirmary, leaving Zell to watch them with surprise. He started to get up and follow, but the sudden sight of a filled body bag being removed from Rinoa's small room paralyzed him. He stood there and stared, unable to move a muscle. 

*   


Seifer and Quistis bounded up the main stairwell to the second floor. When they made it there, they skidded across the floor, rushing toward Squall's apartment. Once there, they found the door closed and locked.

"Squall?" said Quistis.

"Squall, we know you're in there! Don't do anything rash, okay?" Seifer pounded on the door.

Inside the room, Squall prepared to drive his blade through his heart, sending him to meet his wife in the Great Beyond. He opened his eyes once more, and noticed a picture on the vanity. It was Squall and Rinoa, holding baby Alexa in their arms.

"Lexie," he muttered. He gasped, realizing what he had almost done.

_No, I can't do this,_ he thought. _I'm all Lexie has now, and she's all_ I _have. I won't orphan her like my father did me._ He released his grip in the gunblade, and it clattered to the floor. Squall then staggered backward and fell, slumped over, onto the sofa.

Seifer and Quistis, hearing the metallic clang, feared the worst. "Move," said Seifer. Quistis stepped away from the door, and Seifer powerfully kicked it in, tearing the automatic deadbolt out of the wall. They rushed into the room, seeing Squall slumped on the sofa, covered in blood.

"Squall!" they shouted in unison, and ran to him. They then saw the gunblade on the floor, with no blood on the blade. "He didn't do it," said Quistis. _Thank God._

Quistis kneeled down and tried to look into Squall's eyes. "Squall? Squall, please, say something."

"Where's Lexie?" he finally asked, his voice devoid of emotion.

"She should be in the bunker with the rest of the preschool children," said Quistis.

Squall stood up suddenly, nearly hitting Quistis' head with his knee. She stood up, and both she and Seifer watched as Squall walked calmly out of the apartment.

"He needs us," said Quistis. Seifer nodded, and the couple followed Squall to his next destination.

*   


Squall banged his fist on the bunker door. He heard several door bolds being slid aside, and the door swung open. Squall entered the bunker, to the surprise of everyone inside. He didn't realize they were shocked to see him covered in blood, but he didn't care, either.

"Lexie!" he called, just as Quistis and Seifer arrived.

"Daddy!" cried Alexa, her voice filled with fear. Squall followed the sound of her voice, and located her about halfway down the center aisle. He knelt down and undid her protective restraints. The Almasies followed him.

"Daddy, what's wrong with Mommy?" Alexa asked. He could tell that she had been crying. _She knows,_ he thought. _She felt Rinoa die, too._

"Mommy...Mommy's...gone to Heaven," he said, his words choked off by the lump growing in his throat. He pulled her into a tight hug.

"Mommy's...gone?"

Squall nodded. "She got hurt in an accident." _How do I explain this to her? She's still to young to be able to grasp this._

"Will she ever come back?" asked Alexa, nearly crying again.

A sob escaped Squall's lips, and it was enough to start Alexa crying. Seifer placed his hands around Quistis' waist, and she fought hard to keep from crying again. 

Squall stood and carried the child toward the bunker's exit. Before leaving, he said to the guard, "Give them the all-clear, but tell them to stay off the second floor. There will be a criminal investigation going on there very soon."

The SeeD said, "Yes, sir." 

Squall then started up the stairs, carrying his weeping daughter. _How will we go on?_ he asked himself. _How will we live without her?_

  
  
  



	13. Chapter 12: Pain Of Failure

Disclaimer: Once again, Final Fantasy and everything related belongs to Squaresoft.

  
  
  


Chapter 12: Pain Of Failure  
Setting: Balamb Garden, Squall's Office  
That Evening

  
  


Squall sat on his sofa, having changed out of his blood-soaked clothes into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Alexa lay at his side, having long ago cried herself to sleep. Squall had his arm around her, and his other massaged the bridge of his nose, over his scar. He felt so empty at this moment, and unbelievably frightened. He knew he and Alexa would go on without Rinoa, but he doubted his strength of will, and feared he would break down. _That's something I can't do,_ he thought. _I have to show everyone I'm strong. They need me to be._

There was a gentle rapping at the door, and the door creaked open. Maintenance was still busy repairing the damaged classroom, and hadn't had time to repair the door latch, which Seifer had destroyed earlier that day. Sighing, Squall got up, gently moving Alexa so that she was lying on the couch cushions. He walked quietly to the door and opened it. Zell stood on the other side, still in the uniform he'd worn earlier that day.

"Hey, Squall, got a minute?" he asked.

"No," said Squall, starting to close the door.

"Wait," said Zell, holding up a packet of papers. "I have the report on what happened today, if you want to see it. I thought...it might help."

Squall closed his eyes, and walked out of the apartment. Zell handed him the report, and he scanned it over.

"Looks like the students responsible for loading Trabia's missile bay number 3 didn't check to make sure all the live missiles were offloaded." Zell crossed his arms thoughtfully.

Squall looked up at Zell coldly and scowled. "I can read."

"Sorry," said Zell, looking down. 

Squall continued studying the report. Without looking up, he said, "I want those two restricted to their quarters until 10:00 tomorrow morning. Then I want them in my office, where I will take care of them personally." Squall looked back up at Zell. "Before that, at 9:30, I want Instructor Laceel Markson in my office, where she will tell me why she lost a student during what she thought was a real attack."

Zell could feel how cold, yet also very calm, Squall's voice was. It frightened the martial artist. "Uh, Squall...you said tomorrow?" Zell scratched the back of his neck. "You shouldn't...I mean...don't you want to take some time off to...you know...grieve? And be with your daughter?"

Squall repeated, emphasizing each word, "I will meet with Instructor Markson at 9:30 tomorrow, and the two soon to be former students that didn't do their jobs, at 10:00. What part of that do you not understand?"

Zell put up his hands defensively. "O-okay, I'll make it happen," his voice trembled. Until that moment, he had never actually feared Squall, no matter how threatening the Commander could be. Now, Zell was terrified of the man.

Squall spun around to go back into his apartment. Zell touched his arm and said, "Squall, look, I...I just want to say...how sorry I am. We all loved her a lot. And we're all here for you. You know that, right?"

Squall said nothing as he stepped inside the apartment and closed the door. Zell heard something being slid against the door, obviously barring it shut. He stood there for a minute, wanting to try to get Squall to speak to him, but unable to think of anything else to say. Finally, he turned and skulked away.

When Squall was satisfied that the door was securely blocked with the dresser, he looked down at the report again. His hand shook and his teeth ground together. He drew his arm back, preparing to launch the paper packet across the room. Instead, he exhaled and dropped the report onto an end table. _I'll deal with them tomorrow,_ he thought. _And when I do, those three sorry excuses for SeeDs will be begging me to let them resign._

He sat down on the sofa next to Alexa. She moaned in her sleep and cuddled up to her father. Squall felt some of his tension release when he watched the beautiful three-year-old sleeping so soundly. He grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the sofa and covered both of them with it.

Squall suddenly felt his energy ebb. He didn't look forward to what he had to do tomorrow. He wished he could simply detach himself from everything, but he needed to keep busy, so he wouldn't end up thinking. Thinking was the one thing he didn't want to do. He actually wished he could just take Alexa far away from Garden, but that, sadly, wasn't in the cards either.

_I have to arrange Rin's funeral tomorrow,_ he remembered. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting fresh tears drip down his cheeks. He again looked down at his daughter, crying not only for himself, but also for her. She would grow up, eventually forgetting what a wonderful person her mother was.

_It's just you and me now, Lexie,_ he thought. _I promise you, no matter what happens, that we'll make it through this._

*   


Quistis sat in her easy chair, her arms wrapped around herself. She rocked gently, trying to calm the thousand thoughts running through her mind.

_I'm a Sorceress now. No. Maybe...maybe she was wrong. I don't feel any different. Maybe that whole thing was just a hallucination. The shock of losing my best friend. _

_No, I was hit with those waves of blue magic. But...maybe she had a seizure that triggered some of the magic she had with her. Or maybe she touched the defibrillator and it gave us both a shock?_

As much as she tried to rationalize or explain the experience, she couldn't help but return to its face value. Rinoa had pulled her into some kind of dream state, confessed to her that she was a Sorceress, and then passed her powers onto Quistis. Although that was a difficult set of events to grasp, many of the things she'd seen in the past five years were about as strange.

She had another worry that plagued her. She slowly rubbed her abdomen with her hand, no more able to relish in how soothing that sensation usually was.

_What about my child? What will happen to him or her? If my baby's a girl, will she also become a Sorceress? If he's a boy...will he become a...a...Sorcerer? My God, I don't know what to do. I'm so scared._ Tears started running down her cheeks. _Please watch over my baby, Rinny. And please...tell me what I should do._

Just then, the door quietly opened. She looked over, and saw Seifer carrying a tray of food from the cafeteria. "Hey, Quisty. I brought you something to eat. I thought it might help you...well..." He couldn't find the right words. _What do you say to someone that just watched her best friend die?_

"Thanks, Seifer," said Quistis, sadly. Seifer placed the tray on Quistis' end table and pulled her into an embrace. "I know I shouldn't be, but I _am_ hungry."

"Well, you're eating for two," said Seifer softly. He kissed her ear, hoping to relieve some of her pain.

Quistis sighed as Seifer released the embrace. She watched as he removed his trench coat and hung it on the wall. _Should I tell him that Rinoa gave me her powers? No...I can't. Even if he hadn't gone through so much pain with Sorceresses, he wouldn't believe me. None of us even knew._ "Seifer, will Squall ever forgive me?"

Seifer turned to her and lowered his head. "I don't think he blames you. He shouldn't."

"I was there when Rinoa was hit with the blast. I carried her from there to the Infirmary, and she died practically in my arms. Who else should he blame?" Quistis fingered a sandwich on the tray, not wanting to eat, even though her stomach was rumbling.

Seifer knelt down in front of her. "Honey, he should blame the people that shot the missile at us. You were there for Rinoa when she needed you. You held her in her...her last minutes." Seifer swallowed, trying to force down the lump in his throat.

"I didn't have any curative magic on me!" said Quistis, her voice rising in volume. "One lousy Cure! I'm trying to teach Magic to a bunch of SeeD candidates, but I can't even keep a few Life spells on me! Squall had _Full-Life_ on _him_! He used them on Rinoa after she was already dead! If I'd had some and used them in time, she'd still be...still be...Seifer, it's my fault!" She was now screaming, with tears pouring onto her blouse.

Seifer pulled her into another hug. Quistis gripped him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. She cried openly, her sounds of desperate grief muffled by Seifer's muscular chest. Seifer rubbed her head, fighting his own tears. He was surprised at how physically strong his wife seemed to be. _She's...squeezing me kind of tight. I didn't know she was this strong._

"Why, Seifer, why? She never hurt anybody! Why was she punished like that?" Quistis could no longer contain herself, and began blurting out all her thoughts and fears at once. "She was so gentle! She loved Squall and Lexie so much! She loved _everybody_! I'm not worthy of her trust! I'm so scared...what's gonna happen to me?"

Seifer listened to Quistis' outburst, unsure what to make of it. "Shh, shh," he said, "everything will be okay. I promise. I'll protect you. Nobody will hurt you."

Quistis held on for dear life, afraid of what would happen if he ever let go. _I can't tell him. No...I have to. No, I can't! I can't put him through all that again, even if it's me he'd be protecting!_

Quistis sighed, letting a few more sobs escape from her throat. Slowly, she released her husband and fell back into her chair. She rubbed her red eyes and sighed, releasing a few more soft sobs. Seifer could only watch her with a dull ache in his heart.

Quistis looked at the tray of food, grimacing. "I'm not hungry," she said quietly.

Seifer nodded. "I'll put them in the fridge for later." He picked up the tray and carried it into the kitchen.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," called Seifer from the kitchen.

"No, it's okay," said Quistis. She pushed herself up out of the chair and walked, unenthusiastically, toward the door. When she opened it, she was quickly attacked by Selphie, who launched herself onto Quistis and hugged her tightly.

"Oh, Quisty! This is so...terrible!" said Selphie.

Quistis patted the smaller woman on her back, the smile she was trying to force to the surface not quite making it. "Yeah, yeah it is. Hi, Irvine." Irvine, his eyes vacant of their normal mirth, simply nodded and tipped his hat.

"Come on in, guys," said Quistis. Selphie let her go, and they all went into the living room. Quistis sat back down in her chair, and Selphie sat down on the sofa. Irvine, looking very distressed, just stood by the front door.

"Quisty, I'm so, so sorry!" Selphie lunged toward Quistis and hugged her again, tears dripping down onto the blonde Instructor's shoulder. Quistis, now trying to hold her strength for her friend's benefit, stroked her brown hair.

"Selphie, it's not your fault."

"It was our Garden that...that...killed...her!" Selphie released the cries of agony she'd been holding inside since she'd heard the news.

"It...wasn't your fault. Someone in your Garden is to blame, but it's not you. You two were leading the invasion force, weren't you?" Quistis voice trembled slightly, but her newfound resolve held.

"Yeah..." said Selphie. For the first time since Quistis had known her, Selphie was both speechless and cheerless. She released Quistis and sat back on the sofa. When she did, she saw Seifer standing in the kitchen doorway. "Hey, Seif," she said.

_I hate when she calls me that_, thought Seifer. "Hey Selphie, Irvine. How are you two doing?"

Quistis looked up at Seifer. _Stupid question._

Seifer, seeing the look on Quistis' face, just turned away. However, Irvine spoke up for the first time this evening. "Not good. But we're more worried about you guys. You were a lot closer to her than we were."

Seifer stood still for a second, but couldn't find anything meaningful to say. He just nodded.

Then, there was another knock at the door. This one sounded like it was made with a metal hammer. "Sounds like Zell," said Irvine. He opened the door, and said, "Hey, man."

Zell nodded at the cowboy and walked in. "Hey, Irv. Sefie. Good to see ya both." His arms, usually tensed and ready to be deployed at a second's notice, hung limply at his sides.

"Hey, Zell," said Selphie, sniffling. "How've ya been?"

Zell shook his head. "I just went to see Squall. I gave him the report from the...uh...accident. Ya know, Squall may have had kind of a cold personality, but tonight, I was actually scared of him. I thought he'd attack me or something."

"This has hit him so hard," said Quistis quietly, for fear of losing the battle with her emotions. "He loved her so much. She was everything to him."

"Maybe...maybe we should all try to cheer him up, huh?" said Selphie.

"No," said Seifer, cutting in. "This isn't like he just lost an acquaintance or something. He lost a big piece of himself. When they were together, they were like one person. Now that she's gone, he's just empty. There's no way we can fill that." Seifer crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. His eyes gazed off into space. 

"Well, we gotta try, don't we?" asked Selphie. "If not for him, then at least for Lexie! I mean, we're all like aunts and uncles to her."

"We need to try, for both of them," said Quistis, nodding.

*   


"Rinoa!"

Squall ran through the halls of Garden, following the drops of blood. But this wasn't Garden. Every intersection had three branches, three choices of direction. Worse, the trail of blood always seemed to head in all directions at the same time. Someone was trying to keep him from her.

_They won't stop me! I have to find her!_

"Squall, help me," came Rinoa's faint voice.

Squall kept running, his legs growing heavier by the second. After nearly an hour, he reached a dead end. No door, only solid wall. He turned around to backtrack, but it had also been closed off. He was trapped in a sealed, doorless chamber.

"No!" he shouted, slamming his fists into one of the walls. The wall fell down, revealing the forward window of Balamb Garden's bridge. The controls seemed to move by themselves, and Squall eyed them curiously. Suddenly, he saw their heading; they were flying directly at Trabia Garden.

"What? Where did they come from?" he shouted, grabbing the controls. They responded very sluggishly, but he threw all his weight into moving the steering vane. Suddenly, it snapped off and crumbled in his hands. As he looked down in disbelief, a different control panel rose up from the floor. He recognized it as the original, rusted control panel that had been removed when Garden was renovated several years ago.

He looked back up, and saw that they were mere seconds away from ramming headlong into the other Garden. Squall frantically manipulated the controls, but found that none of them responded to his actions. He looked up one more time, just as T-Garden rammed into them.

Squall heard the cries of a hundred people dying as he was thrown off the bridge. He fell backward toward the metal floor, but couldn't scream; his voice was gone. When he finally struck the floor, he didn't feel the crushing pain of bone against metal, but the soft cushioning of a bed. 

He sat up, and saw he was in the Infirmary, in the small room that he had grown to hate. He jumped off the bed and examined it, finding dozens of small bloodstains on it.

He checked himself, and found that he was bleeding from as many small wounds. He felt no pain, but his blood poured out, soaked his clothes, and coated the floor in a grisly mess.

"Squall," came a voice behind him. He spun around and saw Quistis, looking at him with narrow, accusing eyes. She lashed out, backhanding him across the face. Squall was spun around by the ferocious blow, and he landed on top of the bed's new occupant. Squall gasped when he saw Rinoa lying motionless, coated with blood.

It was then he noticed that he was no longer inured or spurting blood. Instead, he had a gaping black hole where his chest should have been. He stuck a hand into it, and pulled out a bouquet of dead, moldy roses. Unsure what to do with them, he placed them on Rinoa's chest.

Suddenly, her eyes shot open, focusing on Squall. Squall tried to jump back, but realized he had been struck with Petrify. Rinoa leaned up, licking her lips. Under her rough, dried tongue's touch, her lips flayed off and began to leak blood into her mouth and down her chin.

Squall felt the Petrify spell wear off as Rinoa grabbed him by the head, and pressed her bloody lips to his. He felt the bitter, salty taste of her cold blood in his mouth, but was too frightened to move. When Rinoa released the kiss, she stared at him with sad eyes. Then, she smiled, her cheeks cracking open, and said, "Take her, Squall. She's me, now."

She forcefully turned him around, showing him Quistis standing behind him. The blonde Instructor was giving him a very seductive look; one he had never seen in her eyes before. Rinoa then powerfully shoved him from behind, and he fell into Quistis' waiting arms. She pressed her mouth to his, and stuck her tongue deep into his mouth. Squall tried to push himself away, but Quistis was far too strong for him. He felt her tongue caress his, and then move further into his mouth and down his throat, blocking his windpipe. 

He struggled as best he could, but couldn't free himself from the blonde woman's grip. _Help me!_ his mind cried. _I can't breathe! Rinoa!_

"Daddy!"

_What? Where...?_

"Mommy! Help me!"

The voice came from inside Quistis' body. Squall tried again to press himself away, but her sharp nails dug into his back, easily piercing his skin. Squall lungs were screaming for air as she continued to suffocate him.

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Squall gasped and sat straight up on the couch. His breath came in short bursts as he looked around the room.

_Mommy! Daddy!_

_Lexie!_ thought Squall. He looked down beside him, and saw the toddler lying still, deep in slumber. He placed two fingers at the side of her neck. _She's warm. She's got a pulse._ He sighed, and tried to remember why he was in the living room.

_Daddy! Where's Mommy?_

He looked back down at Alexa with surprise. _I...I can hear her in my head! How?_

_Mommy! Please come back!_

She sounded so unbelievably desperate to have her mother back. _That makes two of us, _thought Squall. _Rin, I'm so sorry. I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to be your knight._ He forced his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. _Now you're gone, and we'll never get you back. I'll never see your face again, I'll never hear your voice..._

He covered his face with one hand and wept silently for several minutes.

"Daddy?"

Squall looked down at Alexa, whom he hadn't noticed waking up. "Y-yeah?"

"Daddy, are you crying?" Alexa's eyes, so innocent yet so wise, brought warmth to Squall's heart. That warmth, however, only opened the floodgates of his emotions, and he began to sob harder.

"Yeah," he said.

Upon hearing this, Alexa climbed onto her father's lap, and hugged his neck tightly. Squall likewise wrapped his arms around her. "Everything will be okay, Daddy," said Alexa, suddenly much older than she had been hours before. "We'll be okay."

Squall couldn't help but smile. He smiled so widely that his lips parted, allowing his tears to run into his mouth. But he didn't care. "I know, Sweetie, I know." His bawling subsided slightly.

"I miss Mommy," said Alexa, sniffling.

"Yeah, me too," said Squall.

*   


Squall sat in his office the next morning at 9:25, his chair turned away from the door. He had music playing over his stereo, and he simply sat there, his eyes shut, allowing the angelic tones to penetrate his soul.

He then heard his door open. "Squall?" came a voice.

"What is it, Zell?" replied Squall.

"Instructor, uh, Markson is here, like you wanted. The two students from Trabia should be here in the next twenty minutes." Zell approached the desk slowly, hoping to avoid the Commander's wrath.

"Send her in, in a few minutes," replied Squall. Zell waited for further explanation, but received none.

"Ok," said Zell. He stood there for a few seconds, listening to the music. _That voice sounds so familiar_, he thought. Then, it clicked. "That's...'Eyes On Me', right?"

No response.

Zell persisted, hoping some small talk would open Squall up, if only a little. "That Julia Caraway sure had a beautiful voice, didn't she?"

Zell wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a sigh from Squall. "Yeah, she did. But she didn't sound as good as this."

"She...huh?" Zell scratched his head, and then his jaw dropped open. "This is...Rinoa?"

"She made it for me on our first anniversary," said Squall.

"Man she had a great..." Zell started, but then realized what he was saying, and shut his mouth.

"Yeah, she did," said Squall. Zell saw a gloved hand point a remote control at the stereo, and the device immediately shut off. Squall turned his chair around, and Zell nearly jumped when he saw the Commander's face. His eyes were bloodshot and barely open. His mouth was drawn into a hard frown, and his jaw was set. He also was wearing his SeeD uniform, which was something Squall almost never did.

Squall observed his friend looking him over. _Don't you have something better to do?_ he thought. "Send Instructor Markson in," he finally said. Zell nodded and hastily made an exit.

Squall crossed his hands on his desk as he waited for the Instructor to enter. When she finally did, he absorbed the image of the woman. She was about Selphie's size, with red hair drawn into a bun at the back of her head. She marched with an uncertain stride toward Squall's desk. When she reached it, she stopped and saluted. Squall stood and returned the salute, and then said, "Sit." 

Markson complied, her hands and knees shaking. She obviously knew she was in trouble. _She has no idea_, Squall thought.

"I'm going to cut right to the chase, Instructor. During the military exercise yesterday, which, at the time, you thought was a real attack, correct...?" He did not wait for an answer. "...you managed to lose track of one of your students, and caused the death of Instructor Rinoa Leonhart."

Markson's mouth fell open. "S-sir...I...I..."

Squall interrupted, "She went looking for your student, and thus, was killed during an accident which should have harmed no one, as _no one_ was supposed to be in that section of Garden during _any_ attack." His voice grew louder with each word.

Markson could not reply. She simply sat there and took the verbal punishment, trying desperately to not break into tears in front of her Commander. It was all she could do to keep from running away from the intense, bloodshot stare of Squall Leonhart.

Squall, seeing her on the verge of breakdown, decided to press harder. "What the hell makes you think you deserve to be an Instructor? If I had my way, I'd drum you out of Garden right now! But," he hesitated, taking a deep breath, "I can't do that." His voice grew quieter, yet much more terrifying to the woman. "I don't have the authority. But you can rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure you never..."

The door opened at the back of the office, and Squall suddenly stopped his diatribe. Cid entered, looking very disapprovingly at Squall. _Dammit, I wanted to get this all done before he got back from Centra._

"Squall, maybe you'd better let me handle this," said Cid, evenly.

"Sir, with all due respect, it's my duty..."

"Squall, I think it best if you let me handle the investigation into the...incident." Cid spoke matter-of-factly, telling Squall that it was not a request, it was an _order_.

"Yes, sir," sighed Squall. He focused his attention back on Markson. "You're dismissed."

Markson pushed herself out of the chair, barely able to stand. She walked as fast as she could toward the door, praying Squall didn't pull a gun and shoot her in the back. Just before she reached the door, Cid said quietly to her, "Instructor, please wait outside. We'll talk in a few minutes."

Markson nodded, then burst into tears as she ran out of the office. Cid closed his eyes, and then the office door. He walked quietly over to Squall, who was fuming over Cid's rescinding of this duty.

"Squall," said Cid, "When I heard about what happened, I came back as soon as I could. I want you to know how sorry I am..."

"Yeah, everyone's sorry," interrupted Squall sarcastically. "Doesn't bring Rinoa back, does it?"

Cid gave a fatherly sigh. "No, Squall, it doesn't. Neither does verbally abusing an Instructor who clearly wasn't at fault."

"Sir!" spat Squall, standing up. "She lost one of her students during an attack! _Lost one of her students!_ If that's not the sign of an incompetent Instructor..."

"It's not," said Cid. Squall, realizing he'd chosen a losing battle, sat down slowly. Cid likewise sat down in the chair occupied moments before by Markson. "Squall, I have nothing but sympathy for you and your daughter. Rinoa was very dear to me, as she was to many people here. But I can _not_ allow you to handle the investigation into this. Your treatment of Markson shows how much you've lost your ability to think rationally."

Squall's eyes lit up. _You're calling me irrational? Why you cowardly..._

Cid shook his head. "I will personally handle the investigation, and ensure that those guilty are appropriately punished. You will take time off from your duties to spend with your daughter and your friends, and try to mend your heart." He leaned forward. "Squall, I don't want to see you in this office for at least the next two weeks. You need time to recover, and I know you always neglect yourself over others. That's a noble quality in you, but you often forget that you need to take care of your own needs as well as others'. Oh, and I'll take care of the...funeral arrangements as well."

Squall shuddered with the reminder that Rinoa's funeral would be very soon. He suddenly felt tired. _I don't want to have this conversation anymore._ "Fine, I'll take two weeks off."

Cid gave a small smile. "Good. There's one more thing I want you to know. Edea wanted very much to come see you, and she's going to do her best to be here before the...funeral, but with the rebuilding of the orphanage and the new children she's looking after..."

Squall nodded understandingly, not entirely listening to Cid drone on about the new orphanage. _I'd rather she not come at all, though. If I can't work, then I want to spend this time alone with Lexie. All Matron will remind me of is my pain._

"Oh, and I guess there's one more thing after that," Cid continued, snapping Squall out of his train of thought. "Anywhere you want to go, anyone you want to see, Garden will take you there, no questions asked. I'm sure your father and Ellone will both be here for the funeral, but in case you need to get away for a while..." He left it at that.

Squall nodded and stood up. "Thank...thank you, sir." He disguised the anger behind his words.

Cid stood and put his hand on Squall's shoulder. "I'll make sure Instructor Markson knows how much stress you're under, and that you apologize."

_I don't apologize_, Squall thought bitterly. _It's her fault Rinoa was out there to begin with. But all arguing will get me now is a longer suspension._ "Fine," he said simply.

Cid nodded at Squall, and walked out of the office. Squall fell into his chair and rubbed his temples. Then, he keyed the intercom and said, "Deputy Commander Dincht to the Commander's office, please. Zell to the Commander's office."

Not more than one second later, Zell popped his head in. "You called?"

Squall stood from his chair and approached Zell. Zell moved the rest of his body into the room and waited for Squall to meet him. He tensed up unconsciously, still afraid of what the overstressed Squall may do.

"I've been ordered to take the next two weeks off," said Squall. "You will be Commander full-time for those two weeks. Can you handle it?"

Zell nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, sure, you bet! You should take some time and be with Lexie."

Squall waved him off. "Whatever." He started to walk out of the office.

"Hey, listen for a minute, okay?" Zell expected Squall to keep on walking, but to his surprise, the Commander stopped and cocked his head, waiting for Zell's follow-up. "Uh, you know that we're all here for ya, right? I mean, we all really care for you, and we like how you've gotten more open with us over the past few years. We just don't wanna see you go into hiding again."

Squall shook his head. "You have no idea what I'm going through. And I don't care to tell you." He continued walking out of the office, toward the elevator.

Zell sighed, and headed toward Squall's desk. When he reached it, he noticed a picture lying face down on the desk. He picked it up, and saw that it was Squall, Rinoa, and Alexa at Quistis and Seifer's wedding a year ago. And on the glass, he saw a small, nearly dried wet spot. He knew instantly why Squall was blowing off their attempts to help. _He doesn't know how to deal with the pain, and it's scaring him. That's why he's closing himself off again._

Zell turned and walked back to the waiting room, just in time to see the elevator door open for Squall. Inside the elevator was Xu Ling, Trabia Garden Headmaster.

"Squall, hi," said Xu.

Squall nodded curtly. "Headmaster." She stepped out of the elevator, and Squall edged past her to get inside.

"Squall, I'm so sorry. This was a terrible..." Xu was cut off as the elevator doors closed, the lift taking Squall with it as it left the third floor. Xu put her hand over her mouth and shut her eyes.

"Xu?" said Zell, walking over to the uniformed woman. She turned to him with surprise, and then gave a forced smile. "Hey, Zell," she said.

"I know what you're thinking, and it's not your fault," Zell said, placing his hand on her arm.

Xu sighed. "I'm responsible for everything that happens in my Garden. So I'm responsible for this."

Zell, looked down at the floor, not able to watch the pain in the older woman's eyes. He tried to distract himself by admiring how flawlessly Xu's boots were polished.

Xu placed a sympathetic hand on Zell's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Zell. I really am. I know how close you all were."

Zell placed his hand on hers, and looked up into her eyes. Then, without another word, he hugged her. Xu closed her eyes and returned the hug. They had both lost a friend in Rinoa, and at this moment, they were the only ones that could comfort each other.

*   


Squall knocked on Quistis and Sefier's door. A moment later, it opened, revealing a T-shirt-and-jeans-clad Quistis. Her hair had not been done; she had it pulled back in a basic golden ponytail. When she saw Squall, her eyes lit up a little.

"Hey, Squall," she said, opening the door wide. "Come on in."

Squall shook his head. "I'm just here to take Lexie back home. Thanks for watching her for me." He gazed past Quistis into the apartment, looking for his daughter.

Quistis gave a small smile, but it faded away instantly. "No problem. You know, you only live a couple doors down. Why don't you stay for a little while. Seifer and I would love to..."

"Lexie," called Squall, "come on, it's time to go home!" He did not look at Quistis' face, but he swore he could see her hurt expression in the corner of his eye. _She doesn't know what hurt really is_, he thought. _If she's lucky, she'll never know._

Alexa appeared from behind a piece of furniture. "There you are!" came Seifer's voice, as he pretended to run toward the child. Alexa squealed playfully as she tried to escape him. 

"C'mon, Lexie, time to go," said Squall.

"How did your 'meetings' go? They got out a little early," observed Quistis. Squall finally looked at her, noticing her melancholy expression.

Squall shrugged. "I'm on mandatory leave from Command duties for two weeks. Apparently my idea of punishment for the guilty parties was a bit too harsh for Cid's tastes."

Quistis bit her lip. She had a feeling she knew just how harsh Squall had been to them, and she pitied them. _No, wait, they_ were _responsible for Rinoa's death! Maybe Cid should have let Squall take care of it._

_On second thought, no_, she argued, _I bet Squall would have killed the Trabia missile crew._

Alexa finally ran up to Squall and hugged his leg, having ended her game with Seifer.

"See you later, Quistis," said Squall, leading Alexa toward their apartment.

"Bye Aunt Quisty and Uncle Seifer!"

Quistis smiled at the girl and waved. She closed the door, and just stood there, staring at it. 

When Seifer noticed she hadn't moved, he walked up to her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and said, "He needs time, Quisty. He just lost his wife yesterday. I'm sure he'll get better as time goes by."

"I know," said Quistis. "But he's just...acting so aloof. I mean, I know he's in mourning, and the way he is, he likes to handle that kind of thing himself. But a part of me feels like he's going to retreat into his emotional shell, and never come out again."

Seifer sighed. "Quisty, his wife died yesterday. Violently, I might add. Do you think he's just going to come spend time with us all? Come on!" 

Quistis turned around and stared at Seifer, surprised by his rising voice. Seifer continued, "You all seem to hinge on getting Squall's approval for everything, and your lives seem all wrapped up in getting him to be friends with you. He's doing the best he can! He now has a child to raise on his own. Don't you realize how scared he probably is? Do you even remember why it was that he shut everyone out for so long? He couldn't take being hurt! Now he's lost the most important person in his life, and you're all so worried about how friendly he's acting toward you? What the hell?" Seifer turned away in disgust, crossing his arms and walking toward the kitchen.

Quistis was utterly shocked at Seifer's outburst. It felt like he had plunged his gunblade into her heart and twisted it for added torture. She clutched her hands over her chest and trembled as tears started filling her eyes. _How can you say all that, Seifer? I know my life doesn't revolve around him! What are you accusing us of? _

"We know he's in pain, Seifer," Quistis said, her voice low. "We're his friends. I know he needs time to himself, but I also know that a person can't deal with some things alone. What would _you_ do if _I_ died, huh? Have you ever thought about that?"

Seifer kept silent. He regretted blowing up at Quistis, but he had been holding in all this pain, trying to stay strong for her. His emotions had just boiled over.

Quistis' lower lip trembled and her brow knitted as she glared at Seifer's back. "He _is_ scared right now, you're right. He's so scared that he doesn't want to take the risk of letting anyone else in. But you and I both know he thought about killing himself yesterday. He wanted to die because he thought he had no one in this world. If he goes on feeling that, he may get so depressed that he _will_ die, even if he doesn't physically do the act! And I don't know about you, but that's not something I want on my conscience. I...we all want for him to be able to move on with his life, and we need to help him now, before he goes so far into himself that he'll never come out again!" 

Her emotions suddenly spent from her tirade, Quistis ran into the bedroom and shut the door, locking it behind her. She threw himself onto the bed and started to cry, not of despair, but of anger at Seifer's seeming lack of care about Squall. _How can he be so callous like that? I love Squall, and I want the best for him! Squall's my husband, after all..._

Her mind came to a screeching halt. _W...what? Wait, did I just say, "Squall's my husband"? That's not... Why did I say that?_ Quistis lay there, suddenly very frightened at the foreign thoughts that had invaded her brain. They seemed somewhat familiar, but were definitely not her own. She rolled onto her side and curled up into a fetal position.

In the kitchen, Seifer rubbed his temples, regretting having been so harsh with his wife. However, he felt he knew Squall better than anyone, and that what Squall needed right now was to handle things himself. _I really wish I hadn't yelled at Quisty, though. She's lost her best friend, and I know she needs me to be strong for her, not busting her chops._ He inhaled, swallowing his pride, and tapped the bedroom door lightly. "Quisty? Look, I'm..."

"Go away, Seifer," came the reply. 

Seifer stood there, not wanting to give up so easily. "But..."

"Seifer, I...I just need to be alone right now."

Seifer stared at the door, imagining he could see her inside, her face in her hands, crying over the loss of her friend, the worry for another friend, and being yelled at by her husband. Sighing, he walked into the living room. _Maybe I should just leave and let her be alone, like she said,_ he thought.

Quistis wanted Seifer there with her, no matter how much he yelled at her. She wanted him to protect her from the million errant thoughts swarming her consciousness. She wanted it so much. But now she was becoming more afraid of herself than she could have imagined. _I can't do this on my own, but I can't ask Seifer to go through being a knight again. Who can I talk to? Who would understand? Squall would, but he won't say more than two words to me._

Then it dawned on her. _Wait...Matron knew Rinoa still had her powers. She probably helped them keep the secret._ She stood up with a newfound strength and sense of purpose. _That's it. I need to go see Matron._

She opened the bedroom door, and headed for the living room. She found Seifer loading his gunblade, obviously preparing to go drown his sorrows in the Training Center. "Seifer, I'm sorry," she said, rather quickly. "You were right, I need to give Squall space. But at the same time..." _how do I say this?_ "I...I think we should see Matron, see if she can think of a way to help Squall." _I wouldn't even believe that lie myself._

"Matron?" said Seifer. He placed the gunblade on the coffee table and leaned on his knees. "Well, I guess it couldn't hurt, although she hasn't been around Squall very much recently."

"We need to get ahold of her," Quistis insisted. "I just need to see her." _She'll be able to help me. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do._

  
  
  



	14. Chapter 13: Life After

Disclaimer: SquareSoft owns all things Final Fantasy. That's how it is.

  
  
  


Chapter 13: Life After…  
Setting: The Flower Field at the Kramer Orphanage  
Two Days Later

  


Squall sat in his seat, Alexa at his side. He was clad in his full dress uniform, complete with medals and citations. He hardly ever wore the full dress uniform, but had remembered how much Rinoa had loved seeing him in it. She'd always asked him to wear it all, just for her. The medals had all been simple trinkets to him, but to Rinoa, they had been symbols of her knight's courage, dedication, and compassion. For her funeral, Squall had decided to honor her by wearing them. Only his black armband disturbed the perfect lines of the well-tailored suit.

He clutched Alexa's hand. The little girl swiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her midnight blue dress, but made no sound. Squall looked down at her, and felt his heart break once again. _I don't know if I can raise you right, without your mother. But I swear I'll try._

He shook his head, trying to deactivate his thinking. He knew that thinking would only cause him to lose his mental strength, and he'd promised Rinoa that he'd be strong for their daughter. He scanned the area, taking in the sights for the first time in months.

While the orphans' home was being rebuilt, Edea had masterfully tended the vast flower garden. It had grown there since Squall and his friends had lived there as children, and held great meaning for them. Rinoa had also fallen in love with the field, and had taken many special trips to Centra just to see it and bask in its delicious fragrance. Squall thought it only fitting that the funeral should be held there. Afterward, she and their unborn son Jett would be laid to rest in the adjoining grassy hill, where they could always be near the flowers. _I can't think of a better resting place for a pair of angels,_ thought Squall.

Now becoming desperate to suppress his thoughts, he turned and glanced over the crowd. It was growing by the minute, but there were so few people that he recognized. Some of them, like him, were sitting in their folding chairs, while others stood and chatted, some about Rinoa, others about their own business. By the time the service would start, he knew there would only be standing room in the back for many of them.

_I wonder how many are here because they knew her, and how many because she's one of the "Heroes of Time Compression". How many of them actually ever saw her in person? How many of them actually belong here?_

Squall and Alexa were sitting in the front row, which only consisted of two chairs on their side of the center aisle, and a third on the opposite side. That chair was vacant; its occupant would either be late, or too busy to come at all. Squall felt his stomach twist as he began to wonder how he would explain to Rinoa's father what happened to her. President Caraway had had virtually no communication with them since their wedding, and they had likewise not made any great attempt to contact him. A small part of Squall wished they had. Squall had learned to tolerate, even love, the father he hadn't known until his late teens. He always felt sorry that Rinoa, who had grown up under her father's care, had so little contact with him. He regretted even more the fact that both had seemed to prefer things that way.

Squall continued scanning the crowd. He then noticed Quistis and Seifer sitting directly behind him, both also wearing their full dress uniforms. Quistis had been looking at him intently. Squall wanted to avoid eye contact with her, but couldn't help locking gazes for a moment. When that happened, they both turned away, Quistis toward her husband, and Squall back out toward the crowd.

_She looks as if she wants to tell me something,_ he thought. _I think I know what it is, but I don't want to hear it right now._

He noticed Selphie and Irvine, both also watching him, sitting a few aisles back. They were the only friends he hadn't spoken to, or even seen in person, since the accident. He felt that they understood, better than anyone else, that he needed his privacy for now. He nodded at them thankfully, and saw as Selphie leaned forward and started crying. Irvine wrapped his arm around her, and looked back at Squall sorrowfully.

_Thanks for coming, guys. And, thanks for letting me have my time to myself._ He gave a depressed smile and nodded again, before looking back out into the crowd in the back. He saw a small commotion as the throng of people was split down the middle. Two men in suits, wearing sunglasses, were spreading the crowd apart. Just behind them, Squall saw the one man he'd truly hoped he wouldn't see.

President Fury Caraway, in his black Galbadian suit, marched toward the front of the makeshift chapel. He caught Squall's eye, and stared menacingly at him as he continued storming down the aisle. Squall stood up at attention, preparing to take whatever verbal blows Caraway would throw at him. He started, "Sir, I…"

Suddenly, his world turned red, and the next thing he felt was the hard ground under his backside and elbows. The young SeeD shook his head, trying to clear his vision. When he could see again, he stared at Caraway, his fists clenched and ready, towering over him. "You son of a bitch!" shouted Caraway through clenched teeth. "You were supposed to watch over her! You were supposed to give her a good life! Now look where she is!"

Caraway's suited guards suddenly grabbed him by the arms and tried to drag him away. Caraway resisted, obviously wanting to pounce on Squall and beat him within an inch of his life. Squall's fighting instinct told him to get up and attack, but his common sense forced him to stay down. Even if the guards didn't arrest him for attacking the president of Galbadia, Squall wouldn't have been able to live with himself for attacking the man. He knew Caraway only decked him because Squall's earlier inaction had cost his only daughter her life. He would have done the same if Alexa had died.

Quistis, Seifer, Zell, Xu, Selphie, Irvine, and Nida all rushed to Squall, shielding him from the enraged politician and former General. Squall would have rather they'd let Caraway beat on him some more, because then he could concentrate on his wounds, instead of the reason why they were all there to begin with.

"Daddy!" shouted Alexa, running up to her father. She clutched him around the neck, also trying to protect him from the grandfather she'd never met.

Once Caraway had regained his composure and marched away, Squall's friends all turned around and offered to help him to his feet. He ignored them all, standing up under his own power.

"Whoa, easy there, man," said Irvine. "He hit you pretty hard, your eye's all puffed up."

Squall did notice the throbbing in his left eye, and the fact that he couldn't open it more than halfway. He ignored their inquiries into his condition, shook his head, and returned to his seat. A look of shame crossed his otherwise deadpan countenance, but he made no effort to vocalize his feelings. He helped Alexa back into her seat, and then leaned over, his elbows resting on his knees. As he looked at the ground, he heard only the blood rushing in his ears, and the disturbed murmurs of the guests as they discussed the incident they'd just witnessed.

After a few minutes, Squall's friends dispersed in pairs, returning to their seats. Eventually, only Quistis and Seifer remained, both watching Squall with concerned eyes. Quistis quietly said, "Cure". Instantly, Squall's swelling subsided, and his pain vanished. Squall gritted his teeth. _I wanted that pain. I deserve it._

"Squall," said Quistis, "he's wrong. It wasn't your fault."

Squall desperately wanted to look up at her. Something in her voice touched his soul, and momentarily broke through the wall of ice he'd wrapped around his heart. Quistis had always been there for him, and besides Rinoa, she'd always been the one that understood him best. Even Seifer, his long-time counterpart, didn't know him nearly as well as Quistis did. Squall knew he needed someone; he had Alexa, but she was still too young to fully understand, or fill, the void in his soul.

Yet, there was something else about Quistis, ever since the accident that had claimed his beloved's life. He couldn't put his finger on it, but whenever he was near her, he felt a great weight being lifted off his chest. Then, however, the guilt of feeling anything other than grief drove him away from Quistis, from all his friends. He knew he deserved punishment for not protecting her. That was why he hadn't tried to defend himself against Caraway's attack. 

Finally, though, he could no longer resist his need for eye contact. Looking up, he found a blue sky dotted with cottony white clouds. He had been so preoccupied with his own emotional pain that he hadn't noticed Quistis and Seifer return to their seats. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, gripping Alexa's hand tightly.

Just then, Cid appeared and, kneeling down in front of him, said, "Squall, are you all right? Looks like he hit you pretty hard."

Squall continued looking up at the sky, his expression unchanged. "I'm fine." 

Just then, Edea knelt down right next to Cid and placed her hand on Squall's arm. That got Squall's attention. He looked into her eyes, and saw they were raw, glassy, and tear-soaked.

"Squall…" she started. She couldn't think of anything to say that would not upset her surrogate son. She just looked into his eyes, communicating with feelings instead of words.

Squall suddenly found himself feeling sympathetic for Edea. He had lost his wife, and she had lost the closest thing she'd ever had to an actual daughter. Although she'd only known Rinoa for a few years, she'd taken the young Sorceress under her wing and helped Squall keep her safe. He could tell that she felt as guilty for Rinoa's death as he did.

He placed his hand on top of hers and nodded. "Thank you."

"We should…talk later, when you can."

Squall nodded again. He then looked to his left as he saw the one sight he truly feared. A mahogany casket was being wheeled to the front of the congregation. He felt Edea withdraw her hand as she and Cid took their seats just behind Squall and Alexa, next to Quistis and Seifer.

His eyes were locked on the shadowy black box; he knew full well what was inside. _The empty shell that once held Rinoa's spirit. It's ironic how you can be making love to a body, and then less than a day later, that body is cold and lifeless. But it was her spirit, her true self, that I loved, not her body. And that spirit is gone._

When the casket reached the front of the center aisle, Squall noticed out of the corner of his eye that President Caraway's seat was still empty. _He didn't come here to say goodbye to her, he came here to punish me for my failure._ Squall's disgust for the man deepened intensely in those few seconds.

He then felt his heart once again tear open as the lid of the cask was removed. He could hear the quiet sobs from various people in the crowd, but the only one that concerned him was the one from the seat next to him. He looked down at Alexa, and said, "Do you want to go say goodbye to Mommy?"

Alexa rubbed her eyes with her left hand, gripping Squall's hand tightly with her right. She nodded, unable to vocalize her agreement. They stood up together, and walked to the casket. Squall gasped when he saw the figure before him.

Rinoa's body had been nearly restored to its lifelike beauty. There were no traces of the shrapnel wounds, and aside from the fact that she laid perfectly still, she looked to be peacefully sleeping. She was clad in a pure white gown, clutching a long stem red rose in her hands, which were crossed over her chest. Instinctively, Squall bent down and kissed her lips. He placed his hand on top of hers, and involuntarily shivered. _She's so cold. Dear God, this is just like my nightmares. I can't believe she's gone for real.Maybe...maybe I'll wake up soon and this will have all been a dream._

Quistis watched Squall, hugging herself to try to stop her trembling. She could plainly see the look of disbelief in Squall's face. For the moment, she forgot where she was, and whom she was with. Her heart silently poured itself out with love and sorrow for Squall. She could not bear to see him in this much pain. Even worse, she still could not get over the feeling that this was all _her fault_. Edea herself had said she wasn't to blame, but the Instructor still couldn't accept it.

Squall looked down at Alexa. She held her arms up, and Squall lifted her off the ground. The little girl looked down at the corpse, but her tears had strangely disappeared.

"Mommy, I can still feel you. You're gone, but not far, I know." She smiled lightly. "I'm glad you'll always be with us. Daddy needs you a lot." She leaned forward, and Squall held her over the body so she could kiss her mother. "I know, but it's still gonna be hard. I'll try. I promise."

Quistis heard the little girl loud and clear, and also heard another, faint voice that seemed to be conversing the child. 

It wasn't Squall's voice, and no one else was up there with them. She looked around, but she couldn't pinpoint the voice's source with her ears. It felt omnipresent, as if the wind itself spoke to the child. Then, as suddenly as the voice had come into being, it ceased. At that moment, Alexa looked up to her father, who set her back down on the ground. She stood there, her hands folded in front of her, waiting for Squall to say his final goodbyes.

Squall reached around the back of his neck, and undid some sort of clasp. He removed a chain from around his neck, the one with the Griever pendant. He laid it on Rinoa's chest, and pressed it into her cold flesh. His hand then went to the now open spot on his chest, and his head bowed in either prayer or grief. When he finally turned around to head back to his seat, his eyes caught Quistis'. They looked at each other for a few seconds, before Squall and Alexa sat down in their seats.

Seifer patted her arm, snapping her out of her trancelike state. Quistis looked at him, and he motioned for her to stand up. Edea and Cid had already stood, and were making their way toward the open casket. She complied, following Seifer's lead. She could not, however, help but watch Squall, who now sat slumped over in his seat.

_Hang in there, Squall,_ she thought. _I'm here for you._

As she walked toward the casket, she became more and more aware of a strange feeling inside herself. She tried to ignore it, but it buzzed inside her head more loudly with each step. She brought her fingers up to her temple, which immediately got Seifer's attention.

"Quisty, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I…just have a headache."

Seifer nodded understandingly. "I'll get you a painkiller from the house."

"Thanks, in a few minutes," replied Quistis. When they reached the casket, Quistis gazed down on her friend's face. _She looks so peaceful_, she thought. Then, before her incredulous eyes, Rinoa's face began to change. Quistis stared down as she saw the corpse's relaxed visage morph into a mirror image of her own. Quistis gasped, clasped her hand over her mouth, and shut her eyes tightly. Unhindered tears started running down her cheeks.

Seifer, assuming she was grieving, clutched Quistis close. He fought hard to keep his own tears from leaving his eyes.

When Quistis opened her eyes again, she saw only Rinoa's face, as before. Yet, she still couldn't shake the feeling that she was looking at her own body in the casket, not that of someone else. 

As Seifer led her back to their seats, Quistis' anxiety began to grow. 

_What's happening to me?_

*   


The rest of the funeral had gone uneventfully. President Caraway had returned, no longer violent, but not acknowledging Squall to any degree. Garden's Chaplain Victor had given a sermon on the tragedy of loss, and that God's will, though seemingly cruel sometimes, had an ultimate purpose for the good of all.

Squall hadn't believed a word of it. He had never considered himself very religious, but he felt even less so now than he ever could have before. _God doesn't bother with us,_ he thought. _If he did, there wouldn't be so much pain in the world, so much loss. And Rinoa would still be here with Lexie and me._

Selphie and Quistis had taken Alexa out into the flower field, showing her the different flowers Edea had planted over the years. They had done so partially to help Alexa get her mind off her mother's death, but more so to give Squall a chance to meet with the other guests without having the child in tow. He had chatted a little with Ellone and Laguna, but he only had a desire to actually speak to one person: the hostess, who'd generously allowed Rinoa's funeral to be held in her own backyard. He fortunately didn't have to look far; she apparently was seeking him out as well.

"Squall, do you have a minute to talk in private?" 

"Yeah," he replied. "I don't really want to talk to any of these people anyway."

"Come on inside." Edea led him through a marble archway into the large stone building near the makeshift outdoor chapel. 

Squall couldn't help but marvel at how his childhood home, which he remembered more of every day, was nearly restored to its previous glory. Actually, even better that he'd remembered. 

They went into one of the completed bedrooms, and Squall closed the door behind them. He could see various pictured and crayon drawings scattered about the room's walls. Four small beds lined one wall. The distinct scent of crayon wax and pencil dust filled the room.

"Squall," said Edea, sitting on one of the beds. "First, I just want to say how truly sorry I am about what happened. She was like a daughter to me, and there'll always be an empty place in my heart."

"Yeah," was all Squall could reply. _In mine, too._

"I'm also sorry that I have to bring this up now, but it's very important. Do you know how Rinoa got to the Infirmary?"

Squall crossed his arms and hung his head. _Do I have to relive this again?_ "Yeah."

"And you know who was with her when she…passed away?"

Squall sighed. "Yeah, Quistis was." _Get to the point already._

Edea motioned for him to sit down next to her. Reluctantly, he complied, leaning with his elbows on his knees. "Squall, I know how much you're hurting inside, and I wish I didn't have to bring this up. But…you know that when a Sorceress dies, she automatically passes on her powers to the woman in closest proximity to her."

"I don't really care," said Squall. "Rinoa's powers were just that: powers. Her spirit, her soul, is gone. That was all I cared about. Her powers were something she had. They didn't define her."

Edea sighed. "Quistis spoke to me this morning, and told me that Rinoa passed her powers on to her."

Squall felt as if she expected him to be surprised. This had occurred to him, but he hadn't cared to bother himself with it. "I figured that," he replied. "I've felt something about her since then, but I really haven't been in the mood to talk."

Edea placed her hand on his shoulder. "I wouldn't have brought it up if it weren't so important. I'd like to talk with you again soon. I'd love it…no, I'd be honored, if you and Lexie would come stay at the orphanage for a few days. The guest room is just about finished, and Lexie can stay with the other children."

Squall focused his eyes on the floor. He really wanted to accept her offer. "I don't want to impose."

"Squall, you're like a son to me. You wouldn't be imposing."

"Okay," said Squall. "I think it would do both me and Lexie good to get out of Garden for a while."

Edea smiled and stood. "Good. After the wake, I'll get the room ready for you. Oh, one more thing…"

Squall looked up at her, causing a tear to run down his cheek. Edea knew how hard Squall fought to keep his emotions in check, and how difficult it was for him to have to release them. She sighed in her motherly way, knelt down, and hugged Squall warmly. Squall wrapped his arms around her, unsurely at first. Then, he squeezed her more tightly, realizing how much he already missed this feeling. "Thank you, Matron. For always helping us."

"You're welcome, Squall. Rinoa was truly blessed to have you in her life."

Squall gave no reply. The words stung his soul. _If she were so blessed, I would have been there to protect her._

"Don't tell Seifer," Edea said.

"Huh?" said Squall.

"Quistis asked me to tell you about her powers, because she was too afraid to tell you herself. But she doesn't want Seifer to know yet. She's doesn't know how he'll take it, and she's afraid he might reject her."

"I won't tell him," Squall replied, "though I doubt he'll reject her." He released the hug, and stood up. Edea followed suit and clasped her hands in front of her.

"It wasn't your fault," she said, after about minute of silence.

Squall gave her a questioning look.

"Your face is showing the blame you've placed on yourself. It has every time I've seen you today."

Squall turned away. As much as he loved his Matron, he didn't want to continue this conversation. "When would you like Lexie and me to come?"

Edea sighed. She'd expected Squall to avoid that subject, but it still broke her heart. "You can stay tonight, if you'd like."

Squall nodded. "I think we'd both like that. Thank you, Matron." With that, Squall strode back toward the wake, trying to blank out his mind in preparation for more attempted conversation.

*   


"Squall?"

Squall spun around in the fog. He could just barely see the distorted silhouette of a woman, approaching him slowly.

"Who's there?" he asked.

"It's me, Squall. Have you already forgotten me?"

Squall started running toward her. As he did so, her features became more visible and clearer. _That voice. Can it be…?_

"I'm here, Squall. Please, I need to talk to you."

When Squall finally reached her, he stopped cold. There she stood in front of him. The woman of his dreams, that had been so violently torn from him only days ago. But something was strange about her. Her body was translucent, and her features seemed to be swirling with the fog.

"Rin? Is it…really you?" He reached out his hand to her. She likewise reached out her hand, but when they met, his hand passed right through hers. He drew his hand back in shock. Her touch was like sticking his hand in an ice mist.

"I need to touch you so much, Squall. But I can't yet." Her eyes, forlorn and distant, blinked back tears.

"Why? What's going on? Where are we?"

"I'm stuck here, Squall, and I need your help." Rinoa started to back away. Her legs didn't move; she was floating away from him.

"Wait, Rin! Don't go!" Squall ran after her, but she vanished before he could reach her.

"I'll be here," came her voice, "but if you push everyone away, you'll always be alone. Even from me." She sounded sad, as if she were crying.

"Please, Rin, come back to me! I can't live without you!"

"None of us can make it alone." Rinoa's voice faded into the ether as she spoke the last sentence.

"Rin, come back! Please!"

Only the silence of the mist answered his plea.

"Rinoa!"

Squall's eyes shot open. He became disoriented as he realized he wasn't in a familiar room. He sat up quickly, frantically scanning the room around him. Moonlight shone in through the far window, illuminating the room in its pale glow.

_I'm at the orphanage,_ he thought. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. His eyes burned with exhaustion, so he closed them again. He then reached for his pillow, clutched it to his chest, and collapsed back onto the bed.

_That's the first dream I've had about her that wasn't like some kind of violent omen. It was almost like…like she was alive, and trying to talk to me. What does it all mean?_

*   


Quistis opened her eyes and took a deep breath. _I'll be back, Squall. I promise._

Quistis reached her hand out into the darkness, and felt it brush against something smooth and warm. She brought it down onto the object, and felt it rise and lower slightly under her touch. She heard a quiet, deep purr coming from the object.

_Seifer? Where's Squall?_ Her mind fought to reorient itself to the waking world. _I was...dreaming._ She sighed. _What does this mean? Why was I dreaming that I was Rinoa?_

_Maybe I should talk to Edea about this_, she concluded. 

She turned over onto her other side, facing the alarm clock. _Just after midnight_, she thought. _Hard to believe that just eight hours ago, we put Rinny's body into the ground. God, I miss her so much._

_I'm with you now,_ a voice replied.

That thought hadn't been hers. She gasped and whispered, "Who…who's there?"

_You'll know soon, I promise._

She definitely heard a voice, but it had come from inside her mind. _Who are you? What are you doing in my head?_ Quistis' consciousness told her she should be afraid, but her instincts made her remain calm. The presence felt more like a warm, soothing blanket than an invasion.

_Please watch after Squall. Hopefully, I'll be with you all soon._

Quistis sat up, throwing the covers off herself. _Tell me who you are! Are you the one putting all these strange feelings in my head?_

The voice did not reply. The warm blanket was slowly lifting off her mind, and she felt that she was alone again. Quistis dug the heels of her hands into her eyes as she tried to make sense of what just happened.

"Uh," came a voice behind her. Quistis turned around, and saw her husband stirring. "Quisty?"

"Ssh," said Quistis, "Go back to sleep."

Seifer rolled over and saw her sitting up on the bed. "Y'ok?" he asked sleepily.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied. "Bad dream."

"Aww," said Seifer, taking her hand in his. "I'm sorry, honey."

"Don't worry about it," she said, lying back down. She kissed his hand and cuddled into his chest. "You're here to protect me, and that's all I need."

Despite her husband's strong, warm embrace, she trembled with fear at what she seemed to be becoming.

*   


That morning, Quistis rose early from bed and quickly dressed. Seifer, awakened by the noise, sat up. "Quisty? Where you going?"

"I have to go talk to Edea again," she replied, buttoning her blouse.

"Well, hang on a few minutes," he said, starting to get out of bed. "I'll go with you."

"No, Seifer," Quistis said. "Please, I just need to talk to her alone."

"Well, why? What's wrong? If there's anything I can do…"

Quistis sighed. She walked over to Seifer and kissed him on the forehead, just above his scar. "Everything will be fine, trust me. I just…there's something personal I need to talk to her about." She only wished she believed everything _would_ be fine.

Seifer bit his lip. "Ok, fine. How long will you be gone?"

"Just a few hours," Quistis replied. "Garden's not due to leave for FH until tomorrow anyway."

"Well, tell Matron I said hi," Seifer said before lying back down.

"I will. See you later, sweetheart." She kissed Seifer full on the lips. He only half-heartedly returned the kiss.

_I have to tell him sometime soon,_ she thought, turning away. _I can't keep hiding from him. He'll start to resent me, and I need his love, and his help, now more than ever._ She then pulled on her boots and tiptoed of the apartment.

*   


After Quistis exited Balamb Garden's front entrance, she took a deep breath. The cool, salty morning air of the Cape of Good Hope usually brought so many warm feelings of forgotten memories. Now, however, the smell felt unusual, even alien, to her. 

The walk was short, so she decided against junctioning any GFs. Lately, she'd been using GFs less and less. She told everyone that it was because she wanted to set them aside for active SeeDs that might need them, but she knew that she was trying to preserve her existing memories. Now more than ever, she'd learned that memories would eventually be all you have of the ones you love. 

When she arrived at the front walk of the orphanage, she stopped and marveled at the work that had already been done. There was still visible scaffolding on the outside of the building, and several workmen were busy sanding the stone fascia, but the building already looked very attractive. It felt so much like home to her. And yet, also very unfamiliar…

"Quistis, so good to see you!" 

Quistis turned toward the flower garden. Edea, in a pale yellow sundress, straw hat and thong sandals, approached her with a smile on her face. Quistis smiled and wrapped her arms around the elder woman. "Hi, Matron, you're out early. Sorry to just drop in like this."

"Oh, don't even think about it. I love having visitors. Especially when they're my children."

"I'm sorry if you're busy, but I just needed to talk some more." Edea nodded, and led her toward the house.

"Of course," replied Edea, raising her voice to be heard over the noise of the workmen's power tools. "You know…that Squall's still here, don't you?"

Quistis nodded. "I'll only be able to stay for a little bit, so hopefully I can stay out of his way." They reached the front doorway of the orphanage.

"Actually," said Edea, closing the door behind them, "Something tells me that you want to see him, as well."

Quistis sighed and brought her hand to her face. "Why am I so easy to read?"

"Centuries of practice, dear," replied Edea, pointing to her eyes. "Centuries of practice."

Quistis smiled at her, and took a moment to study her features. Edea had become a sorceress at five years of age, and once she reached full physical adulthood, her aging process had practically stopped. For several hundred years, up until her powers were transferred to Rinoa, she had appeared to be about twenty-two. Since then, her body had aged only a few years, gaining some headway on the immense maturity of her mind. Quistis thought it ironic that her Matron only looked a few years older than _she_ was.

"Can I get you something to drink? Some tea perhaps?" Edea gestured toward a small sofa with a brown wicker coffee table in front of it.

"Yes, thank you Matron. That would be great." She sat down as Edea glided into the kitchen. As she waited for Edea's return, Quistis studied the room. She could barely remember what it had looked like when she was a child, but this is how she imagined it would have been. 

As she reminisced, a child walked into the room. He caught her attention, at the same moment he noticed her. To her, he didn't seem more than five. They looked at each other for a second, and Quistis said, "Hi, there."

"Uh, hi," said the little boy, before running into the kitchen. "Matron? Who's the lady in the living room?" Quistis chuckled at how loud the child spoke, even though Edea was in the same room as he.

"She's one of the first children to live here, many years ago," came Edea's gentle voice. Quistis heard the clinking of teacups, and Edea glided back into the room, with a teapot in one hand, and a tray with two teacups and a bowl of sugar in the other. The little boy peeked out of the kitchen at Quistis, and then hid himself from her view.

Quistis couldn't help but giggle at the boy's shyness. Edea smiled and shook her head. "Oh, Jarod, come on out and meet our guest. She's a very nice person."

Quistis blushed at the compliment. Edea handed her a steaming teacup, and she lifted it to her lips. The tea was hot, but not unbearably so, and its sweetness was just right.

"You always liked it with a little more sugar, and a bit of lemon," said Edea.

"You remembered, even though I forgot." She took another sip, savoring the cleansing warmth that it washed down the inside of her chest.

Edea shrugged. "It can be confusing, the things we remember and the things we forget. Jarod, come on now, she isn't going to bite you."

Slowly, the boy peeked out the kitchen doorway. He slowly walked into full view of the women.

"Hi, Jarod. My name is Quistis." Quistis smiled at him with the least threatening expression she could muster.

"Hi, Quistis. I…I gotta go now!" Jarod broke into a run out the side door, toward the beach. Quistis noticed for the first time that other children's voices were coming from that direction.

Edea sighed. "He's the shy one. A lot like Squall was, really."

Quistis nodded, and took a sip of her tea. _Squall's just the thing on my mind. I keep having strange thoughts about him, and those dreams…_

"I've been having some…strange feelings," said Quistis finally. She lowered her teacup to her lap. "And then last night, I had this dream…I don't know what to make of it."

"Strange in what way?" asked Edea, sitting down close to her. 

"I'm not sure how to describe them. They're just confusing me to no end." Quistis sighed and took one more sip of her tea. _Her tea is so soothing. I wonder how many centuries I'll live before I learn to make tea like this._

"Well, I'm not a psychologist, but I'll do the best I can to help." 

Quistis smiled. "Thank you, Matron. Well, I guess I should start with the night after Rinny died. I told you about how she pulled me into that 'crossroads', and then gave me her powers. Well, ever since then, I've had…I don't know…peculiar thoughts and feelings. Some of them don't even feel like they're my own. One time, I was thinking about Squall, and for a second, I thought _he_ was my husband, not Seifer. Then, at the funeral yesterday, when I looked down at Rinoa's body, I could have sworn I saw _me_ lying there, dead." She stared down at her teacup, trying to sort out her thoughts as these experiences pushed themselves back into her consciousness.

"Hmm," said Edea. "What about the dream?"

"I don't remember a lot of the specifics," started Quistis, "but I was in this thick white fog, a lot like the one in the 'crossroads'. I saw Squall there, and I started talking to him. But…it was with Rinny's voice! And I didn't really have control over what I was saying; it was kind of like I was under a spell."

Edea opened her mouth, but said nothing. Quistis looked up at her. "What is it, Matron?"

"I…nothing. I'm just, thinking, is all. Do you remember anything about what you said?"

"Well, just things like 'I'm here Squall,' and 'I need to touch you, but I can't'. And something about being 'stuck here'. Then I moved away from him, and woke up." Quistis took another sip of her tea, and set it down on the table. "But the strangest part was after I woke up. I heard a voice in my head, telling me that it would be with us soon. Do you know _anything_ about what's happening? It's all starting to frighten me, Matron."

Edea glanced around the room, apparently making sure they were alone. Then, she pulled in closer to Quistis and said, "I think I do, my dear. But we need to go somewhere else to talk about it. Would you like to walk with me at the beach?"

"Uh, sure," replied Quistis. "What's wrong, Matron? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I haven't," she replied. "But I think someone else has."

*   


Squall walked into the kitchen and filled a glass of water. As he drank it, he looked out the window at the children playing on the beach. Alexa was out there with them, enjoying herself, and basically being a child. "Don't give your childhood up too soon, dear," said Squall under his breath.

He reflected back on the dream he had had that night. He'd had plenty of nightmares where he'd seen Rinoa dead, or somehow unreachable. This time, though, it was completely different. He'd almost felt a real presence with him, not some reflection of his anxiety. _Maybe the afterlife isn't as far away as we think. Could that really have been Rinoa, or was it just another dream? _

When he'd described the dream to Edea, she couldn't answer that question. Although she was very knowledgeable about Sorcery and its implications, Rinoa's experience had been so new to her. She'd seen things in Rinoa that no other Sorceress had ever possessed. She once told him that Rinoa was the most powerful Sorceress that had ever lived, and that there would be things that even Edea would not know about her.

_Maybe that's Rin's spirit watching over me_, he thought. _If she is, maybe I'm not so alone after all._ Just then, he caught sight of Edea down on the beach, walking with someone. He squinted his eyes against the glare of the sunlight, and saw a head of brilliant golden hair on the other person.

"Quisty? Why are you here?" he said to himself. He set his glass down, and tried to decide if he should go meet her, or leave her alone for now. Finally, he made up his mind. He quickly headed out the door and down to the beach, hoping to catch Quistis before she left. _Rinoa said I need to stop pushing my friends away, and that I should talk to them. I only hope Quistis'll let me, after how I've treated her._

As he approached, they both turned to him; Quistis did so with a slight start. He waved his hand and said, "Quisty! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Squall, hi. I, uh…needed to talk to Matron." Quistis chewed her lower lip and dug into the sand with the toe of her boot.

Squall stopped in front of Quistis, and spoke just barely over the crashing waves. "Look, Quisty, I've been thinking about how I've acted, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so cross with you the past few days. I just…this has been so hard…I still can't believe she's gone." He caught himself beginning to ramble, and drew his apology to a quick close.

Quistis looked at Edea, who raised her brows and tilted her head. "Squall, I…I'm sorry, I have to get back to Garden." Quistis started to walk past him. Then, she stopped, turned around, and gave him a quick hug. Squall didn't have time to return it before she pulled away. "I'll see you when you get back. I hope…" she stopped, unable to think of anything further to say. Then, she started back up the hill toward the house in a hurried pace.

Squall turned to Edea. "What was that all about?"

Edea sighed. "She's just having trouble, getting used to her powers, and all she's gone through since that day."

"Oh," said Squall. "I hope she understands I don't hate her. It's just been to hard for me to talk to my friends lately."

Edea smiled. "She knows, Squall. And she cares for you. A great deal."


	15. Chapter 14: Crossroad

Disclaimer: I still don't own Final Fantasy. That honor belongs to SquareSoft.

  
  
  


Chapter 14: Crossroad  
Setting: Balamb Garden Classroom 204  
One Week Later

  
  


Quistis set the exam papers down, pulled off her glasses, and rubbed her eyes. She had not been able to sleep very much lately. Between Rinoa's death, her becoming a Sorceress, and the strange voice that had spoken to her inside her head, she'd become a nervous wreck. Seifer had done what he could to help her, but she was still afraid to tell him the truth. Every day this week she'd tried to embolden herself and come clean with him, but each time she had the opportunity, she'd lost her nerve.

She checked her wristwatch. It was getting late, and she didn't want to be overdue for her nightly tossing-and-turning session. She figured she'd be up enough times during the night to finish grading these papers well before class in the morning. She gathered her work, slid it into her briefcase, and stood up on her tired legs. She felt the joints in her feet pop as she walked out the classroom door, briefcase in hand, and down the hall toward her apartment.

When she arrived there, she tossed her briefcase onto the sofa and collapsed into the easy chair. She pulled off her knee-length boots and leaned back into the chair, enjoying the support it gave her tired back. _Rinoa never seemed to be in this much discomfort when she was pregnant with Lexie_, she thought. _Maybe it'll be the same with me after I get used to these powers._

She closed her eyes and felt herself drifting off into sleep. She hoped it would be a longer nap that the ones she'd been having this past week. With her exhaustion, she was having a difficult time keeping up with her students. As she slipped into her catnap, she had brief images of what she feared would become of her and her unborn child.

Alienated.

Ostracized.

Banished.

_God help us_, she thought.

Minutes later, the apartment door opened and Seifer stepped inside. When he saw her in the chair, he nodded lightly. _I figured she'd be here, since she wasn't in her classroom,_ he thought. He pulled off his boots and walked quietly to the sofa. He sat down, watching Quistis' face. Her brow furrowed as she stirred slightly. Seifer rubbed the bridge of his nose. _You're hiding something from me, something that's causing you a lot of pain. Why? All I wanna do is help you._

Quistis took a deep breath, and opened her eyes. "Seifer. I thought I felt...heard you come in."

"Sorry," replied Seifer. "I tried to be as quiet as possible."

"I just can't sleep lately. It's not your fault."

Seifer sighed, and slid off the sofa onto the floor in front of Quistis. He slipped her socks off, and began to rub one of her bare feet with his fingers. The red polish on her nails was chipped and worn, indicating she hadn't touched up the enamel for some time. He knew making herself up had been the least of her concerns recently, although he didn't know what many of those more important issues were.

Quistis purred under Seifer's strong, yet gentle touch. _That feels so good,_ she thought. _Until I got pregnant, I never would have thought Seifer would be one to give foot rubs._

Seifer usually enjoyed massaging her feet. He not only liked the fact that Quistis enjoyed them, but he also suspected he might have a slight fetish. He'd never said anything to Quistis about it, figuring she'd think he was weird. _Not that she could push me away much more,_ he thought.

This time, he was getting very little enjoyment from giving the massage. He was far too preoccupied with Quistis' condition, and her lack of sleep. It was obvious to him that something was literally tearing her up inside, but she wouldn't tell him what it was. The fact that she kept it from him was what tore _him_ up inside.

Seifer decided that it was finally time to confront her about it. If he waited until she was well rested and lucid, he'd end up waiting forever. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Quisty, you've been like a walking zombie lately. You keep saying that whatever it is, it isn't my fault." Quistis looked at him, her expression suddenly haunted. "Well, something keeps telling me that it is. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" He tried to hold eye contact with his wife, but she quickly looked away.

Quistis rubbed her temples. _Not now, Seifer. Please not now._

"When we got married," he continued, "it was 'in sickness and in health, better or worse.' Well, there's a 'worse' going on here, and I need to know about it. Look, is this because of what I said to you about Squall last week? That came out wrong. I didn't mean it like I said it. I just...I felt like you were more worried about comforting Squall than you were me. You know, I cared for Rinoa a lot too."

_Seifer, you're not very good at tact, so I hope you don't mean what it sounds like you're saying._ Quistis shook her head.

"Look," said Seifer, softening his voice, "I'm just feeling like you don't trust me."

"Seifer, it's not that I don't trust you. I'm trying to protect you from..." She froze, realizing she may have already said too much.

"From what?" asked Seifer. "Look, I'm a big boy, Instructor, and I _can_ take care of myself."

Quistis frowned and gritted her teeth. He was grating on her last nerve. "Yeah, we've seen a lot of that from you, haven't we?"

That comment lit his fuse. Seifer put her foot down and stood up, his arms crossed. "Just what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Look, Seifer, I'm just really tired, and I'm not sure what I'm saying." Quistis inwardly slapped herself for having opened her mouth.

"I don't know, sounds like something you've been holding in for a while. I wonder what else you think of me that you won't say." Seifer started walking toward the kitchen.

"Seifer, stop it! It's not anything against you. I just don't want to tell you because of your past experience with Sorceresses..." She shut her mouth quickly. _Oh shit. I can't turn back now, can I?_

Seifer spun on his heel. He returned to her chair, knelt in front of her and said, "What about Sorceresses? Tell me!"

Quistis sighed. She had rehearsed so many speeches, hoping to give Seifer the news lightly. In her currently exhausted mental state, she couldn't remember any of them. After silently reciting a quick prayer, she said, "Okay, Seifer, I'll tell you. But first, I want you to know that the reason I didn't tell you before was because I was trying to protect you. I know how much you regret the things that happened to you in the past, and the last thing I want is for you to be afraid you'll experience those things again."

"Quisty, please. Please tell me what it is. Whatever it is, we can get through it." Seifer placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed, trying to strengthen her. 

Quistis took a deep breath. "Seifer, I'm a Sorceress."

Seifer pulled his hands away. "Wha...? Quisty, that's _not_ funny."

"I'm dead serious, Seifer." She stared into his eyes, cringing at the sudden betrayal she saw reflected back at her. 

Seifer sat motionless on his heels, unbelieving of what he had just heard. It was much worse than he'd feared. "Quisty. Wh...how?"

Quistis sighed. "I'll explain as best I can. You weren't with us back then, but right after the battle with Ultimecia, Rinoa told us all that her powers had somehow been sealed away from her. In truth, though, she still had them, and she, Squall, and Edea hid that from us. She was afraid of being hated because of them, and didn't want anyone to see her as anything other than who she was. She kept the secret from us all until she died. But since I was the one with her in the Infirmary when she passed away, her powers fell onto me. That's when I became a Sorceress."

Seifer continued staring at her. The color had completely drained from his face, and his body was so still Quistis wasn't sure he was breathing.

"Seifer, don't look at me like that, like I'm some kind of monster," she begged, taking his hands. "I am so frightened of myself that I can't sleep, I'm having trouble concentrating, and I'm worried sick about our baby." Quistis trembled with the emotional exertion of her confession. _Please say you still love me, Seifer. Please. I can't make it without you. I can't do this all alone._

_My God,_ Seifer thought. _I'm...I'm a Sorceress' knight all over again._ He stared into her eyes, like a Mesmerize caught in the floodlights of an approaching hovercar. He had imagined her news would be surprising, but not this much. Lowering his head, he stood up and turned away from her. The hairs on his neck stood on end as he began to imagine the consequences of what she had revealed.

"Seifer, say something, please," Quistis begged. "I need you. I need you...to be my knight."

Seifer remained silent for a few more heartbeats. Finally, he turned, nodded, and said, "Yes, I'll be your knight."

Quistis blinked with relief, tears stinging her bloodshot eyes. "Thank you," she said, her voice shaky. Then, as Seifer started heading for the door, "Where are you going?"

Seifer stopped but did not look back at her. "I...I just have to...to sort some things out. I'll be back in a little while."

"Seifer, wait, please. Please tell me that you still love me. That you still _want_ me. I can't make it without you." Quistis pushed herself up out of the chair and headed after him.

Still facing away from her, Seifer replied, "I do love you, Quistis. I always will, you know that. I just need some time alone to think this all out. Don't follow me, please." He walked out of the apartment, gently closing the door behind him.

Quistis covered her mouth with her hands and started to cry. A moment later, she then turned to a wall mirror, and saw herself. Her hair was frazzled and stuck out in all directions. Her face was oily, and what little makeup she wore was running. Although her stomach had just been beginning to grow, her cheeks were surprisingly bony and thin. She felt so ugly, and silently wished she could just curl up and die. She ran back to her easy chair and flopped down, her face buried in her hands.

As she wept, she felt an unusual, yet familiar warmth wrap itself around her heart. She recognized its source when she once again began to hear a voice in her head.

_He'll be back, Quisty. With all he went through with Ultimecia, he just needs to think for a while._

Quistis looked up. _Rinoa? Is that you?_ She scanned the room, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

_Yes. I knew you'd figure it out,_ replied Rinoa's voice.

_Where are you? Are you in my mind?_ Quistis shuddered at the thought of her friend being trapped in her tortured psyche.

_No,_ Rinoa answered. _I don't have a whole lot of time. I'm not even totally sure what's happened to me, but I'll try to explain it. Do you remember the place where we last spoke, as I died?_

_Yes,_ replied Quistis. _I could never forget it. _

_I called it a Crossroad, because I couldn't think of any other word to describe it. Anyway, when my link with my body was severed, you were going back to the living world and Jett and I were pulled toward the afterlife. Then I felt something tug back at me. Before I could cross the threshold into Heaven, I was snapped back like a rubber band. Jett was pulled out of my arms and taken away from me._

Quistis gasped. _So...you're stuck in the Crossroad? Alone?_

_Yes,_ the deceased Sorceress said. _I think I was kept here because of the strong bond you and I shared. I think you unconsciously wanted me to stay, so you tried to pull me back into the living world. But since I don't have a body there that can sustain my life, I couldn't get back all the way. The only way I'm able to visit like this is by riding the link your powers have connected between us. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense._

Quistis leaned back in her chair. To her, it actually _was_ making sense. _How did you figure all this out? _

Rinoa's reply was plaintive and emotionally drained. _I've had a long time with nothing to do but think. I can't even sleep here._

Quistis chewed her lip as she felt her stomach sink to her ankles. _It's my fault._

_No. You couldn't help it, Quisty. Please don't blame yourself. _

Quistis took a moment to absorb this news that she had received from her best friend. This whole sequence of events was beginning to overwhelm her. _But...wait a second. Why was I having those feelings that _I_ was_ you_?_

She heard Rinoa sigh. _I learned soon after I died about the link between you and me. When I first tried to use it to talk to you, I didn't know how. I projected my thoughts into you, but I did something wrong and ended up caught in your conscious mind for a short time. I think that's what caused you to have those confusing thoughts. Whenever it happened I tried to pull back and go another route. I wasn't always successful, though. I'm sorry._

_It's okay,_ Quistis replied. _I'm just so glad that you're back with us._

_I can't go anywhere but the Crossroad. I can't get into the real world under my own power for very long, and I can't move toward Heaven without being pulled back here. _

Quistis' mouth opened wide, and she began to feel even more guilt pile onto her heart. _But there's gotta be something we can do! Oh, God, Rinny, I'm so sorry!_

_Don't be, Quisty, you couldn't help it. You've helped me a lot already. I was able to use our link to talk to Squall and Lexie, in their dreams._

_So the dreams I had...I was talking to Squall. He seemed to be doing much better the last time I saw him._ Quistis rubbed her eyes. _Lexie seemed to be having fun with the other children at the orphanage. _

She heard Rinoa sigh again, but it was almost a sigh of relief. _I'm glad they're doing well. I want to keep coming back. For longer, if possible. If I spend too long communicating with the real world, I get tired and slip back here. I've been practicing since I've been here, and I think I'm doing better. _

_I'll find a way to help you stay longer, Rinny,_ said Quistis. _I owe you that, and so much more._

_Thank you. I...I miss Squall and Lexie so much. All I want is to be with them. I never wanted to leave...oh..._

_Rinny? Are you okay?_

_I'm getting tired, Quisty. I have to let go for now. I'll be back, though. I promise._

Quistis nodded. _I'll talk to you again soon, Rinny. I love you. I miss you._

_I love you and miss you too, Quisty. _

As had happened the week before, the soothing presence withdrew itself from her mind, leaving her alone with her own thoughts. _Rinoa, I'm so sorry. That's something nobody should have to go through. At least I can talk to you again. I promise I'll do everything I can to get you back with Squall and Lexie._

Quistis wanted to get up, run out of the apartment, and tell everyone that Rinoa wasn't totally gone. That she was doing everything she could to be back with them all. But the Sorceress decided this wasn't the time. If Quistis were the only one that could hear her, they'd all think she was losing her mind.

Quistis let her hands fall to her sides. On the one hand, she felt a newfound excitement in the chance of having her best friend back from the dead. On the other hand, she knew it was her powers that had trapped her friend's soul in limbo, and that weighed great despair on her heart. The combination of the two emotions only served to wipe out the nervous energy to which she'd clung for over a week.

Having temporarily forgotten about Seifer, and about the papers she needed to grade, she closed her eyes. As she drifted off into the deepest sleep she'd had in a week, she swore that somehow she would bring Rinoa back for good.

*   


At the Esthar Airstation, a small airship touched down. This airship was of similar design, but was sleeker and more advanced than the Ragnarok. As its engines shut down, the rear egress ramp lowered to the deck.

On the deck, Laguna Loire ran up to the ramp, his arms wide open. He smiled when he saw the airship's two passengers descending the ramp. "Hey, Squall! Hey Lexie! Welcome back to Esthar!"

"Hi, Dad," said Squall, carrying Alexa on his shoulders.

"Hi, Grandpa!" shouted Alexa excitedly.

"Don't worry about your bags," said Laguna. "My chauffeur'll get them to the Presidential Residence. That...is where you want to stay, right?"

"If it's okay with you," said Squall. "Not that I could say no to you after all you've done for us."

Laguna gave a half smile and scratched the back of his head. "Well, come on then. Kiros and Ward are waiting there." He held his arms out, and Squall placed Alexa into them. Laguna bounced her in the air a few times, saying, "Wow, you're getting to be a big girl!"

Alexa giggled. Squall couldn't help but smile, a reaction that got Laguna smiling even wider. "If I had a gil for every time I've seen you smile, son, I'd have almost enough for a soft drink."

"Tell you what, I'll make up the difference," said Squall.

"A joke? You never cease to amaze me!" Laguna laughed out loud.

The three of them walked off toward Laguna's hover limousine, Laguna rambling on about any subject that came to his mind. Squall, though still finding his father to be an incorrigible goofball, was starting to believe that the man knew more about people than he let on. _He's keeping the conversation light, and hasn't even mentioned Rinoa. I'm glad for that. Whether or not that was really her I talked to a week ago, I want to try to concentrate on helping Lexie think about other things._

On the ride to the Presidential Residence, Laguna and Alexa talked up a storm. Squall, on the other hand, gazed out at Esthar City. The largest city in the world awed him, no matter how many times he'd seen it. Sometimes, he found it hard to believe that his formerly estranged father was its leader.

Once they arrived at the Residence, the three got out of the limousine and were greeted by the thin, dark-skinned Kiros, and the bulky, silent Ward. Squall gave polite hellos, and followed Laguna into the building.

"Hey, Ward, Kiros," said Laguna. "Could you guys, uh, show Lexie her room? I...you know..."

Ward nodded understandingly. Kiros said, "Sure, Laguna. C'mon, Lexie, we've got your room all set up for you."

"Cool!" said Alexa, as Ward hoisted her up onto his shoulders. The three disappeared down one of the many corridors branching off the Residence's main hall.

Laguna led Squall into a large room whose walls were stacked almost five meters high with books. Laguna motioned to a thickly cushioned leather chair, and Squall sat down, slouching in his usual manner.

Laguna sighed and opened a panel in the wall. From it he produced a bottle of amber liquid and two glasses. He walked over to Squall, set the glasses on a nearby table, and filled them both. Then, setting the bottle down, he handed one glass to Squall, taking the other as he sat in his own plush seat.

Squall examined the liquid for a second, and then let his attention wander away. Laguna spoke up, "Try it. Esthar makes some of the best brandy I've ever had. It really breaks the ice and warms you up." He smirked at his own attempt at wit.

Squall looked up at his father. "I get the feeling you've got a lot of experience with bad puns."

"Well..." said Laguna, straightening his collar. He took a sip from his glass. "I didn't think it was _that_ bad."

Squall gave a small smile and took a drink. He raised his eyebrows as the brandy warmed his throat, and sent a heating sensation all the way down to his stomach. He closed his eyes, allowing the warmth to penetrate him.

"See, I told you it's good," said Laguna, taking another sip. 

Squall nodded. After a few seconds of silence, he said, "I don't know if I can do it." His voice was slightly rough from the alcohol in his throat.

"Do what?"

"Raise Lexie on my own," said Squall grimly. "Rinoa was so...so caring, and so kind, and so loving. She was the perfect mother and the perfect wife. And look at me. I spent my whole life pushing everyone away, learning to deal with things on my own. What kind of way is that to raise a person as wonderful as Lexie?"

"Squall, you _are_ a great person," said Laguna. "Rinoa always saw that in you. You stuck by her, even when things got tough, and you did everything you could to make her happy. And she _was_ happy; she always told me so."

Squall nodded slowly, taking a second sip of his drink. It bothered him how everyone, even he, was talking about Rinoa in the past tense. She'd become nothing more than a memory. He sat silently for a few seconds, before saying, "Tell me about Mom."

That request caught Laguna completely off guard. Not that he'd never expected Squall to ask about Raine, but he'd never been able to figure out what to say about her. "Raine? Well, she was, uh...she was wonderful. I guess I can't think of another word for her. _Wonderful_ just fit her in every way."

"What was she like?" persisted Squall. "I got to see her a little bit, through your eyes, but I didn't really get to know her."

Laguna set his glass down and rubbed the back of his head. "I nearly forgot about that whole thing. Well, what was she like? She was strong, stubborn, caring. I guess she had to be stubborn to put up with me, eh?

"She took care of me, from the moment we met. I was just kind of a screw-up back then, but she must've seen something in me. She nursed me back to health, and I just never went away. Man, she had to have been stubborn to put up with me. Even when I proposed, I hardly did that right. I nearly choked on myself and ran away."

"Huh," said Squall, with a slight smile on his face. "Yeah, I know what you mean about proposals. When I asked Rinoa to marry..." he trailed off as he realized that he was about to start rambling.

Laguna looked at him, his head cocked slightly.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," said Squall, his tone a shade darker.

"No, go on," pushed Laguna.

Squall shook his head. "Maybe later. Tell me more. How did you two get married? How long had you been together? Do you think..." Squall trailed off again, but decided to finish his query, "do you think she'd be...happy with me, with what I am?"

"You bet she would!" said Laguna excitedly. "I mean, she once told me how she wanted her kids to be strong and to have good heads on their shoulders. Look at you. You're only 22, and you're the Commander of the most skilled army in the world, you have a wonderful family of your own, and a lot of friends that care about you. I know that Raine's looking down at you from Heaven, and is just so proud of you she'd burst!"

Squall's cheeks turned a light shade of red as he took another sip. He was beginning to feel his skin grow warm as the alcohol buzz kicked in. Not wanting to become intoxicated, Squall set the glass down on the table. "I wish I'd known her," he said.

"Me too," said Laguna. "Honestly, she would be a lot better mother than I've been a father."

Squall sighed. If he didn't know better, he'd think Laguna were fishing for compliments. 

"Every day since I've known you were alive, I wish I'd looked for you just a little bit harder, when you needed me. When Raine died from that illness, just after you were born, the people of Winhill sent you to live at the Kramers' orphanage in Centra. When I returned to Winhill to look for Raine, they told me she'd already passed away. They never mentioned anything about us having had a child. I never even knew she was pregnant. All I could do was mourn for her. Squall, if I'd known then that you'd been born..."

"Laguna. Dad, don't. Please," said Squall. His voice shook, just barely. "There was more you could have done, but there was a lot that you couldn't. I've come to accept that, and I don't want to hear you put yourself down any more."

"Then you stop it, too," said Laguna. "Like it or not, you've become a better man than me. And I won't sit here and listen to you insult yourself, because if you _are_ a better man than me, that reflects on me too. I'm not saying things will be easy, but you can be a good father. You already _are_ one. Lexie loves you to death. So just deal with it."

Squall stared at Laguna for a minute. Then, he began to chuckle. "You know, when I first met you, I never imagined you'd have turned out as wise as you did."

"Hey, thanks, I think," said Laguna. 

"I've been seeing her in my sleep," said Squall, changing the subject.

"Seeing...who? Raine?"

Squall shook his head. "Rinoa. Almost like she's talking to me from the afterlife."

Laguna nodded slowly. "Every now and then, even today, I have a dream where I'm talking to Raine from beyond the grave. It almost feels like being back with her."

"It's more that just feeling like it," said Squall. "It's like it was her spirit, actually talking to me."

Laguna stroked his chin. "Well, you know, maybe it was."

Squall cocked his head. "Don't patronize me."

Laguna shrugged. "I'm serious. I honestly don't know much about Sorceresses or their powers. Maybe her powers are allowing her to come back and see you."

Squall glanced over at his drink. He really wanted to take another sip, but he was afraid that if he did, he might get a little too tipsy and would lose control over his emotions. "She passed them on before she died. Quistis, our friend, has them now."

Laguna nodded. "Quistis is the...blonde one, right? She's pretty."

Squall sighed. Laguna had slipped back into his "kid mode."

"Well, hey," said Laguna, "maybe she's kind of, I don't know, talking to you through Quistis. Kind of like a relay?"

Squall looked at Laguna, but was speechless. _That...could that be it? Maybe that's why Quistis avoided me back at the orphanage. Now I really need to talk to her._

Laguna noticed Squall's reaction and smiled. "Hey, I must be on to something," he said, finishing his drink. His words were beginning to slur. 

"Yeah, if she'll even talk to me," Squall said darkly. "She ran away from me the last time I saw her."

"Well, if she's going through the same things that Rinoa did when _she_ was new with her powers, then it makes sense. Maybe she knows about it, and is afraid to tell you. Or maybe she doesn't know how to tell you. Or, maybe she doesn't know, and she's just confused. Women can be funny like that. They need to talk to someone so much, but when that someone is there, they run away. It's just like..." Laguna continued on, pausing only to take breaths periodically. 

Squall half-listened to Laguna's monologue, which persisted for the next ten minutes. He tried getting a word in edgewise a couple times, but was drowned out by the elder's ramblings. _I forgot what he's like when he gets going,_ thought Squall. _I might as well just wait, and eventually he'll..._

Laguna's speech faded off into silence. Squall examined his father, and determined he'd fallen asleep in his chair. _He hasn't changed since that time with Julia Heartilly,_ thought Squall. He considered waking Laguna up and then retiring to his guest room. Instead he sat there, watching the middle-aged man sleep. 

_My father,_ Squall thought. _What would I have been like if I'd been raised by him, instead of by Matron?_ He looked at his half-full glass on the table next to him. Shrugging, he thought, _I'd probably be a spoiled little rich kid, and I never would have met Rinoa. I guess things worked out for the better. No offense, Dad._ He downed the remaining contents of his glass and set it back down. Then, as the alcohol warmed his stomach, he leaned back in the chair and uneasily dozed off.

*   


Quistis opened her eyes as an alarm sounded. The sunrise peeked through the window blinds and gave the room an early-morning glow. She took in a deep breath, and relished in how refreshed she felt. _That must be the longest I've slept in a week._

She then noticed that a blanket had been placed over her and wrapped around her legs. She looked over at the sofa and saw Seifer lying there, covered with his own blanket. He was hiding his head underneath a pillow, trying to drown out the constant buzzing of the alarm clock.

She sighed and pulled the blanket off herself. _At least he came back,_ she thought. She pushed herself up out of the chair, her back and neck protesting the motion. She instantly regretted having fallen asleep in the chair, but realized that, as tired as she was last night, she probably wouldn't have made it to the bedroom. She grimaced as she rubbed her neck, trying to loosen the knot inside it.

She walked over to the clock and silenced it. _Oh-seven hundred,_ she read from the clock's face. _Thanks, Seifer. I probably would have slept a few more hours, and completely missed my class this morning._ Then, she glanced at her briefcase, set neatly on top of the coffee table. _Damn, forgot about those._

She quietly picked up the briefcase, watching Seifer for any sign of life. Either he had fallen back asleep, or he was trying to do so. Giving him a grateful smile, she took her briefcase into the kitchen. She figured she had about a half-hour to work on finishing the papers, and then had to get ready for class. As much as she hated skipping breakfast, it looked like she'd be doing it once again.

Seifer's awareness slowly came to him as he realized the alarm had been silenced. He lifted the pillow from his head slightly, to see Quistis walking into the kitchen with her briefcase. He sighed, and tried to decide when would be the right time to go talk to her.

The night before, he had gone straight to the Training Center and slaughtered hordes of the newest, most powerful creatures there. Afterward, he'd gone to the "secret place" in the back of the Center and just stood there, gazing back at Garden. He'd never told anyone, not even Quistis, but he found the outside view of Garden at night to be very soothing. Indeed, it had helped calm the knot that had formed in his stomach when Quistis made her confession.

Seifer had asked himself so many questions. _Why didn't she tell me? Why did this happen to her? Why me?_ Indeed, Quistis's worries were justified. He did become afraid of her after she told him. How could she have expected him _not_ to? After he'd recovered from Ultimecia taking over his mind and warping it to her own needs and desires, he'd had no wish to ever _see_ a Sorceress again. Now he was married to one.

However, after having had a chance to sleep on it, he decided that he would do his best not to let anything change between himself and his wife. Quistis may have new, even frightening abilities now, but she was still the same person that he'd married. He'd sworn back then to love, honor and cherish her, and he swore to himself again that he would follow through on that vow. No matter what.

All that thinking had started Seifer's heart beating at a mile a minute. He pushed the pillow off his head and sat up on the sofa. After rubbing his head roughly, he stood up and strode into the kitchen. There he saw Quistis, toiling hard at some work she must have had left over from the night before.

"'Morning," he said.

Quistis glanced up quickly out of reflex, but quickly looked back down. "Good morning."

"Is that stuff from yesterday?"

Quistis nodded.

"Will you be able to get it done?" asked Seifer.

"I'll try."

Seifer nodded. Then after watching her for a second, he walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. "What do you feel like this morning? Eggs and toast? Cereal? Or do you want something from the cafeteria?"

Not stopping her work, Quistis said, "No, I'm fine."

Seifer closed the fridge and sat down at the kitchen table. "Quisty, look, I've made a decision. I don't want anything to change between us. You're the same person you were when I fell in love with you. I'm not going to let this thing about you being a Sorceress hurt our relationship. I love you, and I want us to have a family together, just like we planned. And I'll be your knight, for as long as we live."

Quistis stopped her work and looked up at Seifer. Her eyes seemed brighter and more confident than they had been during the past week. She smiled and said, "Thank you, Seifer. That's all I needed to hear."

Seifer smiled and took her hand. It was quite warm to his touch. "I'll go grab you something from the cafeteria. You shouldn't go without eating, you know."

Quistis' first instinct was to turn him down, but she decided that she was actually quite hungry. "Sure. Make it quick, though, because I have to start getting ready in twenty minutes."

Seifer winked at her. "You got it, Instructor." He got up and walked out of the kitchen. He then grabbed his boots and walked out of the apartment with them in his hand.

Quistis smiled and looked back down at her work. _You were right, Rinny. You were right._

*   


_Daddy?_

Squall stirred from his slumber, his back and neck protesting. _Damn, did I fall asleep in the chair?_ He rubbed his neck and looked over at his father, still fast asleep in his chair. _I wonder what time it is._

_Daddy, where are you?_

Squall stood up and looked at the door back to the main hall. He had been hearing Alexa's voice in his head much more often as of late. In a way, he welcomed it. Ever since he and Rinoa had learned to communicate telepathically, Squall had become accustomed to, even dependent on, hearing his wife's voice in his head. Now that she was gone...

_Daddy?_

_I'm coming, sweetie,_ he thought back.

_Okay_, came the child's reply.

Squall wasn't sure whether or not he was glad that he and his three-year-old daughter were starting to share the same telepathic link. Although it was comforting to not be alone in his mind, he wondered how much of his tormented thoughts she could overhear.

He headed out into the main hall and down the opposite corridor. The blue and white decorations of the Presidential Residence fit Esthar's design scheme perfectly. He gazed at the extraordinary tapestries hanging on the walls, as well as the portraits of Esthar's great leaders, from before Adel's time. He remembered Laguna telling him that Adel had once lived in this very same mansion. The thought gave him chills, as it brought back memories of the battle they had waged against her at Lunatic Pandora.

_And one of the may times Rinoa almost died,_ he thought. He had been so happy to talk to her, even if just in his dream. But a week had passed since then, and he hadn't had any more dreams about her at all. No conversations with her, and no strange, violent ones where he was responsible for her death. In fact, he couldn't remember having dreamed at all since that night.

_Maybe I'm just going crazy_, he thought. He stopped in his tracks, and turned back around. He'd been so preoccupied with himself that he'd walked past Alexa's room. He went back up the hall two doors and touched a wall panel. The nearby door lifted with a sigh, allowing him to enter.

When Squall noticed the piles of toys and stuffed animals illuminated dimly by the nightlight, he shook his head. _He's gonna spoil her if we stay here too long. _

_I'm not spoiled,_ argued Alexa's voice.

Squall walked over to the bed, where Alexa was sitting up, clutching a plush moogle to her chest. "What's wrong, Lexie?" he asked.

"I had a bad dream," she replied.

Squall picked her up into his arms and began rocking the child gently. "I've been having bad dreams too," he fibbed. "But that's all they are, dreams. They can't hurt you."

"They can hurt Mommy."

Squall stopped rocking, and looked deep into the girl's eyes. "What do you mean? Mommy can't be hurt anymore. She's in Heaven now."

Alexa shook her head. "She can't get there. She's stuck somewhere, but I can't find her."

Squall stared at her, unable to believe what she'd just said. "Mommy was a good person. She's in Heaven, Lexie."

"Heaven tried to take her, but she was pulled back. Aunt Quisty didn't want her to go." Alexa wiped an eye with the back of her hand.

"Honey, it was just a dream," said Squall trying to sound soothing. In reality, his voice was shaking. As much of a little child as she was, he knew how powerful she was, even if she didn't know how to use those powers yet. And part of him suspected that, somehow, she knew what she was talking about. 

Alexa shook her head again. 

"Lexie, please, just try to go back to sleep," he said, his emotions strained. "We'll call Aunt Quisty tomorrow and talk to her about it if you want, okay?"

Lexie frowned, but nodded. Squall laid her back down in the bed and tucked her in.

"Daddy, tell me a story, please. Tell me how you met Mommy," she begged.

Squall rubbed the back of his neck. Of all the stories they had told Alexa in her three years of life, the one she seemed to love the most was how he and Rinoa had first met at the SeeD Graduation Ball. He couldn't blame the child for liking the story; looking back, it seemed very much like a fairy tale to him. He actually enjoyed telling it to Alexa, each time making it sound more and more like an actual fairy tale. She didn't need to know Squall was put off by the whole dancing thing. Or that Rinoa was only there to hire SeeD to help her kidnap Vinzer Deling.

"Okay," Squall said. Drawing on his emotional reserves, he started, "It was a night of happiness. Uncle Zell, Aunt Selphie, and I had just graduated and become SeeDs. There was a great big party that night, because everyone was so happy for us. There were balloons and streamers and..."

As he continued telling the story, embellishing everything that he could, Alexa's eyes slowly drooped closed. Once he reached the part where their dance ended, he slowly covered his daughter with her blanket. She purred and turned onto her side.

_Good night_, he thought, doing his best to keep that thought private. He turned and walked back out the door, touching the wall outside. The door hissed closed, leaving Squall alone in the corridor with his thoughts.

_Rin, if you're not really gone, then why haven't you talked to me again? If I have to, I can get by without you, but I don't want to. Please, if you're there, say something to me._

He was greeted only by silence. There was no audible voice, nor was there one inside his head. With a heavy sigh, he headed one more door down to the guest room he and Rinoa had occupied the last time they'd visited. Upon entering, he saw his bags had been set on the floor, but were untouched otherwise.

_I'll be waiting,_ he thought. _If you come here, you'll find me. I promise. _

He took of his new blue jacket and kicked off his boots. As he lay in the bed, he crossed one arm over his eyes. _If you don't come, then I'm going to go find you. If Lexie's right, and you are stuck somewhere between Heaven and Earth, I'm going to find a way to bring you back. I swear it._

  
  
  
  


Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I've been very busy with some personal business. I'll try to get new chapters up sooner. Enjoy :)


	16. Chapter 15: Reunion Of Souls

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy is owned by SquareSoft. This fic is not authorzed by them, nor is the author receiving any sort of financial rewards for writing and/or publishing this fic. He is also poor, so please don't sue him.

  
  
  


Chapter 15: Reunion of Souls  
Setting: Esthar Airstation  
One Week Later

  
  


"Hey, Squall! How ya doing?"

Squall looked up and saw Zell running down the Ragnarok's landing ramp. "Hey, Zell. What are you doing here?"

"Well, I pulled rank and made the pilot let me come along. It's been a while since I've seen ya, and I just wanted to see how you, ya know…how you're doing."

Squall turned back to his companions. Laguna gave one of his trademark half-smiles and patted him on the shoulder. Ellone gave him a warm smile. "Better," he said to Zell, who had walked in front of him.

"Good, glad to hear it, 'cause everyone was worried about ya, you know!"

Squall looked at Zell for a minute. Then, he stuck his hand out. Zell, confused for a moment, just looked at the hand. Then, he took it in his hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Thanks for taking over for me, Zell," Squall said. "I'm…sorry I was being such an ass."

"Hey, don't worry," said Zell. "We all expected it."

Squall raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, I mean…uh," stammered Zell, "You know, with what happened and all…damn."

Squall shook his head. "It's all right, don't worry about it." Then, to Laguna, "Hey, where's Lexie?"

They all turned to see Ward, Laguna's tall, hulking partner, jogging onto the landing platform with Alexa on his shoulder. The little girl squealed with delight at her bucking bronco.

"C'mon, time to go home," Squall called out to her.

"Now Squall," said Ellone, taking Squall's hand, "you know you can call on me if you ever need to talk. You don't have to deal with everything by yourself. Sometimes we all need someone else."

"That's something Rinoa always said to me." When Squall saw the concerned look on Ellone's face, he quickly said, "I'm doing better. But I promise I'll call if I need to talk."

Ellone smiled at him, but the smile was more of sympathy than happiness at Squall's accepting of her help. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him on the cheek. "Don't be a stranger, Commander."

"Thanks, I won't."

When they broke the embrace, Laguna stepped in, his hand playing with his ponytail behind his head. "Well, son, the same goes with me. Call me any time of the day or night, if you want to. And if you just want to come back and forget about things, just drop in. Things will probably be tough for you, but just remember you've always got us. You can…"

"Laguna."

Laguna turned his head toward Kiros. Both he and Ward had one eyebrow raised, and Ward was shaking his head slightly.

"Oh, sorry," said Laguna. "You do have to get going. Well, anyway, have a good trip, and we'll see ya later!"

"Bye Grandpa!" said Alexa. Laguna knelt down and ruffled Alexa's hair.

"Byee Lexee! See yoo later!" said Laguna in his heaviest "little kid" accent. Squall, Kiros, and Ward all put their hands to their foreheads.

"I don't talk like that," said Alexa, pouting.

"I was just…uh…"

Alexa smiled deviously. "Made ya nervous!"

Kiros, Ward, and Zell all laughed. Squall smiled and placed his hand on Alexa's back. "Come on, sweetie, time to get aboard." 

*   


Quistis lay on the sofa, her head in Seifer's lap. Her eyes were closed, and her rhythmic breathing told him she had finally gone to sleep. As Seifer looked down at her flawless porcelain features, he felt a sense of uneasiness.

He was not fearful that Quistis would use him like Ultimecia had. Ultimecia was purely self-serving, plain and simple. Quistis cared about others as much, if not more, than she did herself. That was one quality that, until they had found love in each other, he could not have said he possessed. 

His fear was for _her_. According to Quistis, Rinoa had been frightened both of the consequences against her, and against her friends, if the world had known she was still a Sorceress. Seifer knew better than anyone that Galbadia in particular would have hunted her down and persecuted her, just for possessing a power she never wanted to begin with. 

Now Quistis was in that same position. Perhaps his guilt was part of his drive, but Seifer swore that he would protect her to the end.

He studied every feature of her sleeping face and burned it into his memory. _Even if it costs me my life, I'll protect you_. He stroked her cheek, and his heart warmed as she smiled with his touch.

Another thought that had been troubling him forced its way into his consciousness. _What about our son? Will Quisty's powers hurt him, somehow? Or, even worse, will my own selfishness make him turn into me?_ Although Seifer had never pictured himself as a father, he had begun to accept the role ever since Quistis told him she was pregnant. When she'd broken the news, he nearly had a heart attack. He'd wondered just what kind of father he'd become.

As much as he tried to put it past him, he still felt like a tool of evil. He had been used to attack his home and try to kill those with whom he grew up. He prayed that their son would have more strength of character than he did. Seifer had decided that he would do his best to guide Tracker down a better path than he took. Despite that, however, he could not help worrying every now and then. But he also knew that some things would be beyond his control, and he just needed to deal with them as they came. Whatever happened, happened.

_Besides, Alexa turned out fine. I'm sure Tracker'll be all right._

Seifer grumbed at himself. _Too much damn thinking. I'm becoming like Squall. And speak of Diablos,_ he thought, changing the subject in his own mind, _Squall gets back in the morning. If Quisty's right, he's gonna have one hell of a surprise waiting for him._

At first, he hadn't believed Quistis when she'd told him that not only was she able to communicate with Rinoa's spirit, but that Rinoa was actually visiting the living world every now and then. _I hope she knows when not to look_, Seifer had joked. _I'm no peep show._

Seifer was tired. Tired of worrying, and tired of thinking. He leaned his head back and shut his eyes, trying to force all conscious thought out of his head. The one thing he had learned at Garden, in the many years he'd lived there, was that things always get more complicated. All you can do is sleep at night and deal with it in the morning.

*   


Squall walked into Alexa's room, the toddler sleeping soundly in his arms. She had expended so much energy playing with Zell on the trip back that he had to carry her all the way from the landing platform back to their apartment. Once he'd laid her in bed and tucked her in, he stood over her and stared down at her. _I grew up an orphan, so knowing my mother was dead didn't affect me much. I can't even imagine how bad it is for her. Can I do it? Can I really take Rin's place?_

Squall felt far too tired to dwell on his worries. Although it was mid-morning, it felt like late evening to him. He'd gotten a serious case of jet lag on the trip back, and his body felt like a sack of wet flour. He tiptoed into the living room and looked down at the suitcases that Zell had brought in for him. He didn't particularly feel like unpacking them. The past two weeks had been refreshing, to a degree, but it felt so good to be home that all he wanted to do was rest his weary body on the sofa. He didn't want to face the empty bed quite yet.

He was glad Zell had come with them on the flight back from Esthar. It had given Squall a chance to patch things up with his friend, and to catch up on Garden's status. He planned to take this day off to reorient himself and Alexa to living at home again, especially with it being a home without Rinoa. After that, he would get back in the saddle and take over his command duties again. He hated having nothing to do almost as much as he hated being without his wife.

A glint of metal caught his eye. Squall glanced over at an end table and discovered several items he wished he could have skipped over this morning. He picked them up and, after rubbing them between his fingers, examined them closely. A simple thin platinum ring, a second platinum ring etched with the image of a lion, and a two foot silver chain linking them together. He couldn't remember a time that Rinoa had not worn this necklace. She originally had only the thin ring on it, but had later added Squall's own Griever ring. After some time, she'd returned Squall's ring and replaced it with a copy Zell made for her. 

Upon examining the thinner ring, Squall noticed writing etched inside it. He suddenly realized he'd never actually looked at the ring, which had once been Julia Heartilly's wedding band. He felt a knot tighten in his stomach. Rinoa had lost her mother when she was not much older than Alexa. 

Squall shook his head, refusing to give in to depression just yet. He examined the ring and was just able to make out the writing: 

"Share With Me Your Love."

He recognized it instantly to be a paraphrased quote from _Eyes On Me_. He found it hard to imagine General Caraway as a romantic, but understood that if this ring were Julia's, Caraway must have chosen the engraving. Squall rubbed his left brow, where Caraway had punched him two weeks earlier. The wound was long since healed, but it still stuck needles into his brain, as his guilt over Rinoa's death slashed its way through his heart. Caraway had already lost a wife, and then Squall had lost him his daughter.

Squall glanced back at the table. He saw another ring, this one gold with a modest diamond adorning the top, surrounded by tiny sapphires. Rinoa's wedding ring. Squall had almost let it be buried with her, but decided at the last minute that it should be passed on to Alexa. As a replacement, he had given Rinoa the beloved Griever pendant that he had always worn, even into battle. He'd wanted his last gift to her to be something special.

Squall picked up the wedding ring, and glanced at the gold band on the third finger of his left hand. His had no jewels on it, but was embossed with an intricate pattern that resembled a pair of wings. He had always loved the design, because it reminded him of how much of a true angel Rinoa was. He'd also thought it was appropriate symbolism; whenever Rinoa used her Sorceress powers, white wings would magically grow from her back.

Squall opened the chain's clasp, slid the wedding ring onto it, and closed it again. He let the gold ring slide down, joining the others, and examined the trio of rings. He then glanced at the Griever ring on his right hand, middle finger. Squall closed his eyes for a second, bringing back images of the time Rinoa had first borrowed the ring. Balamb and Galbadia Garden were locked in battle; that battle had ended in Squall's first failure as SeeD Commander, and had nearly cost Rinoa her life. It was the first...no, _second_ time he'd nearly killed her by either his actions, or his _inactions_.

When he opened his eyes again, he undid the clasp of the chain, placed it around his neck, and closed it. He looked down at his chest as the three rings came to a rest on his breastbone. Somehow, wearing this necklace made him feel that much closer to his beloved wife.

Finally giving in to his body's cries for relief, Squall flopped down on the sofa in a reclining position. Seconds later, as suddenly as his body had fallen, his eyelids followed suit.

As he drifted from consciousness, images floated in front of his mind's eye. Rinoa, dead, lying in the casket. Rinoa in her wedding gown, very much alive and smiling tenderly at him. Alexa as a newborn, being held by her sweaty, flushed-faced mother.

Quistis trembling as she hugged herself, covered in blood. Quistis, walking down the aisle at his wedding, with Zell at her arm. Seifer, giving Squall a grudging but respectful handshake at their first meeting since his return from exile. Zell, standing petrified as Squall barked orders to him. Selphie and Irvine, the two most cheerful people he knew, forlorn and weary at the funeral. Quistis crying at the funeral, next to a stone-faced Seifer. Edea crying, being comforted by a Cid that wasn't even able to contain his own tears. Xu crying. Hordes of other SeeDs and Garden students weeping.

_So many sad faces_, came a voice from nowhere in particular.

Squall nodded, figuring that he was beginning to dream. "Yes. And they're all my fault."

"Squall, please don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault."

_That voice…Rinoa?_ He looked up, and his jaw dropped when he saw his wife standing there in front of him, looking very much alive. She was in her SeeD uniform, the same outfit she was wearing when she died. Her body had a white glow at its edges, as if she were standing between Squall and the sun.

"Hello, Squall. I've missed you so much." Her hands hung at her sides, and her head tilted to her left, a sad smile on her face.

"R…Rinoa…" Squall said, standing up. "Is this…a dream?"

"That depends on what you'd call a dream, my love."

Squall lunged forward, attempting to wrap his arms around Rinoa. Instead, he passed right through her, as if she were only a warm breeze. Squall barely stopped himself from crashing to the carpet, grabbing onto a chair for leverage. He looked at his hands for a second, and then back at Rinoa. She turned to face him, her smile melting into a frown.

"Squall, I'm only partly here," she whispered. Her words seemed to echo slightly, as if she were in a large cavern.

"Rin? No, this can't be real. I have to be hallucinating. I've been losing too much sleep. That's it." Squall backed away from her, literally falling into the chair he had leaned on seconds before.

"It's a long story, Squall, but I _am_ here," she said. "I wish I could touch you. At least I can see you, and you can see me."

"It can't be, can it? Are you really here?" Squall stared at Rinoa as he shakily rose to his feet.

Rinoa nodded and hugged herself. Her eyes reflected the sadness she had felt in the eternity since she'd left their world, only to be trapped before crossing into Heaven.

Squall approached her, looking deeply into her eyes. As he neared her, her form began to waver and become slightly translucent. Squall gasped when he saw it, but calmed when her appearance stabilized.

"Rinoa? Are you okay? What…what is this? What's _happening_ to you?" he asked.

"That would take a lot of time to explain. Time I don't have. Quisty…she'll be able to tell you."

Squall nodded slowly, and lifted his hands to Rinoa's face. He held them against where her skin would be, to a least mimic that he was able to touch her.

Rinoa smiled again as a tear dripped out of her eye. "I like that jacket, Squall. This is the first time I've seen you wear it since it got it for you. What happened to your old one?"

Squall closed his eyes, begging himself to not bring up the images from his memory. As if responding on-cue, they returned to him in full-force. Squall shivered uncontrollably as he spoke. "I was wearing it when I…visited you…your…body in the Infirmary. I got your blood all over it, and I j-just didn't want to have it cleaned. A big part of me died that day, and I guess I just wanted to let it go. It hurt too much." He drew his arms into his chest in an attempt to calm himself.

"Squall. My dear, sweet husband," Rinoa said, tears streaming from her eyes, "I hope the part you lost will be coming back with me. With Quisty's help, I can come back and see you like this. Hopefully soon I'll be able to spend longer with you."

Squall opened his eyes and looked into Rinoa's. The last time he had seen that look on her face, the two of them were lost in Time Compression. He had just regained consciousness after being stranded in a temporal wasteland, and Rinoa had used her power to bring them back to the flower field near Edea's house. Her face had been a mix of grief and joy; grief from believing he had died, and joy after seeing that she had revived him. Minutes later, they had met their friends, all very much alive, and returned to Garden.

_But she's not coming back_, he thought. _Not for real._ "Lexie misses you so much. So do I." At the reminder of his daughter growing up motherless, Squall's emotional wall cracked open, allowing a family of tears down his cheeks. "Why didn't you come back again at the orphanage, or when we were in Esthar? I...we needed you then, more than ever. Why?"

Rinoa shook her head. "I tried. But I have to rely on Quistis if I'm to return to this world, so I can't go very far away from her."

Squall lowered his eyes. He understood. The last time she'd appeared to him, Garden was still parked near the orphanage, where he was staying. Garden had returned to Balamb the next day, tearing Rinoa away from Squall once again.

"I want to see Lexie, before I go," Rinoa begged.

"Go? You…you have to leave again?"

Rinoa shook her head. "I can't stay here much longer. I'll be able to come back again soon. I promise."

As Rinoa turned to head into Alexa's room, she kept her watery gaze on Squall. When she finally turned her eyes away, Squall followed her. She walked into Alexa's bedroom, making no sound as she strode across the carpet and through the closed door. Squall pushed the door open behind her slightly, just enough to see her shimmering form standing over Alexa's bed.

"Lexie, sweetie," Rinoa cooed, wiping her eyes. "Lexie, it's me."

Squall heard his daughter stir in her bed. After a gentle yawn, he heard her say, "Mommy? I knew you'd come back."

As Squall eavesdropped on the conversation, he was suddenly reminded of Alexa's dream from a week before, during their first night at Laguna's home. She'd told him that Rinoa was trapped somewhere between Heaven and Earth, and that, somehow, Quistis was responsible. At the time, he'd given her "vision" a little credit, but he later believed that was because of his physical and emotional exhaustion.

Now, however, it wasn't just plausible. As much as Squall had tried to tell himself it couldn't be true, here was Rinoa, speaking to Alexa. Now his only fear was that this was all an elaborate dream, one that would rend his heart in two once he awoke.

"Lexie," he heard Rinoa's voice again, "I have to leave now. I'll be back to see you soon, okay?"

Alexa sniffled. "No, Mommy, please don't go. I miss you, Mommy."

The pain in Rinoa's voice was definite, and it tore Squall's heart in half to hear it. "I promise I'll be back. I never broke a promise to you, and I won't break this one. Goodbye, love." Her voice faded away into the air. 

Squall suddenly became very aware of the ambient noises of Garden. The resonant hum of the gravity rings that operated even when Garden was on the ground. The air handling system that constantly circulated fresh, comfortable air into every room. The humming of the wall clock in the living room.

They were sounds he hadn't noticed before, until the cold absence of voice made them eerily apparent. The absence of _Rinoa's_ voice. As it had the night of her death, his mind wandered, contemplating all the things that would never be the same without Rinoa there to share in all his joy, frustration, contentment, and anger. The only difference this time was the glimmer of hope that somehow, _some way_, she was going to return.

His thoughts were disturbed by the light sobbing coming from Alexa's room. It sounded as gentle and fragile as the cooing of a dove, and once again forced open the floodgates that had again tried holding Squall's emotions in check. He stepped into the room and stood over Alexa's bed, locking gazes with his daughter as she wiped water from her cheeks. She held out her arms in a silent plea, and Squall gladly lifted her up, hugging her tightly, crying with her.

"Will Mommy really come back?" the young Sorceress asked.

"If she promised, then she will," Squall said, trying hardest to convince himself. _If she promised…_ he thought.

_I promise,_ echoed the familiar, gorgeous voice in his mind.

_Don't leave us alone,_ he begged the voice.

_Sleep well, my darlings. I'll be back._

"Daddy, did you hear her just now?"

Squall blinked, and took a deep breath. How long had he been daydreaming? _Was_ he daydreaming? "Yeah, I heard Mommy. You were right."

"I want her back, Daddy." Alexa laid her head on his shoulder.

"Me too, Lexie. Me too."

*   


Quistis stood in the Crossroad, watching as Rinoa faded back into view. She saw a glimmer in the younger woman's eye; an unshed tear that betrayed both her newfound hope and her quiet despair.

"Thank you, Quisty," said Rinoa, sitting down on the ground. She hugged her knees to her chest and rocked slightly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you hold on longer," said Quistis. "I'm still really new with these powers."

"Don't be sorry, Quisty," said Rinoa, glancing up at her friend. "I got to talk to Squall and Lexie again, and I'm not going to give up until I can stay with them forever." She looked down and studied her booted feet.

Quistis sat down next to the apparition. For a second, neither spoke, listening only to the sounds of the gentle metaphysical chimes ringing through the dimension that existed outside the living world. Finally, Quistis put an arm around Rinoa's shoulder. Much to her delight, she was able to touch Rinoa as if both were sitting together in the real world. Rinoa felt warm to her touch, as the aura that surrounded her penetrated through Quistis' sleeve.

Rinoa finally looked back at Quistis and smiled. "This must be pretty hard for you," she said. "When I first got my powers from Edea, I was so afraid of what would happen to me and the ones I love. All of you helped me realize that I had nothing to worry about, because I had the most wonderful friends a girl could ask for." She looked away and hung her head. "I shouldn't have kept my secret from you. I wasn't a very good friend, was I?"

"Don't say that, Rinny," said Quistis, hugging Rinoa's shoulder. "You were afraid of what the world would do to you and anyone that knowingly protected you. You were more worried about our safety than anything else. But, we would have done everything in our power to protect you, if your fears had come true. You're one of us. You've been since the time we tried to…uh…"

Rinoa knew what she meant, and finished the sentence. "…since the first time we were together in Deling City? Thank you. I know that you and I had words then, but I was really glad that we made up. You were right, I didn't take things seriously enough. But then, when I got my powers, everything changed. I started having these strange feelings, like hundreds of years of experiences creeping in on my mind. I felt so much different. By the time I had absorbed Adel's powers, I was already feeling much older, and not carefree like I was before. Edea explained that the powers carry echoes of past Sorceresses. Not enough to even feel like you've led a past life, but enough to quickly become mentally and emotionally mature, even if you're a seventeen-year-old spoiled brat. And don't say I wasn't," Rinoa continued, interrupting Quistis' attempted argument. 

Quistis' closed her mouth slowly, giving up on her argument, and nodded. "To be honest, we did notice a change in you since we got back from Time Compression. We figured that since you'd literally been to hell and back, unlike you'd ever been before, that you'd come to appreciate how serious things can be, and that you'd…well, grown up. I can't believe I just said that."

Rinoa chuckled. "It's okay, Quisty. Really. I changed for the better. I learned how much of a struggle you all have gone through your whole lives, and that you didn't get a chance to be like regular teenagers because the whole world depended on you. The more time I spent with you, the more I realized not only that you had a true purpose, but when I was with you, I had one too. If I had it all to do over, I would have done everything the same. Except, I think I would have told you all the truth about my powers. You deserved to know."

Quistis looked away into the mist and thought for a second. Her biggest hang-up about her powers had been the fact that Rinoa didn't want everyone to know about them, when they had belonged to her. Now, it felt to her as if Rinoa were basically giving her permission to tell their friends.

Rinoa tilted her head. "Quisty?"

Quistis nodded to herself. "I'm going to tell them, Rinny. Not right now, but sometime soon."

Rinoa smiled lightly. "I figured you would."

"I can't imagine how difficult it was, keeping all the worry and anxiety to yourself." Quistis squeezed her trembling hands together.

Rinoa's head bobbed gently on her shoulders as she half-agreed with Quistis. "I did have Squall and Edea. They both were a great help. But…I don't know…I guess when you're going through that kind of thing, you can really use all the help you can get."

Quistis rocked herself and smiled hesitantly. "Yeah."

"Squall's going to come see you very soon," Rinoa said. "You know how much he cares for you. He's confused right now, but after he's had time to sort things out, and I'm able to be around more, he'll probably be able to give you, and Seifer, the most help you could hope for."

Just then, a dull knocking penetrated the calm Crossroad. Quistis felt her perception slip, as if she had suddenly become drunk. "I…do you think that's him now?"

Rinoa nodded. "Probably. I told him he should come see you, although I forgot to say he should let you sleep."

Quistis shrugged, her thoughts becoming more distant every second. "He wouldn't let a little thing like sleep get between you and him." She gave a wide smile to Rinoa. Rinoa's face burst into its own smile, and she giggled quietly.

Quistis began to fade from view. Just before she vanished completely, Rinoa called, "I'll be here, Quisty. See you soon."

"Bye, Rinny. I promise…I'll be…back…soon…" Her words became slurred as she faded away into the nothingness surrounding them

Rinoa clutched her knees to her chest and propped her chin on them. Now, she had nothing to do but to practice, and to wait.

*   


Quistis' eyes opened as she felt Seifer tapping her on the shoulder. It took her a moment to remember where she was. _I was really back in the Crossroad, in my dream,_ she thought.

"Quisty, babe," said Seifer, patting her shoulder, "Someone's at the door. I need to get up for a second and tell 'em to go away."

Quistis quickly remembered that she was laying in Seifer's lap, and that he was quite immobilized with her on top of him. She yawned and said, "No, Seifer, let Squall in. He wants to talk to me, I bet."

Seifer raised an eyebrow. "You know it's him?"

"Rinoa was pretty sure it's him," she replied, trying to push herself up into a sitting position. Seifer helped her a little, but she was able to do most of it under her own power.

"So," he said, "you were talking to her again? In your dream?"

"Yeah," answered Quistis. "She and I must be closely linked."

Seifer nodded, and then stood up. "Well, better let the Commander in before he breaks a hole in the door." He walked away from Quistis' quiet giggle toward the door and opened it.

Surely enough, there stood Squall, bags under his bloodshot eyes, but otherwise looking healthy. He had thrown his blue jacket over clothes that looked as if they were slept in several nights in a row.

Squall looked at Seifer and froze. _Shit, what do I do now?_ "Seifer," he started, hesitantly. "Is…is Quistis…awake?"

Seifer almost smirked at the smaller man's discomfort. _He doesn't know that I know,_ he thought. "Yeah, come on in. She's waiting for you." As much as Seifer wanted to help Squall, he couldn't help but feel a bit of resentment against the SeeD Commander. Squall was what had, indirectly, caused his whole world to turn upside-down in only a few days' time.

Squall nodded, pretending he understood Seifer's reply. He stepped inside and saw Quistis sitting on the sofa. 

As he walked toward the chair opposite her, Seifer grabbed his gunblade from the corner and said, "I think I'm going to hit the Training Center. I'll let you two sort things out."

Quistis looked up at him, and thought she saw a flicker of pain in his eyes. When she tried to find it again, however, she only saw the supportive expression of a loving husband. "Thanks, Seifer," she said. "Have fun."

Once Seifer had disappeared out the door, Squall said, "Sorry, Quisty. I hope I didn't…"

Quistis held up a hand. "Before you put yourself on a guilt trip, he already knows. About my powers, about Rinoa, everything."

Squall crossed his arms, visibly relieved. "Oh."

Quistis sighed. "You don't have to wait for an invitation to sit down, you know. Be at home."

Squall nodded lightly and sat down in the chair. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, in his customary slouch.

Quistis looked away, unsure what to say next. The last time she'd seen him, she ran away out of fear. Fear of the moment where she had to explain how she was channeling his dead wife. That wasn't the kind of thing you could easily explain to a widower.

Squall was likewise at a loss for words. He had planned so many things to say to his former Instructor, so many questions, yet he couldn't make his mouth operate to properly vocalize them.

Quistis was the one to finally break the awkward silence. "So, Squall, I'd imagine you have a lot of questions."

"Yeah," Squall said. _And I can't think of a damn one right now._

"That's…a nice jacket," Quistis uttered, trying to break the ice. "I was with Rinoa when she got it for you."

"Mmhmm," Squall said, rubbing his arm. _Why's everyone so concerned with my clothes? Enough with the small talk, Quist._

"Well, why don't I start?" asked Quistis, detecting Squall's distaste for her flattery. "I guess I'll tell you how we think everything happened, from my perspective."

Squall's silence indicated to her that he agreed.

Quistis started, "When I was with Rinoa in the Infirmary, just before she passed away, she pulled my spirit into a place she calls the 'Crossroad', a place between life and afterlife. There she told me the truth about her powers, and asked me…asked me to help you move on without her."

Squall shifted in his seat, becoming more nervous about Quistis' relaying of her experience.

The Instructor continued, more quietly, "Then she passed her powers onto me. While that was happening, though, I somehow subconsciously pulled her back from the afterlife, and trapped her in the Crossroad. The only way she can communicate with the living world is through me and my powers."

Squall leaned back in his chair, feeling his spine sigh with relief as he allowed it into a more natural position. "'None of us can make it alone'," he said, seemingly transfixed with a spot on the wall to Quistis' left.

"What?"

Squall looked at Quistis. "Rinoa told me that the first time she spoke to me. After she died, I mean. The night of the funeral. It was something you told me once, too."

Quistis stroked her chin as she studied Squall's expression. For the first time in a very long time, she truly could not read his feelings through his face. Even when she was his instructor, and he was perpetually morose and aloof, she could tell when he was getting shy, annoyed, or even contented. Now, however, he was totally opaque.

Squall continued, in an even tone, "She reminded me that I needed you, all of you, because I couldn't make it alone. Being a lone wolf nearly destroyed me when I was a teenager. When I saw you the next morning, I wanted to talk to you, to let you know I didn't blame you, and…and how sorry I was that you had to lose your friend right in front of your eyes…"

"Squall," Quistis interrupted.

Continuing unabated, Squall said, "…but you ran off, and even Edea wouldn't tell me the truth as to why. Now I know."

Quistis sighed. Squall's voice had an edge of anger in it, but his eyes were now simultaneously sympathetic and desperate. Taking a deep breath, Quistis said, "I didn't know what to do. I was scared about what was happening to me, just with becoming a Sorceress. Then, when I found out I was channeling Rinoa's spirit, I just couldn't handle it. I especially couldn't handle talking to you, because I didn't want to make you constantly relive your pain." She closed her eyes, again feeling tired. "I didn't mean to make you angry."

Squall opened his mouth, and then closed it again. _Was I angry at her? I don't think so. Just confused, wasn't I?_

Quistis opened her eyes, resuming her recount of the situation. "Rinoa is working on being able to stay in this world longer, so she can spend more time with you. I think she's hoping to find a way to stay here permanently, although I…honestly don't know how. If I loan her some of my powers, she can stay a bit longer, and appear to you while you're awake, but doing that wears both of us out."

Squall leaned forward again, his tired back protesting the motion. "Rinoa took some time to get used to her powers. After a while, she didn't even feel the exertion."

Quistis tilted her head. "Maybe."

Squall sighed, not wanting the conversation regress into silence. "Well, anyway, one thing I came here to say was that I have a pretty good idea what you're going through. And… I want to say that if you need anything, don't hesitate to call on me."

Quistis stared blankly at him for a moment, thensmiled. _If this were anyone but Squall, I'd think he had an ulterior motive in wanting to help me._

Squall stood up, drawing in a deep breath as he did so. "Well, I'm going to head back home. Lexie had a chance to talk to Rinoa, too, and I wouldn't be surprised if she's woken herself up crying again." 

Quistis nodded. She moved to get up, but the sudden motion made her head spin. _Damn. I'm tired._

"Here," Squall said, offering his hand. Quistis accepted it, and Squall pulled her into a standing position. "You should probably take a nap."

"Yes, Mother," Quistis quipped, chuckling. To her great surprise, Squall responded with a small half-smile. Nodding, he started for the door.

"Just one thing, Squall," Quistis said. "Come here, please."

Squall returned to her and looked in her face. He was unexpectedly struck by the beauty of the woman in front of him. Not more beautiful that Rinoa, certainly, but with a definite comeliness all her own. 

Quistis leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss on Squall's cheek. Squall looked at her with surprise, and placed his hand on the spot that her lips had touched.

"Thank you for your concern," she said. "I will need your help, just because I'm still so very scared for myself and my baby. But I promise you I'll do everything I can to get you and Rinoa back together again, permanently."

Then, Squall gave an expression she never remembered seeing on his face. He was smiling widely, with tears forming up in his eyes.

"Thank you, Quisty. You are such a good friend. Rinoa always loved you a lot, and I can see why."

Quistis looked away, suddenly feeling very shy seeing the tears of her Commander. 

"Tell Seifer I said thanks, too," Squall said, breaking the silence before it could begin. "And also, that if he needs someone to talk to, about being the husband of a Sorceress and all, he can come to me. I promise I won't tell Zell if he cries."

Quistis laughed out loud, then quickly stifled it. She nodded and replied, "I will."

Without another word, Squall walked out of the apartment and closed the door behind him. Quistis stood there, staring at the door for a few minutes. Finally, she headed toward the bedroom, feeling a large weight lifting from her chest.

*   


Squall sat at his desk, sorting through yet another pile of paperwork. Zell had done his best to handle Squall's workload while he was gone, but in these six days since he'd returned from bereavement leave, he'd had to catch up on more work than he'd remembered doing in the previous month. He adjusted the front of his black uniform, also managing to scratch a persistent itch on his chest.

_This is why I never used to wear this uniform_, he thought. _Damn thing itches like crazy._

His desktop pager chimed. Pressing the button, he said, "Yes?"

"Instructor Markson is reporting as ordered, sir," came Bowler Fisk's voice.

"Send her in," said Squall. _I hope this is the right thing to do_, he thought as he shoved the papers to one side of his desk. He quickly buttoned the top of his uniform jacket, straightening it.

His door slowly opened, and a redheaded woman's head poked in. "C-Commander?"

"Come in, Instructor," said Squall, standing up straight.

The woman stepped in nervously and closed the door behind her. She stood at attention for a few seconds before approaching Squall's desk, hesitantly. As she marched toward him, she did her best to avoid looking at him. After their previous encounter, she was scared to death of the man.

"Sit down, Laceel," ordered Squall, gesturing to the chair at the front of his desk. Her hands shaking, Markson lowered herself into the seat. Squall also sat down, his hands folded on the desk in front of him.

With a heavy sigh, Squall started, "Instructor, I want to…apologize, for the way I treated you after the incident involving Instructor Leonhart. What I said to you was not only inappropriate, it was dead wrong." Squall paused for a second. Apologies were always difficult for him, especially those going out to someone he wasn't very close with. "I understand Headmaster Cid gave you a reprimand on your record, and allowed you to continue teaching, after taking the training course on emergency procedures." He raised her eyebrows at her, indicating he expected a confirmation from the young woman.

Slowly, Markson nodded. Some color had returned to her face, but she was still on edge, unsure what else the Commander had in store for her.

"I don't blame you anymore," Squall said. "At the time, I was…angry, and…upset…" _Damn, I hate sharing my feelings like this_, "but after I've had time to look at the situation, you made a mistake that anyone else could have made. This probably doesn't mean anything to you, but I just want to say…I'm sorry. You've been a good Instructor, and a great asset to the children of Garden."

Markson blinked at Squall's sudden tenderness. Moments earlier, she'd feared he would pull out his gunblade and cleave her in two. Instead, he'd done the one thing she'd never imagined he'd do. Apologized sincerely. Her lower lip trembling, she whispered, "Thank you, sir."

Squall nodded, trying to adopt the least threatening look he could. "Now, I'm sorry to rush you out, but I still have a lot to catch up on from my…absence. If there's nothing you need to talk to me about…?"

Markson shook her head slightly. 

"Dismissed, Instructor. Have a good day."

Markson stood from her seat and looked at Squall for a second, half expecting him to, once she turned her back, morph into a monster and gut her with razor-sharp claws. She did an about-face and, when she found her intestines were still inside her abdomen, she walked briskly toward the door.

Once Markson had closed the door behind her, Squall leaned back in his chair and undid the top two buttons of his uniform jacket. He rubbed his left temple and closed his eyes.

"You did that very well, Squall."

Squall's heart leapt in his chest, and he spun his chair around. There stood Rinoa's ghostly apparition, her hands folded behind her back, and her mouth smiling widely at him. "I knew you were made for this Commander thing, dear."

"Rinoa," said Squall as he stood up. He resisted the urge to reach out and embrace her, for he knew he would get nothing but air in his arms. "God, it's so good to see you."

Rinoa giggled. "You're acting like you haven't seen me in a week."

"I haven't," Squall murmured.

"Oh, yeah…sorry," Rinoa sighed. "I can't tell how time passes from the Crossroad."

"Now that I know what it's like to not have you here, I want you all the more," said Squall, absently fiddling with the buttons on his jacket. "How are you doing?"

"Better," answered Rinoa. "Quisty's running a study hall now, so she thought it would be good to send me some of her power so I could come see you."

Squall sighed and looked Rinoa over. She was there. She was really there, looking at him, talking to him. It seemed more than he could have ever hoped for. 

"Rinoa…Rin…" Squall started, his mind jumbled with the words he wanted to say.

Rinoa smiled. "I know, sweetheart, I know."

"No, you don't," said Squall. "I…I took you for granted, Rin. I mean, I tried to spend time with you and Lexie, but I always got too busy with work. I should have tried harder to spend time with you. You deserved more than I gave…I'm sorry…"

"Squall, don't say that!" said Rinoa, stepping forward until her face was less than an inch from his. "You love me and Lexie, and you always showed us that you did. But you have responsibilities to Garden and SeeD, too. Although I always wanted to be able to spend more time with you, I never felt shortchanged by you."

Squall felt the strange sensation that he was speaking to a communication device, not a woman. Although her mouth was less than an inch away from his face, he felt no breath from her mouth when she talked. It was an eerie reminder that Rinoa was no longer of this world.

"Do you really mean that?" asked Squall.

"Yes, with all my heart," said Rinoa. She raised a hand to Squall's face. She held it in position so close to his cheek that it looked as if she were actually touching it.

Squall likewise raised his hand, holding it in position over Rinoa's cheek. He saw her smile, and smiled back. 

_Can you hear me?_ came her voice in his head.

_Yes, I can_, he replied, feeling great relief wash over him. _God, I've missed hearing you in my mind._

They stood there in silence, staring into each other's eyes, communicating without words, or even thoughts. Their feelings spoke volumes. Time stopped for them, as each bathed in the other's presence.

"Squall? Hey, Squall, what are ya doing?"

Squall snapped out of his love-induced trance and dropped his hand in shock, passing it right through Rinoa's shoulder. He spun around to see Zell, in his uniform, standing there with a confused look on his face.

"Hey, Squall…what were you just doing?"

"Uh…nothing…" Squall said, his eyes wide but his brows furrowed.

Zell raised his eyebrows. "Dude, ya look like you've just seen a ghost!"

Squall stammered a reply, but couldn't find anything believable to say. He was surprised that Zell hadn't seen Rinoa. Maybe she'd ducked down behind his desk…

Squall looked behind him, and saw nothing but air between him and the window. Outside, the sun shone brightly through the clouds, sending beams of light into the office.

"I…I was just…" Squall turned back to Zell. "I was just…thinking, that's all."

"Oh," said Zell, scratching the back of his head. "Oh. Well, anyway...uh...I figured ya'd want these, it being the end of the month and all." He held out a stack of papers about two inches thick.

"Great, more paperwork. Annual reviews, right?" Squall took the papers and began flipping through them as casually as he could.

"Yeah," said Zell. "Look, I, uh…I'm pretty much done with that stuff ya gave me, so I can take care of those if ya want. You just gotta sign 'em later."

Squall raised his eyebrow. "You finished the entire stack. In just two days?"

Zell dug his hands into his pockets and walked around, sheepishly. "Well, to tell ya the truth…no. But I…just thought you could use the help, since you're still trying to get caught up and all."

Squall gave Zell a small smile, and held out the stack. "If you really want them, you can have them."

"All right!" said Zell, eagerly snatching the papers from Squall's hand. Then, realizing that he'd just accepted another three days' worth of work, corrected, "I mean, uh, I'll get them done as quick as I can, sir!"

Squall chuckled at Zell's attempted formality. "Anything else for me, _Deputy Commander_?" he asked, putting emphasis on Zell's title.

"Nope, that's it, I think. _Commander_." said Zell, smiling. He gave Squall a quick salute, which Squall returned. Then, he rushed out of the office and slammed the door behind him.

"That was close," came a female voice from behind him. Squall spun around to find Rinoa standing there, again less than an inch away from him. He flinched reflexively.

"What happened to you?"

Rinoa shrugged. "When I heard his voice, I pulled back so I wouldn't be visible. Lucky he didn't see me before that."

"Yeah, lucky" said Squall, once again captivated by Rinoa's deep brown eyes. He once again allowed himself to become lost in her presence, the world around them fading away into the wind.

*   


Zell stood outside the office, holding the stack of performance reviews. He stared down at the papers, but his mind was focusing on what he'd seen moments before. 

"Um, can I help you, sir?"

Zell turned his head to see Bowler Fisk at his desk, eyeing Zell with a confused look on his face.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Is there something wrong, sir?"

Zell shook his head. "Nah, nothing wrong. Everything's good. Yeah, good."

Fisk blinked at him for a second. Then, shrugging, he turned his attention back to his terminal screen.

Zell stepped into the elevator. Once the doors closed, he crossed his arms and blew out of his lips, making a loud raspberry in the closed elevator car. His thoughts drifted back to Squall.

_What was that behind him?_ he thought. _It looked like…no, it couldn't have been. Maybe…a hologram? _

He shook his head. _Nah, Squall may miss her, but he's not like obsessed or anything. He wouldn't go that far._

_Would he?_


	17. Chapter 16: Ghost Story

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, SquareSoft owns the rights, this story is not authorized by them, etc.

  
  
  


Chapter 16: Ghost Story  
Setting: Balamb Garden, Third Floor  
One Month Later

  
  


Squall stepped out of his office, a confused look on his face. As he walked toward Cid's door, Bowler looked up from his desk and said, "Go right in, sir."

Squall glanced at the young man and raised an eyebrow. _Whatever,_ he thought. The longer SeeD Bowler Fisk spent as Cid's assistant, the more cocky he was becoming. It would be getting on Squall's nerves, if he'd actually cared. Without a word, he opened Cid's door and stepped inside.

Cid was sitting behind his desk, which was situated next to the elevator leading up to the bridge. When he saw Squall, he stood up tiredly. 

Squall glanced up at the platform, and was surprised to see no one was there. As they were currently cruising across the ocean toward Galbadia, Squall did not expect to the controls unmanned.

Cid, noticing his concern, said, "It's okay, I had Nida put it on autopilot and take a break. He won't be back until we're done."

Squall nodded, and walked up to Cid's desk. He saluted his superior, saying, "You wanted to see me, sir?"

Cid nodded. "Sit down, son."

Squall sat in the chair a bit stiffly. Cid's summons had been...strange, to say the least. He hadn't said what was going on, and had actually sounded very uncomfortable even speaking to him at all. _And Garden flying without a pilot, so we could have privacy. Somehow,_ Squall thought, _I have a bad feeling about this._

Cid sat into his seat as he exhaled. Or, perhaps it was a heavy sigh, Squall wasn't sure. Hesitantly, Cid started, "Squall, there have been some...strange rumors floating around Garden. They've been brought to my attention, and I wouldn't even mention them to you, except that so many people have been saying..." Cid removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I can't even believe I'm speaking to you about this."

"What? What is it?" Squall leaned forward, frowning.

"Squall, people have been seeing...I don't know...strange things lately. Actually, one strange thing, but over and over again. I know this is probably a touchy subject with you, considering what's happened to you in the past couple months but...Squall, we've had complaints...of people seeing a ghost."

Squall practically jumped in his chair. His eyes widened. _Oh my God...they're seeing Rinoa!_

Cid raised his eyebrows at Squall's reaction. "Squall, are you all right? I haven't even told you whose ghost it was."

"I can guess," said Squall in a low voice, sinking back into the chair.

Cid nodded and put his glasses back on. "I've had probably seven reports of it since the end of last month. Seven times, people have sworn they've seen your...seen Rinoa, either walking the halls alone, with you, or with your daughter. I know, I know," continued Cid as Squall tried to interrupt, "they're mistaken. That is, unless...Squall, you haven't been using a holographic projector, have you?"

Squall knitted his brow and stiffened in the seat. "No, sir! I...I miss her, but I wouldn't do anything like that."

Cid nodded again. "I didn't think so. You doing something like that, that would mean...well, you can guess what that would mean. I'm glad that's not the case, though. At any rate, if these rumors are causing you any problems, you know you can always talk to me. Or Doctor Kadowaki."

Squall looked away. Cid was trying to be diplomatic, but he was essentially claiming Squall would become neurotic over this. Or maybe even _psychotic. Then again,_ thought Squall, _I could always tell him the truth. Then he really_ would _think I'm psychotic._

"Squall? Is everything all right?"

Squall straightened up and made eye contact with Cid. "Yes, sir. I'm fine."

Cid examined the young man top to bottom. Squall shifted slightly in his chair, becoming even more uncomfortable under the older man's gaze.

"Ok, then," Cid finally replied. "Dismissed."

Squall stood and, after saluting the Headmaster, walked briskly out of the office. He was slightly concerned that his quick pace would catch the older man's attention, but he didn't care. He just needed to go somewhere quickly and think. They were going to have to do something about this. Soon.

Squall rushed back into his office and, after locking the door behind him, reclined on the sofa against the wall. He rubbed his temples, attempting to massage his brain into action.

"Hey, Squall!"

Squall looked up and saw Rinoa standing over him, her hands folded behind her back, and a big grin on her face. Her form shimmered as it always had during her visits to the living world. Squall managed a weak smile and nodded, before lowering his head again.

"Squall," Rinoa said, her grin fading. "What's wrong?"

Squall sighed. _How am I gonna say this without sounding accusing?_

"Squall, I know you can hear me," said Rinoa, her voice picking up in volume. "What is wrong?"

"People have been seeing you," Squall muttered.

Rinoa stopped cold. She stared at Squall, struck completely mute. If she'd had a body, her heart would have skipped a beat and her face grown hot. _No! How could they have...?_

"Have you been wandering around Garden or something?" asked Squall, his arms crossed.

"Well..." hesitated Rinoa. "Yes, I have. But...I mean, I can't just stay in the Crossroad all the time. I want to be with you and Lexie. And when I can't, I just want to be at home. In Garden. Someplace that's familiar and warm..."

Squall's expression changed from concerned to sympathetic. _I don't blame her, I just wish she'd be more careful, is all._ "I don't mean I don't want you to be here, I just...Rin, I thought you couldn't be visible unless Quisty was helping you."

"I didn't think I _was_ visible, Squall," she replied, kneeling down next to him. Her left knee passed through one of the sofa's legs. "I don't know what's going on, unless Quisty's been doing it without telling me."

Squall looked deeply into her eyes, and was again struck by the desperate desire to hold his wife in his arms. "Maybe she's...practicing, or something?"

"Maybe," Rinoa whispered. She could well see the desperation in Squall's eyes, veiled behind his sympathy. 

"I'll go ask her when she's done with her class."

Rinoa nodded. "Yeah, she'd probably look crazy talking to thin air. Or worse, imagine if a whole class full of students suddenly saw a dead Instructor talking _back_ to her." She made a spooky whistling sound and held her hands up, pretending she had claws on her fingers. Squall couldn't help but chuckle at her silliness.

Rinoa grinned. "There's that smile."

Squall shook his head, trying to control his quiet laughter. "Seriously, though, we need to figure this out. We don't want everyone finding out about you."

Rinoa's smile drooped into a pout. "Oh...right, of course not." She turned away, staring out the window at the wind-swept grassy fields beyond. Her hands fell limply to her sides, as if in defeat.

"Rinoa?" Squall stood up and tried to move his head around to look at her face. Rinoa turned farther away, her eyes closed.

"Rin, what's...wrong?"

Rinoa sighed and shook her head. "I hope you mean '...besides the obvious.'"

Squall opened his mouth to reply, but his voice seized in his throat. _Why are you so upset all of a sudden?_

"Squall, why would it be so bad if everyone knew about me? At least our friends?"

"I...I..." stammered Squall. _Why_ would _it? I guess I didn't think when I said that._

Rinoa's shoulders shrugged as she drew in a heavy breath. "Squall, I..."

Suddenly, Rinoa's form began to fade from view. Before she could turn around to look at Squall again, she vanished completely. 

Squall gasped. He held his hand out to the spot where she had stood a second before. "Rin?" he said. "Rin, what happened? Are you there? Rinoa!"

The only response was the whistle of a wind gust that seemed to chuckle evilly as it struck the window.

*   


Quistis' pen slipped out of her hand as she felt a chill roll up her spine. She looked up with a start, scanning over the classroom. The students were all engrossed with their homework or whatever web pages they were browsing on their terminals. Several students that she recognized as Trepies immediately looked down when they saw her gaze upon them.

_That's...strange,_ she thought. _I thought I just heard someone cackling in my ear. But nobody left their seats._

She took one more glance around the room, and then looked back down at her work. She normally used these study halls to get ahead, or at least caught up, in her work. When she'd dropped her pen, it drew a line across the page of the term paper she'd been grading. She cursed at herself, picked up the pen, and tried to focus again on the words written on the paper in front of her. She also tried again to direct her energy into channeling Rinoa for her visit to Squall.

_Quistis..._

_Rinny?_ Quistis barely avoided looking up as her mind responded. What she'd expected to be a familiar voice was the gravelly, deep rasping of a very old woman, not the gentle, feminine tones of Rinoa. Its presence froze her down to her very soul.

_Quistis Trepe..._ repeated the voice, louder this time. 

Quistis immediately stood and scanned the room. Several of her students looked up at her in surprise.

"Who has it?" she asked.

There were various questioning murmurs, as no one seemed to know what she meant.

"You know what I mean," she scolded. "Who's got the voice projector? Study Hall is no time for practical jokes. Give it here!" She held out her hand expectantly.

The students looked around at each other, asking who was playing the prank on Instructor Trepe. Many of them looked at one student in particular, a notorious troublemaker. He simply shrugged and said, "Hey, wasn't me!"

Quistis marched toward the back of the room to the student, her nostrils flaring. "Whalen, empty your pockets."

"Instructor, I don't..."

_"Now."_

The freckle-faced, redheaded student named Whalen quickly dug into his pockets and emptied them out onto his desk. He had a pencil, a small notepad, a pack of gum, a few Gil in change, and a wadded-up tissue. For added effect, he turned out his pockets and showed them to Quistis and the rest of the class.

Quistis scowled and checked under Whalen's desk and seat. When she found nothing, she stood back up and projected to the entire class, "Listen, there's a time and a place for childish pranks, but _this is not one_. You may think it's funny to project voices into someone's ear, but until you face off against a nearly omnipotent Sorceress who trifles around inside your head just for fun, _you don't know what kind of damage you could do._ So _knock it off, _whoever's doing it!" She spun on her heel and stomped back to her desk, tiredly dropping herself into the chair and turning her attention back to the paper in front of her.

After some more accusing glances and quiet inquiries to each other, her students gradually returned to their various activities. Whalen stuffed his possessions back into his pockets, making an obscene gesture at one of his fellow classmates that smirked at him.

Quistis stared at the papers on her desk, no longer able to concentrate on them. She had completely forgotten about Rinoa and Squall. Somehow, she wasn't entirely sure that had been one of her students' pranks. Not only had she heard something, but she'd felt something, like she was receiving unwanted touches in an intimate spot.

_I don't feel it any more, though. What..._was _that?_

*   


"Who do you think was pulling that crap on you?" Seifer asked, cradling Quistis' hand in both of his. They emerged from the Cafeteria hallway into Garden proper, which was relatively empty. Midterms were beginning in a few days, and most students were in their dorms or the Library, either studying or procrastinating.

Quistis shrugged. "I'm not totally convinced it was a prank. It felt like...something else..."

"Well, whatever it was, it didn't come back after you stopped using your powers."

"No, it..." Quistis gasped. "Oh, no...I forgot about Rinny and Squall!" When a couple passers-by gave her strange looks, she continued more quietly, "Rinoa was meeting with him, and I was sending her some of my power, like I always do. I completely forgot about that when I...heard the voice."

Seifer sighed. "You know, you think about others a little too damn much. Once in a while, you should worry about what _you_ want, how _you_ feel."

"But I...Seifer, I'm the only thing they have that lets them be together. Without me, they'll be separated forever."

Seifer shut his eyes and shook his head. "You know, you always had the weight of the world on your shoulders. Whether you were a SeeD or an Instructor, you always seemed like you had to be everything to everyone."

"I took on these responsibilities, and there are things I just have to do."

Seifer stopped suddenly, forcing Quistis to stop as well. She turned around and look at him, her brows furrowed and her mouth agape slightly. "There you go again," Seifer murmured. "You're gonna worry yourself into an early grave, you know."

"What? Maybe I..."

From behind Seifer, someone called out. He gritted his teeth and breathed out through them, knowing it was either a Trepie looking for an autograph from Quistis, or it was Squall, the biggest Trepie in Garden, wanting to know why she wasn't working herself to the bone for him.

Seifer spun around, and sure enough, Squall was approaching with Alexa in tow. Seifer had recognized the voice, but was genuinely surprised that the SeeD Commander would shout to _anyone_ while walking in Garden's main corridor.

"Hello, Squall," Seifer greeted, his teeth still clenched. Then, relaxing his jaw, he said, "Hey, Lexie. How are you?"

"I'm okay," replied the little girl. "I get to see Mommy a little later. That's good."

Seifer nodded, knelt down, and tousled the girl's hair. She made a face and attempted to straighten it back out with her hands.

"Hey, Seifer." Squall stepped in, his eyes looking a bit darker than normal. His hair was ruffled and stuck up in some places. His uniform, although still within regulations, looked as if he had run a marathon while wearing it. Seifer was surprised that Squall would even think of going out in public, looking like he did.

"Quistis, I have to talk to you." Squall said, looking over Seifer's shoulder.

Quistis looked at Seifer, then back at Squall. She knew that Seifer was upset with her, and they needed to resolve whatever conflict was boiling up. However, she also needed to talk to Squall about what happened earlier that day; Rinoa had probably vanished on him suddenly when her concentration was broken.

"Actually, Seifer and I..."

"Yeah, sure, ok, go ahead," said Seifer. "Lexie, wanna go to the Quad? There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight. It'll be really cool!" He looked up at Squall, and his expression hardened.

"Okay, cool! Thanks, Uncle Seifer! Is it okay, Daddy?" Alexa looked up at Squall, who shifted his gaze from Quistis down to his daughter.

He glanced quickly at Seifer, who was giving him a cold stare. Looking back down at Alexa, he said, "Sure, Lexie, have fun. I'll come join you soon."

Alexa gleefully took Seifer's hand. As they left, Seifer said, "Enjoy each other's company," his voice laced with daggers. 

"W-wait, Seifer, you don't..." Squall was too late. Seifer had already walked Alexa quickly away toward the Quad, a couple doors down the hall.

Quistis and Squall stared him, perplexed at Seifer's outburst. Squall looked at Quistis, and she leaned her head back, her eyes closed.

"Squall," said Quistis, "I'm sorry, but right now isn't a good time."

"Look, Quist, I'm sorry, but I..."

"Squall, I'm doing the best I can!" Squall jumped as the volume of Quistis' voice rose. "I know you miss Rinoa, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm pregnant, and Seifer and I..." She trailed off, not completing her sentence.

Squall looked down at the floor. If Quistis and Seifer were having problems, he knew it was partly his fault.

"Seifer's been upset a lot lately. I don't know if it's my powers, or what's going on with Rinoa, but..." she sighed heavily, "I just don't know, Squall."

"I'm sorry," Squall murmured. He felt so selfish at that moment. Seifer and Quistis were having trouble because he was demanding so much of her time. He knew that had to be it.

"It's not your...fault," Quistis replied, not able to hide the fact that she actually did blame him, partly. She glanced around them, to see if anyone was approaching. Understandably, it seemed everyone nearby was avoiding getting any closer to the pair. She motioned to one of the benchers lining the hallway, and sat down. "Something happened today. Something strange."

Squall sat down next to her, allowing her about a quarter-meter of personal space. "You know about it too?"

Quistis tilted her head forward and looked at Squall. "Know about what?"

Squall crossed his arms, and lowered his voice to a whisper. "People have been seeing Rinoa around Garden."

Quistis gave a look of genuine surprise. "What?"

Squall nodded. "Cid told me about it today. I think he suspects I've been using a holographic generator or something. He wants me to go see Doctor Kadowaki for a psyche eval."

"He said that?"

Squall scratched the back of his head. "Not in so many words."

"Well, if he has you go to one, I should be next in line." Quistis ran her fingers through her hair and stretched her other arm.

"What do you mean?"

"Today, during the study hall that Rinoa came to see you, I heard some voice calling my name. Deep and rough, like an old woman. I thought one of my students was playing a prank on me, but now they must think I'm losing my mind." Quistis closed her eyes.

"That was when Rinoa suddenly vanished. I couldn't come down and see you about it until now." Squall shifted his attention from the floor to the aqueduct over the railing, his eyes only passing a glance at Quistis.

"Squall, I can't do this anymore."

Squall's eyes shot toward Quistis. His lips wouldn't work, but it was as if his greatest fear were coming true. _Can't do what...?_

"I can't keep this secret anymore. It's killing me, and Seifer, and you, and...and it's hurting my marriage. And I'm still so scared...even if it's just our friends, I have to tell them. Now." Quistis eyes reflected her sudden resolve.

Squall's heart was only beginning to lower from his throat. Taking a deep breath, he nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Want me to go find Zell?"

Quistis shook her head. "First, I want you to call Xu, Selphie, and Irvine, and find out the soonest they can all get here. Tell them it's very important."

It had been several years since Squall had taken orders from Quistis, but he accepted these without hesitation. He stood up and said, "I'll do it now."

Quistis also stood, supporting her back with her hands. "Let's go find Seifer and Lexie first. I really think this is for the best."

*   


"...and then we played some basketball! I tried to score a goal, but the hoop was too high."

Squall closed the apartment door behind himself and Alexa, and shrugged his uniform jacket off his shoulders. As it fell to the floor, he led Alexa to her bedroom.

"Wow, sounds like you and Uncle Seifer had fun."

"Yeah," replied Alexa, "but he was kinda sad. I think he and Aunt Quisty had a fight or something. When she came back and said Aunt Selphie and Uncle Irvine were coming, he was just real quiet."

"Well," said Squall, retrieving Alexa's pink cotton pajamas, "They both have had a lot on their minds, and they just get so tired that they take out their frustration on each other."

Alexa nodded knowingly. "Yeah, Uncle Seifer's trying to be a good knight for Aunt Quisty, but she's having trouble with her powers."

Squall stopped cold. "You...you know about Qui...Aunt Quisty's powers?"

Alexa nodded. "Uh-huh. Mommy gave her powers when she went to the lonely place."

The color drained from Squall's face. _How much does Lexie know about what's going on? Does she understand it all?_

"Daddy, it's okay. Mommy told me some stuff, and I just know the rest." Alexa walked up to Squall and hugged his leg. Squall patted her back.

"How do you 'know'?"

Alexa shrugged. "I dunno. I just do. I asked Mommy, and she said I was right.

Squall sighed. The more he'd desired for his daughter to have a normal life, the less likely it was becoming. 

Alexa took Squall's hand and looked up at him. He looked down into her little brown eyes. She cooed, "Daddy, it's all gonna be okay. I promise." She winked.

Squall couldn't help but laugh out loud. It was supposed to be _his_ job to comfort Alexa, but she seemed to be doing a better job on _him_. "Come on, let me put your pajamas on."

"'Kay."

*   


Squall quietly closed the door to Alexa's room, having read her one of her favorite fairy tales to send her off into slumber. 

"I didn't tell her more than I felt she needed to know. Somehow, she knew just about everything that was going on. I couldn't lie and say she was wrong."

Squall turned and saw Rinoa standing there, her hands folded behind her back. He drunk in her image for a moment then approached her, standing inches away. "She doesn't know what happened today. At least, she hasn't _said_ she knows."

Rinoa nodded. "Quisty told me what happened. I don't know what she's talking about. I never felt anything through her, except that she was getting kind of strung out with all the stress of her work schedule, her pregnancy, her new powers, and...me."

"I think she's actually getting more tired of _me_," Squall replied, rubbing his eyes. "But I need to make a phone call or two. She wants Selphie, Irvine, and Xu here so she can tell them about her powers...and about you."

Rinoa pursed her lips and let her gaze wander toward the floor. She studied Squall's fallen uniform jacket halfheartedly. "I wish I'd never given her my powers. She doesn't deserve all this torture she's going through. I just...I knew I could trust her with them. There was..." she trailed off.

"What?"

Rinoa looked back up at Squall, catching a glimpse of his white uniform shirt, and the lines of his muscle shirt just barely visible underneath. "Nothing. I was just afraid there'd be another Ultimecia or Adel that would try to steal them."

Squall eyed her curiously, but could garner no hint of her reservation. Instead, he said, "I'd better make those calls before it gets too late. Afterward, you want to go for a walk?"

Rinoa smiled, all traces of concern gone from her face. "I'd like that very much, Sir Knight."

*   


The next evening, Selphie, Irvine, and Xu entered Squall's office. Zell was inside, pacing back and forth as Squall stood facing the window, his arms crossed in front of him. Seifer and Quistis sat together in the corner, Seifer speaking quietly to his wife. 

"Hey, guys!" said Selphie, her usual perky self. She ran up to Zell and gave him a fierce hug, nearly throwing him off balance. "What's up?"

"Yeah," said Irvine, in his distinct Galbadian accent. "Why the urgent call? Not that we mind coming to visit, of course."

"Zell, what's going on?" asked Xu, trying to extract Selphie from her embrace. She placed her hand on his shoulder, and he took it in his own hand, shaking his head.

"I dunno. They wouldn't tell me until we were all here." Zell's voice was low, holding back much dread. "Can't be good, though."

Selphie, sensing the tension in the room, stalked over to Squall, who was still facing the window. He was tilting and nodding his head lightly, as if he were holding a conversation with someone. However, he said nothing out loud, and almost completely ignored Selphie's presence.

Finally, he nodded curtly and turned to face everyone else. Everyone except Quistis and Seifer, who were still preoccupied with each other, stared at him expectantly.

"Squall," said Selphie, snapping her finger in front of his face. "Hello, c'mon, what's going on?"

"Yeah, man," said Zell, now standing side-by-side with Xu, and holding her hand supportively. "You're scarin' the hell out of us."

Squall grimaced and tried to wave Selphie's hand from his face. Taking the hint, she stepped away, toward the comfort of her husband. Irvine stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"It's not my news to tell," Squall stated simply, looking over at Quistis and Seifer. They both looked up at him, and Seifer nodded. He helped Quistis out of her chair, and she walked toward the center of the room. Xu, Selphie, and Irvine were surprised, nearly shocked, at how she looked. She had dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, her normally perfect hair was in total disarray, and her skin was deathly pale. They could tell she had not slept in the past couple days.

When Quistis found her voice, it was raspy and low, as if she were afflicted with mild laryngitis. "I have something I want to announce to all of you. Before I do, I just want to say that we didn't want to keep this all from you, because you are our friends, and we trust you with our...our lives..." She faltered for a second, and Seifer rushed to her side. He took her hand and pulled her into his chest. She looked into his eyes gratefully, and nodded.

Quistis took a deep breath, and continued, "You may not believe what I'm about to tell you, but I need you to please keep your minds, and your hearts, open. This has been eating me apart for the past month or so, and I need you all to be there for me."

There were assorted supportive statements from the foursome, all promising to help Quistis however they could. Selphie tried to run up and give Quistis a hug, but Irvine held her back.

Nodding gratefully to them, Quistis said, "Guys, I'm a Sorceress."

The room was eerily silent. Xu, Zell, Irvine, and Selphie stared at Quistis in disbelief. After a few heartbeats, Xu said, "Quisty, are you serious?"

Quistis nodded slowly.

At that moment, they all realized why Quistis had been so tight-lipped with them recently. Zell stole a glance at Squall, who was still off in his own world. _There's more here. Gotta be._

"I need to tell you everything, how it started, and how it is now," started Quistis. She started with Rinoa's hiding of her powers from everyone, and her reasons for doing so. Everyone looked at each other uncomfortably, and Selphie seemed on the verge of tears. They could not help but feel some guilt, even though they had no idea about what Rinoa had been going through.

Quistis then described the events of Rinoa's death, from her own point of view. At several points, she paused to allow Selphie, Xu, and even Zell and Irvine, a moment to compose themselves. Reliving that horrible event, especially through the eyes of the person that was closest to it, was extremely difficult for them. 

Finally, she described Rinoa giving over her powers as she died, and the pain and responsibilities that came with them. Everyone continued staring at her, unsure of what they could say. Finally, Selphie broke the silence by saying, "Quisty, you should have told us earlier! We all love you, and we care about you." She ran over to Quistis and hugged her tightly, giving her a small kiss on her cheek.

Quistis accepted the hug appreciatively. This was a release she'd needed for a long time. "A lot of people in the world don't much like Sorceresses. I, like Rinoa before me, was afraid that if we were found out, you all could be persecuted if you knew about our power. But if you didn't know about it, you'd have plausible deniability."

"Quisty," said Xu, walking up to Quistis. She hugged the Sorceress after Selphie gave her some room. Zell and Irvine approached her, first warily, but then more comfortably as Seifer warmly gestured for them to come closer.

Quistis was so moved by the support of her friends that tears began to stream down her cheeks. The sight of the tears only made everyone embrace her more tightly. Everyone except Squall, that is. Selphie noticed that he was still off in his own little world, having another silent conversation.

"Squall?" she asked. Squall ignored her, continuing to pay attention to his invisible friend.

"There's more," Quistis said, glancing at Squall. Everyone took a few steps back, allowing Quistis some room to breathe. "Please don't be mad at Squall. This has been very tough on him, too."

"Yeah, I can imagine," interjected Zell.

Quistis shook her head. "No, not for the reasons you might think. You see, Rinoa's not gone. Not completely, I mean."

Collective sounds of inquiry filled the room. Quistis continued, uninhibited, "After Rinoa and I parted, and she died, her spirit was pulled into a kind of 'limbo' between our world and the afterlife. She calls it the 'Crossroad'."

"Wait," interrupted Zell. "What do you mean, 'She _calls_ it...'?"

Quistis sighed. _This part will be the hardest to explain._ "I've been in contact with Rinoa since shortly after her funeral. And through me, she's been visiting Squall and Lexie."

They all turned their attention to Squall. Now, he was paying his full attention to Quistis, and nodding slowly.

Everyone became silent again. Their friend Quistis having Sorceress powers was believable, but the ghost of their dead friend visiting? They found that part much more difficult to accept.

Quistis looked at Seifer. When he nodded, she turned back to Squall and said, "Rinoa, I think it's time." She then closed her eyes, as if in deep concentration.

"Yes, I think it is." The four visitors jumped, the new voice having startled them. The voice came from Squall's direction, but it was not his. It was one that none of them ever expected to hear again. 

Squall turned his head to his left, and as he did so, a form shimmered into view. At first, they could tell it was the outline of a person. The person was a good head shorter than Squall and of a relatively petite build. As her image gained clarity, there was no mistaking whom it was that stood before them.

There, looking almost as alive as she had the morning of her death, was the late Rinoa Leonhart. Squall's wife, Alexa's mother, and Balamb Garden Instructor. And their dear friend.

Zell, Xu, Selphie and Irvine stared at her, all totally dumbstruck. After what seemed like hours, the sound of a body hitting the floor echoed across the silent room. Everyone looked down to see that Zell had passed out cold. As Seifer, Irvine, and Xu carried him over to the couch, Selphie walked slowly up to the apparition and asked, "R...Rinny? Can it really...be you?"

Rinoa smiled happily. "Yes, it's me, Sefie. How are you?"

Selphie's mouth dropped open, and more tears immediately began to fall from her eyes. Immediately, she lunged at Rinoa, saying, "Oh, Rinny, it's so..."

She stopped her speech in shock as she fell right through Rinoa and lost her balance. Squall quickly grabbed her arm in his strong grip, keeping her from tumbling to the floor. After he helped her right herself again, she looked Rinoa up and down. She could tell how Rinoa was slightly transparent and shimmering, and could faintly see the other side of the room through the black of Rinoa's uniform.

"I'm not really here," said Rinoa plaintively. "I mean, I am, but I'm not, you know? I'm in the living world at the moment, but I don't have a body. With Quisty's help you can see and hear me, but that's about it."

Irvine walked up behind Selphie, staring at Rinoa. The brunette smiled at the bearded cowboy and said, "Still have the beard, Irvine? It makes you look like you're thirty, you know."

Irvine adjusted his hat, and smirked. "Well, thanks. God, it's so good to see you again. When we found out you'd died, we...we just..." His smirk vanished quickly.

Rinoa nodded. "I know, I know. I wish I could be back with you all, for good. I'm working on it, with Quisty's help."

There was a rustling in the far end of the room. Xu had stirred Zell back into consciousness, and had sat him up on the sofa. He shook his head, clearing out the cobwebs, and looked back up at Rinoa. After staring at her for several seconds, he stood shakily, accepting Xu's helping hand. Together, they walked up toward the ghost.

Zell stopped a few feet in front of her. He stuck out his hand, fingers extended, and tried to touch her shoulder. As his fingers passed through her, he gasped and quickly withdrew his hand. "I...I don't...believe it!" he exclaimed. "Hey, so there really _is_ a ghost at Garden!"

Rinoa tilted her head and giggled. "Yeah, there is. We're still trying to figure out..." She stopped, her smile beginning to melt. _No, they don't need to know that yet._

"What?" asked Selphie.

Rinoa smiled again. "Nothing."

"Rinoa, I don't know how this has happened, but it's so good to have you back!" Xu's eyes filled with tears. "I...I never thought I'd get a chance to say this, and I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm so, so sorry about what happened to you. Trabia Garden is my responsibility, and what happened to you...it was my fault."

"Xu, please," begged Rinoa. "Please don't blame yourself. Squall explained it all to me. It was an accident. It wasn't your fault, or anyone else's. I just want to take the time I have here now, and try to enjoy what I came so close to losing."

Squall listened as Rinoa, Zell, Xu, Selphie and Irvine all engaged in excited conversation, trying to catch up on lost time. As he listened, he felt his heart warm and his anxiety fade slowly away. For the first time in weeks, Squall began to feel normal again. _The gang's all together. And I don't have to live with keeping secrets anymore. Not from my friends._

He glanced over at Seifer and Quistis. They embraced each other, dancing to some unheard music. But he could tell just by how they held each other that they knew they could be happy again. 

Seifer happened to catch Squall watching them. Squall expected so see some flicker of anger or resentment on the elder man's face, but instead saw a grin grow on his lips. Seifer smiled at Squall, and gave him a thankful nod. Squall smiled back, hoping that, from this point on, things would be better between Seifer and Quistis. He also made a mental note to stop bothering them as often.

As he had that thought, it occurred to him that he had almost become as clingy to Quistis as he'd been to Ellone, when he was a child. Once Rinoa was gone, he had nobody on his level that he could talk to. Inwardly, he cursed himself. For all the years of preparing himself to stand alone, he had so quickly reverted to needing another for his own peace of mind. And this time, that person had almost paid the price with their sanity and a failed marriage.

As he stood there, he made a resolution. _I will never be like that again. I will enjoy the company of those I love, but if for some reason I end up alone, I'll live with it like I did all those years before. It's not just to protect myself from pain, now it's to protect those I care about. I'm sorry, Quisty and Seifer._

And as he turned back to his other friends, he was reminded of how much he cared for them, and they him. He knew then that with their help, there was nothing they couldn't accomplish. But even without their help, he would live on and do what was most important to him. He would raise his daughter to be strong and independent, unlike how Squall had been. As he made these decisions, he felt everything in his mind come clear, as it hadn't been for many weeks.

He knew then that things would be different, for the better.


	18. Chapter 17: Acceptance

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and enerything related belongs to SquareSoft. If you didn't know that, check the trademark on your copy of Final Fantasy. If you don't have a copy of Final Fantasy, get one. Got it?

  
  
  


Chapter 17: Acceptance  
Setting: Squall and Rinoa's Apartment, Balamb Garden  
One month later

"And then the Knight got down on one knee in front of his Sorceress and said, 'I will protect you with my life, my Queen. For I love you, and you are as dear to me as my own heart.' 'Is that truly so?' asked the Sorceress. 'Then I shall trust you with my life, and I shall, in turn, protect you with mine.'"

Squall watched from other side of the bed as Rinoa read the story to Alexa, the words scrolling slowly up the screen of the computer as Rinoa read them. Alexa's little brown eyes were half-open, but she still listened intently to her mother's story as she lay in bed, her covers halfway up her chest.

"And with the dragon defeated, the Sorceress and her Knight were married by the town friar. They returned to their beautiful palace in the Forest of Life, where they spent the rest of their lives happily in love. Neither of them ever feared another dragon, because their love was stronger than anything else in the world. The End."

"That was beautiful, Mommy," said Alexa. "Wish that could happen in real life."

Rinoa looked up at Squall, whose small smile fell away into a concerned frown. "It does," said Squall. "Only the beautiful palace is Garden. And we're all here together, aren't we?"

Alexa thought for a second, then smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we are."

Alexa looked into her father's eyes, and as she did so, she felt warmth fill her small body. She was so happy that her mommy and daddy were both with her again. She hoped neither of them would leave her again. Not like in her dreams. _"But that's all that they are, dreams,"_ her father had told her. _"They're not real."_

"Time to go to sleep now, Lexie," said Squall, pulling her blanket up to her chin. He leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the forehead, and patted the top of her head.

As he did that, Rinoa started singing the lullaby, "When Dreamers Dream." Alexa looked over at her mother, and instantly her eyes began to fall shut. Rinoa's angelic tones so gently graced her daughter's bedroom that all other sounds seemed to fall away, everything listening to her singing. Even Squall was captivated by the song, and gazed upon Rinoa as if hypnotized.

When the song was finished, Alexa was fast asleep. Rinoa blew her a kiss, and she and Squall left the room for their own bedroom. Once inside, Squall thought to her, _Sometimes fairy tales do come true._ He sat down on the bed and removed his white shirt.

Rinoa knelt beside him, gazing lovingly into his eyes. _Yeah,_ she replied. _Even through everything that's happened to us, here we are together, a family._ She grinned, showing off her bright white teeth.

Squall nodded. _And then after tomorrow, you'll be back with the Garden family. No more hiding._

_I'm glad for that. As much as I love being with you, Lexie, and everyone, I do miss my students. And I miss teaching them._

Squall nodded again, his smile fading. _What's the matter?_ Rinoa asked.

Squall shrugged. _I'm not totally sure how Cid'll take all this._

Rinoa stood up, placing her face less than an inch from Squall's. _If I know him, he'll be very understanding._

*   


Quistis stood in the elevator with Seifer, nervously tapping her foot. She had donned her maternity uniform, and had meticulously styled her hair, as she had done for years of being an Instructor. Seifer, likewise, wore his uniform underneath his gray trench coat. 

Quistis looked over to Seifer and said, "How's my makeup?"

Seifer smirked and said, "You look beautiful. You're not going in for an inspection, you know."

"I know, I just…I want to make as good an impression before I…you know…break the news."

Seifer placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. "Everything will be fine. Cid's not gonna jump down your throat. Hell, he let _me_ back in here."

Quistis sighed. "I suppose you're right about him. I just can't help being nervous."

The elevator door opened before Seifer could reply. The couple exited onto the third floor, where they saw Squall waiting.

"You know," Squall muttered when they were close to him, "you don't have to do this."

Quistis shook her head. "Yes, I do. If I'm going to tell everyone, then it has to be _everyone._ Headmaster Cid has done so much for me, and I have to come clean with him. I have to tell him. I don't want him finding out on his own." 

Seifer squeezed her shoulder again and murmured in her ear, "He won't kick you out, Quisty. It'll be okay, trust me. With Edea in your corner, you could get out of Hell."

Quistis took his hand and kissed it. Smiling at him, she said, "I believe you. Let's go."

The three of them walked together past Bowler Fisk's unoccupied desk toward Cid's double doors. Squall pushed the doors open, allowing the three SeeDs to enter.

Inside, Cid and Edea were sitting together on the leather sofa, talking quietly. When they heard the door open, they both looked up and smiled.

"Come on in, I hear you want to speak to me," said Cid, holding out a welcoming hand.

"Yes, sir," said Quistis. Seifer pulled her up a chair, and she sat down as gracefully as possible, with her growing abdomen.

"My wife seems to know what you want to tell me, but she's being rather…cagey." He winked at Edea, who smiled warmly. "I take it that this is quite important."

"Yes, sir, it is," replied Quistis. Seifer silently pulled up a chair next to her and sat down. Squall found a nearby chair and sat in it, slouching forward as always.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Cid said, "Well…?"

Quistis sighed. "Maybe Squall should tell you this first part. It's affected him longer than it has me."

Squall looked up in surprise. He had expected to be more of a moral support than actually breaking the news. _Then again, I guess it's only fair, isn't it? I was the first one of us to lie to Cid._

"Squall?" asked Cid. Both he and Edea looked at him expectantly, only Edea knowing what he was to say.

Squall swallowed hard. He felt ashamed, but knew he needed to make his confession. "Rinoa…I…we lied to you…when we said her powers were gone, after Time Compression. She still had her powers, and they weren't affected at all by Ultimecia or Time Compression or anything else. We talked President Loire into having Doctor Odine falsify a report to you, in exchange for him being allowed to examine her once a month." Finished with his monologue, Squall stared at the older man, gauging his reaction.

Cid raised an eyebrow, the mirth almost completely gone from his eyes. After a moment of silence, he turned to Edea and said, "And I assume you knew about this the whole time?"

Edea nodded, holding her head low. As dignified as the woman was, she hated lying, and having to admit such.

Cid nodded, pursing his lips. "I'm glad you finally told me. I was wondering if you ever would."

Everyone audibly expressed their surprise and turned their full attention to the Headmaster. Cid, with mild amusement returning to his features, said, "I knew from the moment Rinoa, God rest her soul, first told me her powers were gone. When she was convincing me to let her enroll in SeeD."

Seifer crossed his arms and smirked. _Damn, I really underestimated this guy._

Quistis' face was frozen in confusion and partially veiled anxiety. She hoped that this would make it easier for him to accept her news.

Squall and Edea both stared at Cid, mouths agape. They had both done their best to conceal Rinoa's secret, but obviously they hadn't done a very good job. Finally, Edea said, "How…?"

"You both thought you could pull one over on me, didn't you?" Cid asked, now smiling. "I could tell, just by how Rinoa's eye contact wavered whenever she mentioned that her powers were sealed. Then, I could see how both of you reacted whenever the issue of Sorceress powers was mentioned. I put two and two together, and figured it out. Actually, it was well before Rinoa's field exam that I added it all up."

"So…so then…" stammered Squall. "So, even though you knew she still had her powers, you still let her become a SeeD?"

Cid shrugged. "Why wouldn't I? I of anybody should know that Sorceress powers are only an attribute of a person, not what makes them who they are. That, and where better to keep an eye on, and protect, a Sorceress than in the ranks of SeeD?"

Edea chuckled. "My God, Cid. For all my years, I never imagined you were quite this clever."

Cid arched his eyebrows. "I'll try not to take that personally. I never told you that in my youth, I was called the 'human lie detector'." He then leaned forward, his expression becoming more serious. "I am, however, disappointed that you, Squall, would lie to me for so long. But, I know you did it for the woman you love. Lord knows I've done worse things for the woman I love."

_Like abandoning Garden during the fight against Ultimecia,_ was what Squall read as the unspoken end to that sentence.

"I can forgive you, as long as you promise to not keep such things from me again. As Headmaster, it doesn't do me much good if my second-in-command keeps secrets from me."

Squall nodded, and sat up in his chair. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Quistis blew out her lips. "Well, sir, in that case, I hope this news is as little shock to you." She drew in a deep breath. "When Rinoa…passed away, I was the one that received her powers. I am now a Sorceress."

Cid nodded. "I suspected as much. Doctor Kadowaki said you were the closest one to Rinoa when…it happened." He looked at Squall sympathetically. "She told me she saw some kind of magical energies leap between you. She thought it was magic Rinoa had stocked up that flared out, but I again figured out what had happened. I can't blame you for not telling me, I can imagine how confused and frightened you've been."

Quistis nodded emphatically. "It's been getting better, though. I was most worried about our baby, but he's still doing fine."

Cid tilted his head, forming a short speech. "Although the primary purpose of SeeD is to protect the world from Sorceresses that would threaten it, it does not mean that SeeD must be against every Sorceress in the world. That was what I decided when I first started SeeD, because although I knew someday that some power-hungry Sorceress would try to rise up, I also knew that there were good Sorceresses, not the least of whom being my dear wife." He squeezed Edea's hand and gazed at her for a moment, before continuing, "There's no reason not to have a Sorceress in the ranks of SeeD. In fact, that will, first of all, help us have a better understanding of Sorceresses and their powers. Second, it will help serve as a reminder that, despite their powers, Sorceresses are human, just like the rest of us."

Edea planted a kiss on Cid's cheek, which abruptly turned red with embarrassment.

"Sir, there's something else," said Quistis. "This may be a bit harder to understand, but it's something you should know."

Squall glanced at her. She looked back and raised her eyebrows. Squall nodded understandingly and mouthed, _"Go ahead."_

Quistis took a deep breath. She was getting tired of telling this story. She hoped this would be the last time. "When Rinoa died, her spirit was held back from Heaven. We're not really sure why; we think it has something to do with my powers and my subconsciously not wanting her to leave. However it happened, Rinoa's spirit was pulled back, being halfway between the living world and the afterlife. She's been existing there, able to come back to our world for short visits. With the help of my powers, she can stay longer, speak to people other than me, and even be visible."

Cid's expression switched to one of genuine surprise. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again.

Quistis looked at Squall, who nodded. She closed her eyes in concentration, and then opened them again seconds later. Almost instantaneously, Rinoa shimmered into view.

Cid opened his eyes as wide as parabolic antennas, unable to believe the sight before him. This, he was _not _prepared for. "A…a hologram?" he asked.

Rinoa shook her head. "No, sir, it's really me. It's good to see you again. I've missed you."

Cid didn't reply. During the time he'd known her, he'd come to see Rinoa as a daughter, as he had with many of his SeeDs and students. Her death had secretly crushed him, but to find out that her death wasn't entirely final was almost too much for him. He stared straight at Rinoa and blinked repeatedly.

"I can understand how you feel," Rinoa said. "Our friends felt the same way when they first saw me."

After a few more heartbeats of silence, Cid whispered, "Ghost sightings."

"What?" asked Quistis.

Cid looked at Squall. "People weren't hallucinating, or making things up then, were they? They actually were seeing her…you." He turned back to Rinoa.

Rinoa nodded and crossed her arms. "That's something else that we've been trying to figure out. I think maybe it was just something I was doing wrong. I was visiting all different parts of Garden, because it's a much better place to be than where I've been stuck. I didn't mean to be visible, but I must have had some accidents."

Cid exhaled heavily. "Well…huh. I suppose that is 'mystery solved', then?" He looked at Squall. Squall nodded and shrugged.

"And here I thought my students were losing their minds. Then again, I suppose more peculiar things have happened. Oh…sorry, Rinoa. That came out wrong." Cid turned to her glowing form.

"It's okay, sir. I understand," Rinoa replied, with a grin. "I actually have something I'd like to ask of you. I know I don't deserve it, with how I lied to you before…"

Cid waved his hand. "Nonsense. I don't really blame you, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish I was told sooner."

"What I'm asking is…the Crossroad is so lonely and empty. All I have to do there is sit and wait. I'm getting strong enough to spend the better part of a day at a time here in the living world. Would it be all right if I returned to Instructing? I mean, at least until we can figure out some way to either send me to the afterlife, or let me stay permanently?"

Cid raised his eyebrows. "That one's…a little more difficult. Don't forget, my dear, you died. As far as everyone in Garden knows, you've been dead for months. Explaining this all to them…would be, well, difficult."

Rinoa nodded understandingly. "I know, sir. But if there were some way it could be done…I mean, if it's too difficult, I can do some kind of job that doesn't require me to interact with anyone that doesn't know. I just need something to _do_, and I miss working at Garden."

Cid sat in thought for a few seconds, everyone watching him. Finally, he said, "I'll see what I can do. Much more unusual things have happened; I'm sure that our faculty and students will be able to handle this."

Rinoa clenched her hands together at her chest, and nearly jumped up and down for joy. "Thank you so much, sir! I promise, you won't regret it!"

Cid chuckled. "I seem to recall you saying that exact same thing when I allowed you to try out for SeeD. I haven't yet been disappointed, and I don't expect I will be."

"Thank you, sir," said Squall, noticeably more comfortable.

With a sigh, Cid said, "Now, if you will all excuse me, I now have much more on my plate that must be dealt with. One thing, though." He stood and walked up to Rinoa, gazing at her in a fatherly way. "It's very good to see you again, Rinoa. I hope you will be able to stay for a while."

Rinoa nodded. "Me too, sir. If it's possible, me too."

*   


"Damn, I can't believe he already knew!" Zell's arms were spread wide.

Seifer shrugged. "The guy's a lot more clever than we are, I guess. Kinda sucks…I was hoping on being able to pull more past him."

Quistis sneered at Seifer and elbowed him in the stomach. "Don't start regressing into a troublemaker, or I'll have to punish you."

"Ooh, I'd probably like that too much," Seifer retorted, winking.

Squall and Rinoa both shook their heads. Xu put her palm to her forehead, Zell chuckled, and Irvine said, "Whoa! Didn't know you guys were into that kind of stuff."

Selphie furrowed her brow, looked at them and said, "I don't get it."

Irvine took her by the arm and said, "Come on, let me explain it to you." He led her off to the far corner of the room.

"Well," Xu said, giving Quistis a hug, "I'm really glad it's all worked out for you. You know that you can call on me any time, day or night, and I'll help you the best I can."

Quistis nodded. "Thanks, Xu. I will."

"That's sick!"

All heads turned toward Selphie. 

"That's how it is," said Irvine.

"Seifer, you're weird! That's just like…kinky and stuff!" Selphie had her hands on her hips, scolding Seifer.

Everyone put their hands to their foreheads and shook their heads. Squall said, "I'm surprised Irvine never told you before, what with those dirty magazines of his."

Irvine replied, "Oh, those. I don't get them anymore. They're, like…dirty, and stuff…"

Quistis chimed in, "In other words, Selphie made you stop getting them."

Irvine shrugged. Everyone had a good laugh at the cowboy's expense, as he rubbed his beard nervously. "Well, we don't want Maribel or Cyan stumbling across them when they're older."

"Oh, yeah," said Zell. "How are the li'l rugrats?"

"They're great!" said Selphie excitedly. "They're both really smart, and got lots of energy! They're probably wearing out our Garden's babysitter right now!"

"Speaking of which, you two," said Xu, "Our Garden needs to get back to Trabia tomorrow. We need to go with it, but we can stay until tomorrow morning."

Selphie clasped her hands together. "Woo hoo! Then we gotta take advantage of the time we've got! Now that the whole crew's back together, we're gonna par-tay!" She raised a fist into the air and jumped up excitedly.

Squall was about to give an argument, but Rinoa interrupted, "That sounds like fun!"

Squall looked at her, and she replied telepathically, _Squall, everybody's been under so much stress lately. Especially Quisty and Seifer. We need something to take our minds off of everything. Quisty looks a lot better, but I still think she's about to collapse from all the stress._

Squall thought for a second, and conceded, _Okay, you're right. With the queen of parties here, it'll probably be a spectacular one._

Rinoa winked. _I have a few ideas myself._

Quistis could tell that Squall and Rinoa were conversing, but could not pick up the words; it was obviously a private conversation, and Rinoa didn't want Quistis overhearing their telepathic link. However, she could tell from their expressions that Rinoa was convincing Squall that a party would be a good idea. Quistis agreed. Although she'd shed a lot of stress in revealing her secret to her friends and to Cid, she needed a good diversion to relax her mind.

*   


"Woohoo! This is great!" Selphie gyrated and leapt about the dance floor, her baby blue party dress swishing around her knees. SHe obviously didn't care whether or not she was actually moving to the beat of the music. Irvine, who had shed his overcoat and hat, was making a better attempt at actual dancing than his excitable wife. Both were grinning widely.

Seifer, Quistis, Xu, Zell, and Rinoa all watched them with great amusement. As always, Squall only watched with less of a scowl than normal. _Good thing the apartment's soundproof_, he thought, as he watched Selphie repeatedly jump into the air, her high heels clacking on the floor every time she landed. He then glanced at Alexa, who was also having the time of her life, dressed in her best outfit and dancing with her Aunt and Uncle. He gave a small smile, glad to see that his daugher, who had been through so much as of late, was having fun.

Seifer and Quistis' apartment had been hastily decorated with streamers, cutouts of chocobos, and a small disco ball hanging from the ceiling over the living room. The furniture had been moved into the next room, and a makeshift dance floor laid down on top of the carpet. Selphie had brought over her extremely loud stereo system, and was making full use of it. She had also brought over her infant twins, Maribel and Cyan, who lay in a bassinet next to Squall and Rinoa. Squall gazed down at the fraternal twins, sleeping soundly with the protection of a magical silence barrier that had been cast around them. _We've all changed so much_, he thought. _Now Selphie and Irvine are parents, and Quistis and Seifer will be soon._ He turned back to the dance floor. _Looking at them, it's hard to believe, but we've all grown up. But have we really changed from back then?_

Rinoa, in her perpetually glowing SeeD uniform, looked up from Alexa to her husband. He was swishing his drink around in the glass, and although is eyes were on the mad dancers, she could sense his thoughts were elsewhere. _Gil for your thoughts_, she asked telepathically.

_Huh? Oh, sorry_, he replied, taking a gulp of his drink. _Just remembering._

_Remembering what?_

Squall looked down at her, his eyes now soft and warm. _Our first dance. Lexie still loves to hear that story, you know. And I still like telling it._

Rinoa blushed slightly and turned away for a second. Then, peeking from around her flowing hair, she said, _Wanna go for it?_

Squall raised his eyebrows. _How can we dance if I can't touch you?_

_You can do it, cutie. You're coordinated enough, Mister gunblade expert._ She walked out toward the open floor where Irvine, Selphie, and Alexa were still fast-dancing to the music. Rinoa immediately broke into rhythm, doing quite well at keeping the beat. 

Squall followed, drawing upon his dance classes from years before. _Be prepared_, he thought, remembering Garden's reasons for teaching candidates how to dance. _Be inconspicuous._

Squall started out grooving lightly to the music, afraid of looking too ridiculous. Then, he started swaying more widely, finally breaking out into a full dance. Those that were still not dancing laughed out loud at Squall's out-of-character attempt at fast dancing. Selphie and Irvine then noticed Squall's strange moves and barely avoided falling over with laughter themselves. Even Alexa was making fun of him.

Squall saw their mirth, stopped dancing, and glared at them. "Hey, did you hear me make fun of you two?" He glanced back at Rinoa, who, to his dismay, was covering her mouth to stifle her own giggles. Squall shook his head. "Thanks." He started walking off the dance floor.

"No, wait!" said Rinoa, instinctively reaching out for his arm. Her hand passed right through it, but Squall stopped, having seen the movement in his peripheral vision. He turned around and faced her, not with annoyance, but with sadness in his face. Her face returned the expression.

Everyone else saw the exchange of sad looks, but quickly looked away and pretended to be minding their own business. Selphie and Irvine slowed their dance down a little and looked into each other's eyes, both seeing the pain their friends were going through.

Seconds later, the fast song ended, and was supplanted by a much slower, more romantic one. Squall and Rinoa both nodded. They approached each other and mimed a dancing embrace. Rinoa held her hands up high around Squall's neck, and Squall held his hands low at Rinoa's waist. They did their best to pretend that they were making actual physical contact, and attempted to enjoy the dance.

Irvine and Selphie saw this, and although they had started their own slow dance, they kept glancing at the obviously saddened Squall and Rinoa. Selphie leaned into Irvine and laid her head on his shoulder. "I love you, Irvy. I never wanna lose you."

"Me either, Sefie," Irvine replied tenderly. "Me either."

Zell, who had taken Xu's hand and had started leading her out onto the floor, said, "That's really sad."

Xu nodded. "I wish there was something we could do for them." She put her arms around Zell and started leading him in a dance. Zell, more skilled at combat footwork than dancing, fumbled his way through it the best he could.

Quistis finished her glass of water and placed it on a nearby table. She felt like dancing, but knew Seifer wasn't very comfortable with it. Instead, she simply stood with his muscular arms around her, holding her tight and lovingly. "Look at them, Seifer. They're glad to be together, but can't you just see how much they miss being able to hold each other?" She looked up at him. "I don't know what I'd do if you couldn't hold me."

Seifer shrugged. "That would be pretty bad. But…maybe there's something we can do for them."

Quistis frowned lightly, in thought. "What?"

"I don't know," Seifer replied. "But, I mean, you guys were the ones that figured out how to travel through time to get to Ultimecia and beat her ass. Why can't we all think of something to fix this?"

Quistis was stumped. _Why can't we? I guess I've been so exhausted that I never stopped to think about that._

"Maybe there's some way we can get her another body. Like a robot or something." Seifer shrugged. 

Quistis scowled. _A robot. That would be very strange, not to mention grotesque when she and Squall want to get intimate._

"Or maybe you can do something with your powers, now that you're getting more comfortable with them," Seifer suggested.

Quistis tilted her head. "I really don't know. This has all been uncharted for me since the beginning."

"Well," Seifer replied, "I say we do our best to figure something out. I mean look at them. They're happy and all because they're together, but, well, I don't want to imagine what that would be like for us."

Quistis nodded thoughtfully. 

Seifer chewed on the inside of his cheek for a second. "I say that we talk to everyone about this later. Between all of us, someone's got to come up with a good idea." 

"Yes, that's a great idea," Quistis said, straightening her yellow, cactuar-emblazoned maternity shirt. "Except, we shouldn't tell Squall or Rinoa. If I know them, and I do, they'll say they're perfectly happy and they don't want to make trouble for us. But you're right. We have to be able to think of something. There has to be a way."

*   


As the weeks went past, things began to normalize themselves for Quistis and Seifer. No longer having to keep the secret of Quistis' powers, they both found themselves more at ease. After the news of her powers had been leaked to staff and students, some had avoided her, even feared her. They also began to fear Seifer, who once again was a Sorceress' knight. However, as time passed, all could see that Quistis was the same Instructor Trepe she'd always been, and most came to accept her as she was. Those that didn't kept quiet, for Cid and Squall showed no tolerance toward disrespect.

The news about Rinoa had been a little more difficult for them to understand. Ultimately, Cid had told a white lie, saying that because she had traveled through Time Compression and had held the powers of Ultimecia at that time, that she had actually existed partly outside the space-time continuum, and that, upon her death, she continued to live on in a noncorporeal state. As no one truly understood Time Compression, the lie was accepted, and the presence of Rinoa's "ghost" became viewed as normal. She had even begun teaching classes again with the assistance of an aide, for manipulating physical objects.

Rinoa was often seen walking the halls, greeting and even conversing with students and faculty, as she had when she was alive. Since she didn't require sleep, she often toured Garden during the night, and even assisted the faculty in monitoring the halls. Also, Quistis had become much more attuned to her powers, and now that her mind was cleared of much of her worry, she had been able to train herself both to keep Rinoa visible almost constantly, and to almost completely eliminate the physical discomfort of pregnancy. She chose not to pursue her powers beyond that, at least until her son was born.

Yet, as happy as things had become, people could not help but continue to see Squall and Rinoa's silent sadness. Their minds were still linked as strongly as ever, but they both missed the physical contact that came with their intimate love. Although they complained openly neither to each other nor to anyone else, each could feel the sense of missing from the other. That sense of missing also unconsciously radiated out from them, a telltale sign to those that loved them that they did not feel complete. Their friends all could see that there was only one way to give them back their happiness. Rinoa needed a body. 

The problem was, none of them had any clue as to how to get her one. Although they considered that Rinoa could possess a living person, Rinoa would never have agreed to use another person's body so she could be intimate with her husband. And Squall, no matter whose mind was in the body, could not be intimate with any other body than Rinoa's.

Zell in particular had spent every free waking moment trying to find a solution to the problem. Squall was the brother he'd never had, and Rinoa, therefore, was his sister. He loved them both more dearly than he'd ever let on (since men, especially warriors, don't do that kind of thing), and he wanted them both to be happy.

Therefore, on this night like nearly every night for the past several weeks, Zell sat at the desk in his dorm, poring over volumes of Sorceress lore, magical tomes, and back issues of _Occult Fan._ He was desperate for any clues that would offer a solution to their problem.

Zell's head slowly dipped, and his forehead came to rest on page 151 of _Sorceresses Throughout the Ages,_ a textbook used in Trabia public colleges. It was usually employed in classes on mythology and legend, but the more Zell read about the legends, the more he had recognized from seeing Edea, Adel, and Ultimecia in action. He had had close contact with more Sorceresses in the past five years than most people would in five lifetimes. Although some of the "facts" were more rumor than hard evidence, much of what he read was well within the spectrum of believability for powerful Sorceresses like Adel and Ultimecia. And, from what Squall had told them, Quistis held the powers of all Sorceresses that had lived before her, as well as those of Ultimecia herself. He left nothing outside the realm of possibility.

As Zell's breathing slowed, his arm, hanging limply at his side, began to relax. A metal pen that he had been holding slipped out of his grasp. When it fell to the carpet, it bounced once and struck the metal chair leg with a sharp *ping*. Zell started, immediately sitting up and opening his eyes wide. He looked around for the source of the noise, and caught sight of the clock on the wall.

_Quarter after midnight_, he thought, running a hand roughly through his hair. _I'll have to keep going in the morning._

Zell stood up, stretching his arms and back, and yawned widely. He had spent nearly seven hours straight, with only a ten-minute hot dog break, looking through the books he had borrowed from the library and had purchased from a bookstore in Balamb. _And not a damn thing to show for it,_ he thought, glancing at the notes he had scrawled on the yellow paper on his desk. He couldn't even read some of the remarks; he must have been half asleep when he wrote them.

_I just don't friggin' believe this._ He kicked his chair, knocking it onto its back and under the desk. He turned toward his bed and brought down his fist, causing the cot to jump up in the air and fall back down with a clatter. _How the hell am I gonna do this? I can't let them down! Why can't this be as easy as making that Griever ring for Rinoa was…_

Zell stopped his tantrum. He spun around and looked at the desk, piled high with papers, books, and magazines. 

He set his chair upright, sat down and swiped heaps of materials onto the floor. He switched on his terminal, and was grateful to see it wink to life instantly. After quickly signing in, he looked up the reports that had been filed after the Ultimecia affair. Each SeeD that had fought Ultimecia had filed their own report on the events they witnessed, and in which they participated, in the future. When the document listings came up, Zell opened his own report. He scanned down a page, eyes eventually resting on a particular paragraph. His mouth dropped open, and he let out a short laugh. _Is that it? _

He quickly pulled up the other reports, scanning each for the same event. _Yeah, that's it,_ he thought. _That's it! I can't believe we didn't think of it before! I must be frickin' stupid!_

Zell jumped up out of his seat and ran out the door, not even bothering to close it behind him. The halls were empty at this hour, as regulations stated all students and faculty not on duty must be in their dorms. He didn't care about being punished for breaking that rule; his status as SeeD Deputy Commander afforded him a few such liberties. He didn't break rules often, but certainly this time he felt it was very important.

He ran out of the dorm sector, through the circular corridor of Garden proper, and to the elevator. He mashed the button, waited a second, and then pressed it repeatedly as he rapidly tapped his foot. When the door finally opened, Zell jumped inside and again pounded the button for the second floor, muttering curses under his breath at the elevator's slowness.

When the elevator deposited him on the second level, he sprinted toward Quistis and Seifer's apartment. He knocked on the door furiously, and put his hands to his hips as he waited impatiently for an answer. After a moment, the door opened, and Seifer's scowling, droopy-eyed face greeted him. His close-cropped hair was slightly unruly, and he was glaring at the younger man. 

"Zell, what the hell? You know what time it is?" Seifer asked in a forceful whisper. "This better be freakin' important."

"It's important, believe me." Zell squeezed his way into the apartment, ignoring the angry look on Seifer's face, which was becoming more taut by the second.

"Sure, come on in, Zell," Seifer said, his voice high with sarcasm. He threw the door closed, tightened the knot in his bathrobe's belt, gritted his teeth. "Can I get you some coffee? Sleeping potion? Malboro Breath? I think Quisty would love to give you some of that…"

As if on-cue, Quistis stuck her head out of the bedroom and stared icicles at Zell. She sighed loudly, closed her eyes, and put a hand to her forehead.

"No, I'm fine," Zell replied, missing Seifer's facetiousness completely. "Look, I just had to tell someone this, and you were the easiest."

Seifer groaned. He glanced up at Quistis, who was walking into the room, closing her bathrobe. Quistis summoned up her energies, and managed to wash the sleepiness out of her head and off her face with flickers of golden energy. However, her mood was not lightened in the slightest. "Zell, there'd better be a damn good reason for this. You know, some of us have to work in the morning."

Zell looked up at her and began to stammer. He saw the traces of golden light work their way across her body and vanish; he was caught off-guard. He'd never before seen her actually _use_ her Sorceress powers.

Finally, Seifer said impatiently, "Ok, Zell, I'll bite. What's important enough to wake us up so late?"

Zell rubbed his palms together nervously, all previous traces of his fatigue gone. "I think I figured out how we can get Squall and Rin back together again."

"What do you mean?" asked Quistis, sitting next to Seifer. Seifer rubbed some sleep out of his eyes, and then narrowed them as he tried to focus his tired mind on Zell.

"I mean, I think I figured out how to get Rinoa a body. I can't believe we didn't think of it before."

Quistis started to ask Zell how, but Zell immediately launched into an explanation of what he'd found, and what his idea was. When he was finished, Quistis leaned back in the chair and stared off into the distance.

Seifer opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again. He couldn't think of anything to say. Finally, he uttered, "That's…that's…crazy."

Zell shrugged, "But ya gotta admit it could work!"

Seifer looked at Quistis, and was surprised to see the haunted look on her face. He took her in his arms and said, "Quisty, you okay?"

Slowly, Quistis turned her eyes toward Seifer. Blinking twice, she said, "That's…frighteneing."

"I know, I…"

"But," she interrupted, "it _could_ work."


	19. Chapter 18: Progression Toward A Goal

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy is the property of SquareSoft. If you didn't know that already, you wouldn't be here.

  
  
  


Chapter 18: Progression Toward A Goal  
Setting: Seifer and Quistis' Apartment  
The Next Evening

  
  


Quistis stood over the dining table, staring down at the faux wood finish. Across the table from her stood Seifer, watching her closely with a piercing gaze.

Quistis shook her head. "Seifer, I just don't know. I-I've never done anything like this with my powers before. Do you really think I can do this?"

"I think you can do whatever you put your mind to," Seifer replied. "You've got the power, we know. You just gotta believe in yourself."

Quistis drew in a deep breath. "All right, here goes nothing…"

She raised her hands, palms down. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she withdrew into deep concentration. Seifer watched silently, not wanting to break Quistis' focus.

Quistis drew her face in tight, as if straining against a powerful force. After a few moments, bolts of golden energy began to arc from her fingertips to the tabletop. As the beams grew more numerous, they began to curl around themselves in all directions before reaching the table. The energy began to form the barest hint of a figure on the tabletop; the shape was vaguely human, as if it were a person wrapped tightly, head to toe, with thick bandages.

Quistis suddenly let out the breath she'd been holding, and opened her eyes. The shape that had been forming instantly disappeared without a trace. Quistis, breathing heavily, hung her head forward and smacked the table's surface hard with her palm. "I can't do it."

"Hey," Seifer said, taking her hand. "You didn't give up on _me_ this easily. C'mon, where's the Instructor Trepe that never gave up, and always stuck by her friends?"

Quistis looked up at Seifer. "This is totally different, and you know it."

Seifer shrugged. "Different how? Look, according to your _own_ scan, Ultimecia created Griever out of thin air, using just her powers. _You_ now have her powers, handed down from Ultimecia to Edea to Rinoa to you. No one says you have to do it right now." He tilted her head up with a finger below her chin. "You don't even have to do it, period, if you don't feel comfortable with it."

Quistis shook her head, pulling her chin off Seifer's finger. "No, Seifer. I want to do it. I _have_ to. For me as much as for them."

Seifer stared her straight in the eye. "In that case, you've gotta be patient. Give it some time, and you'll get better at it. You didn't get so good with your whip in just a few days, did you?"

Quistis sighed, and smirked quietly. She remembered that it had taken her months before she could wield her whip against an enemy without seriously hurting herself. "I'm sorry, it's just…for some reason, these powers always seem to depress me. I don't know why. But you're right, I shouldn't give up."

Seifer nodded. "Good. Wanna take a break?"

Quistis shook her head. "No, I'll try again a few more times first. I just need practice."

Seifer lowered his voice. "You know, you _could_ always ask Rinoa or Edea for help."

Quistis shook her head again. "Not Rinoa. I can't…I mean…she can't know we're doing this. Not yet." With that, she rubbed her palms together, raised them above the table's surface, and shut her eyes again.

*   


Several weeks passed, with no real success. Although Quistis had eventually learned how to make her creations last up to a minute, she wasn't making nearly as much progress as she'd hoped. However, with Seifer's support and Zell's help, she was making some headway. She and Seifer spent most of their evenings together, making attempt after attempt, while Zell passed on any materials he could find that even remotely alluded to Sorceress powers. Including the news accounts from Edea's coup in Galbadia, Adel's war, and the Ultimecia affair, there had been little credible information available. Despite this, Zell made a point of meeting with them every few evenings to tell them all that he had found.

On one such evening, Quistis and Seifer were together in the cafeteria, having just finished their early dinners. Just as they were pushing their chairs back under the table, they heard a voice call them from the cafeteria entrance.

Rinoa walked toward them, Alexa close behind. Both seemed to be in good spirits, and were waving.

Quistis was happy to see them, since recently she had been so busy that she hadn't been able to spend much time with her friend. She suspected Rinoa was purposefully leaving her alone, because of the guilt she felt over the tension she'd helped cause in Quistis and Seifer's relationship. However, since Rinoa had trained herself to hold her "presence" in the living world without needing Quistis' help, she didn't need to keep constant contact with Quistis anymore. Needles to say, Rinoa had begun to miss her best friend. 

Quistis sat slowly back down, beckoning the mother and daughter to join them. Seifer sat down also, putting on a big grin for Alexa.

"Hey, guys! Mind if we join you?" Rinoa and Alexa stood at the table.

"Sure, we haven't seen you in a while. Where's Squall?" Quistis asked.

Alexa pulled out a chair and sat down, her chin just barely above the tabletop. Rinoa stepped into the other chair and sat down on the ground. She then levitated up, to make it appear she was sitting in the chair. However, her knees poked up slightly through the table, and her arms, which were wrapped around her legs, disappeared into the tabletop.

"Oh, he's working, as always," said Rinoa. "SeeD's getting so much business lately that Squall's been burning the midnight oil a lot." Quistis could sense the slight sadness in her voice. Rinoa continued, "I try to go up and visit him when I can, but I'm too much of a distraction, I think."

Seifer and Quistis quickly glanced at each other, and Seifer then turned to Alexa and said, "So, Lexie, how are your classes going?"

"Great!" Alexa replied excitedly. "Mommy's a really good teacher." She looked up at Rinoa, who smiled warmly.

Seifer slid his chair nearer to Alexa to engage her in conversation as Rinoa and Quistis continued theirs.

"So, what have you guys been up to these past few weeks?" Rinoa asked.

"Uh, not a whole lot," replied Quistis. "Just spending time together when we can, getting back into a routine, you know. I've been fine-tuning my control, and now it's at the point that I don't even feel stiff or sick in the morning. Plus, I've been able to stop my feet from swelling, so I can wear my favorite boots again."

Rinoa giggled. "Yeah, I remember how good it was to get rid of _that_. What else, though? Just working?"

Quistis shrugged. "I suppose. Since Squall reassigned Seifer to Weapons Training, he's been pretty busy most days. By the way, could you please tell him I said 'Thank you'? It's…really good, that Seifer doesn't have to go away on the dangerous missions anymore."

Rinoa smiled widely. "Seifer's one of the best SeeD fighters not already in an administrative or teaching position. Also, Squall knows how much you need him, as a husband, the father of your child, and your knight. Don't tell Seifer this, but Squall wanted to make sure nothing bad happened to him."

They both looked over at Seifer, who was still obliviously talking with Alexa. "I definitely won't tell him that last part," replied Quistis. "If he found out, he'd demand to be on the next mission, and hitch a ride with it if Squall refused."

Rinoa laughed. Quistis happened to glance at a wall clock, and her eyebrows arched. "Oh, shoot. We've gotta go. Seifer, come on. We'll be late."

Seifer looked at her, and at the clock. "Yeah, you're right. Hey, Lexie, I'll see ya later, okay?"

"Sure!"

Rinoa did nothing to hide her look of puzzlement. "Late for what?"

Quistis stammered, "N-nothing…I mean…Sorry, Rinny, we just have to…"

"We're meeting with the insurance guy," Seifer interrupted. "We're going to set up a trust fund for Tracker, in case anything every happens to us."

Quistis looked at Seifer. _Thanks, good save_.

"Oh, ok," said Rinoa, her smile completely gone. "Go ahead then. See you later?"

"Sure, Rinny," Quistis replied, getting up out of her seat. "Sorry to run…"

"No, it's okay, I understand," Rinoa said with a friendly grin.

Quistis smiled back as she took Seifer's hand. "Bye."

"Bye Aunt Quisty and Uncle Seifer!" Alexa called after them as they walked toward the exit.

Rinoa turned to the empty chairs and pursed her lips. Alexa, seeing her mother's look of concern, said, "Mommy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Rinoa replied, shaking her head. _Nothing except the fact that they're hiding something._

*   


"Great, Quisty," said Seifer sardonically as they entered the elevator. "You've gotta learn how to lie better. I thought I was rubbing off on you."

Quistis stared daggers at him. "Well, excuse me Mister Genius of the Liars, but I've had quite a bit on my mind recently, in case you can't tell."

Seifer held his hands up in defense. "Sorry," he apologized as the lift began to rise. "But if she doesn't guess something's up, I'd be really surprised."

"As long as she doesn't try to stop us, I don't care," Quistis replied.

The lift stopped at the second level, and Quistis and Seifer exited and headed toward their apartment. Zell was already standing there, his hands on his hips.

"Jeez, guys, what took so long?" Zell admonished. Seifer rolled his eyes, inserted his keycard into the slot, and opened the door.

"We ran into Rinoa just as we were leaving," Quistis replied stepping into the apartment. Zell followed close behind, hauling a large bag of books. "It's been a while since we've seen each other, and we just…talked a bit."

"Oh," said Zell, most of the cockiness gone from his voice. "Well…sorry."

Seifer switched on the lights in the living room, and sat down on the couch next to Quistis. Zell knelt down on the floor and began to lay out books. Some of them were new paperbacks purchased from a Balamb bookshop, while others were obviously quite old and worn.

"So, whaddaya got?" Seifer asked.

"Well," said Zell, dropping a blue hardcover book on the table. "Xu pointed this one out to me. It's an old textbook they used when she was still a candidate here. This copy was pretty hard to find, but it mentions something about a Sorceress once using her powers to create an army of…what was it…" Zell scanned the page he had bookmarked, "'Phantasmal Soldiers'. Pretty creepy stuff, if you ask me."

"Let's see that," said Seifer, spinning the book around so he and Quistis could read it. The two scanned the page for a moment, and Quistis shook her head.

"What?" asked Zell.

"Zell, I'm not trying to make a mindless, soulless army here. I want to create a body suitable for Rinoa's soul to take over." Quistis slid the book back over to Zell. 

"Yeah, I know," defended Zell, "but this means that Sorceresses in the past have created human beings using only their powers. So what if they could only make ones that were like robots? I mean, that was hundreds of years ago, and don't you have the powers of a lot more Sorceresses than this one did?"

"Well…yes," Quistis conceded. "But, I haven't had a whole lot of success when I've tried creating one before. They just evaporate as quickly as I can create them, and it takes all my concentration to do that."

"We need clues on how to do it," Seifer said. "We know it can be done, we just want a few hints on how to do it."

"I haven't been able to find a 'Sorceress Handbook' yet," Zell retorted.

Seifer shook his head slowly. "All we've found is that things were done, not _how_ they were done."

Zell shrugged. "I've been looking for anything actually written by a Sorceress, but nothing yet."

Quistis smirked absentmindedly. "Maybe I should be the first to write one. Wouldn't _that_ be a joke?"

"Actually," said Seifer, "maybe that'd be a good idea. Some young woman may suddenly find herself a Sorceress, like you did, and won't know what to do with herself. And you can write a whole chapter on creating human bodies out of thin air when we're done."

Quistis elbowed him in the ribs. Seifer grabbed them, mocking pain, and coughed, "Real adult, Instructor."

Zell simply watched them. He was used to their banter, but wisely chose to stay out of it. Having one Almasy down your throat is bad enough, but two would be downright vicious.

"Ok, ok," Quistis said. "We're not getting anything accomplished here. Zell, did you find anything else that might help?"

Zell shook his head. "Not really. You know, for an academy built to train soldiers to fight the Sorceress, there sure ain't much info on them."

Seifer cleared his throat and glared at Zell. Zell shrugged. "What? Ya know what I meant!"

Quistis waved her hands in front of them. "It's okay, I understand. I guess I'm just going to have to keep experimenting until I get it right, or until we find something."

Zell nodded. "Ya know, I _could_ give Laguna a call and see if Doctor Odine knows anything."

Quistis shuddered. _That little man has always given me the creeps. And the stories Rinoa's told me…_ "I don't know, Zell. Does _Laguna_ even know about Rinoa? Or even that I'm the Sorceress?"

"Uh, I don't know," Zell replied, scratching the back of his head. "Did Squall ever say anything about it to you?"

Seifer shook his head. "If he doesn't know, we shouldn't say anything to him about it. Don't want to get into a whole family thing. I bet they've got enough problems." He chuckled ironically.

Quistis tilted her head. "You're probably right."

Zell cleared his throat. "Okay, uh, so whaddaya want me to do?" 

"Just keep looking," Quistis said. "Meanwhile. I'll keep at it, and maybe I'll learn how to do it on my own."

*   


Squall entered the apartment and shut the door behind him quietly. He knew he was late, and he hoped Rinoa didn't have much trouble getting Alexa to put herself bed. Usually, he'd been able to make time to stop at home to help Rinoa, and then go back to work, but this night had been an endless string of meetings and performance evaluations. His exhausted eyes felt like they were about to fall out of their sockets.

"Hey there," came an angel's quiet voice. "How was your evening?"

Those weary eyes rested on Rinoa. Simply hearing her voice was enough to lift his spirits from utter collapse. Despite his exhaustion, he managed a slim smile. "Boring and long. Yours?"

Rinoa shrugged. "Class went well. I've gotten them up to the Galbadia-Timber War in History, and they're eager to start caring for the chocobo egg next week. Oh, and I finished that book you programmed into the computer."

Squall shook his head, still smiling. "I'll make sure to program a few more books in there for you. The voice interface working?"

"Yeah, that part's working great. We've gotta thank Laguna for that. And…Odine, I guess." She visibly shuddered. "Amazing that it can pick up on my voice, even though it's not actual 'vibrations in the air', like Odine said."

Squall nodded slowly, and then collapsed into a chair. Rinoa knelt down beside him. "You look horrible."

"Thanks," Squall replied dryly.

"You know, something kind of funny happened today," Rinoa said, changing the subject. She brushed some hair behind her ear.

"Good. I could use funny."

Rinoa smiled, somewhat reservedly. "Lexie and I went to dinner in the Cafeteria, and we met Seifer and Quisty there. They acted all nervous when they saw me, and they just kind of ran off after a few minutes."

Squall shrugged and yawned, "Maybe they're planning a surprise birthday party for you."

"Oh, hey…It _is_ getting on that time, isn't it?" 

"Yeah," Squall replied. "But, now that I think of it, they must be trying to keep it from me, too. I ran into Seifer to give him a quick briefing on that bodyguard mission he'll be heading to next week, and when I said something about what Quistis would be doing while he was gone, he didn't seem to want to talk about it."

"Hmmm. I wonder what's going on?"

Squall shrugged again. "I don't know, but I don't have the energy left to worry about it tonight, that's for sure. Why don't we talk about it in the morning?"

"Ok. Would you like me to see you off to bed?" Rinoa stood, hands folded behind her back, and bounced on the balls of her feet.

"I'd love that," Squall replied, slowly rising from his chair.

*   


Eleven days later, Seifer strode from the elevator on Garden's second floor, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He'd just returned from his latest mission, which had lasted six days. During that time, he'd gotten a total of about twenty hours of sleep. He hated playing babysitter for a bunch of starched-shirts, and he was tired. Fortunately, since it was late at night back in Balamb, he didn't have to deal with throngs of students populating the halls between the entrance gate and his bed.

He stood before the door to his apartment and gently swiped his ID card. As he cracked open the door, he immediately heard a buzzing, combined with a low-pitched thrumming, as if lightning was leaping across the room. As he opened the door further, he was nearly blinded by the intense light that blasted out of the apartment. Even though he instinctively closed his eyes tightly, quite a bit of light still filtered in through his eyelids

Seifer was sure he knew who was at the center of the energies being released, and his pulse began to pound in his ears. He rushed inside the apartment, not bothering to close the door behind him. "Quisty?" he called.

He received no answer. He worked his way blindly toward the source of the light, unable to see what was ahead of him.

Finally, after a few moments, the light subsided and the noise faded away into nothing. Seifer, now blinded by the sudden _darkness_ of the room, stuck his hand out. It brushed against something soft, warm, and wet. He flipped his hand around to grasp it, and quickly realized it was Quistis' bare arm. Stepping forward, he blinked to try to force his eyes to adjust to the dim light. When they finally did, he gasped.

Quistis stood by him silently, staring down at the table in front of her. On that table was a human-shaped body. His eyes still correcting themselves, he squinted as he tried to focus on the figure's face. As it came into clarity, his mouth fell open.

The face was a nearly perfect image of Rinoa's. The face had eyebrows, and looked like it was asleep, waiting for life. The fact that it had no hair on top of its head was only the first hint of the body's surrealism. The body was completely motionless, bringing to his mind memories of seeing her corpse at her funeral. 

_My God, she did it!_ he thought. He scanned the length body, noticing that, although it was uncovered, it had no visible features one would expect on a naked body. It had no fingernails or toenails. Its skin was completely smooth and hairless, lacking even the miniscule "peach fuzz" hair on its arms. Its breasts were perfectly round and smooth, and had no nipples. He then glanced at the area between its legs. He was only partially surprised to see no genitalia there, only perfectly-smooth skin. It was as if Rinoa's face had been implanted onto the body of a mannequin. 

"I've been trying for eight hours," Quistis said, her voice trembling. Seifer looked up at her. "And this is the best I could do." She was staring at the "body", her eyes half-open.

"But, it…she…I mean…you've done it, right? It hasn't…"

Seifer was interrupted by the bright blue light that noisily began to course across the body's skin. As the energy passed over each area, the skin began to break apart in white cracks, and lift off the body before vanishing into tiny golden sparkles. Within seconds, the entire body was consumed by these energies and it evaporated, the head being the last to vanish. 

"No…" came Quistis' voice. Her chin lowered to her chest, and her knees buckled. Seifer, his fatigue instantly gone, quickly caught her and cradled her in his arms. He saw the sweat soaking her face, and heard her shallow, rapid breath.

"Quisty? Quisty, you okay?"

No answer.

"Dammit!" Seifer lifted her up into his arms and headed quickly out the door.

*   


Upon arriving at the Infirmary, Seifer barked at the intern behind the desk, "Go get Doctor Kadowaki, now!"

The intern nodded quickly and flipped a button on his desk. He then shot up and rushed to the sick room across from the desk.

"Put her here," the intern said calmly. "I just paged the doctor; she'll be here soon."

Seifer carried Quistis up to the cot and laid her down gently. He stayed by her side, holding her hand.

"What happened?" asked the intern, pulling out a medical scanner from the table next to the bed.

Seifer bit his lip. "I had just gotten home and she…just collapsed."

The intern waved the scanner over Quistis' abdomen. He sighed in relief as he said, "Well, it's not anything wrong with the baby. Your son is fine."

Seifer felt a sliver of relief, but was still quite anxious. "What about Quistis?"

"Just a second," the intern said, waving the scanner over Quistis' chest and head. "I'm not detecting any injuries. She's perspired heavily. Body temperature's about a hundred. Has she been doing a lot of exercising recently?"

Seifer shook his head. "Not that I know. Why?"

The intern frowned. "Looks like she's overexerted herself, and passed out from exhaustion. I can't find any trauma, just a buildup of lactic acid in her muscles."

"What the hell does that mean?" Seifer squeezed Quistis' hand, which was quite warm and moist with her sweat.

The intern pulled another small device from the side table, and pointed it at Quistis face. A fine mist began spraying from it. "Heavy fatigue, as well as minor dehydration. I don't think anything serious is wrong, but Doctor Kadowaki should check her over to be sure."

As if on-cue, the door slid open and the doctor stepped into the infirmary. Her face was devoid of any makeup, but her eyes were sharp and alert. "What's going on?"

The intern called out to her, "Instructor Almasy in here, Doctor. Looks to me like exhaustion and minor dehydration."

Kadowaki stepped into the sick room and held out her hands. "I'll take over."

The intern handed her the scanner and misting device. She continued dispensing the mist over Quistis' face and neck, constantly watching the scanner.

"Yes, good prognosis," Kadowaki said. "Set up a fluid IV."

The intern nodded and rushed out of the room. Seifer looked at Kadowaki and said, "What? Did you say IV?"

Kadowaki nodded. "Looks like she was doing something strenuous for a long time, without replenishing her fluids. Without drinking anything," she clarified. "That's why she's dehydrated. The fluid IV will replenish her electrolytes and help her body normalize itself more quickly. She'll be just fine."

Seifer nodded and closed his eyes. _Thank you, God._

The intern arrived with a plastic IV bag, filled with a clear liquid. He handed it to Kadowaki, who connected a tube to it. She inserted a small needle into Quistis' forearm, and inserted the other end of the tube into the needle. Kadowaki flicked the tip of the bag to start the fluid drip, and then turned to the intern. "Good work, Uston. Go back and man the desk. I want to speak to Mister Almasy alone for a minute."

The intern nodded and quickly stepped out of the room. He closed the door behind him.

Kadowaki turned her intelligent gaze to Seifer. "What was she doing?"

"I don't…I don't know," Seifer stammered. 

"You _do_ know, Seifer. You can't lie to me, I know better. I need to know so I can help your wife and your baby. What was she doing?"

Seifer sighed. _Dammit. If I don't tell her, she's probably gonna go straight to Cid, and then the whole thing'll be out of the bag._ "All right," he said. "Just don't tell anyone else, all right?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality," Kadowaki replied, her tone softer.

Seifer started describing to her about their plan; that they intended to create a new body for Rinoa, using Quistis' powers. He told her they'd been experimenting for a couple weeks, and were starting to have some success. He summarized as best he could, culminating with how Quistis mentioned she'd been working at it for eight hours this evening before passing out.

After absorbing all that information, Kadowaki raised her eyebrow. "Interesting. And you really think it can be done?"

"We don't see why not. If Ultimecia could create a GF using her powers, I can't see why Quistis can't create a human." Seifer stroked Quistis' brow with his free hand.

"Well," replied Kadowaki, hesitating. "First I'd suggest Quistis not try pushing herself so hard. I know she can suppress her discomfort using her powers, but the stress pregnancy puts on her body still remains. She needs to rest and make sure she keeps getting fluids." Kadowaki switched off the scanner and put it away.

Seifer nodded, and looked down at Quistis. "One more thing." continued Kadowaki. "I'd really like to help."

Seifer looked back up at her. "You would?"

"What you are trying to do, well, to my knowledge, it's never been done. But to create a human body, I'd want a doctor there, wouldn't you think? At least to help you figure out how one works."

Seifer nodded. She had a point.

"And besides," Kadowaki continued, "if Quistis insists on pushing herself this much, she should be monitored to make sure she keeps her health. And..."

Just then, Quistis moaned. Both looked down at her, and Seifer squeezed her hand. Quistis slowly opened her eyes and looked straight at Seifer. "Wha…what…happened?"

"It's okay, Quisty. Doctor Kadowaki said you collapsed from exhaustion." Seifer's voice was low and smooth, as soothing as he could muster.

Quistis shifted her tired gaze to Kadowaki. "Doctor? Where…am I?"

"The Infirmary, dear," Kadowaki said. "Seifer told me about what you're trying to do for Rinoa. I want to help, if I can."

Quistis looked at Seifer again, her brows knitted. Seifer defended, "I had to tell her. No choice."

Quistis slowly nodded, fending off a wave of dizziness. "Okay. You can help, if you want."

"Good," replied Kadowaki. "First thing I'm going to do is have you stay here overnight, so we can make sure you're ok. And no classes tomorrow." She held up her hand to ward of Quistis' attempt to argue. "Just to be safe, Quistis. You've always pushed yourself too hard, as long as I've known you. And about your…experiments, just let me know when you want to try again, and we can do it here, instead of your apartment. Under my care, and with my assistance. What do you say?"

Quistis nodded again. "Sounds good, Doctor."

*   


Quistis lowered her hands as the energy flowing from her fingertips faded. There, on the examination table, was another body created for Rinoa. Like the one before, it had a nearly perfect face, now with a full head of hair, but the body was still featureless, like that of a life-sized doll.

Kadowaki scanned the body up and down, recording and processing the results. She shook her head. "It's quite unusual. It's like the body's in some kind of stasis. No indications of life, but no cellular breakdown of the type that occurs during death. None that I'm familiar with, anyway. It almost looks like some kind of template…"

As she spoke, bright blue beams began dancing around the body, and as they did so, the body dematerialized right before their eyes. Quistis sighed heavily and slapped her hand on the table.

Kadowaki tilted her head. "Spontaneous dematerialization. Almost like it can't survive on its own for more than a handful of seconds."

"So what do we do?" asked Quistis, catching her breath. "I can't constantly keep pouring energy into it. I just _can't_."

"I don't know, dear," Kadowaki said. "There is the possibility that _that_ may be what is required. We don't have enough data from your battle with Ultimecia to ascertain exactly how she created and supported that creature."

Quistis sighed. "Maybe I'm just not powerful enough."

"Or maybe you just haven't had enough time to learn how to use your powers," Seifer replied.

Quistis shook her head. "Rinoa was able to use great power very shortly after she got them. You never saw it, Seifer, but in battle, she had the ability to fly, and to cast endless strings of magic, even if it wasn't in her stock. I haven't done anything nearly that powerful, and it's been months longer than that."

Seifer sighed. "Quisty, I…"

"Doctor?"

All heads turned to the door to see Squall sticking his head in, looking at all three of them. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but your assistant said I could come right in. I wanted to set up Lexie's physical."

Kadowaki grimaced, silently vowing to have harsh words with her assistant. "I'm actually tied up right now, Squall. Can you come back later?"

"Quisty? Seifer? Is everything all right?" Squall, ignoring Kadowaki, stepped further into the room.

"Fine," said Seifer quickly.

"Yes, everything's fine, Squall. Are you worried or something?" Quistis tried to keep her voice casual.

Squall blew some air from his lips. "I think you guys are keeping something from me."

Seifer and Quistis shook their heads "no". Squall put a hand to his forehead. _They're pretty bad liars._ "Can I have a word with you guys later?"

"Uh, sure, okay," said Seifer. Quistis shot him a look, but he shrugged.

"Okay. Come see me when you have a minute." Squall, again eyeing them all suspiciously, backed out of the room and closed the door.

"'Sure?'" Quistis chided Seifer.

"He's already suspicious," Seifer replied. "He'd be more suspicious if we said 'no'."

Quistis groaned. "Just how are we going to keep him from finding out?"

"Maybe you should tell him," Kadowaki interjected. Quistis and Seifer both looked at her quizzically. Kadowaki shrugged. "You can't keep him and Rinoa in the dark forever, especially since what you're doing will have such a great impact on their lives. Maybe it's time you told him. Maybe he can help."

Quistis looked at Seifer, who raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. She sighed heavily. "I guess we'll tell him. Doesn't look like we have a choice anymore."

*   


Squall took another sip of his coffee as he read through one of several request dockets. SeeD was becoming quite popular again after Galbadia's President Caraway had made an official call granting clemency SeeD for its role in the deaths of Galbadian soldiers during the Second Sorceress War. It had been a bold step for Caraway, but the Galbadian people had grown tired of their being ostracized by the world for their past imperialism. And from what Squall knew of the man, Caraway was a slave to the polls. 

The only condition to the clemency was that Galbadia Garden must stay within the Western Continent at all times, as a first line of defense for Galbadia. Cid and the other Headmasters had reluctantly accepted the condition; it was a privately revealed condition of the agreement that they must accept it to continue operating in Galbadia. They had been careful to remind Caraway that SeeD had no national allegiances, but did not desire to give up the strategically important Galbadia site.

Emboldened by what he felt was a personal victory, Caraway had begun to hire SeeD often, to act as backup to his personal guard. Despite Caraway's public attempts to polish his nation's image, he was still in the crosshairs of many reactionary extremists from around the world. He also knew that, compared to SeeD, his military was nothing short of an inexperienced rabble.

The one docket Squall happened to be perusing was, in fact, a direct request from "The Office of the President of Galbadia". Squall skimmed the paper, passing over the standard contract material, and came to a separate line, typed in bold text, that read, "No gunblade experts desired." Squall frowned and tossed the paper back onto his desk. That line had been in every single request SeeD had received from Caraway. It had always been on its own separate line, printed darker than most of the rest of the docket.

Squall rubbed the bridge of his nose. _Caraway obviously still hates me. He probably will until the day he dies. And from what Rinoa tells me, he's not too fond of Seifer either, after their little "fling" all those years ago. _He chortled. _Kill two birds with one sentence. Damned political…_

His intercom beeped, interrupting his internal diatribe. Squall frowned more deeply and thumbed the button. "Yes?"

_"Hey, Squall, let us in,"_ came back Zell's voice. Squall arched his eyebrows. _Zell never lets Bowler announce him. He usually just…wait…"us"?_

"Are Seifer and Quistis with you?"

He received no response, except for his office door opening slightly. Squall rolled his eyes. _Why the hell'd he bother asking?_

"Yo, Squall, we gotta talk to you!" Zell poked his head in like a child who knew he'd interrupted his father at work.

"We _who?_"

The door opened the rest of the way, admitting Zell, Seifer, and Quistis. Squall had all but forgotten that he'd asked to speak with Quistis and Seifer. He stood up and said, "I said I wanted to talk to you, but…why do I get the feeling I'm about to be ambushed?"

"Relax, Squall," said Seifer, pulling up a chair for Quistis. "We've got something important to discuss. It can't wait any longer."

Before Squall could reply, Quistis sat down, saying, "It's something about you and Rinoa."

Squall stared at her as his heart sank. _What is it this time? Is something wrong? Again?_

Once Zell closed the door, he bounded back over to Squall's desk and flopped down into a chair. Seifer rolled his eyes at him as he pulled up his own chair. 

Squall looked back and forth at his friends. Their silence only served to intensify the burning he felt in the pit of his stomach. Finally, he raised his hands and said, "Well? _What about me and Rinoa?_"

Seifer finally spoke up. "We think we have a way to give Rinoa a body."

Squall snapped his gaze toward Seifer. "W-what?"

Zell piped up, "I thought of it! Ya see, it's like this…"

"Squall," Quistis interrupted, "do you remember what we discovered during our battle with Ultimecia?"

"I'm not following."

Zell started again, "Well, ya see…"

Quistis interjected, "She created the false GF, Griever, to battle us. Do you remember that?" 

Squall closed his mouth. Memories of how his own fantasy had been used against him and his friends, almost to their demise, still haunted him. "She read it from my mind. Isn't that what you said when you scanned the creature?"

Quistis nodded. "Yes and no. At the time, I didn't go into detail, because we were in a dire situation and were fighting for our lives. But my scan showed that Griever wasn't just an illusion. It was a living, breathing monster. As if it had been spawned on the moon like any other monster."

"So, what you're saying is that Ultimecia had the ability to create a living creature? I find that kind of hard to believe." Squall crossed his arms and leaned forward in his chair.

"It was what I observed, and what I put in my report. I'd just forgotten, I guess for the same reason we all forgot our common childhood." Quistis rubbed her hands over her stomach, unconsciously soothing her nerves.

Squall squinted at her. "What's your point? Ultimecia's dead; I was there when she died."

"Yes, she _is_ dead. When she died, she passed her powers onto Matron. Matron passed those powers onto Rinoa. Rinoa passed them onto me. _I_ have those powers now." Quistis leaned forward, staring Squall in the eye.

Squall replied, "So, you're saying you can create a monster for Rinoa to exist inside?"

Seifer sighed loudly. "Squall, stop taking things so damn literally for once, okay?"

"Squall, I can create a new body for Rinoa. One that's identical to the one she lost months ago. She can be alive again." 

"Look, Rinoa and I…"

"'Are as happy as can be', we know," Quistis stated. "Yes, we can see just how happy you two are to gave each other and that everything is just hunky-dory. But what you don't know is that we _see_ you and Rinny, Squall. You both ache so much to hold each other that pain practically radiates out from you. We know you need to be together. Really together. We're going to do everything we can to make it happen."

Squall leaned back in his chair, his arms falling limp in his lap. "Why didn't you guys tell us about this before?"

"Because we knew you'd say no." Seifer leaned forward and stared right into Squall's eyes. "Like you just tried to."

Squall refused to back down from Seifer's piercing gaze, but conceded the argument. "I can't stop you, can I?"

"Squall, we all can see how much you and Rinoa need to be together. Not just in spirit. _In reality._" Quistis stroked her stomach. "We're going to keep trying, because we know that, deep down, it's what you both want. You're not very good at hiding it."

Squall sighed and closed his eyes. _They're right. I guess we have been showing how alone we feel. But…can they really do it? And would something like this somehow hurt Rinoa? I can't bear to put her through any more pain. Still…_ After a moment's hesitation, "Okay, I'll talk to Rinoa, and see what she says about it."

"Good," Seifer replied. "We've gone to all this trouble, you'd damn well better accept it."

Squall raised an eyebrow. "Yes, sir," he retorted.

*   


"I…I just can't believe this," Rinoa said.

"I know," Squall replied, turning the corner toward the Infirmary.

"Squall, does she really think she can do it?"

"She _thinks_ she can," Squall said. "What do _you_ think?"

Rinoa shook her head. "I never tried anything this extensive. I…guess she has the power, but…I just don't know. And I'm trying to imagine what Lexie will think about all this, when we tell her."

_If we tell her,_ Squall thought. "They want to do it for all three of us." The Infirmary door opened automatically, and Squall stepped inside. The door closed on Rinoa, but she just continued walking through it. "Actually, they insist."

"I guess I'll have to get used to actually using doors again, if it works." She smiled.

Kadowaki turned around. She was standing at the back of the Infirmary, near the door to the back rooms. "Good, I'm glad you came. Maybe you can help, Rinoa. You had these powers longer than Quistis has." 

Rinoa shook her head. "I never tried anything like this. Edea, Adel, Ultimecia…they all did spectacular things because they had decades of experience. I know. I still have some of their memories." She pointed to her temple. "But I can't think of anything in here that can help."

The three of them entered the back hall and walked to the examination room, where Quistis, Seifer, Zell, and Edea were waiting around an examination table.

"Edea?" Rinoa said. "You were in on this too?"

Edea smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I am now. They just told me yesterday, and I came here posthaste. I suppose they figured I could be of some help."

"Hey, Rinoa!" waved Zell. "Ready for some fireworks?"

Seifer, who was standing next to Zell, smacked him in the back of the head. "Can't you take this a little more seriously?"

Zell spun around and shifted to a fighting stance. "Frickin' hell! Ya wanna piece of me? I still outrank ya, you know!" Seifer rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

Quistis, who had been standing silently with her eyes closed, cleared her throat. "If you two children are done fighting, I think I'm ready to go."

"Okay," replied Rinoa. "What do you need me to do?"

*   


The blue light faded away, allowing everyone to uncover their eyes. On the table, as before, lay a mannequin-looking body with Rinoa's head.

Quistis, breathing heavily, nodded at Rinoa. Quickly, Rinoa stuck a hand into the body and closed her eyes. Her ghostly form began to fade and sputter, and her brows knitted in concentration. 

Squall put a finger to his temple and squinted his eyes. Zell, noticing his abrupt movement, looked over at him and said, "Hey, you okay?" Squall waved him off and tried to watch.

Seconds went by, but nothing more happened. Everyone's breath caught in their throats. Only the sound of Kadowaki's scanner broke the eerie silence.

Suddenly, the body's arm jumped. Everyone except for Quistis and Rinoa started.

"Is…is it working?" asked Zell. No one answered his question; all were too mesmerized by the sheer magnitude of what they were accomplishing.

However, within seconds of Zell's question, waves of blue and gold energy reappeared over the body's surface, and began to vaporize it. Squall shot toward it and Rinoa, but Seifer stepped into path, grabbing his shoulders. "No, don't!"

"Rinoa!" Squall shouted, the pain in his head worsening. He reached his hand out to the fading ghost. "Rinoa, get out of there!" He twisted to get around Seifer, but the larger man had Squall in a firm grip.

"Don't touch it, Squall! That's hot enough to burn you!" Seifer held him tightly.

Suddenly, they heard a sharp cry, and then silence as the body was finally consumed by its own energies.

Squall stared dumfounded at the now-empty metal table. Rinoa had completely vanished. He stretched out his mind, listening for even the tiniest whimper. He felt nothing. "No…she's…"

Just as he said that, there was heavy breathing from up above. Everyone turned their attention toward the ceiling, just in time to see a human silhouette materialize. Rinoa floated face down in mid-air, gasping for her metaphysical breath.

"Rin! Are you okay?" shouted Squall.

"That…that was…amazing…" Rinoa managed.

"What?" asked Squall. "But I felt…pain…"

Rinoa turned her head up toward Squall. "I…I could _feel_. For a second, I could feel the world. The cool air on my skin. I felt my fingers move. Squall, I was _alive_!" Slowly, she twisted into an upright standing position and floated down so that her feet appeared to be flat on the floor. Her image began to fade briefly, but then re-solidified.

"Are you okay?" Squall repeated.

Rinoa nodded. "I'm fine. Just a little winded, I guess. I couldn't hold on for more than a few seconds, but it was just so…wonderful."

Quistis sighed as she fell into Seifer's arms. "I've never been able to make it last for more than a few seconds. How can I make you a permanent body if I can't get this to work?"

"Well, I don't know how to describe this, but when I was getting inside the body, I felt something pushing me out." Rinoa put her hands to her hips. "I didn't resist it, because I didn't expect it. It was kind of like getting punched in the stomach when you don't know it's coming."

"But Rinny, who knows what would have happened to you if…" Quistis trailed off.

"Quisty, I didn't know what to expect. Now I do, and I think that if I steel myself when I first go in, I might be able to hold it together longer."

"Um, guys," interrupted Zell, "I don't know if you guys noticed, but the body, it didn't have any…you know…" He cupped his hands over his chest, mimicking breasts. "It was missing stuff."

Seifer looked ready to smack Zell in the head again. Quistis blocked his hand and shook her head. "First of all, I don't know what her body looked like underneath her clothes. Second, it's all I can do just to make her head look like it did."

"Look, if the cost of my being alive again is losing some…body parts, I'll gladly accept it." Rinoa looked at Squall. She had difficulty reading his expression, but could guess his feelings. She shared them. _We may never be able to make love again,_ she thought to him. _Not in the same way. That'd be one thing I will truly miss._

Squall remained silent. He would be overjoyed to have Rinoa alive, and solid, again. However, he worried for her, more than her missing body parts related to pleasure, but that some she needed to function would be missing as well. "Are there any other body parts that were missing?" He looked at Kadowaki.

Kadowaki shrugged. "I couldn't do that thorough an examination in such a short time. I can't say for sure."

"What's to say the body could even survive?" Squall asked.

"It wouldn't be a 'body' in the traditional sense, Squall," said Edea. "It would be solid, but held together by Quistis' powers. Because Rinoa's presence in this world is based on those powers, she should be able to not just control it, but take full possession of it, as if it were her own body. It would be a 'vessel', if you will, that would be a new home for her soul, and allow her to permanently relocate herself to this world."

Squall crossed his arms. "And you know this for sure?"

Edea shook her head. "I do not. However, it's the best theory we have, and I believe it had a chance of working."

"Squall," Rinoa said gently. "Please, Matron knows better than any of us just what is possible with Quisty's powers."

Squall looked away, a mixture of shame, frustration, and worry coiling itself around his intestines. "I didn't mean it to sound like that."

Edea tilted her head. "Squall, it's all right. You worry for not only Rinoa's future, but your daughter's, as well as your own. Although I have never heard of such an undertaking, I believe it can be done."

Squall nodded. "I'm sorry, Matron."

Edea smiled gently. "You are all my children. If I could have carried children in my womb, I would have wished that my birth children would be exactly like all of you. That includes you, Rinoa. You have all enriched my life."

Squall and Seifer both looked away shyly, the compliment being so unexpected. Zell, Quistis, and Rinoa all wore big, grateful smiles.

"Now," Edea continued, "let's not give up! My Garden hasn't trained you to surrender when things don't work. We will keep working at this, and we will do everything within our abilities to make it possible."

Rinoa nodded emphatically, followed by Quistis. Zell shot a triumphant fist into the air, and Seifer smirked confidently.

They all then looked at Squall, who had one hand on his hip, and his head turned to the side.

"Squall?" Rinoa stepped into his line of sight.

Squall took in a deep breath, and said, "Are you sure you won't get hurt in case it doesn't work next time?"

Rinoa nodded emphatically. "Definitely." _At least, I think not,_ she thought to herself. _But I have to try, don't I?_

"Okay," Squall conceded. "Then let's get you a new body."


	20. Chapter 19: Moment Of Truth

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and all that is related (even its weird uncle nobody talks about) belong to SquareSoft. I am receiving no financial or material rewards for having written this.

  
  
  


Chapter 19: Moment Of Truth  
Setting: Balamb Garden Infirmary  
Two weeks later

  
  


Quistis sat down, her eyes squeezed shut in frustration. Rinoa's form floated overhead as she tried to regain her senses.

"Three minutes," Quistis breathed. "Rinny, any luck?"

"Nope." Rinoa floated back down to the floor. "It's almost like something is keeping me from holding onto it. But I can't figure out what it is, or how to hold my own against it. It seems…familiar, though…"

"Familiar how?" Squall asked.

Rinoa shook her head as she sat onto the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. "I didn't mean to say that out loud. It's just…something weird. Maybe I just need to keep working on getting stronger."

Squall gave Rinoa a concerned look. She stared back at him, halfway between apology and frustration. Quistis sighed. "Well, anyway, I don't think I have the energy to try it again tonight. I'm sorry, guys."

"Don't worry about it, Quisty. You've already done so much for us, I can't even begin to thank you." Rinoa smiled at her friend.

"How about a foot rub?" Quistis asked with a tired smile. 

"Isn't that Seifer's job?" asked Squall matter-of-factly. Seifer grimaced at him, his arms crossed. Squall just looked right back, one eyebrow arched. He then winked, eliciting a response of surprise from Seifer.

"I think I just want to go home for now," Quistis said.

Seifer nodded, his eyes still set on Squall. "Yeah, let's go. See you guys later." He brushed a hair out of Quistis' face and led her out the door.

Once they passed Kadowaki's desk, Seifer said, "Quisty, notice anything…funny, about Squall?"

Quistis shrugged. "I wasn't really paying attention. Why? Something wrong?"

"I don't know. He just seems a little less…_stiff_, than usual."

"Maybe he's finally learning to loosen up," Quistis sighed. She didn't particularly want to think about Squall. She was far too tired, and just wanted to go home and rest for a while.

"Maybe," Seifer said. "I'd think he'd be a little more nervous, though."

Quistis shrugged. "If something's bothering him, it's between Rinny and himself right now. There's nothing we can do about it, and frankly, I don't have the energy to worry about him right now."

"Okay, okay," Seifer said. He kept silent for the rest of their trip back home.

Back in the Infirmary, Doctor Kadowaki checked Rinoa over as she made notes on her clipboard.

"You sure you're all right?" Kadowaki asked.

"Sure, I'm fine. It does hurt, but I don't think it's permanently damaging anything. If I have anything to damage," Rinoa chuckled wryly.

"Nah, you're tough, you'll be fine." Squall smirked. Rinoa looked at him questioningly, but he just shrugged and smiled.

Kadowaki made some final notes, and then tucked the clipboard under her arm. "Okay. We can try again whenever you and Quistis are ready. Let me know, and I'll be here."

Squall nodded and smiled more politely. "Thanks, Doc." He walked out the door, Rinoa close behind.

Rinoa ran ahead of Squall, trying to get a look at his face. He stopped, looked down at her, and asked, "What?"

"Squall, are you okay?" 

Squall shrugged. "Fine. Why do you ask?"

"Well, you seem unusually…cheerful, especially for you." Rinoa bit her lower lip. "I mean, you were a nervous wreck before, and now, you're fine?" She put her hands to her hips.

"Why shouldn't I be?" he asked. "We're going to get you a new body. Just some minor setbacks. But it'll happen." He started walking again, and Rinoa followed after.

She wrinkled her nose in thought. She had seen Squall sad, angry, happy, and indifferent, and sometimes more than one of those at a time. But she could never remember him being in so much denial that he actually put on a false face of over cheerfulness. _Maybe I'm just imagining things. But this is Squall, Mister Stoic. And he never wants to bother anyone else with his problems. Even me._ She had a pretty good idea of the pain he was going through, but as always, he was doing his best to hide it. She didn't know what she could do about it now, except to just take him at face value and try to work an admission of his pain out of him. It had always worked before. She sighed. "Okay, sorry. Just thinking about you, is all."

"It's fine," Squall replied. "I have to go to the office for a little while tonight, but I want to have dinner with you and Lexie, if you don't mind."

"Love it," Rinoa replied with a forced smile. He never made plans to have dinner with his family on nights he had to work late. Squall was hiding something. Something that shook him down to his very soul. _He doesn't want to worry me, but he's scared. I know it. He knows I'm at least as nervous about it as he is._ She desperately wanted to pressure him, to force him to let his feelings out to her. But she knew she couldn't do that; he was too headstrong, and would only end up getting angry with her.

She took solace in the fact that she knew Squall, and that eventually she would get him to share his true feelings with her. It would just take her a while.

*   


Rinoa meandered down Garden's main corridor, getting polite nods and smiles from students and Instructors alike. 

She returned the gestures to the best of her ability, but found herself at a loss. Her students were at lunch with the assistant Instructor. She couldn't eat, and today felt that she needed a walk during lunch hour, away from them all. Why, she didn't know. But despite the fact that she was constantly apprehensive about their attempts at wizardry beyond all known conventions, she was even more concerned about how Squall was handling this pressure. She had more on her mind than she cared to think about, and she needed some type of distraction. 

Her feet seemed to have a mind of their own, and they eventually carried her to the Cafeteria. She glanced around, half-aware of the people around her. One particularly young student asked her if she was all right. Rinoa forced a smile and nodded, and walked off.

"Rinny?"

Rinoa stopped in her tracks. She turned her head, and saw Quistis standing behind her, wearing a concerned frown.

"Oh, hi, Quisty," Rinoa replied, turning her body around. Quistis was not the person she needed to see for a distraction from her problems.

"Are you okay?" Quistis crossed her arms.

"Mhmm, fine…no, not really, I guess," Rinoa's mental energy was not of the capacity to put up a pretense for her closest friend. _I suppose Quisty's the best help I can get right now._

"Want to talk about it?"

Rinoa shook her head. "You have a class to get back to, don't you?"

"I have another twenty minutes," Quistis replied. "I just finished eating. Want to take a walk?"

"Sure," Rinoa replied emptily, shrugging. She followed Quistis' lead out of the Cafeteria.

Through the corridor, Quistis and Rinoa walked side-by-side. Quistis looked over at her friend, able to tell that the younger woman was depressed. Quistis hadn't seen her this depressed since they'd first met in the Crossroad, right after she'd died. Rinoa wasn't sure she'd be able to see Squall or Alexa again, and had been quite distressed. _Maybe this is all just too much for her. Maybe we're doing the wrong thing. I shouldn't have pushed them so hard. _

They reached a small recreational area on the western side of Garden, just off the Infirmary hallway. The area had a few benches, grass, and neatly arranged flowers. A rather unimaginative student had dubbed it "Garden's Garden" several years before. However, the name had stuck, and "Garden's Garden" became a favorite for people looking for a quiet place to talk or to study, when the stuffy, closed-in library wasn't as desirable.

Quistis motioned to an open bench and sat down. Rinoa sat down through the bench, and then rose up so that it appeared she was sitting on the bench itself. She clutched her knees to her chin, giving the illusion that her heels rested on the bench.

"So, what's on your mind?" Quistis asked.

Rinoa sighed. "It's Squall."

Quistis had known the answer. She had noticed his strange behavior, and as she had mulled over it, had herself become concerned about him. Still, to give Rinoa a chance to vent her feelings, she asked, "What about him?"

"I think he's really upset about something. Well, I know what that something is, but he's just holding it all in." Rinoa turned her head to face Quistis and rested her cheek on her bare knees.

"Typical Squall."

"Yeah, I know," Rinoa replied, "but also…he acts really cheerful, almost more than I've ever seen him."

Quistis nodded. "Hmm."

"What?"

"Seifer mentioned something about Squall seeming unusual, the other night. Like he wasn't 'nervous' enough. Actually, that he was too, well, happy." Quistis pushed an errant strand of hair out of her face.

"Good, then I'm not the only one who noticed," Rinoa replied.

"He's probably under a lot of stress," Quistis said. "I can't think of what you could do to help him, though. I used to know him pretty well, but he's a lot different now. More adult, and a lot more complex."

Rinoa sighed again. "Yeah. But the thing is, I've never seen him like this. I've seen him mask his emotions before, but never swing so far the other way. I just…don't know what I can do for him."

"Be there for him," Quistis replied. She pursed her lips, almost afraid to say the next sentence. "I think he's afraid what might happen…if…"

"…if it doesn't work, and I somehow get ejected from the living world?" Rinoa buried her face in the crook between her knees.

"Yeah," Quistis said, turning away. "I don't think that'll happen but…"

"…it's a possibility.," Rinoa completed. "I'm afraid too. But I haven't told Squall how much it would mean to me to be able to touch him again. To live in this world for real. But I don't want to lost him any more than he wants to lose me." Rinoa clutched her legs more tightly to her chest.

"We've just go to be careful, is all," Quistis said.

Rinoa then chuckled. "Actually, if I could at least change _something_, I wish I could change clothes for him." She laughed, resting her chin on her knees. "I'm sure he'd be happier to see me in my good old blue duster and black bodysuit rather than this same old uniform every day."

Quistis smiled. "Yeah, a change would be nice, I guess. And…I always thought that outfit of yours was cute."

Rinoa giggled. "Thanks, Quisty. I bought it in Timber shortly before I met all of you."

"Problem is, I can't remember what it looks like, it's been so long." Quistis stared at Rinoa, trying to visualize her in her old clothing. 

"I see it in the closet all the time…" Rinoa started, looking toward the sky.

Suddenly, before the Instructor's eyes, Rinoa changed. Her image flashed bright white for an instant, and once the light faded, Rinoa appeared to be wearing the very outfit they had just been discussing.

"…Squall never took it out, but I just can't imagine myself wearing it," Rinoa finished.

"Uh, Rinny?" Quistis asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"What?" Rinoa asked softly.

"Tell me I'm hallucinating," Quistis said.

"Huh?" Rinoa looked at her.

Quistis eyes were open wide, and they were staring back at her. "Because I…uh, I can swear that you're wearing that outfit we were just talking about."

"Quisty, are you okay? What are…you…my…_God_!" Rinoa sprung up from her seated position, standing about two feet in the air. She looked herself over, her mouth hanging open. Somehow, she was suddenly wearing the old blue outfit she and Quistis had been talking about. The arm warmers were there, as were her bodysuit, blue denim skirt, and even the black ribbon she'd started wearing on her left arm when she'd joined the Timber Owls. She no longer wore the calf-length SeeD uniform boots, and instead had on her own over-the-ankle boots, with the buckle strap in the center. 

She then realized she was floating in midair, and levitated herself downward until her feet were back on the ground. Various students stared at her, but she didn't care. She stared at Quistis. "How did you…_did_ you?" She stared at the blonde Instructor, at a loss for any more words.

Quistis looked back at her, unable to believe her eyes. "I…I…was just trying to remember you in that outfit and…there was a flash of light, and you changed."

Rinoa looked herself over again. "Do it again," she said. "Try…my wedding dress, this time."

"I…I don't remember it really well, but I'll try." Quistis blinked, unsure what was about to happen. If she had suddenly found a new power, it had blindsided her. As the rest of her powers had manifested themselves after much practice and help from Rinoa, this was quite a shock to her.

She shut her eyes, searching in her memory for an image of Rinoa's wedding. She finally came upon the first dance Rinoa and Squall had shared. Quistis had thought it so beautiful, and she had been so happy for her friends, that she'd burned that moment into her brain. For the briefest of moments, a warmth spread over her soul, as she remembered what a wonderful day it had been.

Rinoa looked down from Quistis' closed eyes to the Sorceress' hands. They began to glow faintly in the bright sunlight. Suddenly, a flash of light traveled from Quistis' hands to Rinoa. She felt a quick spark like a static shock, and then looked down and gasped. She was in her wedding dress. The details weren't all the same, but it was very close to the real thing.

"Quisty…you did this." Rinoa tried to keep her breathing even.

"I…I did?" Quistis replied, also trying to keep her breath. "My God. All I did was think about your wedding day, and how wonderful it was."

Rinoa fingered the material. It felt so real to her, and brought back all the pleasant memories from what was one of the happiest times of her life. Then, she gasped. "Wait, you don't suppose…" She stared wide-eyed at the fellow Instructor.

"Suppose what?" Quistis asked.

"That this is how it can work?"

*   


"We've been going about this the wrong way!" Rinoa, now back in her blue duster, exclaimed excitedly. "Quisty was trying to create something, and then I would take control of it. But that won't work, because, essentially, _I'm_ a creation of her powers, too, but also totally different. One can't control the other. It's like drops of oil in a glass of water. They look like they can become one if you mix them hard enough, but they'll eventually separate again."

"Instead," Quistis dictated, "What I need to do is, in a way, _complete_ my creation of Rinoa. I held back her soul, creating it enough of a life force to remain out of the afterlife. But if I'd done it intentionally, I could have given her a totally new physical form, with the ability to fully exist in our world."

"So it's like relativity, where you can exchange energy for matter?" Zell crossed his arms.

Everyone looked at Zell, surprised. He shrugged. "What? I paid attention in class too, ya know!"

"Actually, kind of, yeah! Anyway," Rinoa continued, "if Quisty concentrates on _completing_ my transformation, that's how I can get a new body!"

Squall stared at them for a moment, his features frozen. Finally, he said, "Wait, I have a question," his cheerful demeanor suddenly a memory. "You're going to use your powers directly on Rin, correct?"

Quistis nodded.

"What's to say they won't cause some kind of backlash and rob Rinoa of what she has?"

Silence fell like a heavy blanket over the room. A realization suddenly set in for everyone. They could give Rinoa new life, but in the process, risked killing her. This time, maybe for good.

"Squall, she'll be very careful…" Rinoa started.

"What about Lexie. What about me? What will we do without you, Rin?" Squall's voice was gaining momentum, as he began to feel panic well up in his chest.

"You're acting like something bad _will_ happen! We've been together on borrowed time, Squall," Rinoa said, standing inches from Squall, staring into his eyes. "No matter what, I'll always be with you and Lexie. You know that. But…" she trailed off.

"What? What is it?"

Rinoa sighed. "Squall, I haven't told you this, but this is killing me. Being with you and Lexie, but not being able to hold either of you. It's almost like a nightmare that I can't wake up from."

Squall stared blankly at her. He knew, somehow, he knew that was how she felt. Perhaps he had just been in denial. But…to lose her completely…

"Rinoa, come in here for a moment, please." He gestured toward the empty maternity ward. He walked into the small room, allowing Rinoa to follow him inside before closing the door.

"Squall, what? Are you going to yell at me or something?" She placed her hands at her hips.

Squall shook his head dejectedly. "No. I have no reason to. I…I just can't say what I want to say in front of everyone." He walked away from her and looked out the window. Rinoa watched him expectantly.

"I…I don't know what I'd do, without you, Rin." Squall's voice became shaky, as if he were fighting back tears. Rinoa walked up to his side, trying to look at his face. He turned away. "This is the first time, since I first lost you in the accident…that I'm truly afraid that I'll never see you again."

"Squall," Rinoa quietly said, "I don't want to lose you and Lexie either. But I'd rather take the chance on being here all the way, then only being a phantom that hides in the shadows."

"You're exaggerating."

"Not really," Rinoa replied. "Squall, I'm only as good as a hologram to you in this state."

Squall turned to her, his eyes glassy and brows furrowed. "Is that what you really think you are to us?"

Rinoa looked into his eyes for a moment, and then turned away. She shook her head lightly.

"Have you thought about what will happen to me and Lexie if something happens to you?" Squall's throat was tight, and his eyes burned. "She needs a mother too. She needs _you_."

"I know she does. But what about Jett? He didn't get a second chance. He didn't even get a first chance. If something happens to me, I'll be with him. And he and I both will be watching over you and Lexie." Rinoa stepped through Squall's body, trying to get a look at his face.

Her heart melted when she finally saw it. Squall was crying. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, and his lips were pressed together. She felt a rush in her head, ad he finally released the dam that had been holding his true emotions inside through this whole "body" ordeal. Squall leaned forward on the window sill, barely able to stand on his quivering knees

"I can't stand losing you again, Rin," he whispered between sobs. "Last time, I almost killed myself."

Rinoa gasped. "What?" she breathed

Squall shook his head. "Right after you died, I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even _think_. All I knew was all the times I'd taken you for granted. All the times I'd…nearly gotten you killed, and how much I truly wanted to be with you."

"But…but Lexie…" Rinoa started, unable to finish the sentence.

"She was the one thing that kept me from doing it," Squall replied. He smirked audibly, tears still running. "Some great Commander, huh? Look at me." He smacked his fist hard into the windowsill, and then grimaced at the sudden pain that shot up his wrist.

Rinoa held her hands out, placing them at his cheeks. She mimicked wiping his tears away, but didn't try to stop her own that were now beginning to flow.

"I can't hold you, Squall." Rinoa's voice trembled. She sniffed back a sob. "This is like I'm talking to you over the telephone from the moon, and I can never get back. But it's worse, because I'm so close…and I can't touch you. I can't touch Lexie. You're both so close, but so far away. It's like torture. I'd…I'd almost rather be completely dead than have to live like this too much longer. I'll go mad, Squall. I can't give you and Lexie what you need. What you deserve. I'd rather take the risk of losing you completely, than just having you part way."

Squall squeezed his eyes shut, forcing more tears to drip down onto his blue jacket. He looked down at it, fingering the material. "I know, Rin. Somehow, I just knew that was how you felt. I just couldn't help but deny it. Having you back was a dream come true, but I tried to ignore…how much it hurt…that I couldn't…couldn't touch you." He looked into her eyes. "I still have my old jacket in the bottom of the closet. I never cleaned it. I never wanted to. This one I'm wearing, it was from you. That's why it's so special. That's why I wear it so much. Because I thought maybe, somehow, it would let me hold you again, even just in my dreams."

Rinoa's tears flowed freely, yet she smiled. "Squall…" She could find no words to express what she felt.

Squall felt her feelings flow forth across their mind link. He understood what she was trying to say. "Rin, I love you. I always will. Even if…even if something happens and you're taken away from us…I'll always have part of you here." He held his hand to his heart.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few minutes, saying nothing, nor moving any muscle.

Outside the room, everyone waited patiently. "Man, what's going on in there?" Zell asked.

"I don't know," Seifer replied. "I don't hear any yelling, and Squall looked ready to explode."

"They just need some time to deal with this," Kadowaki said. "Squall's been holding his emotions in check for too long."

Quistis, understood perfectly why they had left the room. Squall rarely ever had emotional outbursts, and when he did, they were in private. "Let's just let them be, okay?"

Suddenly, the door opened. Squall and Rinoa stepped confidently back into the examination room, but everyone could see the slight redness under both their eyes. 

"Okay," Squall said with renewed confidence. "Let's do it. One condition, though," he emphasized. "I want Lexie with us when we do it. I want her to see what happens, and to…to see her mother one last time, in case something goes wrong."

Rinoa folded her hands behind her back. "And I want Selphie, Irvine, Xu, and Cid here. If I end up disappearing for good, I want them to know what happened, and I want to be able to see them all one last time." She drew in a slightly quivering breath, trying to calm her metaphysical nerves.

Quistis nodded and smiled. "Okay, then, Rinny. When everybody's here, we'll do it."

*   


Squall and Rinoa looked deeply into each other's eyes. _I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, Squall,_ Rinoa thought to him. _Scared of being lost to you again. Scared of losing you and Lexie._

_I know. I'm scared too,_ he admitted.

_But, I know I have to do this. For myself, as much as for you and Lexie._

Not wanting to add to her anxiety, Squall thought, _Well, I plan on taking you out for a first-class dinner of hot dogs tonight. Got the reservations and everything._

Rinoa put her hand to her mouth and giggled. _I can't stand you up now, can I?_ She then knelt down to Alexa. "Don't forget to cover your eyes, okay, sweetie? The light'll be _really_ bright."

Alexa nodded solemnly. Rinoa tilted her head. "Are you scared?" Alexa nodded again. "Don't worry. Aunt Quisty'll take good care of me. You and I will go on a walk later, and I'll pick you up on my shoulders to see the sunset. Okay?"

Alexa nodded. She wished she could give her mother a hug. Instead, she wrapped her arms around herself. "Promise?"

Rinoa winked. "I promise." She straightened herself up. "Okay guys," she said as she slapped her palms together. "I'm ready." 

"Good luck, Rinny!" Selphie squealed, leaping in front of her and nearly knocking Squall over.

"Yeah," said Irvine, stepping up beside his wife. "We'll see you in a few minutes, got it?"

"Got it, Irvy," Rinoa winked.

"Hey, Rinoa," Zell said as he and Xu stepped up to her. "Listen, uh…" He scratched the back of his head, and stumbled over a few unintelligible words.

"What he's trying to say is, good luck," Xu interrupted. Rinoa could see a tear starting to form in the elder woman's eye. "We'll all be praying for you."

"Thanks, guys. Hey, I'm gonna come see you in Trabia, right?" Rinoa asked.

"You bet, Rinny, you bet," Xu replied. She squeezed Zell's hand and started to lead him away. 

"No, wait," Zell said. He stopped and looked at Rinoa. "Look, uh, good luck. We'll be waiting right here for ya, okay?"

Rinoa nodded, smiling. "Okay, Zell. And…thanks, for everything."

Zell blushed and turned away. Xu led him away as Rinoa turned toward Cid and Edea.

"Rinoa, I wish you godspeed, and good luck. We definitely don't want to lose you again." Cid grinned.

"I'll do everything I can," Rinoa said. "I trust Quisty all the way."

Edea said nothing, and just looked at the floor.

"Edea?" Rinoa asked.

Edea sighed. "I just wish I could have spared you all this pain. I wish you hadn't had to have been the one to absorb my powers. Then none of this would have happened."

"It's okay, really," Rinoa replied. "They helped me grow up a lot, and they've given me a second chance at life. If I had everything to do over again, I wouldn't have changed a thing."

Edea nodded, and gave her a motherly hug and kiss. With a nod of thanks, Rinoa walked from her to Seifer. "Seifer, I know we haven't had the best history, but…" she faltered, unsure what she really wanted to say.

"I know," Seifer replied. "Me too."

Rinoa smiled. She nodded to him, and then to Quistis. "I'm ready."

"Okay," replied Quistis. She flexed her fingers and closed her eyes, drawing upon every fiber of her being to bolster her strength. Rinoa, meanwhile, lay down flat on the floor. She then floated up off the floor, slid across the air toward the examination table, and came to a stop a few centimeters above the tabletop.

"You better take good care of my mommy!" Alexa said, her hands to her hips, indignantly. Squall put a hand on her shoulder and hushed her.

"I promise, Lexie," Quistis replied without opening her eyes.

"Good!"

"All right," Quistis said, flexing her fingers. "Everyone cover your eyes. Rinoa…" Rinoa looked at Quistis. "I'll give you a big hug in a few minutes, okay?"

Rinoa smiled. "You bet, Quisty." She shut her eyes tightly, preparing herself for whatever was about to happen.

Quistis focused her mind. This was it. There would be no second chances if she did something wrong. She drew on every store of energy she could find in her body. As she aimed all her strength and will into one action, she released her minds inhibitions and began to bring images to her mind of the happiness they would all feel when Rinoa was fully alive and well before them. The giddiness those feelings produced helped clear her mind of her self-doubt.

Everyone watched as blue and gold energy bolts collected at Quistis' fingertips. Then, with a sharp snap, they leapt onto Rinoa. Rinoa grunted as the energies enveloped her, but willed herself to remain in the real living world, in their grip, and to not regress back to the Crossroad.

Squall's hands went to his temples again. He felt a throbbing pain, but held in any reaction to it. Rinoa's pain was increasing, he knew it. He only hoped that she would be able to bear it. _Is this what it feels like to be born?_ he asked himself. Although he couldn't remember his own birth, this pain felt vaguely familiar to him.

The powers exchange intensified, the brightness becoming blinding. Quistis pushed herself to what she knew as her limit, and then went beyond it. She forced herself past the barriers she had put up against the memories of generations of past Sorceresses. After she crossed that threshold, she found new strength and confidence she had never known she'd possessed. All the power she held, all of it to be used, to help her friend to live again.

_Fithos._

Her focus wavered for an instant, and Rinoa gave a high-pitched yelp. Quistis redoubled her efforts, focusing everything she had into Rinoa. She didn't even spare the thought to scold herself for her almost catastrophic distraction.

_Lusec._

The voice was deep, reverberating inside her head. She recognized the words as a chant, their origin and purpose unknown to her. However, Quistis ignored the voice to the best of her ability. She couldn't afford to let her concentration waver again. Rinoa's life depended on her.

_Wecos._

She pushed harder. She heard nothing but the crackling of the energies beneath her. She refused to fail.

_Vinosec._

_NO!_ her mind shouted. _That won't happen!_ She could feel a physical form taking shape in front of her, and she dared not stop. Not until every drop of her strength was exhausted.

Squall's head felt like it was about to explode. He clenched in both hands, trying to keep it from flying apart, but it did nothing to ease the intense throbbing. He fell to his knees and cried out, but with the loud crackling in the room, no one heard him.

He heard Rinoa cry out in his mind. He screamed again, more loudly this time.

And with a thud, it was over. Silence suddenly filled the room.

Squall collapsed onto all fours, and barely avoided falling face-first onto the floor. Quistis' hands fell to her side, and her legs gave way. Seifer caught her, and lowered her to the floor into his lap. Wisps of some kind of white smoke or steam rose from Quistis' hands.

Squall, out of breath, immediately stood. The pain had vanished from his head without a trace. He blinked for a second, shook his head to regain his orientation, and then looked at the table. Upon it lay a body. It had Rinoa's head, but the body, although naked, was featureless. It looked the same as all their previous attempts.

Squall ran up to the table and looked the body over, his heart stopped dead in his chest. "Rin? Rin, can you hear me?"

No reply. Not even a stir.

"Rinoa?"

He heard a gasp from someone behind him. He ignored it. _I'm not giving up on her that easily._ He reached out and touched the body's arms. They were hot to the touch, but not unbearably so. He clenched the shoulders in his hands. He felt no movement. He stretched out with his mind, trying to find hers.

Nothing.

"No…" he whispered. "C'mon, Rin, you can do it! Come back to me!"

He watched the body for what felt like hours, but saw no movement except that caused by his trembling hands. 

He clenched his teeth together and screamed out to her with his mind. _Rinoa! Wake up!_

He heard no response. 

Everyone else kept quiet. Selphie, who had been kneeling over Quistis with Xu, tried to run up to the table. However, Irvine held her back, muttering something into her ear. Cid and Edea were unable to hold Alexa back, though, and she ran up to the table and grabbed her mother's hand. "Daddy, is Mommy okay?"

Squall stared down at the body, unable to formulate a reply to the child. His face began to grow cold as he felt himself become light headed. He was going into shock. He had lost his angel once before, and it was starting to look like he'd lost her again. This time, for good. 

"No!" he shouted. He placed his fingers on the body's wrists, finding no pulse. He balled one hand up into a fist, placed it over the body's sternum, and covered it with the other hand. He made three quick chest compressions, and then lowered his cheek to her mouth.

Nothing.

He tilted her head back, covered her mouth with his own, and tried to breath air into her lungs. However, he couldn't force his breath into her. He examined her mouth, but finding no obstructions, tried again.

"She's choking!" he gasped after the second attempt failed.

"Squall, she may not even have lungs," Edea said. "We don't know this body's makeup. Resuscitation may not work on her."

"Squall, I don't think there's anything you can…" Cid said grimly.

"Dammit, stop standing there and help me! Please! She's not gone! She's not!" Squall cried, tears of frustration and anguish soaking his face. He continued doing chest compressions, pausing every few seconds to check for a pulse. He grunted with each thrust, channeling all his strength and his emotions into willing her body to live.

During one thrust, his elbows buckled and he practically collapsed on top of the body. He pushed himself back up into a standing position and stared down at the body. This was what he'd feared. He'd lost his angel. She was gone forever.

"Daddy?" Alexa said. Strangely, she seemed calm despite her father's outburst.

"Lexie…I…"Squall choked on his words. "I…I'm sorry…"

Just as his knees started to give way in defeat, he saw movement. He immediately pulled his hands away. "Lexie, let go of her!"

Alexa complied instantly, releasing the hand back onto the table. For a moment, the body lay still. Then, suddenly, Squall caught a glimpse of something in his peripheral vision. He looked down at the fingers of the left hand. The index finger twitched. Squall's heart leapt into his throat, and he laid his hand on the body's left hand. It stirred ever so slightly under his gentle grip.

Seconds later, he heard a ragged breath being drawn in from the mouth. The chest rose in spurts, and then fell again as the air was expelled. The body went motionless again.

"Come on," Squall murmured. "Please. Again."

Her chest rose again as another breath was drawn in through her mouth. Squall let out a sob of relief, and pressed his hands to his face, thanking whichever god was smiling upon them this day. Another breath came, this one smoother. And another. As Rinoa's breathing became more regular, Squall could see features begin to form on her body. He saw tiny hairs begin to sprout from her arms and her legs. Fingernails and toenails began to form. Her smooth, round breasts began growing small nubs in their centers, and a circular area of skin around those nubs started growing darker.

Quickly, Squall pulled off his jacket and threw it over her. However, as it was only a waist length, it only covered her bosom and stomach. He looked up at Kadowaki. "Blanket!" Kadowaki nodded and handed him one from a cart against the wall. He shook it open and draped it over Rinoa.

"What going on?" asked Selphie, rushing up to the tableside. Everyone else followed her in surrounding the body, all asking what was happening.

Edea smiled lightly, a sense of understanding entering her eyes. She laid her hand down on Rinoa's and cleared her throat. Everyone silenced. "Quistis could only create the solid form," Edea said gently. "Because this body is part of Rinoa, she's molding it to match her…well, needs. Just like she had to condition herself to be able to stay in the real world. She's conditioning the new body so she can live again."

"So…she's alive?" Irvine asked.

"Really?"squealed Selphie.

"Yeah! I knew it'd work!" Zell shouted. Xu shushed him, and he hung his head sheepishly.

Squall ignored their chatter, watching his wife's face intently. After a few more minutes, her lips quivered. He leaned over her, his face inches from hers. He could feel her hot breath on his cold cheeks. He drank in the air she expelled, reveling at how alive it felt to him.

"Daddy? Mommy's going to be okay, I know it. I can feel her." 

Squall glanced down at his daughter. Her eyes were wide and hopeful, and her hands were clenched in front of her nervously. "I…" he started.

"S…S…"

Squall turned back to the body as everyone silenced themselves again. Slowly, tiredly, Rinoa opened her new eyes, as if she were awakening from a long, deep sleep. Squall grasped her hand in his own. Her skin was cooler now, and almost felt normal. "Rin? Is that you? Can you hear me?" he asked shakily.

"S…S…all? Ssssssssaaaaallllll?" Her voice was drawn out and very slurred, as if she were trying to speak with a numb tongue. 

"I'm here, Rin. It worked. You're going to be okay."

Rinoa's breathing had become deep and regular. Squall placed one hand at her neck, and was quite surprised to feel a pulse. Edea was right. She was transforming the body, right down to the heartbeat.

"Rin, can you hear me?" Squall felt a dozen eyes on him as everyone watched and waited, silently, for her reply.

"C-ccchhhhaaaannnn'ssss…heeeeeaaaarrrrrr…yoooooooo…" Rinoa slurred, monotone.

_She responded,_ Squall thought. _She must be able to hear me, just not well. Hopefully it's temporary. Then again, even if it's not, at least she's alive._ Keeping his eyes trained on her face, he began to speak to her with his mind. _Rin, you're alive. It worked. You're going to be okay._

_Squall? So…tired…_

_Mommy!_ Alexa's mind cried out to them. _I can hear you again!_

Everyone watched Squall and Alexa look at Rinoa silently, without moving. "Huh? Hey, what are you guys doing?" Zell asked.

"They're talking, so shut up," Seifer said, holding Quistis' face in his hand. The blonde woman stirred, her eyes beginning to roll open.

"Huh? But they're not saying anything!"

"I'll explain later," Edea said.

Cid turned to Edea. She looked back at him and nodded knowingly. Cid smiled and pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"Did…did it…work?" Quistis breathed.

"Yeah, I think it did," Seifer whispered. "Don't worry about it now, Quisty. You've done a lot, and now you're gonna get some rest. You deserve it." He looked up at Kadowaki, who knelt in the spot abandoned by Selphie, waving a scanner over Quistis' head and chest.

"Good," Quistis replied, cuddling her face into Seifer's hand. "I need some rest." She closed her eyes, and fell fast asleep.

Seifer raised his eyebrows to Kadowaki. The doctor watched her device for a few more seconds, and then looked up at Seifer. "She just needs a good night's sleep and she'll be fine. Although I wouldn't rule out a vacation either."

Seifer smiled. Quistis had done what has been thought to be impossible. Maybe, finally everything would be over, and they could _both_ rest.

Squall continued staring at Rinoa, speaking to her telepathically. _I know you're tired, Rin, I know. But you're alive, and your body is getting stronger._ He tried to keep his emotional barriers up, but failed miserably. New tears rolled down his cheeks; these were tears of joy.

_I…love…you…my knight…and my lovely…wonderful daughter,_ came her faint voice.

Squall's eyes burned. _I love you too, Rin. I love you too._

_Me too!_ Lexie replied.

_You're going to be okay, Rin,_ Squall promised. 

_I…know,_ Rinoa replied. _I know…I will…because…you said I would._


	21. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy is the property of SquareSoft. Really. Not mine, it's SquareSoft's.

  
  
  


Epilogue

  
  


Squall's eyes shot open, and he snapped up from his pillow. His breath came in quick gasps, and he scanned the room frantically. 

After a moment, he relaxed his tense muscles. _I'm at home. This is _my_ bed._ He sighed with relief, and glanced to his right. That half of the bed was empty, the covers having been tossed over on top of Squall.

His eyes again wide with fear, he jumped out of bed. _Where is she?_ He pulled the door open and stepped out into the small hallway. He heard a light clinking in the other room. Stealthily, he slipped into the dining room and looked into the kitchen.

Standing there in her pink nightgown was his angel, alive and well. She looked to be doing something over the stove. From the delicious aroma, he guessed it involved some form of eggs and sausage. He released the breath he'd been holding in, and tried to force his heartbeat to return to normal.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he heard her say. "You gonna stand back there staring at me all morning?"

"Maybe," he replied, walking toward her. 

Rinoa turned her head toward him, and Squall felt a wave of warmth wash over his spirit. She was radiant this morning, as she was every morning. And every afternoon, evening, and night, for that matter. Her gleaming, raven-black hair caught the simulated sunbeam from the overhead "skylight", and her eyes sparkled with life and energy.

She said to him, "You sound out of breath. Are you okay?"

Squall nodded and smiled. _It had only been a dream._

"Good, because I made a breakfast that'd knock your socks off, if you happened to have them on." She winked.

Squall wrapped his arms around her and drew her into himself, clutching onto her dear warmth and taking in her scent. "God, I love you," he murmured in her ear. Her recovery had taken so long, but had been worth it. This body had finally become virtually indistinguishable from her original one.

"And I love you, my knight."

"Achem!"

They turned their heads to see a young brown-haired girl in an oversized T-shirt entering the kitchen. "Should I leave you two alone for a while?"

Squall chuckled. "Yeah. Give us about a half hour."

"Squall!" Rinoa chided, trying to suppress a giggle. "It'll be a few minutes, Lexie. Why don't you get dressed? We're going to be…leaving, soon after we eat." Her voice dropped a notch.

Alexa nodded a bit more solemnly. "Okay." She walked back into her bedroom and shut the door. Music started blaring from the room a few seconds later.

"How old is she again? Five, or fifteen?" Squall asked.

Rinoa shrugged. "I'm worried she'll think she's ready to leave home by the time she's six."

"Well, we'll just have to find some Odine bangles and tie her down with them, won't we?" 

Rinoa shot him a look. "Very funny."

Squall raised an eyebrow. "You act like I'm joking."

"Don't make me hang you from the ceiling, _Commander_." She smiled slyly at him.

Squall immediately shut up, unsure if Rinoa was actually kidding. The two of them finished making breakfast together, and were just placing it on the table as Alexa emerged from her room, wearing a white blouse under a red jacket, brown pants, and matching brown calf-length boots. On her hip was tied a coiled cable of leather. She sat down at the table, waiting to be served.

"What did we tell you about that?" Squall admonished.

"What?" Alexa replied precociously.

Squall and Rinoa both pointed at the weapon on her hip. "No weapons at the table. You're not fighting any grats in here," Rinoa said.

"I'm saving myself a trip back to my room; I'm bringing it with me. If we run into any monsters there, I want to help." Alexa spoke smartly, as if she were in a political debate.

Squall sighed. "You can bring it when we go, but there aren't any monsters in here. One thing you need to learn is respect for your weapon. And respecting it is not getting maple syrup on it."

Alexa sighed melodramatically. "Fine." She jumped up from the chair and stomped back to her room. Music again began blasting from the open door.

"Did I forget respect for your _parents_?" Squall muttered, just loud enough for his wife to hear.

"You'd think it'd go without saying," Rinoa said, kissing his ear. He put a hand over his ear and smiled. As frustrating as Alexa could be at times, they both loved her dearly. She was so very special to them, for many reasons. She was their daughter, and their only child. The only real flaw in Rinoa's new body was that it was incapable of conceiving and carrying children. It was a fact they had learned to live with over the past two years, and accepted it as a small price for Rinoa's new lease on life.

The music cut off, and Alexa returned to the table. "Okay, _now_ can I eat? _Please_?" The final word, as it came out of Alexa's mouth, sounded as if it described the most disgusting object humanly imaginable.

Rinoa sighed and handed her a plate of French toast and sausage links. Alexa immediately began to dig in.

As Squall started eating his own breakfast, he said, "How is weapons training going, by the way?"

"Great!" Alexa said through a mouthful of toast and syrup. "Instructor Markson's taking us to the Training Center next class. I'm officially the youngest student at Garden trained at combat!" She raised her chin with pride.

Squall gave a half-smile. "I knew you'd excel."

Alexa looked down into her breakfast, somewhat embarrassed to have been complimented by her father. "Uh, yeah, whatever."

"You're welcome," Squall replied wryly.

"Okay guys, let's eat up. The Ragnarok will be ready to leave in an hour, and we're expected at the Cape by eleven-hundred." Rinoa sat down and began eating. Squall gazed at her. Her body didn't really need food. Or sleep, for that matter. Yet she both ate and slept like a normal person, so she could _feel_ normal. Plus, he wagered, she had missed both luxuries for such a long time that she made sure to take the time now to enjoy them.

"Squall?"

"Huh?" Squall shook his head, and realized he'd been daydreaming.

"C'mon, hurry up. _You_ still have to shower after we eat." Rinoa was looking at him as she continued her meal.

"Yeah, Dad. Jeez, you yell at _me_…" Alexa quipped. Squall shot her a look, and she immediately shut up. 

"So do you," he said to Rinoa. Then, to Alexa, "And you: you don't get to talk back to me until you're a teenager". Then, in a completely childish gesture, he stuck his tongue out. Alexa, in turn stuck out her own tongue, which was loaded with half-chewed French toast.

Rinoa shook her head and rolled her eyes. _A few years ago, I would've had Squall committed if he stuck his tongue out like that. He's finally getting that childhood he missed out on. Just hope he doesn't teach Lexie any more bad habits._

*   


Quistis awoke to the sound of a baby crying. She opened her eyes and focused her powers into wiping away the disorientation from having been awakened so suddenly.

She looked over at Seifer. _Sleeping like a baby. Typical._ She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, stretching her arms.

The baby continued whimpering. Quistis sighed and walked on bare feet over to the crib along the wall. She gazed down at the infant that was whining for all she was worth.

_Hungry again?_ Quistis thought to the baby.

_I'm hungry! Hungry! Hungry!_ was the infant's response.

Quistis gently lifted the infant up to her chest, and then pulled up the right side of her T-shirt, exposing her breast. The baby immediately began suckling at her nipple. Purrs of satisfaction quickly replaced the baby's cries.

_Hmmm, better,_ Quistis heard in her head.

She smiled back. _You're welcome, Jessa. Remind me to teach you manners before you turn one._

She carried the baby, still attached to her bosom, out of the bedroom and into the living room. She sat down on the couch across from a young blonde boy who was playing a handheld video game.

"Hi, Mommy," the boy said, not looking up from his game.

"Why are you up so early, Tracker?" Quistis whispered.

Tracker shrugged. "Dunno."

Quistis sighed. Tracker, who was about one-and-a-half years old, was always taciturn. However, his mind moved at a mile a minute. He was a very intelligent boy, much of which Quistis knew was related to his being the son of the Sorceress. Because he was male, his body couldn't absorb any of her power in the womb, as Jessa's had. However, he was still mentally maturing at a highly accelerated rate. He had already learned enough hand-eye coordination and patience to play his favorite video game nearly every waking moment.

_At least he won't be alone_, Quistis thought. _Two children of the Sorceress living at Garden, both hyper-intelligent. My children, the geniuses._ She smiled. _I guess all the midnight feedings, dirty diapers, and floor cleaning do have a bright side to them._

"Why ya smiling?" Tracker asked without looking up.

Quistis shook her head. "Just happy, is all. You could tell without looking?"

"Heard ya smile."

Quistis nodded. Tracker may not have inherited any powers, but he seemed to be very keenly attuned to the world around him. She'd bet that, With his eyes closed, he could probably enter a crowded room and tell you the name and facial expression of everyone inside. It was an ability Quistis did her best to encourage, and always asked him about, in hopes of better understanding it.

"You're getting better at that," Quistis said.

"Oh." Tracker kept his attention on his game, which was bleeping away with his frenzied button pressing.

"You should turn the volume down on that when people are sleeping in the house," Quistis said, reaching over and flicking the volume control on the game.

"Oh, sorry," Tracker said, not diverting his eyes.

Jessa began to whimper again. _More more more,_ said a tiny voice. 

_Boy, you sure are hungry this morning._ Quistis pulled her away long enough to lift the left side of her shirt and allow the baby to feed from there.

"Hi Dad," Tracker said.

A second later, Quistis heard a wide, deep yawn. She looked up to see Seifer, in his boxer shorts, standing in the doorway. He rubbed his eyes, but kept them transfixed on her.

"Yes?" she asked with an innocent smile.

"Feel like I'm missing the party," Seifer said, rubbing his eyes.

"No, you're not missing anything. Especially breakfast. You're making it." She winked.

"Yeah, yoo makin'," Tracker added. He gave a small, sly smile.

"Oh really?" Seifer asked, approaching the couch. "And which little boy is going to help, huh?"

"Dunno," Tracker replied.

In a wide, sweeping motion, Seifer scooped Tracker off the sofa with one arm and set the boy on his shoulder. Tracker squealed as he flew through the air, dropping his game onto the carpet.

"C'mon, kid. You're for breakfast this time! How does everyone feel about Fried Little Boy?" He winked at Quistis and carried a playfully protesting Tracker into the kitchen.

Quistis shook her head with a smile, and realized that she didn't feel the suckling against her breast anymore. 

She looked down, and saw Jessa looking back up at her, expectantly, with her lip trembling.

_Hurts,_ Quistis heard in her head.

_You ate too fast. We'll fix that,_ Quistis replied as she placed Jessa at her shoulder and began patting her back. 

Quistis sighed, and took this moment alone to reflect on the path that had led her to this moment. The past couple years had truly been a long, winding road. Quistis had been pregnant with Tracker when she inherited the powers of the Sorceress. A few months before her son was born, Quistis had used those powers to resurrect her best friend, and had felt a new world open up to her. She learned to not fear her powers anymore, nor what she would do with them. They became a part of her, and not the invading parasite she had originally felt them to be. She remained as an Instructor at Garden, and in short time became one of the planet's foremost experts on magic, outside of Edea Kramer and Otto Odine themselves.

And now, after those tumultuous times, here they were, a family. Sometimes, Quistis still couldn't believe it. 

She'd been a mother for about a year and a half, not including the nine months she'd spent carrying Tracker. So much had changed in just the past two years. Not just with herself, but with Seifer as well. He had grown up a lot, taking on more responsibility with his own life and his relations with others. She could tell he felt like somewhat of an outsider in a family of Sorceresses (and a genius toddler), but he did his best to be a good father and help raise Tracker to be better than he himself had been as a child. True, Seifer did like to avoid getting up for the midnight feedings, but Quistis had a way of coaxing him into it every now and then.

She heard a small burp over her shoulder. Quistis lightly touched Jessa's mind with her own, and found the baby to have fallen fast asleep. She felt a warm sense of safety and love from the child, and allowed it to fill her soul.

Most of her life Quistis had felt that being in charge and leading others was what life was all about. But now, she knew that was a mistake. Real happiness was sleeping on her shoulder. It was two males, child and adult, making breakfast in the kitchen. 

And most of all, it was the fact that, for the first time in her entire life, she was truly, irrevocably satisfied with who she was.

*  


The Ragnarok touched down on the hill by the Cape of Good Hope, near to the lighthouse. Its forward hatch lowered, and down it walked three figures. One tall and thin, clad in a blue waist jacket, black pants, and black boots. The second was a head shorter and less muscular than the first, wearing a light blue open-front blouse over a black shirt, light blue slacks, and black calf-length boots. The third was about waist height to the first, in a red jacket over a white blouse, brown slacks, and brown boots. 

Rinoa, her Angel Wing weapon strapped to her right arm, cradled an armload of roses, chrysanthemums, tulips, and carnations. Squall and Alexa each held two roses, and their weapons were holstered at their hips. This was a trip that had made many times before, but after today, they knew they might not return for some time.

The short trek across the open field was uneventful. Some time after her rebirth, Rinoa had gained the GF Diablos' ability to repel all but the strongest of monsters, and prevent them from attacking. It had helped them in more than one situation, especially since she and Squall tried to minimize their use of Guardian Forces. They had made so many memories that were too important to them to risk losing, no matter how much power they gained in the process.

When they reached their first destination, they all stopped and stared ahead of them. Ten meters before them, they saw two headstones, similar in shape, and adorned with varied carvings of angels holding torches and flowers. The stones stood in silent vigil near the edge of the cliff before a patch of grass several meters square. 

They approached slowly, all holding hands and mouthing silent prayers. When they reached the headstones, Rinoa lowered herself to her knees. She closed her eyes, and laid the entire bouquet of flowers on the ground in front of the right headstone.

That marker read:

HERE LIES  
Jett Leonhart  
Taken Before He Could See  
The Beauty Of The World  

    
     Born: Died:
    August 20, 3025

The bottom square under "Born:" had been left blank, since Jett had been killed only three months before his birth was due; he had only lived six months, and all of them in the guarded world of his mother's womb. Although unborn children who died at the same time as their mothers traditionally did not receive separate markers, Squall had insisted upon it. At the time, he had wanted to remember all that he had lost in a few fateful minutes of his own failure, that he might never again allow such loss to befall anyone, least of all himself, again.

After a few seconds, Squall and Alexa also fell to their knees, and each placed a single rose on the ground in front of Jett's headstone. Rinoa's eyes were closed, her head lowered.

"I miss you so much," she whispered. Squall placed an arm around her, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I wish you could have gotten a chance to see what life had to offer. And what a great father and sister you have."

Alexa looked up at her mother. As independent as she was becoming, she always would love her parents. And it pained her to see her mother cry. She wrapped her arms around Rinoa's waist and hugged tightly.

"Thanks, guys" Rinoa sniffed. "But I…I don't know why, but it just feels like…I feel like I'm abandoning him now."

"You're not abandoning him, Mom," Alexa said. "You'll always love him."

"That's right," Squall agreed. "When we lost you and Jett, it left a big hole in our hearts. Because you came back, you filled the part of that hole that you had occupied. But there's still a hole that will always be there. We can never replace him, but we can move on, and give the love and caring we would have given Jett to someone who needs it just as much."

Rinoa wiped away a tear and nodded. She could tell how much Squall and Alexa hurt from losing Jett, but they could never understand how she, who'd carried the dear child inside her, felt so empty at times, knowing that child would never emerged into the world to create his own destiny. No matter how much time passed, she would always bear that guilt in her soul.

With a kiss to Rinoa's forehead, Squall took his other rose and laid it in front of the left headstone. Alexa stretched and tried to place hers, but her arm wasn't quite long enough to reach around her mother. Squall helped by placing the rose for her, and then took her hand tightly in his own. 

The second tombstone read:

Here Lies  
Rinoa Heartilly Leonhart  
Beloved Mother, Wife, and Friend  
She Will Always Be Missed  

    
     Born: Died:
    March 3, 3003 August 20, 3025

After Rinoa's rebirth, they had considered removing the headstone, as she was no longer dead. However, Squall had decided to leave it, since Rinoa's body was still, and would remain, buried underneath it. Also, Rinoa wanted her body to keep Jett company, and she never wanted to forget how lucky she was to have a second chance at life. Every time she looked upon this monolith, she was reminded of her great fortune at being able to live again. Squall and Alexa always accompanied her, and left roses at the grave, as a remembrance of all they had almost lost.

Alexa sniffled, and clutched her mother tightly. "I love you, Mom. Please promise me you'll never go away again."

"I'll do my best, sweetie," Rinoa replied, placing a hand on Alexa's shoulder. She sniffed back her own tears.

They all knelt there, holding each other, saying their prayers and silently thinking to themselves.

After a few minutes, Rinoa spoke up. "Okay, I'm ready."

Squall nodded and, kissing her on the cheek, stood. After he had helped the ladies to their feet, he gave Alexa a kiss to her forehead. "Want to take the Ragnarok down there?"

Rinoa shook her head. "It's a nice day. Let's hike down."

They trekked down the hill, hand-in-hand where possible, until they had reached the grassy level ground that bordered the beach. A cool ocean breeze rustled their hair as they approached their destination: Edea's orphanage.

Now fully restored to its original glory, the shining stone building was quite a sight to behold. The marble pillars gleamed in the midmorning sun, and the flower garden, now over three acres in size, gave the place a vivid glow of life and beauty. It was better than Squall had ever remembered, or even imagined it to be.

Upon their arrival at the front walk, they were greeted by a thin woman clad in a black dress and black pumps. Squall smiled with a bit of nostalgia. He felt scant memories return to him: memories of fireworks and games of war, of his Sis, Ellone, and the friends with whom he'd grown up. 

Edea waved at them. "Hello there! It's so good to see you all!"

"Hello, Matron," Squall said.

"Hi!" Rinoa called, waving enthusiastically.

"Hey, Matron!" Alexa shouted, breaking away from her parents and running up to the woman. Edea knelt down and took Alexa in her arms, hugging her tightly.

Squall and Rinoa could see Edea's smile had a tinge of sadness in it. Rinoa asked quietly, "Edea? What's wrong?"

Edea shook her head. "These are all my children. I know that someday, eventually they will all leave to live new lives, but that doesn't make it much easier to say goodbye to them."

"I promise we'll visit," Squall said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I know you will. But I suppose this is what a mother feels like when her children move away on their own. This is what I felt each time one of you left, when you were around his age. You just have to learn to be happy for them, and let them go." Edea stood, lifting Alexa in her surprisingly strong arms. "Shall we?"

Rinoa nodded. They all walked inside, coming to a stop in the foyer. "We'll just be a minute," Edea said, placing Alexa back on the ground and stepping out of the room.

Rinoa felt excitement at what they were about to embark upon, but still could not shake the pain she'd felt from seeing her son's grave again. Squall noticed her falter, and placed a loving hand on the far side of her head, covering her ear and cheek. Rinoa leaned her head onto his chest, and Squall wrapped his arms around her.

_I hope we can do this, Squall._

Squall kissed her forehead. _We can. I promise._

A moment later, Edea emerged back into the foyer, carrying a small knapsack in her hand. She turned back to the doorway from which she came and said, "Come on, now. They're waiting."

Seconds later, a young boy poked his head out of the doorway. He had thick brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a round face appropriate for a boy of seven. He stared at Squall, Rinoa, and Alexa for a moment, and then stepped out into full view.

"Hi," he said shyly.

Rinoa knelt down, bringing herself to his eye level. "Hi, Jarod. We're so happy to see you again!"

Squall knelt down also, smiling at the boy. "Hey, Jarod. How are you doing?"

"Okay," Jarod replied, before running to hide behind Edea.

"Jarod, we've talked about this," Edea said. "You're going to go live with Squall, Rinoa, and Lexie now. They're your new family, and they love you very much."

Jarod clutched tightly to Edea's waist and shook his head vigorously. "I don't wanna go! I wanna stay here with you, Matron!"

Alexa walked up to him. Jarod cowered slightly, but was not as intimidated by the younger child. "Hey, c'mon," she said with the cocky smoothness of an automobile salesman, "I mean, they're okay for adults, even if they are a little weird. But they're really nice. We live at Balamb Garden, remember? You ever been there?"

Jarod shook his head, but stared at Alexa. She continued, "Well, when we get there, I'm gonna show it to you. It's really cool! It's really big, and it flies! I mean, one day we might be in Balamb, and the next day, we fly over Trabia and see all the pretty snow. And we come by here a lot too. You can visit Matron and all your friends. But there's a not of nice kids at Garden, too!" She winked at him. "I'll show ya around, introduce you to all the cool kids. You're gonna love it!"

Jarod lightened his grip on Edea's waist. "R-really?" 

"Yeah. Oh, I forgot! They have, like, all the latest technology from Esthar, too. Video games, and simulators, and all sorts of cool stuff! Maybe I'll even let you listen to my music. Maybe. So, whaddya day?" She held out a small hand to him.

Squall and Rinoa watched as he looked at them, and up at Edea. Edea gave him a look of reassurance and nodded. 

Jared reached his hand out and took Alexa's. "O-okay, I'll go."

"Great! Well, come on!" Alexa yanked him away from Edea, nearly toppling him off his feet. As he righted himself, Rinoa held out a hand to him, and he hesitantly took it. After looking into Rinoa's face for a second, he gripped her hand more firmly and looked back at Edea.

Edea smiled at him. "We'll miss you a lot, Jarod. Come back and visit us anytime."

"I will, Matron. I promise."

Edea handed Squall Jarod's bag. "Oh," Squall said. "I almost forgot. We have something for you, Jarod." He opened his jacket and pulled out a baseball cap. On the front of it were embroidered Garden's ying-yang symbol and a SeeD attack boat speeding below it. "I know you like fast boats, so we thought you'd like this." He held the hat out to Jarod.

Jarod looked at it for a second. "For…me?"

Squall nodded. Jarod slowly reached out and took the cap, looking at it. Slowly, he put it on his head and looked up at Squall. Squall patted his head, pushing the hat down on his brow slightly. "Perfect fit."

Rinoa looked up at Edea. She knew long goodbyes wouldn't be good for Jarod, and it would be best to leave shortly so he could start getting used to being away from the orphanage. Edea, sensing Rinoa's thoughts through her expression, nodded.

Rinoa looked back down at Jarod. "Okay, Jarod, it's time for us to go home."

*  


"Wow," Jarod said as he looked over the railing.

Rinoa giggled. "That was about what I said the first time I saw it." They looked out into the ocean that spread endlessly before them. The evening sky had taken on a red hue, filling the heavenly theater with deep, brilliant color. Although they had only started their day six hours before, Garden had traveled far enough west to bring them into the sunset.

"Hey, thought we'd find you here!"

They all turned around to see Seifer stepping out of the door from the Garden corridor. Quickly behind him came his son, the small bundle of blonde energy, and Quistis, holding a calm, sedate infant.

"Hey!" Rinoa waved at them. "Out for a stroll?"

"We heard you'd gotten back a little bit ago, and since you weren't at home, we figured you'd be out here." Quistis walked forward, enjoying the salty ocean air as it blew her long, unbound hair freely behind her. "Hi, Jarod. Remember me? We met a couple years ago."

Jarod glanced up at her, then bashfully turned away and stepped behind Rinoa and Squall.

"He's still pretty shy," Squall said. "He'll come around."

Alexa leaned toward Jarod and whispered, "They don't mean to talk about you like you're not here, ya know. They're just adults." She giggled and elbowed him playfully.

"Okay," Jarod said, trying to protect himself from being jabbed again.

"Aunt Quisty's cool. Uncle Seifer's a little silly, but he's okay. Watch out for Tracker, though." She pointed to the toddler stomping around the balcony, roaring like a Moomba, and yanking on an orange cord connecting him to Seifer. "He's a little hyper most of the time."

"Hey there, kid," Seifer said, kneeling down. He stuck his face toward Jarod. "How are ya?"

Jarod shrunk back a little. "Okay."

Seifer laughed. "You know something? You're just like Squall. Way too shy. It's all right, we'll break ya in." He adjusted the boy's cap, and then patted him on the head. 

Quistis clutched Jessa tightly to her chest and kept a few feet away from the railing. As much as she trusted her own grip on her child, she didn't want to take any chances. It was a long way down to the gravity rings, and she had seen firsthand what they did to something as hard as concrete. She was glad Seifer had attached the protective leash onto Tracker.

"How are you doing?" Quistis asked Squall and Rinoa. 

"Good, we're doing good," Rinoa said. Although the question sounded innocent enough, Rinoa knew the underlying meaning. _How are you feeling with your new son, and your visit to the one that passed away?_

"I'm very glad for you. We both are." Quistis smiled.

"Thanks, Quisty," Squall said.

"For everything," Rinoa finished. "None of this would be possible without you."

Quistis smiled and turned her head away, feeling a bit embarrassed. "It's lovely, isn't it? It's been a while since I've taken the time to come look at a sunset."

"Yeah, it is," Rinoa said, turning back around. "Maybe we should have Nida change our course so we can keep with the sunset for a while." She felt Squall's arm around her shoulder. She looked at him and smiled. He smiled back, and then both looked down at Jarod. He had turned from them and was watching the sunset as well.

Quistis felt a strong hand at her waist. She looked back to see Seifer, who planted a kiss on her forehead. She smiled, and kissed him on the lips. As they kissed, they heard a cooing from between them. They both looked down, and saw Jessa giving them a wide, toothless grin. They both laughed at the infant's cuteness.

Alexa managed to sedate Tracker (by picking him up off his feet) long enough to get him to look at the sunset with everyone else. Then, suddenly, she released the boy, who immediately sprinted as far as his leash would let him, mocking her by sticking out his tongue and blowing her a raspberry. 

She didn't pay his teasing any heed. She felt something strange behind her. She turned back, and could see nothing except Garden's external wall and the door they'd used to exit out to the balcony. She scanned the whole platform behind her, but found nothing of what she'd just felt. As soon as the feeling had appeared, it had vanished.

She'd had visions before, from what her parents had told her. She couldn't really remember them, but somehow, this one felt vaguely familiar, as if she'd seen it earlier in life. After a few seconds, she shrugged and turned back to the sunset with everyone else. If it were important, she'd worry about it later. She joined her parents and new brother at the railing, losing herself in nature's beauty.

On the balcony of Balamb Garden, two families, all friends, watched the sun finally dip below the ocean's horizon in a burst of breathtaking color. With all the pain and trials they had survived, to have this time to simply live was a luxury they would not squander. Every second would count.

Because they didn't know when the next Sorceress from the future, mad dictator, or omnipotent monster would appear and threaten their existence again. And being soldiers, it was their job to fight.

Fight to protect the world. Fight to protect their home. And fight to protect their children.

TO BE CONTINUED…

  
  
  
*****************************  


Thanks to everyone for reading Love Beyond Death, my first FF VIII fanfic! I plan to thank you all individually on this page, and I'll add it a little later.

After some careful thinking and advice from reviews and personal e-mails sent to me, I decided to remove the last couple paragraphs, which were basically foreshadowing for the sequel. I was trying to set the stage for the next story in this line, but it just looked too out of place, and too much like a commercial teaser. I decided that this story should be able to stand on its own, in case something happens to me where I don't get to write the next part of the storyline.

Anyway, thanks again for reading, and be sure to check out my other fics! I will be updating _When The Dream Ends_, an FF X fic, shortly! See you in cyberspace!


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